Author Jackstar Is Single Again (was: (Re: "Hey, Ladies")) (Read 25994 times)

Jackstar · « **on:** July 09, 2016, 07:34:02 PM »

I just came back from the most horrible date I have ever been on in my life. I am not pulling your leg; this was awful.

I knew it was doomed, when she said, "I've worked at Target for eighteen years. No, I don't read the news--why do you ask?"

Actually, she said something entirely different. The transcript has been edited to protect the names of the innocent, and of Allah. Hail Eris!!!!!

Inglorious Bitch · « **Reply #1 on:** July 09, 2016, 08:03:53 PM »

Dateline · « **Reply #2 on:** July 09, 2016, 08:04:54 PM »

You are going about this all wrong. You can join paranormaldate.com, becoming member 48,001.00 and find a lady with a like mind.

It would begin something like this, "I have been a member of a coven for 18 years, and I do read the news daily to perform my spells where they are most needed." Where do you go from there?

GravitySucks · « **Reply #3 on:** July 09, 2016, 08:12:31 PM »

Quote from: Dateline on July 09, 2016, 08:04:54 PM

You are going about this all wrong. You can join paranormaldate.com, becoming member 48,001.00 and find a lady with a like mind.

It would begin something like this, "I have been a member of a coven for 18 years, and I do read the news daily to perform my spells where they are most needed." Where do you go from there?

This is Jackstar. It has to be conspiracydate.com

akwilly · « **Reply #4 on:** July 09, 2016, 08:27:55 PM »

Quote from: Jackstar on July 09, 2016, 07:34:02 PM

I just came back from the most horrible date I have ever been on in my life. I am not pulling your leg; this was awful.

I knew it was doomed, when she said, "I've worked at Target for eighteen years. No, I don't read the news--why do you ask?"

Actually, she said something entirely different. The transcript has been edited to protect the names of the innocent, and of Allah. Hail Eris!!!!!

what the hell man. She has a job and is clueless of what goes on in the world. Sounds like a perfectly fine lady

VtaGeezer · « **Reply #5 on:** July 09, 2016, 08:30:20 PM »

Quote from: Dateline on July 09, 2016, 08:04:54 PM

..and find a lady with a like mind.

Buy a lottery ticket...better odds.

Lilith · « **Reply #6 on:** July 09, 2016, 08:41:43 PM »

Quote from: Jackstar on July 09, 2016, 07:34:02 PM

I just came back from the most horrible date I have ever been on in my life. I am not pulling your leg; this was awful.

I knew it was doomed, when she said, "I've worked at Target for eighteen years. No, I don't read the news--why do you ask?"

Actually, she said something entirely different. The transcript has been edited to protect the names of the innocent, and of Allah. Hail Eris!!!!!

What? No pictures?

ItsOver · « **Reply #7 on:** July 09, 2016, 08:48:01 PM »

There's always Bobo. You can date him without ever meeting him.

Robert Ghostwolf's Ghost · « **Reply #8 on:** July 09, 2016, 09:31:16 PM »

In other words, she didn't know about Building Seven, did she?

Walks_At_Night · « **Reply #9 on:** July 09, 2016, 09:54:56 PM »

Just keep hitting F5 until this little jewel of happiness pops up.

Wham! Problem solved.

ItsOver · « **Reply #10 on:** July 09, 2016, 10:01:27 PM »

Quote from: Walks_At_Night on July 09, 2016, 09:54:56 PM

Just keep hitting F5 until this little jewel of happiness pops up.

Wham! Problem solved.

Perfect! One for JS, one for Bobo.

WOTR · « **Reply #11 on:** July 10, 2016, 02:38:55 PM »

For you, Jackstar. You may want to pay special attention to the advice starting at around 3:30. Now, as I understand things, the history channel has went downhill, but there are still alternatives.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=zLBI9U3QVlI

SredniVashtar · « **Reply #12 on:** July 10, 2016, 02:42:38 PM »

To be fair to Jackstar, someone like him, with his physical and social disadvantages, finds the table pretty bare when it comes to romance, so he has to take what he can get. Most of the women he tries it on with are so old that it's not so much dating as carbon dating.

GuerrillaUnReal · « **Reply #13 on:** July 10, 2016, 02:49:10 PM »

Quote from: SredniVashtar on July 10, 2016, 02:42:38 PM

To be fair to Jackstar, someone like him, with his physical and social disadvantages, finds the table pretty bare when it comes to romance, so he has to take what he can get. Most of the women he tries it on with are so old that it's not so much dating as carbon dating.

That was unnecessarily mean. Although with your joke on the end I can't tell if this was an autistic attempt at humor.

SredniVashtar · « **Reply #14 on:** July 10, 2016, 02:55:06 PM »

Quote from: VoteQuimby on July 10, 2016, 02:49:10 PM

That was unnecessarily mean. Although with your joke on the end I can't tell if this was an autistic attempt at humor.

Yeah, sure, I was deadly serious, you helpless dope. Why don't you just fuck off if this is the best you have? I never see anything from you that isn't accompanied by the scraping sound of a very shallow barrel.

aldousburbank · « **Reply #15 on:** July 10, 2016, 02:55:52 PM »

http://youtu.be/hKWmFWRVLlU

Walks_At_Night · « **Reply #16 on:** July 10, 2016, 03:06:39 PM »

Quote from: aldousburbank on July 10, 2016, 02:55:52 PM

http://youtu.be/hKWmFWRVLlU

Gosh - where was this lecture when I was just a young pup? Would have saved me some
trouble. Only advice I got from my old man was him handing me a rubber and saying:

Quote

Use this. Stay out of the corn hole and you'll be ok

GuerrillaUnReal · « **Reply #17 on:** July 10, 2016, 03:07:42 PM »

Quote from: SredniVashtar on July 10, 2016, 02:55:06 PM

Yeah, sure, I was deadly serious, you helpless dope. Why don't you just fuck off if this is the best you have? I never see anything from you that isn't accompanied by the scraping sound of a very shallow barrel.

Someone is cranky today. Got those bad feels, eh?

21st Century Man · « **Reply #18 on:** July 10, 2016, 03:11:45 PM »

Hey Jackstar. Here's a gal who has a thing for you.

Her number is 666-666-5309. Give her a call. She's ready and waiting.

Jackstar · « **Reply #19 on:** July 12, 2016, 03:51:18 AM »

http://nymag.com/thecut/2016/07/people-prefer-playing-pokmon-go-to-dating.html

nooryisawesome · « **Reply #20 on:** July 12, 2016, 04:18:22 AM »

Quote from: Jackstar on July 09, 2016, 07:34:02 PM

I just came back from the most horrible date I have ever been on in my life. I am not pulling your leg; this was awful.

I knew it was doomed, when she said, "I've worked at Target for eighteen years. No, I don't read the news--why do you ask?"

Actually, she said something entirely different. The transcript has been edited to protect the names of the innocent, and of Allah. Hail Eris!!!!!

How soon before she makes a bellgab account to ask for her stuff back and calls you selfish in the sack?

pyewacket · « **Reply #21 on:** July 12, 2016, 01:23:35 PM »

Don't let it get ya, Jackstar...

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=OpDmF2zu0_I

Jackstar · « **Reply #22 on:** July 14, 2016, 08:17:01 PM »

Alrighty then; I'm not really single any more. I guess it's time to read this thread.

Quote

"Could it be a portal?"

Jackstar · « **Reply #23 on:** July 14, 2016, 08:17:59 PM »

Quote from: nooryisawesome on July 12, 2016, 04:18:22 AM

How soon before she makes a bellgab account to ask for her stuff back and calls you selfish in the sack?

Look, look--I'm a lover, not a prognosticator.

aldousburbank · « **Reply #24 on:** July 14, 2016, 08:19:39 PM »

Quote from: Jackstar on July 14, 2016, 08:17:59 PM

Look, look--I'm a lover, not a prognosticator.

How you could be single is a fucking mystery.

Jackstar · « **Reply #25 on:** July 14, 2016, 08:19:51 PM »

Quote from: 21st Century Man on July 10, 2016, 03:11:45 PM

Hey Jackstar. Here's a gal

Is this... is this kind of low-impact trite tripe your A game, or your sister?

Jackstar · « **Reply #26 on:** July 14, 2016, 08:21:04 PM »

Quote from: aldousburbank on July 14, 2016, 08:19:39 PM

How you could be single is a fucking mystery.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=yGJOMdpKX9A

Jackstar · « **Reply #27 on:** July 14, 2016, 08:23:10 PM »

Quote from: SredniVashtar on July 10, 2016, 02:42:38 PM

To be fair to Jackstar, someone like him, with his physical and social disadvantages, finds the table pretty bare when it comes to romance, so he has to take what he can get.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=XfWdU1SV7A0

Jackstar · « **Reply #28 on:** July 14, 2016, 08:26:16 PM »

Quote from: Robert Ghostwolf's Ghost on July 09, 2016, 09:31:16 PM

In other words, she didn't know about Building Seven, did she?

Didn't even get that far.

"Where do you get your news?"

"Facebook"

"How do you find out about new technological advancement?"

"I don't"

screaming internally

Lilith · « **Reply #29 on:** July 14, 2016, 08:37:52 PM »

Quote from: Jackstar on July 14, 2016, 08:26:16 PM

Didn't even get that far.

"Where do you get your news?"

"Facebook"

"How do you find out about new technological advancement?"

"I don't"

screaming internally

Did she ask you about bellgab?