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Jackstar Is Single Again (was: (Re: "Hey, Ladies"))

Started by Jackstar, July 09, 2016, 06:34:02 PM

Jackstar

Quote from: Jojo on March 16, 2020, 03:59:41 AM
Women over-analyze.

Pretend you didn't write all that and look at it again and tell me how someone who has no idea wtf you are on about--i.e., me--is supposed to figure out to whom you are referring to, and about what, and how.

Maybe there's an English professor with space in his flat for a domestic apprentice. Look, look, don't be ashamed--a lot of broads like you aren't even educable any more. Take the leap.

Jackstar

Quote from: Jackstar on February 28, 2020, 12:34:01 PM
I knew then as solidly as I do today that the public apology I am entitled to will one day be manifest. [...] Large movements happening behind the scenes.




I don't even know if there's even one of me anymore at this point. It's truly absurd. The lengths that some people will go to prevent any necessity of admitting that they were wrong without having to resort to fellatio seems wildly misplaced and thoroughly hammed up, but given that I don't like sucking cock at all either, it is difficult to imagine crafting any complaint.

Although I suppose I don't actually know if I would dislike it, honestly. I guess it always seemed an implicit fact, but I feel like if I can't just convince a man with rational discourse to follow instruction, resorting to bribery seems like cheating. Hey, is offering sex for some task performed even called "bribery"? I feel like there is probably another name for it, but it's never come up to me until now. I guess I could ask around on my way out of the doctor's office, this is a perfect time for "asking for a friend."

None of my friends happen to be whores right now, but I don't mind fudging the truth a little bit today. Since apparently that's totally allowed! I'll be honest, I am newer to the world of transactional sex than many of you would ever have guessed, and this gap in my knowledge is an aspect to my character that I am particularly proud of, for now.



Kidnostad3

Quote from: Jackstar on March 04, 2020, 10:16:53 AM
Large movements happening behind the scenes. I do so wish I could spare all the details to you, but personal privacy is tantamount.

For now. Strap yourself in.

TMI Dude!  No one is interested in what's going on with your bowels FFS.  Stick to the subject of your lack of success with women. 


pate

Quote from: Michael Kuczi on March 27, 2020, 10:09:58 AM


... all farts and harmonica? I'd subscribe...



I should visit this thread more often...

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=rxdfQz_g_Mw

Jax, you are my intar-tube bro!  I am saddened that I am not on your Voxer fiends groyp...

-p



Jackstar

I dumped the sidepiece. My sidearm. The sideshow?
Whatevah.

SpaceMeowMaid

Quote from: Jackrabbit on July 14, 2020, 02:46:32 PM
I dumped the sidepiece. My sidearm. The sideshow?
Whatevah.
You did? Does that mean I finally have you to myself? :)

Jackstar

Quote from: SpaceMeowMaid on July 14, 2020, 04:11:24 PM
You did? Does that mean I finally have you to myself? :)

Submit a FOIA requesting all records mentioning D.A.R.P.A., The Quincunx, and my surname. Seven separate requests, sequentially numbered, separate envelopes, every combination possible of those three search terms, then kick back and wait a few weeks.

I am not actually kidding. Hey, you asked. Do you think they tell me this shit? I obviously am the biggest blabbermouth in the known Universe.

Company police.


Quotesurname

/flex

Jackstar

 [attachment=1]


I have a feeling that this is gonna get taken to a whole 'nother level.

Jackstar

Quote from: Jackstar on July 14, 2020, 04:17:21 PM
Submit a FOIA requesting all records mentioning D.A.R.P.A., The Quincunx, and my surname. Seven separate requests, sequentially numbered, separate envelopes, every combination possible of those three search terms, then kick back and wait a few weeks.

I am not actually kidding.


https://pics.awwmemes.com/5-gender-neutral-alternatives-to-boyfriend-and-girlfriend-5-goyfriend-if-50077685.png


Some jobs... are harder than others, for some.







Jackstar

Quote from: geNOVA on January 11, 2021, 10:17:00 AM
good links Meow - stay patriot and stay safe...



No debt, no tattoos, and she's a virgin.

Jackstar

Quote from: Jackstar on July 14, 2020, 04:17:21 PM
Submit a FOIA requesting all records mentioning D.A.R.P.A., The Quincunx, and my surname. Seven separate requests, sequentially numbered, separate envelopes, every combination possible of those three search terms, then kick back and wait a few weeks.

I am not actually kidding. Hey, you asked. Do you think they tell me this shit? I obviously am the biggest blabbermouth in the known Universe.

Company police.


/flex

I don't know how I can go on without her. Son, bleh

Jackstar

Quote from: SpaceMeowMaid on July 14, 2020, 04:11:24 PM
You did? Does that mean I finally have you to myself? :)

I'm pretty sure you still have to share with your handler.

Jackstar

Quote from: Jackstar on November 11, 2020, 09:58:50 AM
This space intentionally meow maid.

Oh, months ago, this is great. Rubini is out calling all the time, all the time, I mean... he's calling all the time, because he's not calling me, oh no: he's calling Her.

And I'm picking up the phone a fair bit because she's not there--she's ran off. She's done with whatever the hell he's doing: I don't even know, I'm long past paying attention to her reciting Flat Earth Facts, and him calling her "Meow."

And he needs to talk to her. Needs it. They had had some fake, or pretend, or real falling out. I never knew which was which, especially by that point, and I doubt they did either. They fell out a lot, as one might imagine. Whoops.

She was like, upstairs, or in the bathroom, or something. He couldn't track her location--shields--so he actually has to ask me if she's actually there or not. This is obviously uncomfortable for him. This is before Dallas. This is before the trap is sprung...  but he is.



I learned a lot about fake crying last year. For one thing, I learned that shit exists. Like, what the fuck. Holy shit. Like, for real? Free.eel.

Like, some people just don't have any respect for themselves. For whatever reason. And then other people... they actually have training. I can't imagine the textbooks. Page: 24 Sob. Page: 29 Bluh. Page 55: a-bloo-bloo-bloo. And I'm telling you: once I ACTUALLY caught one of them... that was IT for The Kid.

But not this time. No, this time he's actually wanting to talk to Her, and he's actually thinks he can and he actually does not yet realize that that's not fucking happening. Her instructions are: 'I don't want to talk to that fucking dick! Fuck that guy! Fuck him!!"

Whoa. Sounds serious. Yes ma'am. I'll handle it. I need to talk to him later anyway.

QuoteI don't know how you can manage to stand talk to that prick. He's disgusting! So are you!

Well, for one thing, we're both men. For another, I actually know who I'm talking to. She has no idea who David Vincent Rubini even is. She called him David, she called him Commander (my old job)... and that's it.

At least where they thought I could hear. Eww gross. There were no way, NO WAY, I could keep a straight face a lot of the time. Fortunately, my chair was often facing the quantum node and the back of the chair would face the bed, and then she spent a lot of time in the bed. Which is perfect for me, because there's one chair in here. My chair.

Because COVID.

I'll tell you: 2020 was amazing! For me. I imagine less so for everybody else. How many upgrades y'all get? Like, each. I, of course got 5. /FLEX

What do you mean, "what's an upgrade?" #JustPunyling Things


Jackstar

Quote from: Jackstar on November 11, 2020, 09:58:50 AM
This space intentionally meow maid.

Oh, months ago, this is great. Rubini is out calling all the time, all the time, I mean... he's calling all the time, because he's not calling me, oh no: he's calling Her.

And I'm picking up the phone a fair bit because she's not there--she's ran off. She's done with whatever the Hell he's doing: I don't even know, I'm long past paying exacting attention to her reciting Flat Earth Facts, and him calling her "Meow." Ugh.

And he needs to talk to her. Needs it. They had had some fake, or pretend, or real falling out. I never knew which was which, especially by that point, and I doubt they did either. They fell out a lot, as one might imagine. Whoops.

She was like, upstairs, or in the bathroom, or something. He couldn't track her location--shields--so he actually has to ask me if she's actually there or not. This is obviously uncomfortable for him. This is before Dallas. This is before the trap is sprung...  but he is.



I learned a lot about fake crying last year. For one thing, I learned that shit exists. Like, what the fuck. Holy shit. Like, for real? Free.eel.

Like, some people just don't have any respect for themselves. For whatever reason. And then other people... they actually have training. I can't imagine the textbooks. Page: 24 Sob. Page: 29 Bluh. Page 55: a-bloo-bloo-bloo. And I'm telling you: once I ACTUALLY caught one of them... that was IT for The Kid.

But not this time. No, this time he's actually wanting to talk to Her, and he's actually thinks he can and he actually does not yet realize that that's not fucking happening. Her instructions are: 'I don't want to talk to that fucking dick! Fuck that guy! Fuck him!!"

Whoa. Sounds serious. Yes ma'am. I'll handle it. I need to talk to him later anyway.

QuoteI don't know how you can manage to stand to talk to that prick. He's disgusting! So are you!

Well, for one thing, we're both men. For another, I actually know who I'm talking to. She has no idea who David Vincent Rubini even is. She called him David, she called him Commander (my old job)... and that's it.

At least where they thought I could hear. Eww, gross. There was no way, NO WAY, I could keep a straight face a lot of the time. Fortunately, my chair was often facing the quantum node and the back of the chair would face the bed, and then she spent a lot of time in the bed. Which is perfect for me, because there's one chair in here. My chair.

Because COVID.

I'll tell you: 2020 was amazing! For me. I imagine less so for everybody else. How many upgrades y'all get? Like, each. I, of course, got 5. /FLEX

What do you mean, "what's an upgrade?" #JustPunylingThings

So, a lot of times, I heard them do the little dovey cooing, the "sweeties," the "honey muffins," oh Christ, they had their own fucking lingo. They weren't like that when they talked to me. Oh hell no. We're talking nigger. We're talking Hard R. And we're talking I owned it. I heard the whole cotton ride. They eventually got to where they just sort of... tuned me out. They're pros: they weren't capable of accidentally dropping code bombs. I'm a Sourceror: I'm capable of doing dim.

I bet all y'all of y'all think I'm kidding, huh? Yeah... them too. Heh heh. So for weeks, or months, or however long was--I'm listening and talk to each other and hit each other up for info. They weren't always on speakerphone, for some mysterious reason they couldn't get their headphones working always working always working oh it broke. Damn. I guess you better get another one Sweetie. What happen to the one I gave you, did you like it? Wait what? It broke after 2 days, and then you threw it in the trash? How did it break?

It... stopped? Well, was it running? I see. Well, which trash? Oh, probably this one by the bed, huh? Well, nope don't see it. That's too bad, Darling--I was looking forward to those. They were the special anti-EMF radiation type with air tubes instead of wires. You know, because, wires are... wires. It's supposed to keep the electricity waves from your head, to help with the brain cancer. Well, how did it break? It just broke. Huh. Just broke. Did just us broke? Nevermind. Were they in your ears when they broke? *wince* Well... did you step on them? *WINCE* Okay, okay. Okay, so... where are they?

Because they were a gift. Maybe I can fix them. I thought they were gonna be cool! I just gave them to you, like... 2 days ago? Did they work at all? Of course you don't. Well, I'm just trying to figure out how they broke baby. No, not you, Baby. You're special. No, I'm good for now in my chair. Anyway, come on: Where Are They. Because... they're somewhere and I want to see if I can FIX them! And I wanted to see what they look like! I wanted to see the instructions! Oh, you found them, where were they? Oh, the trash. Oh, okay, thanks. I'll hang on to these: I might need some instruction later. Are you sure you don't remember where they are, huh? well if I got to look at it I'd wonder if they were worth getting a pair see I was going to get one pair and if we like them I'd get a second pair and then... yeah they got little replaceable earbuds is fine see you inside the bag with the instructions in there a whole bunch of little spare parts, did you see? Darling, did you see? Okay, well they're 20 bucks, any luck okay but I guess if they broke real fast, but... Yeah, that's too bad this morning I was looking forward to that. Well I'm glad you enjoyed them while you had them! They didn't even work once? But, you didn't think... to share with me?  WHAT DO YOU MEAN WHY? Well, for one thing, I wanted to see how they worked, number two: maybe there's a refund; maybe there's a warranty, maybe there's a f****** magic wand, f*** I know I gave you the bag and then I just never saw it again! (That same thing had happened the week before, too.)

Ciardelo

Additionally, Craig's List, eBay & FaceBook MarketPlace.

kthnxbai

AC400KICK

I have a rather large breasted 24 year old girl friend that I have not FUCKED yet at almost the age of 40 when most guys would have dumped cumsies in her face. I strictly adhere to the lit city philosophy a la Richard Groyper, my baby, and the ineffible AUSKA LANGLEY.

Dr. MD MD

Quote from: AC400KICK on January 12, 2021, 10:35:23 PM
I have a rather large breasted 24 year old girl friend that I have not FUCKED yet at almost the age of 40 when most guys would have dumped cumsies in her face. I strictly adhere to the lit city philosophy a la Richard Groyper, my baby, and the ineffible AUSKA LANGLEY.

You should just hit that already. I’m sure your city would be even more lit. ;) ;)

Asuka Langley

Quote from: AC400KICK on January 12, 2021, 10:35:23 PM
I have a rather large breasted 24 year old girl friend that I have not FUCKED yet at almost the age of 40 when most guys would have dumped cumsies in her face. I strictly adhere to the lit city philosophy a la Richard Groyper, my baby, and the ineffible AUSKA LANGLEY.


"Rebellion to dumping face cummies is obedience to God." --Anthony


whoozit

Quote from: AC400KICK on January 12, 2021, 10:35:23 PM
I have a rather large breasted 24 year old girl friend that I have not FUCKED yet at almost the age of 40 when most guys would have dumped cumsies in her face. I strictly adhere to the lit city philosophy a la Richard Groyper, my baby, and the ineffible AUSKA LANGLEY.
They have pills for that.


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