BellGab.com Archive

I don't know, sir; that sounds a bit ragey.  Should we work massage into my Vice-Presidential duties, maybe before I walk the dogs?  I am not very strong for that kind of thing but I can be very persistent.

Quote from: pate on September 17, 2020, 11:04:19 AM
Two hundred forty, Make Dad Smile On Wednesday

Code Select Expand

I think it's clear to us all what happened here, right?

Quote from: pate on September 17, 2020, 11:04:19 AMI was driving the other day, and some JOKE of a driver did something stupid to cause some other driver to honk their horn unnecessarily.

All this was me driving piloting sober. How else do you think they can test the guidance computer? They called The Hungarian.

Being able to see into the future is extraordinarily helpful when learning how to insure 100% survival rate. 100% survival rate is very important these days. Fog of war and all--you know how it is.

Quote from: pate on September 17, 2020, 11:04:19 AM[...] I thank you in advance!  It is an honor to serve.

[...]

pate/K_Dubb 2020
"We are going to fix this shit"

Grapefruit demanded a sailboat, however this is not the sale that she's thinking that I'm looking to get here. I know you have flying cars. I know you don't have computers that can handle flying cars. Ergo, the only way to get Grapefruit the flying car that We want is, to build a computer and design the software that can fly a car for Grapefruit, cuz Grapefruit can't fly a car anymore.

With 100% safety rate. This is a tall order but--We can do it. When your species developed quantum computing, and it was hijacked by the NOW DISMANTLED criminal apparatus OVERMIND, It really set back your ability to develop time-sensitive navigation devices. This problem has now been hot fixed. You're welcome.

Tomorrow I'm going to hot fix that box with a band saw, and life will go on as it should. I don't know why you don't think I can pilot a flying car--but I assure you I can. In the meantime I'm going to get Elon on the phone with Penn and Teller immediately. DON'T THINK WE CAN'T DO IT. WE CAN TURN THEIR ADORABLE LITTLE POWER TRIO OF ROOSTERS INTO HENS WITH ONE SHOT, EVEN IF THEY'RE ALL ON SEPARATE CONTINENTS.

But first--cough syrup. ~SS*SF~

I still want a few giant adjustable bench doughpeople rollers that are mounted on trailers for mobility to sites of future traffic incidents.  As President, I feel it should be my duty to watch the punishment so that my people don't have to watch as Criminals are fed feet first through the thing multiple times as the gap between the rollers decreases by 1/64th of an inch each pass. This Cruel and UnusualNecessary and Normal Punishment really should be broadcast on the newly re-organized Public Broadcasting System to show the Loyal Citizens the great strides the Make America Pate Again program is making towards making the Highways, Roads and Byways safer!

Once the offender is reduced to a 1"-1/2" thick pancake, the body can be transported to a high desert somewhere where it can naturally dessicate, mummify and cure:  then some lucky Citizen (or Citizens depending on the rotundity of the Criminal) may have a new doormat for the front of their house.

I think ultimately this practice will reduce the amount of Stupid While Driving incidents, and reduce Traffic Fatalities &c in the long term.  I also have contemplated using the Shadow Government to track any offspring of these Criminals to determine if they also posses the Stupid Driving Gene...

Or then again, maybe people could just stop being stupid and embrace the "Don't Be Stupid" initiative and make such draconian measures unnecessary?

That is such an awesome Necessary and Normal Punishment, I would hate to see it go to waste.  Maybe we could try it out on a few of the members of Past Administrations that are found guilty of Treason and/or High Crimes and Misdemeanors?  There is not a Statute of Limitations on Treason is there?

pate/K_Dubb 2020
"We are going to fix this shit"

Two hundred forty-two, Friday (FSS Three Day Weekend, FFS)"TRIUMVIRATE ARCH"

BLM activities are probably the single most important thing a Citizen can do to improve this great country, today I intend to spend the full requisite hour engaged in this activity.  The indicated mow pattern for this alternate day is on a North/South axis, which is probably the easiest one to deal with.

Well maintained yards, gardens and landscape beds telegraph to passersby that the neighborhood is well cared for by the denizens thereof.

In part, that is the shit I will be fixing today:  it is the weekend;  the yard needs to look good, dammit.

Hear:

https://youtu.be/y_goHl-GuNk

https://youtu.be/Fr09popzhqI

https://youtu.be/xh3ra3dn7ws

pate/K_Dubb 2020
"We are going to fix this shit"

Two hundred forty-three, Saturday (FSS Three Day Weekend, FFS)"JEWELED ALIEN" : "SOYLENT PURPLE HAMBURGLAR" : "PLANK, DON'T RUN"

It has come to my attention the the Vice President would like to initiate dairy reform, this should be part of the Make America Pate Again program.  This program will of course need a snappy name that maybe also has a cool acronym.  While I am busy with the mountain of other shit I am fixing today I will think on this dairy reform shit:  Butter Lactose M*****?  Nautical Shore...

The following musacks have no express or implied guarantee as to quality:

https://youtu.be/5MGlKnIEyqI

https://youtu.be/rVeMiVU77wo

https://youtu.be/U1Rf9B7tGOQ

pate/K_Dubb 2020
"We are going to fix this shit"

Sir, I am not sure about an acronym but I believe we should speak frequently of "closing the butter gap" because, to my ears, it sounds vaguely lewd.

Quote from: K_Dubb on September 19, 2020, 10:55:30 AM
Sir, I am not sure about an acronym but I believe we should speak frequently of "closing the butter gap" because, to my ears, it sounds vaguely lewd.

I think we need to use the Butter Love Machine to close the butter gap.  We will need to secure the rights to some archival footage of Bill Paxton in various roles like this:

https://youtu.be/dmgUrKYeYL8

and the often overlooked Tales From The Crypt episode where his character has a butter addiction:

https://youtu.be/jkD-ozOl3_I

We should be able to use quotes from the late Bill Paxton;  who I have been told I resemble, and I am actually President of the Kansas City Local Bill Paxton Fan Club.  Right there I demonstrate past Presidential experience, so this campaign will only add to our steadily growing domination of market-share in the multi-vote.

Also, the use of butter may aid in the process of donning and removing the velvet glove from the iron fist as the situation merits.  Again, K_Dubb you brilliant ideas help the Make America Pate Again campaign soar to ever loftier heights.  The White House may require the addition of an Ivory Tower from which to look upon the great work we will accomplish!

Extra plums are indicated for your place at the table, yet again!



I have no idea what quality the musacks that follow, but the man appears shirtless:

https://youtu.be/0e_HEDoT6yY

pate/K_Dubb 2020
"We are going to fix this shit"

Dear sir,

I am delighted to see you all on board with this butter issue which, as you can doubtless tell, is very close to my heart!  As it is fair season it occurs to me that the quality of the nation's butter sculptures will rise with the standards, as anyone who has tried to spread a pat of good Isigny Sainte-Mère straight from the fridge can attest to the stubborn durability of the medium.  My favorite French restaurant here serves it on chilled plates sliced like cheese to put on their fresh baguettes, and the effect is wonderful.



I am not sure what is going on here but I can't help but feel that a firmer touch might have been helpful in modeling the winged gentleman's face in particular.

Quote from: K_Dubb on September 19, 2020, 10:55:30 AM
Sir, I am not sure about an acronym but I believe we should speak frequently of "closing the butter gap" because, to my ears, it sounds vaguely lewd.

Indeed.  And don’t forget ice cream.  We need REAL ice cream, with natural ingredients.  I want something that came from the teats of a cow.  Man cannot live on butter, alone!



“butter to spread, ice cream to lick, for all!”

Quote from: ItsOver on September 20, 2020, 10:04:54 AM
Indeed.  And don’t forget ice cream.  We need REAL ice cream, with natural ingredients.  I want something that came from the teats of a cow.  Man cannot live on butter, alone!



“butter to spread, ice cream to lick, for all!”

Oh absolutely!  The same standards -- higher fat, lower moisture -- should be applied to all dairy products, particularly those labeled "cream" as that is the main attraction.  I will confess a liking, one in a while, for that cheap Sno-Star grocery-store Neapolitan (and that horrible pink peppermint sludge at Christmas) that comes from a cardboard box since the aerated iciness and distinct cellulose aftertaste bring back memories of childhood so perhaps these "legacy" products might be kept around for furtive purchases wrapped in brown paper, but all other ice creams should be, primarily, cream.

I am enjoying this rural fantasy you are pushing but I am not sure the good people of Young's will have the same tolerance for my big-city smashy-looty ways and I will probably be strung up by my skinny jeans should I ever set foot in there.

Quote from: K_Dubb on September 20, 2020, 10:20:20 AM
Oh absolutely!  The same standards -- higher fat, lower moisture -- should be applied to all dairy products...

...I am enjoying this rural fantasy you are pushing but I am not sure the good people of Young's will have the same tolerance for my big-city smashy-looty ways and I will probably be strung up by my skinny jeans should I ever set foot in there.

Heh, heh, heh... you indeed might have to tone down the “big-city smashy-looty ways” within the Yellow Springs “sphere of influence” but just think of Yellow Springs, including Young’s, as an idyllic, utopian wonderland, populated with free-thinking hipsters and hippie types, welcoming to all.  It’s more of a Bob Dylan paradise than a “let’s burn this place to the ground” abode.  But that’s what nearby Dayton and Cincinnati are for!  That way you have the advantage of kicking up your heals, with fellow revolutionaries, when the mood strikes, wreaking havoc for a day or two, then retreating to a safe,bucolic, dacha.  With easy access to fresh, pure dairy products, farmer market weekends, incense, and peppermints!  One needs to consider these things, in the tea time of life.

Quote from: pate on September 19, 2020, 07:34:19 PM

pate/K_Dubb 2020
"We are going to fix this shit"

Look how far we've come. Remember how long ago it was? Maybe someone will take some ACTION soon.

Two hundred forty-four, Sunday (FSS Three Day Weekend, FFS)"JEWELED ALIEN" : "SPITZ FIREDUST" : "OVER ARCHON"

Quote from: K_Dubb on September 20, 2020, 10:20:20 AM
... smashy-looty ...

I cannot get behind the practice of lute-smashery:  maybe in the specific case where a song is "nailed" to perfection in a live stage performance, for instance;  had the following been a live audience event I would begrudgingly allow the lute to be smashed after the song was over:

https://youtu.be/xJh865acA-U

On the Butter Love Machine/Movement;  I agree that Ice Cream should be included in the initiative, as well as Frozen Custards.  I also think that the red "HOMO" milk should really be the only milk approved for human consumption;  and instead of removing the cream from the milk and marketing it as Skim, Fat-free, 1%, 2% and/or Milky Water that the by-product from the cream removal process should be turned into Ricotta Cheese for the production of Cheesecakes, Lasagnas and Filled Dessert Manicotti.



I had found a recipe for something similar to the one above, only the manicotti was Deep Fried then stuffed with a Ricotta, Honey and Candied Citrus Zest filling.  It was really tasty.

The ultimate root of the current Civil Unrest, general Social Malaise and almost ubiquitous state of Disaffectation can very probably be traced back to the sad state of Dairy Products in this the greatest Nation on the Earth.  I am therefore pleased to announce that K_Dubb's dairy Butter Love Machine/Movement will be a quite solid plank in the Make America Pate Again first one hundred days if for no other reason than the narrowing of the butter gap, and the cessation of reliance on the importation of Foreign High Fat Low Moisture dairy products.

This practice must end;  as the nation that leads the planet in number of head in the National Beef Cattle Stock there is no reason why some of those cannot be used to secure, assure and provide raw material for higher quality domestically produced dairy products.

As an aside, I would also like to end the practice of fortification of Dairy products with Vitamin D.  As everyone knows, the human body produces its own required daily nutritional allotment of Vitamin D via the skin (the largest organ of the human body) when exposed to full sunlight.  For certain individuals as little as fifteen minutes of exposure to the sun is enough for the body to generate the required daily amount of Vitamin D.

Naturally, by removing the artificially added Vitamin D the people of the nation will be encouraged to spend probably an hour each day outside in the the sunlight shirtless in order to maintain the body's naturally produced store of that critical nutritional aliment!

I have just received a call from one of my constituents that has some shit that needs fixing.  I must attend to that shit, hear musacks:

https://youtu.be/j8e3auPE4ts

I thank you in advance!  It is an honor to serve.

pate/K_Dubb 2020
"We are going to fix this shit"

President pate
It has come to my attention that there is now a disastrous shortage of paprika in American stores. Instead of coming from Hungary, Guatemala or Mexico, modern paprika comes from the slave holding provinces of Red China and is no longer imported.
This shit needs to be fixed.

Two hundred forty-five, Monday"METHUSULA PROGENY" : "EYE DEW" : "TRIUMVIRATE ARCH" : "SOYLENT PURPLE HAMBURGLAR" : "PLANK, DON'T RUN" : "SPITZ FIREDUST" : "OVER ARCHON"

Quote from: Juan on September 20, 2020, 06:25:22 PM
President pate
It has come to my attention that there is now a disastrous shortage of paprika in American stores. Instead of coming from Hungary, Guatemala or Mexico, modern paprika comes from the slave holding provinces of Red China and is no longer imported.
This shit needs to be fixed.

Yes, I had actually noticed this shortage a few months ago;  I was on a supply mission to one of the "Big Box Wholesale" establishments.  That particular location took several weeks or a month before their supply was replenished:  but they had all the other bulk spices that they normally carry;  only Paprika seemed to be Out Of Stock.   I usually buy Paprika in bulk, although I do have a few smaller Hungarian containers of Mild-Hot and Smoked/Unsmoked as well.  It has always made me wonder why Paprika which is derived from a plant native to the New World:  why the "best" Paprika is produced in Hungary?

I can only imagine that Hungary's climate is roughly analogous to some part of the Continental United States;  therefore:  no reason at all why we cannot Make America Pate Again by promoting a strong, vigorous and domestic Paprika industry for both National Strategic Paprika Reserves and for export purposes.  Some varieties of Paprika are Smoked:  the United States already has a strong domestic industrial base in the Bar-B-Que food sector which many Dirty Foreign Countries attempt to seize control of.  Paprika is a vital ingredient in the BBQ world:  why not use the Industrial Smokers already employed in the production of Bacon, Pastrami and Pulled Pork to also produce a superior Domestically Sourced Fine Smoked Paprika?

These Paprika shortages, must end!  In order to address this critical Food Supply issue that affects National Security;  I would like to initiate, at some point during the first 100 days of my Administration, the necessary ground-work to fix that shit.  New agriculture opportunities, Paprika production industrial infrastructure and Corporate/Entrepreneurial business ventures in this Critical National Industry will abound.

I envision the ability of every Citizen to properly garnish their Hard-Boiled Deviled Eggs appropriately no matter their Race, Class or Religion.  This great nation will become internationally recognized as the Primary Source of Paprika, and will be a beacon of hope and model to the world.  The supply of Paprika will be plentiful and affordable to all Citizens (except Kansans, because fuck them):  from low-quality Paprika suitable for aid in oven browning of casseroles, whole chickens and pork roasts to sublimely Smoked Half-Sharp/Sharp Paprika for flavor enhancement of soups, sauces and stock:  NO proud American will be embarrassed by empty Paprika shelves at the grocery, warehouse or farmer's market.

The position of Paprika Czar in my Administration is now available, with a plum, to any Citizen of Good Standing in exchange for a vote and/or multi-vote!

https://youtu.be/9ICfpu0nV7k

I thank you in advance!  It is an honor to serve.

pate/K_Dubb 2020
"We are going to fix this shit"

Quote from: pate on September 21, 2020, 11:32:40 AM
Two hundred forty-five, Monday

Code Select Expand

"METHUSULA PROGENY" : "EYE DEW" : "TRIUMVIRATE ARCH" : "SOYLENT PURPLE HAMBURGLAR" : "PLANK, DON'T RUN" : "SPITZ FIREDUST" : "OVER ARCHON"

Yes, I had actually noticed this shortage a few months ago;  I was on a supply mission to one of the "Big Box Wholesale" establishments.  That particular location took several weeks or a month before their supply was replenished:  but they had all the other bulk spices that they normally carry;  only Paprika seemed to be Out Of Stock.   I usually buy Paprika in bulk, although I do have a few smaller Hungarian containers of Mild-Hot and Smoked/Unsmoked as well.  It has always made me wonder why Paprika which is derived from a plant native to the New World:  why the "best" Paprika is produced in Hungary?

I can only imagine that Hungary's climate is roughly analogous to some part of the Continental United States;  therefore:  no reason at all why we cannot Make America Pate Again by promoting a strong, vigorous and domestic Paprika industry for both National Strategic Paprika Reserves and for export purposes.  Some varieties of Paprika are Smoked:  the United States already has a strong domestic industrial base in the Bar-B-Que food sector which many Dirty Foreign Countries attempt to seize control of.  Paprika is a vital ingredient in the BBQ world:  why not use the Industrial Smokers already employed in the production of Bacon, Pastrami and Pulled Pork to also produce a superior Domestically Sourced Fine Smoked Paprika?

These Paprika shortages, must end!  In order to address this critical Food Supply issue that affects National Security;  I would like to initiate, at some point during the first 100 days of my Administration, the necessary ground-work to fix that shit.  New agriculture opportunities, Paprika production industrial infrastructure and Corporate/Entrepreneurial business ventures in this Critical National Industry will abound.

I envision the ability of every Citizen to properly garnish their Hard-Boiled Deviled Eggs appropriately no matter their Race, Class or Religion.  This great nation will become internationally recognized as the Primary Source of Paprika, and will be a beacon of hope and model to the world.  The supply of Paprika will be plentiful and affordable to all Citizens (except Kansans, because fuck them):  from low-quality Paprika suitable for aid in oven browning of casseroles, whole chickens and pork roasts to sublimely Smoked Half-Sharp/Sharp Paprika for flavor enhancement of soups, sauces and stock:  NO proud American will be embarrassed by empty Paprika shelves at the grocery, warehouse or farmer's market.

The position of Paprika Czar in my Administration is now available, with a plum, to any Citizen of Good Standing in exchange for a vote and/or multi-vote!

https://youtu.be/9ICfpu0nV7k

I thank you in advance!  It is an honor to serve.

pate/K_Dubb 2020
"We are going to fix this shit"

May Lee bless you, sir.

#SaveOurSpicesNaow!
#SpiceSourcesMatter

Quote from: ItsOver on September 21, 2020, 12:25:59 PM
May Lee bless you, sir.

#SaveOurSpicesNaow!
#SpiceSourcesMatter

I think the following musacks should be played in the run-up to any stump, soap-box or whistle-stop Paprika speeches by K_Dubb, myself or anyone else campaigning on behalf of the MAPA initiative:

https://youtu.be/1UcCQP1fkD0

pate/K_Dubb 2020
"We are going to fix this shit"

Quote from: pate on September 21, 2020, 01:32:58 PM
I think the following musacks should be played in the run-up to any stump, soap-box or whistle-stop Paprika speeches by K_Dubb, myself or anyone else campaigning on behalf of the MAPA initiative:

https://youtu.be/1UcCQP1fkD0

pate/K_Dubb 2020
"We are going to fix this shit"

Absolutely.  Spice is life!

Heads up, Mr. Prez.  Lee is calling.  An opportunity for a campaign stump this Saturday.

Quote from: ItsOver on September 21, 2020, 02:06:19 PM
Heads up, Mr. Prez.  Lee is calling.  An opportunity for a campaign stump this Saturday.

I can run the sound-board;  I do not know about co-hosting:  I do not have a web-cam.  I do have an Olympus digital FE-47 camera that has video capability, but I am unsure that I can use that as a "live webcam" so it would have to be that or one of my device's that have built in cameras (tablet and several different cell phones)...

Perhaps I should research that shit and fix it?  Also, I would have to wear my balaclava and BCG sunglasses for security purposes, apparently my campaign does not rate Secret Service protection and I must protect myself from assassination attempts.

Maybe eMCee can digitally blur my face on the stream, one of those voice garble-er things would be cool too, although my voice is already out there for real world comparison...

I would hate for a random psychotic passer-by to recognize me and try something stupid that would result in their death just because I happen to be running for President and they are all crazy and shit.

I should probably come up with a plan to fix this nationwide random psycho passerby shit;  now that I think of it.

pate/K_Dubb 2020
"We are going to fix this shit"

Quote from: pate on September 21, 2020, 03:37:13 PMAlso, I would have to wear my balaclava and BCG sunglasses for security purposes

That's a good idea, because I noticed on the last GabCast that MV has some darn pretty eyes. No homo.

Quote from: pate on September 21, 2020, 03:37:13 PM
I can run the sound-board;  I do not know about co-hosting:  I do not have a web-cam.  I do have an Olympus digital FE-47 camera that has video capability, but I am unsure that I can use that as a "live webcam" so it would have to be that or one of my device's that have built in cameras (tablet and several different cell phones)...

Perhaps I should research that shit and fix it?  Also, I would have to wear my balaclava and BCG sunglasses for security purposes, apparently my campaign does not rate Secret Service protection and I must protect myself from assassination attempts.

Maybe eMCee can digitally blur my face on the stream, one of those voice garble-er things would be cool too, although my voice is already out there for real world comparison...

I would hate for a random psychotic passer-by to recognize me and try something stupid that would result in their death just because I happen to be running for President and they are all crazy and shit.

I should probably come up with a plan to fix this nationwide random psycho passerby shit;  now that I think of it.

pate/K_Dubb 2020
"We are going to fix this shit"

An incognito presidential candidate.  Cool.

Quote from: pate on September 20, 2020, 12:37:01 PM
...Filled Dessert Manicotti.



I had found a recipe for something similar to the one above, only the manicotti was Deep Fried then stuffed with a Ricotta, Honey and Candied Citrus Zest filling.  It was really tasty.

Heavens, that sounds an awful lot like cannoli!  Which I adore, but have never attempted since I don't have the little tubes to fry them on.  Can you, in fact, simply fry a preformed manicotto?  (I am just guessing on the singular form of "manicotti".)  I shall hold all forms of lute-smashing in abeyance until this question is resolved though in a pinch may take my frustrations out on a cheap plastic ukulele I bought in Hawaii that never stays in tune.

Quote from: pate on September 21, 2020, 11:32:40 AM
The position of Paprika Czar in my Administration is now available, with a plum, to any Citizen of Good Standing in exchange for a vote and/or multi-vote!

The obvious choice would be our resident Hungarian but, though I have baited him on several occasions, his utter disinterest in the subject might prove a barrier.  I see no reason why the vast deserts of the Southwest might not be coaxed into serving as the nation's paprika-basket, sustained by large-scale irrigation projects.  Pahrump, renamed "Little Buda" with its aquifer, might be the nucleus of this effort, with neat rows of peppers replacing the ugly scab tended by buxom ladies in headscarves and flowery applique, with everywhere the czardas and verbunko to be heard.

Quote from: ItsOver on September 20, 2020, 11:37:04 AM
Heh, heh, heh... you indeed might have to tone down the “big-city smashy-looty ways” within the Yellow Springs “sphere of influence” but just think of Yellow Springs, including Young’s, as an idyllic, utopian wonderland, populated with free-thinking hipsters and hippie types, welcoming to all.  It’s more of a Bob Dylan paradise than a “let’s burn this place to the ground” abode.  But that’s what nearby Dayton and Cincinnati are for!  That way you have the advantage of kicking up your heals, with fellow revolutionaries, when the mood strikes, wreaking havoc for a day or two, then retreating to a safe,bucolic, dacha.  With easy access to fresh, pure dairy products, farmer market weekends, incense, and peppermints!  One needs to consider these things, in the tea time of life.

Gosh, that is lovely!  I would not like to burn that down.  Better some random Wendy's somewhere.

Two hundred forty-six, Terrible Tuesday"OVER ARCHON" : "EYE DEW" : "JEWELED ALIEN"

Quote from: Innerreach on September 21, 2020, 03:47:16 PM
That's a good idea, because I noticed on the last GabCast that MV has some darn pretty eyes. No homo.

I have a set that are a bit more steely, but they are sort of "hazel" like in that depending on the color of my wardrobe their apparent color is variable.  To protect the general public, much like that one cartoon character;  it is probably advisable that they be hidden from view.

Innerreach, would you care for a position in my upcoming Administration?  There are many seats available still;  with few exceptions you can probably name the position you wish to fill.  All I require is your vote and/or multi-vote and you will get both the Chairmanship, Secretary Seat or any other official Government Position you like along with a delicious plum!

I can even create positions, as I understand it:  I have unlimited leeway in the creation of various Executive Czar of xyz offices.  You and your multi-vote are welcome to come aboard!

Quote from: ItsOver on September 21, 2020, 04:33:26 PM
An incognito presidential candidate.  Cool.

I think this is a prudent protective posture, although perhaps outside of "normal" political Campaigns;  in addition holding the Reigns as duly elected Dictator For Life of the PFDRp after K_Dubb's official recognition of that State (which I believe may be done in his Vice-Presidential capacity before the first one hundred days of Making America Pate Again have elapsed):  part of the plan that has not been revealed explicitly until now, although astute readers may have recognized the inevitability of;  is for me to also take up the Reins of the Shadow Government as Shadow President.

Quote from: K_Dubb on September 22, 2020, 09:26:08 AM
Heavens, that sounds an awful lot like cannoli!  Which I adore, but have never attempted since I don't have the little tubes to fry them on.  Can you, in fact, simply fry a preformed manicotto?  (I am just guessing on the singular form of "manicotti".)  I shall hold all forms of lute-smashing in abeyance until this question is resolved though in a pinch may take my frustrations out on a cheap plastic ukulele I bought in Hawaii that never stays in tune.

For the form to fry your Cannoli on:  I would recommend a short length of Stainless Steel tubing of appropriate diameter that you may cut to size using a hacksaw, you will want to de-burr the sharp edges of that thing with a grinder or sandpaper so it does not cut your delicate fingers while you are forming the Cannoli on them prior to deep frying.  This is probably a quicker, easier and less expensive option than searching the entirety of the intar-tubes for such a specialized tool.

With some imagination I bet you could find other uses for this tool to make it multi-purpose;  perhaps when not being used for Cannoli formation several of them of varying lengths could be used as accents on the buffet table if stood on end, polished to a high degree of reflectivity and a single flower/delicately leaved frond or branch inserted into the thing.

Apparently there is some confusion on what the difference between Manicotti vis-à-vis Cannoli actually is:  Hell, even I get confused sometimes.  I think the actual proper name for the Dessert I referenced above was indeed Cannoli;  in my rush to get the important message out I misspoke! 

Ouch:  another entry on my shit-list of Campaign Gaffes that will need to be fixed while we are re-writing the Official patian History of this Greatest Nation on The Earth.

Hopefully, the following musacks that are entirely random in nature will distract any critics so that this most recent, but rare, Campaign Gaffe is not brought to light in a vitriolic Op-Ed hit-piece against the Make America Pate Again movement:

https://youtu.be/8o5KQx6G0Bk

https://youtu.be/GIuZUCpm9hc

https://youtu.be/hYkN1hpkOUA

pate/K_Dubb 2020
"We are going to fix this shit"

I'm a little tired of shit not getting fixed.  Maybe it's time to focus on 'pushing some shit.'  K_Dubb, you're up.

Quote from: paladin1991 on September 22, 2020, 11:45:54 AM
I'm a little tired of shit not getting fixed.  Maybe it's time to focus on 'pushing some shit.'  K_Dubb, you're up.

This is the time of year when our thoughts turn to baking for Christmas!  Just yesterday I made a fyrstekake (sort of a rustic almond tart thing) to be carefully wrapped in tissue and tinned for several months, during which time the subtle flavors of almond and cardamom suffuse the whole in an intoxicating wash and the pastry, hard and browned from the oven, gradually softens as the almond filling releases its retained moisture, ultimately yielding a velvety, supremely buttery crumb.  Needless to say, these treats must be stored way up high, so high that small children and even belligerent teenagers can not reach them.

Fudge is also one of the delicacies we make around this time.  You would be amazed at how long it keeps if stored properly!  Now I am aware that, on your side of the mountains, you pride yourselves in the old ways of food preservation like canning and smoking but we have our own tricks and, if you want to come over here, I will pack your fudge so high it will be nice and safe until Christmas.

Quote from: K_Dubb on September 22, 2020, 12:22:37 PM
This is the time of year when our thoughts turn to baking for Christmas!  Just yesterday I made a fyrstekake (sort of a rustic almond tart thing) to be carefully wrapped in tissue and tinned for several months, during which time the subtle flavors of almond and cardamom suffuse the whole in an intoxicating wash and the pastry, hard and browned from the oven, gradually softens as the almond filling releases its retained moisture, ultimately yielding a velvety, supremely buttery crumb.  Needless to say, these delicacies must be stored way up high, so high that small children and even belligerent teenagers can not reach them.

Fudge is also one of the delicacies we make around this time.  You would be amazed at how long it keeps if stored properly!  Now I am aware that, on your side of the mountains, you pride yourselves in the old ways of food preservation like canning and smoking but we have our own tricks and, if you want to come over here, I will pack your fudge so high it will be nice and safe until Christmas.

My mother does something similar, although it is Fruit Cake.  When they are done cooking they get wrapped in Cheesecloth and put in the refrigerator where they are given a shot or two of Bourbon on what I believe to be a weekly basis.  This keeps them from getting moldy, and also contributes to the flavor among other things.

I think you should experiment with this fyrstekake of yours and perhaps take one or two aside for an experiment to see if feeding the things some appropriate flavored or unflavored eau-de-vie might, shall we say, enhance the enjoyment when Christmas arrives?  Maybe an Almond schnapps or something?

pate/K_Dubb 2020
"We are going to fix this shit"

Quote from: pate on September 22, 2020, 12:46:58 PM
My mother does something similar, although it is Fruit Cake.  When they are done cooking they get wrapped in Cheesecloth and put in the refrigerator where they are given a shot or two of Bourbon on what I believe to be a weekly basis.  This keeps them from getting moldy, and also contributes to the flavor among other things.

I think you should experiment with this fyrstekake of yours and perhaps take one or two aside for an experiment to see if feeding the things some appropriate flavored or unflavored eau-de-vie might, shall we say, enhance the enjoyment when Christmas arrives?  Maybe an Almond schnapps or something?

pate/K_Dubb 2020
"We are going to fix this shit"

Yes!  I will make a Private Reserve cake, with Disarrono administered by eyedropper through the lattice on top.  It may not be orthodox but there's no way it can be bad.