Great Britain Is Building Their Own Refugee Wall

[Robert Ghostwolf's Ghost]

It is, indeed.  A short concerto, though most performances never make it until the end because the child isn't content to remain a mute.

That's right, and it's why none of the "Kinder Concertos" have been performed in the U.S. since the late 19th Century. After muckraking, social reformer Commie investigative journalists Javob Riis and Ida Tarbell discovered that criminal gangs routinely kidnapped infants from tenements and sold them into virtual servitude to unscrupulous orchestra owners, the federal government and every state except Indiana and Alabama made it a felony to perform, in public or private, musical compositions that required minors to be placed in the bells of brass instruments.

[Yorkshire pud]

That's right, and it's why none of the "Kinder Concertos" have been performed in the U.S. since the late 19th Century. After muckraking, social reformer Commie investigative journalists Javob Riis and Ida Tarbell discovered that criminal gangs routinely kidnapped infants from tenements and sold them into virtual servitude to unscrupulous orchestra owners, the federal government and every state except Indiana and Alabama made it a felony to perform, in public or private, musical compositions that required minors to be placed in the bells of brass instruments.

Those were indeed different times.

[K_Dubb]

That's right, and it's why none of the "Kinder Concertos" have been performed in the U.S. since the late 19th Century. After muckraking, social reformer Commie investigative journalists Javob Riis and Ida Tarbell discovered that criminal gangs routinely kidnapped infants from tenements and sold them into virtual servitude to unscrupulous orchestra owners, the federal government and every state except Indiana and Alabama made it a felony to perform, in public or private, musical compositions that required minors to be placed in the bells of brass instruments.

Though we of course deplore the abuses, to the musicologist it is unfortunate that, much like the castrato (with that one horrifying exception), the era of child-muted brass ended before Edison could capture it, though the various mechanical devices rushed to the market in an attempt to replicate the constricted, wheezy sound left their mark on much of early jazz.  One may even cite the rise of atonality as an effort to create and sustain those random tones originally produced when the child grew restive, began moving about within the instrument, and finally bawled like a moon-cow.

I love you guys 

[Robert Ghostwolf's Ghost]

Though we of course deplore the abuses, to the musicologist it is unfortunate that, much like the castrato (with that one horrifying exception), the era of child-muted brass ended before Edison could capture it, though the various mechanical devices rushed to the market in an attempt to replicate the constricted, wheezy sound left their mark on much of early jazz.  One may even cite the rise of atonality as an effort to create and sustain those random tones originally produced when the child grew restive, began moving about within the instrument, and finally bawled like a moon-cow.

I love you guys 

I remember reading that several unsuccessful attempts were made to substitute dolls for children. It didn't work because the dolls didn't have the necessary flexibility, and their lack of body heat didn't produce the same warm, rich tones as a live child.

Here's a rare picture from the collection of Jacob Riis that his publisher consdidered too shocking to include in "How the Other Half Lives,"  Riis' famous scathing expose of the miseries of tenement life in late nineteenth century New York City.  It shows a member of a Hell's Kitchen "brass baby" kidnapping ring posing alongside his latest victim. Fortunately, for the child, the police were in the hallway at the time and arrested the fiend immediately after the picture was taken.

[Yorkshire pud]

I remember reading that several unsuccessful attempts were made to substitute dolls for children. It didn't work because the dolls didn't have the necessary flexibility, and their lack of body heat didn't produce the same warm, rich tones as a live child.

Here's a rare picture from the collection of Jacob Riis that his publisher consdidered too shocking to include in "How the Other Half Lives,"  Riis' famous scathing expose of the miseries of tenement life in late nineteenth century New York City.  It shows a member of a Hell's Kitchen "brass baby" kidnapping ring posing alongside his latest victim. Fortunately, for the child, the police were in the hallway at the time and arrested the fiend immediately after the picture was taken.

You've never shared your early years until now; its very moving.

[K_Dubb]

I remember reading that several unsuccessful attempts were made to substitute dolls for children. It didn't work because the dolls didn't have the necessary flexibility, and their lack of body heat didn't produce the same warm, rich tones as a live child.

Here's a rare picture from the collection of Jacob Riis that his publisher consdidered too shocking to include in "How the Other Half Lives,"  Riis' famous scathing expose of the miseries of tenement life in late nineteenth century New York City.  It shows a member of a Hell's Kitchen "brass baby" kidnapping ring posing alongside his latest victim. Fortunately, for the child, the police were in the hallway at the time and arrested the fiend immediately after the picture was taken.

Good heavens, the poor creature looks so distressed!  The baby, however, seems quite content.

Your signal efforts to draw attention to the agonies of these unfortunates (to "raise awareness" in current vulgar parlance) are truly touching.  Let us rejoice in the resplendence of modern, baby-free brass and pause, additionally, to remember the suffering of the poor tubas of the era, for whom the "spit valve" was a mere euphemism.

[Robert Ghostwolf's Ghost]

Good heavens, the poor creature looks so distressed!  The baby, however, seems quite content.

That's not surprising since it was common for the kidnappers to pacify their victims with large doses of laudanum.

Your signal efforts to draw attention to the agonies of these unfortunates (to "raise awareness" in current vulgar parlance) are truly touching.  Let us rejoice in the resplendence of modern, baby-free brass and pause, additionally, to remember the suffering of the poor tubas of the era, for whom the "spit valve" was a mere euphemism.

That's because it's personal for me. My great-grandfather, Fyodor Gryzczevolfezhosken (which was changed to Ghostwolf'sGhost by a lazy Ellis Island immigration clerk), was a brass baby. Fortunately, he was rescued and returned to his family before he suffered any permanent harm. 

[K_Dubb]

That's not surprising since it was common for the kidnappers to pacify their victims with large doses of laudanum.

That's because it's personal for me. My great-grandfather, Fyodor Gryzczevolfezhosken (which was changed to Ghostwolf'sGhost by a lazy Ellis Island immigration clerk), was a brass baby. Fortunately, he was rescued and returned to his family before he suffered any permanent harm.

Hahaha can't top that!  You have jeopardized the orderly consumption of my breakfast, sir.

As a sustained conceit, yours was a tour-de-force.  How you managed without going scatological, as I was obliged to do to my everlasting shame, amazes and delights.

[Yorkshire pud]

Hahaha can't top that!  You have jeopardized the orderly consumption of my breakfast, sir.

Consider yourself lucky; he told me that story while he was driving a truck and hitching up his skirt to reveal his black stockings. Not just my breakfast I heaved up; the supper from the night before was in the queue too.

[Robert Ghostwolf's Ghost]

Hahaha can't top that!  You have jeopardized the orderly consumption of my breakfast, sir.

As a sustained conceit, yours was a tour-de-force.  How you managed without going scatological, as I was obliged to do to my everlasting shame, amazes and delights.

Cheers, K!

I try to avoid being scatological, because otherwise you just wind up with a pile of shit. 

[Robert Ghostwolf's Ghost]

Consider yourself lucky; he told me that story while he was driving a truck and hitching up his skirt to reveal his black stockings. Not just my breakfast I heaved up; the supper from the night before was in the queue too.

No big loss. It all would have gone straight to your hips anyway, Stephanie.

[K_Dubb]

Cheers, K!

I try to avoid being scatological, because otherwise you just wind up with a pile of shit. 

In recompense, I offer:

All hail Robert Ghostwolf's Ghost's tribe,
Whose son has survived to describe
How they stuffed old brasses
With their shapely asses.
The trauma drives them to imbibe.

[Robert Ghostwolf's Ghost]

In recompense, I offer:

All hail Robert Ghostwolf's Ghost's tribe,
Whose son has survived to describe
How they stuffed old brasses
With their shapely asses.
The trauma drives them to imbibe.

 

[Robert Ghostwolf's Ghost]

Timpani timpani.... You load em Vanessa I'll shoot em..

What you do with loads is documented in graphic detail in at least sixteen languages on toilet stalls in every continent but Antarctica. And that's only because the staff at the research station you visited on your posh eco-cruise torched the portapotty you defiled beyond redemption in your inimitable fashion and shoved it out to sea on an ice floe when the ebb tide was at its peak.

[Yorkshire pud]

What you do with loads is documented in graphic detail in at least sixteen languages on toilet stalls in every continent but Antarctica. And that's only because the staff at the research station you visited on your posh eco-cruise torched the portapotty you defiled beyond redemption in your inimitable fashion and shoved it out to sea on an ice floe when the ebb tide was at its peak.

My biggest regret with that low point was the international incident it caused. One of the scientists (normally a very mild mannered and measured female Professor of scientific standing) was vexed enough to wrestle one of the ice core samples from one of her colleagues and find a new way to thaw it out. Fortunately the medics managed to sedate her long enough for me to get on the flight to Chile. It was a close run thing though..

[Robert Ghostwolf's Ghost]

My biggest regret with that low point was the international incident it caused. One of the scientists (normally a very mild mannered and measured female Professor of scientific standing) was vexed enough to wrestle one of the ice core samples from one of her colleagues and find a new way to thaw it out. Fortunately the medics managed to sedate her long enough for me to get on the flight to Chile. It was a close run thing though..

The elaborate fantasies you construct in order to rationalize your singularly aberrant and abhorrent procllivities never fail to give me a good chortle at your expense, but you just mailed this one in with postage due.  You're capable of much better self-delusion than that.

[Yorkshire pud]

The elaborate fantasies you construct in order to rationalize your singularly aberrant and abhorrent procllivities never fail to give me a good chortle at your expense, but you just mailed this one in with postage due.  You're capable of much better self-delusion than that.

You've not known an ice burn like it. No! You haven't.

[Robert Ghostwolf's Ghost]

You've not known an ice burn like it. No! You haven't.

The only way you could be any more tedious right now is if you were spouting nonsense about Building Seven.

[Yorkshire pud]

The only way you could be any more tedious right now is if you were spouting nonsense about Building Seven.

It was brought down by a chem trailing grassy knoll.

[Robert Ghostwolf's Ghost]

It was brought down by a chem trailing grassy knoll.

That's exactly what your Reptilian queen and her Bush family pouch brothers want you to believe.

[Jackstar]

spouting nonsense about Building Seven.

"It was the fires!!!"

[Yorkshire pud]

"It was the fires!!!"

"Whistle"...here boy...fetch the ball.

[Robert Ghostwolf's Ghost]

Let us rejoice in the resplendence of modern, baby-free brass and pause, additionally, to remember the suffering of the poor tubas of the era, for whom the "spit valve" was a mere euphemism.

With a baby in your bell feet first, spit would be the least of your worries.

[akwilly]

With a baby in your bell feet first, spit would be the least of your worries.

damn that's good!

[Robert Ghostwolf's Ghost]

"Whistle"...here boy...fetch the ball.

I'm leaving now, because both of you are tedious.

[Robert Ghostwolf's Ghost]

damn that's good!

Cheers, Willy! May the sort of women you seem to be willing to settle for be plentiful and open minded!

[K_Dubb]

With a baby in your bell feet first, spit would be the least of your worries.

Yes, there was my scatological reference.   

[Robert Ghostwolf's Ghost]

Yes, there was my scatological reference.   

If that's as scatological as you get, you're in no danger of ever been suspected of coprophilia, K.  It's a shame the same can't be said for Yorkie.

[K_Dubb]

If that's as scatological as you get, you're in no danger of ever been suspected of coprophilia, K.  It's a shame the same can't be said for Yorkie.

Oh, but it gets worse.  The heroic couplets which conclude my first two sonnets end with "poo" and "pee" respectively.  I shall be gibbering perched atop a box and begging to be fed mushy peas next, mourning the loss of empire.

[Robert Ghostwolf's Ghost]

Oh, but it gets worse.  The heroic couplets which conclude my first two sonnets end with "poo" and "pee" respectively.  I shall be gibbering perched atop a box and begging to be fed mushy peas next, mourning the loss of empire.

Geez, I tried to give you an honorable way out, but if you're going to insist on digging your own latrine, I'm afraid I'll just have to wash my hands of the whole filthy situation.