BellGab.com Archive

Quote from: Dr. MD MD on September 06, 2022, 08:03:20 PMyou're as big of a dick as you think Trump is.

Only boring people get bored. Small minds discuss big ideas. Little pictures have big ears. A letter opener can be used as a lobotomizer in a pinch. Demons are gnawing on my scrote.

Quote from: Dr. MD MD on September 06, 2022, 08:11:59 PMThat's nice. 🙄

See, that doesn't work.

Quote from: Dr. MD MD on September 06, 2022, 08:10:56 PMSounds like something you'd be into.

Can't you think up anything yourself without someone else giving you the lead in?

Quote from: Jackstar on September 06, 2022, 08:13:58 PMOnly boring people get bored. Small minds discuss big ideas. Little pictures have big ears. A letter opener can be used as a lobotomizer in a pinch. Demons are gnawing on my scrote.


See, that doesn't work.

It's just how my parents taught me to talk to people who are clearly insane.

Quote from: Yorkshire pud on September 06, 2022, 08:14:22 PMCan't you think up anything yourself without someone else giving you the lead in?

Hey, I'm not the one with the puppy molestation fetish, pal. 🙄

Quote from: Dr. MD MD on September 06, 2022, 08:16:11 PMHey, I'm not the one with the puppy molestation fetish, pal. 🙄

This is just ONE of your problems. You can't resist over egging something, instead of just letting it go. I refer you to...

Can't you think up anything yourself without someone else giving you the lead in?

Quote from: Yorkshire pud on September 06, 2022, 08:19:26 PMThis is just ONE of your problems. You can't resist over egging something, instead of just letting it go. I refer you to...

Can't you think up anything yourself without someone else giving you the lead in?

I did think of that. That was my response to your confession of being a puppy molester.

Quote from: Dr. MD MD on September 06, 2022, 08:10:56 PMSounds like something you'd be into.

Once, you were so much better than this.

Prediction: rope within two days. It's -not- your fault, and -you- are forgiven. Semper fidelis.

Quote from: Yorkshire pud on September 06, 2022, 08:19:26 PMCan't you think up anything yourself without someone else giving you the lead in?

Presently not allowed. Standards. Civilized.



For reasons that will remain, murky... I can't decide whether to get hired, get high, or just drive to the nearest McDonald's parking lot and puke. Oh, don't hold me, I'll figure it out I'm not scared—I'm despondent.

Quote from: Dr. MD MD on September 06, 2022, 08:21:10 PMI did think of that. That was my response to your confession of being a puppy molester.

Projectile vomiting it is. #Shalom

Quote from: Dr. MD MD on September 06, 2022, 08:15:04 PMpeople who are clearly insane.

Yeah, well, that's why you're clearly welcome to keep practicing on a Sheilded target until you're ready for the real thing, you face 'n' prick-punching pseudotroll. One of these days, you're gonna find out just how sane I truly am, and as you're clearly unfit to manage the pressures at any depth, as soon as I get a chance to pray for your mortal soul, I want to go rub one out and then let Audrey V drink up every drop, but I'm probably contractually unable to feed a plant, based on the telemetry I'm seeing over here.

But you know what maybe I'm missing some telemetry. Maybe you got access to some more data that I don't have. Why don't you lay it down for me what exactly you have in mind when you say that it's clear that I'm insane, I want to hear all about it, you mouth droolin' nose-runnin' tootesmor-toteson.

I wish I had that tower. I could climb up and just... like, look down. Nothing wrong that, at least for me.

Quote from: Jackstar on September 06, 2022, 08:23:56 PMOnce, you were so much better than this.

Prediction: rope within two days. It's -not- your fault, and -you- are forgiven. Semper fidelis.



Presently not allowed. Standards. Civilized.



For reasons that will remain, murky... I can't decide whether to get hired, get high, or just drive to the nearest McDonald's parking lot and puke. Oh, don't hold me, I'll figure it out I'm not scared—I'm despondent.

That's nice. 🙄

Quote from: Jackstar on September 06, 2022, 08:38:18 PMYeah, well, that's why you're clearly welcome to keep practicing on a Sheilded target until you're ready for the real thing, you face 'n' prick-punching pseudotroll. One of these days, you're gonna find out just how sane I truly am, and as you're clearly unfit to manage the pressures at any depth, as soon as I get a chance to pray for your mortal soul, I want to go rub one out and then let Audrey V drink up every drop, but I'm probably contractually unable to feed a plant, based on the telemetry I'm seeing over here.

But you know what maybe I'm missing some telemetry. Maybe you got access to some more data that I don't have. Why don't you lay it down for me what exactly you have in mind when you say that it's clear that I'm insane, I want to hear all about it, you mouth droolin' nose-runnin' tootesmor-toteson.

I wish I had that tower. I could climb up and just... like, look down. Nothing wrong that, at least for me.

That's nice. 🙄

Hey, Jackstar! Would you rather fuck a cow or fuck your mother?

Quote from: Dr. MD MD on September 06, 2022, 09:04:21 PMHey, Jackstar! Would you rather fuck a cow or fuck your mother?

Doesn't matter. What did you make her look like this time? I don't think you understand how the shapeshifting resurrection thing works.

And I definitely don't understand how you're taking offense by the simple phrase "fuck your mother" how about you fuck your own mother and let me know how it was and then I'll resurrect her and fuck her before she is rotted away, like, what the fuck what do you get off and what makes you think you're anything special in any sense whatsoever?

Like, you were never all that exciting and now you're super boring for reasons which you're plainly not aware of. Is it lead poisoning? Did they fuck up your Crystal Light recipe? Which is it? Because other than your obvious prediction for having the spotlights taken away from your dog eating ass I don't see what your fucking problem with me is at all other than that I'll take care of your shit and I don't give a fuck what your fucking problem is. In fact I don't think you have a fucking problem at all.

Because if you did, I would fucking tell you about it.


You just staggered my imagination that you always drop out the fucking "fuck your mother" thing like it's the fucking nuclear option, listen it's English their words there's no such thing as a fence when it comes to language anymore, like, how fucking old are you like fucking nine? I don't think you understand how this works. Grow up.

Quote from: Jackstar on September 06, 2022, 09:19:13 PMDoesn't matter. What did you make her look like this time? I don't think you understand how the shapeshifting resurrection thing works.

And I definitely don't understand how you're taking offense by the simple phrase "fuck your mother" how about you fuck your own mother and let me know how it was and then I'll resurrect her and fuck her before she is rotted away, like, what the fuck what do you get off and what makes you think you're anything special in any sense whatsoever?

Like, you were never all that exciting and now you're super boring for reasons which you're plainly not aware of. Is it lead poisoning? Did they fuck up your Crystal Light recipe? Which is it? Because other than your obvious prediction for having the spotlights taken away from your dog eating ass I don't see what your fucking problem with me is at all other than that I'll take care of your shit and I don't give a fuck what your fucking problem is. In fact I don't think you have a fucking problem at all.

Because if you did, I would fucking tell you about it.


You just staggered my imagination that you always drop out the fucking "fuck your mother" thing like it's the fucking nuclear option, listen it's English their words there's no such thing as a fence when it comes to language anymore, like, how fucking old are you like fucking nine? I don't think you understand how this works. Grow up.

I guess he doesn't like to fuck. 🤔

Quote from: Dr. MD MD on September 06, 2022, 09:27:37 PMI guess he doesn't like to fuck. 🤔

I'm not weighing into this mutual combat but like Sellers said, as Gardner, "I like to watch."

Quote from: Dr. MD MD on September 06, 2022, 09:27:37 PMI guess he doesn't like to fuck. 🤔

We've met.

CNN going with lots of coverage "The Obamas Return!" "SOON: OBAMAS BACK AT THE WHITE HOUSE"

Quote from: albrecht on September 07, 2022, 10:50:09 AMCNN going with lots of coverage "The Obamas Return!" "SOON: OBAMAS BACK AT THE WHITE HOUSE"

Ugh Michelle O's portrait is giving county fair art show, I don't know what happened there, the artist is (or was formerly) credible.

Quote from: K_Dubb on September 07, 2022, 12:26:58 PMthe artist is (or was formerly) credible.

Calling all Carl's, calling all Carl's, hey we just thought of something, maybe Prince was murdered. Be on the lookout for a quarter so you can call somebody who cares, we got plenty of money left over for bribes.

But we're all out of film, cuz we used it all to make bootleg copies of Jack's White Slavery Christmas Eve body camera footage, which, you know, I bet is awesome, but I'm willing to forgo watching it myself so that I can keep the peace in the name of democracy and good clean living.


By the way am I drinking too much or not enough? It's hard to tell these days. Standards.

p.s.: I've been getting plenty of notifications during these messages, if I was causing international incident I would have had something happen. And I'm sure if you could tell me who the fuck keeps calling my phone number trying to find me then I guess you know you would let me know right but oh no; there's an EMERGENCY.

Fortunately I don't think any of you are going to be dying from being embarrassed to death, nor do I think I'm going to have to put up with any more of this bullshit about how I'm supposedly "insane." so if y'all fucking fuckhead fucking cuntfuckers could just lay off the slander for a while that be great, and by the way I'm not doing a fucking singer on this house at all besides leaving it so if you wanted to not be in a completely shitshow shape by the time people get here you might want to send over a helper that I can fucking tolerate.

You hear me back there in the cheap seats, Bright Boy? Good, great, don't ever fuck with me again. I'm not even triggered, I'm just blowing off steam, said the obviously triggered man with his pants around his ankles after sitting on the shitter for the last 3 hours... really it only takes like 5 minutes. I just sit here because I like channeling my inner LBJ.

Quote from: K_Dubb on September 07, 2022, 12:26:58 PMUgh Michelle O's portrait is giving county fair art show, I don't know what happened there, the artist is (or was formerly) credible.

What happened to that one of Soetoro that had him hiding and peeking out of the hedges? Aside from your critique this recent one of Mike: the eyes. They look shifty, like old movies or Hardy Boys books where some villain is peeking out of the eyes of a painting! I'm hoping that painting of Bill that Epstein had (Bill in the 'blue dress') was kept and shown in the national gallery or some place of import.

Quote from: albrecht on September 07, 2022, 01:01:56 PMWhat happened to that one of Soetoro that had him hiding and peeking out of the hedges? Aside from your critique this recent one of Mike: the eyes. They look shifty, like old movies or Hardy Boys books where some villain is peeking out of the eyes of a painting! I'm hoping that painting of Bill that Epstein had (Bill in the 'blue dress') was kept and shown in the national gallery or some place of import.

Oh yes the infamous "Mr. Chen 104 yrs old takes tea in garden" portrait, that was for the National Portrait Gallery I think.

OK I heard what happened:  Mrs. O's painter, when interviewing for the commission (that's weird), brought a list of prepared remarks but was incredibly nervous and couldn't speak on them and had to be calmed down, when she was asked "What got you into painting?" (lol) she broke down and cried about how tough she had it and obstacles she had overcome.  I. e. it is a pity piece.  Mrs. O was always too nice 

Quote from: K_Dubb on September 07, 2022, 01:35:19 PMOK I heard what happened:  Mrs. O's painter, when interviewing for the commission (that's weird), brought a list of prepared remarks but was incredibly nervous and couldn't speak on them and had to be calmed down, when she was asked "What got you into painting?" (lol) she broke down and cried about how tough she had it and obstacles she had overcome.  I. e. it is a pity piece.  Mrs. O was always too nice 

They are supposedly for perpetuity in famous galleries, not hanging on the wall in some elementary school for teacher-parent night. Granted art is in the eye of the beholder, or something. Like when the late great Rodney Dangerfield in the great "Back to School" replied to some guy at a dinner party for the free booze and food said "your wife was just showing me her Klimpt." And he replies "you too, she showed it to the pool boy yesterday." (Maybe paraphrased)

Quote from: Jackstar on September 07, 2022, 12:45:19 PMI like channeling my inner LBJ.

So, what do you think? I'm thinking 333,333.33 a year after taxes salary income for starters... plus 50 bucks a speech. With no mandatory minimum, if I don't want to give a speech forever then I won't. If you want me to give a speech it's 50 bucks. Speeches will consist of at least one vowel and perhaps one or two consonants and then the speech ends and you'll have to keep paying to keep getting more speech. Then again I can't negotiate anything without my buddy Superfly. No, I don't know when I'll see her again, I don't know where she is, and if I did I wouldn't tell you, Bitchlips. Now get out of my bathroom mirror and go to work, get out there and make me some goddam money.

Oh, and I'd like some real dope once in a while. I don't see you fucking harassing the fucking Catholics for their fucking wine I don't need you harassing the Sourceror for whatever the fuck I choose to do that's the fucking law. Don't hate me because I'm beautiful.

Hate me because I'm still alive,  I'm beautiful, and I'm not getting out of bed early in the morning to go to work; fuck you. Get serious.

Obviously, I'll never work in this town again. I'd rather have them alive, I don't have to be having sex with her, but she doesn't need to be dead either, I think we can all agree on that.

By the way do you have any idea who decided to take things this seriously, for this long, and for why? Because I'm still a diplomat; maybe I can help you out some. First I need a new identity, a flying car, and naked pictures of Bea Arthur.

I am not kidding. Do I look like I'm kidding?

Quote from: albrecht on September 07, 2022, 02:11:55 PMThey are supposedly for perpetuity in famous galleries, not hanging on the wall in some elementary school for teacher-parent night. Granted art is in the eye of the beholder, or something. Like when the late great Rodney Dangerfield in the great "Back to School" replied to some guy at a dinner party for the free booze and food said "your wife was just showing me her Klimpt." And he replies "you too, she showed it to the pool boy yesterday." (Maybe paraphrased)

LOL! But as far as eye of the beholder I must disagree vehemently: the painting looks like student work, contemporary painters simply do not have the technique to reproduce fabric textures in the gown and the sofa like the old masters (which is supposed to be the glory of a painting in a rich setting like this) and it shows, its style if you can call it that is the same sort of trashy vernacular beauty portrait as that horrible floating Princess Dianer head china pattern I have around here somewhere, she deserved far better  I am really fired up about this as you can tell, somebody fight me

Quote from: K_Dubb on September 07, 2022, 03:26:03 PMLOL! But as far as eye of the beholder I must disagree vehemently: the painting looks like student work, contemporary painters simply do not have the technique to reproduce fabric textures in the gown and the sofa like the old masters (which is supposed to be the glory of a painting in a rich setting like this) and it shows, its style if you can call it that is the same sort of trashy vernacular beauty portrait as that horrible floating Princess Dianer head china pattern I have around here somewhere, she deserved far better  I am really fired up about this as you can tell, somebody fight me

Somewhere, of course I can't find, an article 'popped up' about how there will be no more Grand Masters and paintings schools are on the wane, even in the heart of the movement of best painters (my opinion) the Low-Countries, and Italy. Apprenticeship over, apparently. My comments: further also since subjects and modern attention spans. So while still a commodity and appreciate by some for aesthetics, or laundering money, there isn't much good 'new' paintings. I think most modern novels are written by weak AI or at least weak formulas. "Even you can paint by numbers or write a novel by following this script!" They used to have on matchbooks a deal about "can you draw this! Then send a SASE here and become a comic."

Quote from: albrecht on September 07, 2022, 03:57:50 PMSomewhere, of course I can't find, an article 'popped up' about how there will be no more Grand Masters and paintings schools are on the wane, even in the heart of the movement of best painters (my opinion) the Low-Countries, and Italy. Apprenticeship over, apparently. My comments: further also since subjects and modern attention spans. So while still a commodity and appreciate by some for aesthetics, or laundering money, there isn't much good 'new' paintings. I think most modern novels are written by weak AI or at least weak formulas. "Even you can paint by numbers or write a novel by following this script!" They used to have on matchbooks a deal about "can you draw this! Then send a SASE here and become a comic."

It's funny, the photograph was supposed to herald the end of representational painting because it was now too easy to get an exact likeness (forgetting Vermeer used a camera obscura probably) so then we got increasing levels of abstraction so finally you couldn't tell what you were looking at and artists just didn't slave over paintings for days or weeks with enough effort to reproduce reality any more, but she said she spent 7 months on nothing but Mrs. Obama    Yikes.  I guess.

Quote from: K_Dubb on September 07, 2022, 04:11:54 PMIt's funny, the photograph was supposed to herald the end of representational painting because it was now too easy to get an exact likeness (forgetting Vermeer used a camera obscura probably) so then we got increasing levels of abstraction so finally you couldn't tell what you were looking at and artists just didn't slave over paintings for days or weeks with enough effort to reproduce reality any more, but she said she spent 7 months on nothing but Mrs. Obama    Yikes.  I guess.

Modern tech can have some good uses, like Bellgab. Or this below. But compare these to these modern paintings. Or, like my name, the works of Albrecht. Amazing!
http://legacy.closertovaneyck.be/#home/sub=open

I thought the Obamas had already done the official portrait thing - the one where he looks like he's at the outfield wall at Wrigley - a strange place for a White Sox fan.

This one.  I guess he gets more because of racism.