This space intentionally meow maid.
Oh, months ago, this is great. Rubini is out calling all the time, all the time, I mean... he's calling
all the time, because he's not calling
me, oh no: he's calling
Her.
And I'm picking up the phone a fair bit because she's not there--she's ran off. She's done with whatever the Hell he's doing: I don't even know, I'm
long past paying exacting attention to her reciting Flat Earth Facts, and him calling her "Meow." Ugh.
And he needs to talk to her.
Needs it. They had had some
fake, or
pretend, or
real falling out. I never knew which was which, especially by that point, and I doubt they did either. They fell out
a lot, as one might imagine.
Whoops.
She was like, upstairs, or in the bathroom, or something. He couldn't track her location--shields--so he
actually has to ask me if she's
actually there or not. This is
obviously uncomfortable for him. This is before Dallas. This is
before the trap is sprung...
but he is.
I learned a lot about fake crying last year. For one thing, I learned that shit
exists. Like,
what the fuck. Holy
shit. Like, for real?
Free.eel.
Like, some people just don't have any respect for themselves. For whatever reason. And then other people... they actually have
training. I can't imagine the textbooks. Page: 24
Sob. Page: 29
Bluh. Page 55:
a-bloo-bloo-bloo. And I'm telling you: once I ACTUALLY caught one of them... that was IT for The Kid.
But not this time. No, this time he's
actually wanting to talk to Her, and he's
actually thinks he can and he
actually does not
yet realize that that's
not fucking happening. Her instructions are: 'I don't want to talk to that fucking dick! Fuck that guy! Fuck him!!"
Whoa. Sounds serious. Yes
ma'am. I'll handle it. I need to talk to him later anyway.
I don't know how you can manage to stand to talk to that prick. He's disgusting! So are you!
Well, for one thing, we're both
men. For another, I
actually know who I'm talking to. She has no idea who David Vincent Rubini even
is. She called him
David, she called him
Commander (my old job)... and that's it.
At least where they
thought I could hear. Eww,
gross. There was no way, NO WAY, I could keep a straight face a lot of the time. Fortunately, my chair was often facing the quantum node and the back of the chair would face the bed, and then she spent a lot of time in the bed. Which is perfect for me, because there's
one chair in here.
My chair.
Because COVID.
I'll tell you: 2020 was
amazing! For me. I imagine less so for everybody else. How many upgrades y'all get? Like,
each. I, of course, got 5. /FLEX
What do you mean, "what's an upgrade?" #JustPunylingThings
So, a lot of times, I heard them do the little dovey cooing, the "sweeties," the "honey muffins," oh Christ, they had their
own fucking lingo. They weren't like that when they talked to
me. Oh
hell no. We're talking
nigger. We're talking
Hard R. And we're talking I
owned it. I heard the whole cotton ride. They eventually got to where they just sort of... tuned me out. They're pros: they weren't capable of accidentally dropping code bombs. I'm a Sourceror: I'm capable of doing
dim.
I bet all y'all of y'all think I'm kidding, huh? Yeah... them too. Heh heh. So for weeks, or months, or however long was--I'm listening and talk to each other and hit each other up for info. They weren't always on speakerphone, for some mysterious reason they couldn't get their headphones working always working always working oh it broke. Damn. I guess you better get another one Sweetie. What happen to the one I gave you, did you like it? Wait what? It
broke after 2 days, and then you threw it
in the trash? How did it break?
It...
stopped? Well, was it
running? I see. Well,
which trash? Oh, probably this one by the bed, huh? Well, nope don't see it. That's too bad, Darling--I was looking forward to those. They were the special anti-EMF radiation type with air tubes instead of wires. You know, because, wires are... wires. It's supposed to keep the electricity waves from your head, to help with the brain cancer. Well, how did it break? It just broke. Huh.
Just broke. Did just
us broke? Nevermind. Were they in your ears when they broke? *wince* Well... did you step on them? *WINCE* Okay, okay. Okay, so... where are they?
Because they were
a gift. Maybe I can fix them. I thought they were gonna be cool! I just gave them to you, like... 2 days ago? Did they work at all? Of course you don't. Well, I'm just trying to figure out how they broke baby. No, not you, Baby. You're
special. No, I'm good for now in my chair. Anyway, come on: Where Are They. Because... they're
somewhere and I want to see if I can FIX them! And I wanted to see what they look like! I wanted to see the instructions! Oh, you found them, where were they? Oh, the trash. Oh, okay,
thanks. I'll hang on to these: I might need some
instruction later. Are you
sure you don't
remember where they are, huh? well if I got to look at it I'd wonder if they were worth getting a pair see I was going to get one pair and if we like them I'd get a second pair and then... yeah they got little replaceable earbuds is fine see you inside the bag with the instructions in there a whole bunch of little spare parts, did you see? Darling, did you see? Okay, well they're 20 bucks, any luck okay but I guess if they broke real fast, but... Yeah, that's too bad this morning I was looking forward to that. Well I'm glad you enjoyed them while you had them! They didn't even work once? But, you didn't think... to share with me? WHAT DO YOU MEAN WHY? Well, for one thing, I wanted to see how they
worked, number two:
maybe there's a
refund;
maybe there's a
warranty,
maybe there's a
f****** magic wand, f*** I know I gave you the bag and then I just never saw it again! (That same thing had happened the week before, too.)
