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pate/K_Dubb 2020 - "We are going to fix this shit"

Started by pate, July 18, 2020, 04:06:34 PM

Three of the five below are the correct answers, you are invited to choose one. Just remember that the odds are in your flavor, but which is the favorite oddity?

Biden/Harris (D)
2 (7.7%)
pate/K_Dubb (aye)
7 (26.9%)
pate/K_Dubb (eye)
8 (30.8%)
pate/K_Dubb (I)
5 (19.2%)
Trump/Pence (R)
4 (15.4%)

Total Members Voted: 26

Voting closed: November 23, 2020, 09:01:44 PM

AZZERAE

Quote from: Juan on July 27, 2020, 01:14:58 PM
Whitley sounded as though he’s in the running last night. He stopped in the middle of answering a question and Knapp had to remind him of what he was talking about.

Cool. New Whitley!

AZZERAE

Quote from: pate on July 27, 2020, 12:13:19 PM
AZZERAE, old fiend! Are you interested in joining my new American Foreign Legion to help us fix some shit? We would love to have you on board!



I like that Gadsen Flag of yours;  "SHUT UP YA DWEEB":  it would make an excellent battle banner.  Sure to incite our enemies into frenzied bouts of misdirected, lashing and un-strategic movement on the field of battle.  If you wish, after you have secured all the available multi-votes in your immediate area, you should begin the steady march northwards and conquer the entire continent!

Organize your militia, I will refer to it as the American Foreign Legion II Corps, SA.  It will have a storied and bloody history, I can see it now!

Wonderful!

Thank you in advance!  It is an honor to serve.

pate/Antifa K. Dubb 2020
"We are going to fuck some ass"


Sure, I'll bite. Null the wire transfer, and instead get this Monkey off my back (and by Monkey, I mean Rabbit).

pate

Quote from: AZZERAE on July 28, 2020, 07:18:36 AM
Sure, I'll bite. Null the wire transfer, and instead get this Monkey off my back (and by Monkey, I mean Rabbit).

I am not quite sure what you mean by that;  welcome aboard, AZZERAE!  If this Monkey/Rabbit is a member of the campaign team in some capacity, I would like to remind you and everyone else that the back-stabbing, pay-back and jostling for power are not to begin until after the first 100 days of Making America Pate Again activities are concluded.

I urge you and this Monkey/Rabbit to fix that shit amongst yourselves.

AZZERAE I thank you in advance!  It is an honor to serve.

Moving right along to the Terrible Tuesday business at hand (I also formally conclude Monday business, or table it as appropriate);  today in The People's Free Democratic Republic of pate, I was fulfilling one of my many Unanimously Elected Dictatorial For Life duties of basic Lawn maintenance.  I try to spend an hour each day doing this with my own hands, it is my way of showing my people that I care about our land and that even I must toil in the fields.  Though it may be largely symbolic, it seems to help calm my people;  they enjoy lazing about getting in the way of the path of the reel mower, or indelicately pooping in a place I have not yet mown causing me to pause and fix that shit.

This time I usually spend in thought, allowing my mind to wander making grandiose plans, devious schemes or even updating the mental list of shit that needs fixing in the day ahead.  This is relaxing to me.  When I assume my duties this coming January at the White House, I intend to "adopt" a small part of the grounds where I can continue this practice in my new temporary home.  I will mow, tend, and garden this small spot for one hour each day;  I will lovingly care for it as it will have been placed in my trust to Make It Pate Again.   Upon my retirement I will return this small plot to the care of my people.  Probably the White House grounds staff, in any case;  while I sit in the Oval Office only I will be the one to maintain that area.

It will be a symbol of my short-lived Presidency, one would only need to look at it and see if I am allowed the time to manage it properly;  the weediness and unkempt state of it (if present) will be a solemn reminder of the shit that needs fixing.  On the other hand, it may be well kept, neat and orderly;  again a symbol of the vast amounts of shit that has been fixed!

Part of my Make America Pate Again plan is to officially encourage my people to have a small lawn, garden, or bonsai container plant if the acreage is limited.  We will encourage my people to spend some small amount of time in that place, whether it be active tending of the thing;  or quiet contemplation of its beauty.  Of course, we will want my people to think while they are doing this thing about the shit they might fix on that day.

Alternately, my people can do what-ever they wish:  it will still be America.  Freedom, and the freedom of fixing shit are open to all.

We may have to flesh out this idea a little further as it seems to have the taint of patchouli hippie-shit, I would have that fixed.

Thank you in advance!  It is an honor to serve.

pate/K_Dubb 2020
"We are going to fix this shit"


WOTR

Quote from: pate on July 28, 2020, 11:57:30 AM
I am not quite sure what you mean by that;  welcome aboard, AZZERAE!  If this Monkey/Rabbit is a member of the campaign team in some capacity, I would like to remind you and everyone else that the back-stabbing, pay-back and jostling for power are not to begin until after the first 100 days of Making America Pate Again activities are concluded.

I urge you and this Monkey/Rabbit to fix that shit amongst yourselves.

AZZERAE I thank you in advance!  It is an honor to serve.

Moving right along to the Terrible Tuesday business at hand (I also formally conclude Monday business, or table it as appropriate);  today in The People's Free Democratic Republic of pate, I was fulfilling one of my many Unanimously Elected Dictatorial For Life duties of basic Lawn maintenance.  I try to spend an hour each day doing this with my own hands, it is my way of showing my people that I care about our land and that even I must toil in the fields.  Though it may be largely symbolic, it seems to help calm my people;  they enjoy lazing about getting in the way of the path of the reel mower, or indelicately pooping in a place I have not yet mown causing me to pause and fix that shit.

This time I usually spend in thought, allowing my mind to wander making grandiose plans, devious schemes or even updating the mental list of shit that needs fixing in the day ahead.  This is relaxing to me.  When I assume my duties this coming January at the White House, I intend to "adopt" a small part of the grounds where I can continue this practice in my new temporary home.  I will mow, tend, and garden this small spot for one hour each day;  I will lovingly care for it as it will have been placed in my trust to Make It Pate Again.   Upon my retirement I will return this small plot to the care of my people.  Probably the White House grounds staff, in any case;  while I sit in the Oval Office only I will be the one to maintain that area.

It will be a symbol of my short-lived Presidency, one would only need to look at it and see if I am allowed the time to manage it properly;  the weediness and unkempt state of it (if present) will be a solemn reminder of the shit that needs fixing.  On the other hand, it may be well kept, neat and orderly;  again a symbol of the vast amounts of shit that has been fixed!

Part of my Make America Pate Again plan is to officially encourage my people to have a small lawn, garden, or bonsai container plant if the acreage is limited.  We will encourage my people to spend some small amount of time in that place, whether it be active tending of the thing;  or quiet contemplation of its beauty.  Of course, we will want my people to think while they are doing this thing about the shit they might fix on that day.

Alternately, my people can do what-ever they wish:  it will still be America.  Freedom, and the freedom of fixing shit are open to all.

We may have to flesh out this idea a little further as it seems to have the taint of patchouli hippie-shit, I would have that fixed.

Thank you in advance!  It is an honor to serve.

pate/K_Dubb 2020
"We are going to fix this shit"


I think I finally burst out in laughter around the description of the significance of the state the small plot of land is kept in...

Somewhere it this post are the seeds of a one man play. Of course, the one man play can have no more than a one man audience during "these unprecedented times." As such, perhaps it is not worth developing and performing until we find a vaccine...  :(

pate

Quote from: WOTR on July 29, 2020, 01:17:28 AM
I think I finally burst out in laughter around the description of the significance of the state the small plot of land is kept in...

Somewhere it this post are the seeds of a one man play. Of course, the one man play can have no more than a one man audience during "these unprecedented times." As such, perhaps it is not worth developing and performing until we find a vaccine...  :(

Well, I figure that I can have informal meetings while I mow or pull weeds.  I normally do such things in a speedo and flip-flops, but I suppose I could wear a pair of regular shorts for decorum's sake.  It may place undue stress on the Secret Service, I suppose.  Really it doesn't have to be a set time of the day;  if I am in town and not out fixing shit OCONUS or CONUS I think I should do that:  much more satisfying than a round of golf.  Although... I could put a little putt-putt course on the grounds.  A windmill, a lighthouse and perhaps a mechanical Baba Yaga hut;  all par threes.  That would be cool.  I would love to host Kim Jong, whomever is in charge of China, and the Iranian guy;  and  challenge them to a round of putt-putt.  If weather allows I would, of course, be shirtless.

As to the one man play idea;  after my first 100 days of Making America Pate Again, I am sure there will be plenty of writers, biographers and playwrights that will wish to make legends of the "Great Shit Fixing of 2021."

As for vaccines, I like the "herd immunity" idea, personally.

Thank you for the kind words, WOTR!  How goes the formation of the American Foreign Legion I Corps, CAN?  I am sure the ranks are swelling with many tasty Canadians;  you are welcome to recruit from other countries, to include the USA, as well.

This is not the shit I logged in to fix today, however!

Late last night;  I decided that one of the many things to fix was the absence of Modern Day Dueling.  This fits in with my three part plan to re-establish Rule of Law And Ordering of Days, as part of the first 100 days of Making America Pate Again presidency.

The details can be worked out later:  the rough Idea dovetails nicely with the official policy of encouraging individuals, localities, and municipalities to fix their own shit without burdening the courts, law enforcement and legislators at the Federal level with unnecessary decisions, arrests, and laws.  This will not be a free-for-all "shoot 'em in the streets" Wild West duel, but more an Artistic declaration of honor being sullied, satisfaction for heinous acts or common insults that cannot be calmly brushed aside.

Notification, and issuance of the formal challenge shall be posted in the appropriate public square with names named, acts described and request for abject apologies demanded.  Seconds, uninterested judges and weapons of appropriate antiquity, or reasonable facsimile thereof, will be required if the dueling parties refuse to resolve the affair amicably.  I will probably need to appoint a Dueling Czar by Presidential decree for this one. 

I wish to remind everyone that the Dueling Czar seat is now open at my banquet table:  only a vote or multi-vote is required to secure this plum.

This will fit into the re-establishment of Cruel and/or Unusual Punishments initiative:  If a Law is broken that is not fixed at a lower level by the individuals involved, the Law Enforcement and Judicial process may (at the Attorney General's discretion, be it Local, State or Federal in scope) be initiated to emphasize the Necessary and/or Normal Punishments to be imposed on the guilty.  This will provide an object, abject and enduring Lesson on the Obeisance to the Law.

This brings me to the last, and final part of fixing the Rule of Law shit.  It is my opinion that the amount of Laws present in this country at all levels, in particular the Federal Level, are burdensome, complex and in some cases contradictory.  In order to fix that shit, and in keeping with Big Chicken's ideas on Morals and Decency;  I feel that a more simplistic approach should be tried.

The Idea is to utilize the "Ten Commandments" in conjunction with "The Seven Deadly Sins" to figure out which of the original ten are outdated.  I firmly believe that there is a specific Commandment that corresponds to each one of the seven Sins.  The remaining three, while not discarded, will perhaps be understood as given and perhaps de-emphasized.  Of course, I am no theologian, so I would of course seek out such to help me in the fixing of that shit.

In this manner I hope to completely restructure the Rule of Law in America;  it may not be a good plan, but perhaps it will work well enough for my people to look back and say, "Yes, this is better than it was."

I am loathe at this time to make this an Official Campaign Promise.  I would heed the counsel of my many astute advisors before "pulling the trigger" on this idea.

Thank you in advance!  It is an honor to serve.

pate/K_Dubb 2020
"We are going to fix this shit"

 

GravitySucks

Sir;

If we see shit that can be fixed now, should we fix that shit and let Trump take credit for it, or should we let that shit stew and add it to the low hanging fruit shit list?

pate

Quote from: GravitySucks on July 29, 2020, 06:00:43 PM
Sir;

If we see shit that can be fixed now, should we fix that shit and let Trump take credit for it, or should we let that shit stew and add it to the low hanging fruit shit list?

I prefer to fix shit now, if I am able.  For instance, I have assembled the ingredients to prepare some Jambalaya, except I prefer to have fresh thyme and not dried thyme.  My dogs, I think, did something to my patch of thyme last year.  Perhaps they peed on it?  I do not know, what I do know is that I seem always to have a lack of thyme.  I planted thyme seeds this spring, all over the place;  shade, sun and containers.  Not one sprout, anywhere.  One thing I have learned from this ongoing shit;  you really shouldn't buy thyme.

As to Trump taking credit for our great ideas:  well, that doesn't bother me, as long as the shit gets fixed.  I would much rather remain Duly Elected By Unanimous Agreement Dictator For Life of the People's Free Democratic Republic of pate, than feel like my unique set of skills honed over a lifetime are required as President of the United States of America.

I just want this shit fixed, as quickly as possible;  so that I may get back to my great many pet projects.  I can Make America Pate Again from the comfort of the PFDRP, as easily as I can as POTUS.

I hope that answers your questions, SecSpace GravitySucks?

By-the-by:  How are those Ion Engines coming along?  I also want to look into the development of the Idea of a "Solar Sail":  I think that would give the Space Navy some street credibility among the Blue Water Navy folks.

You see, I need a cheap and plentiful supply of various metals that need not necessarily be precious if we had full and total access to space.  This is one of my "pet" projects I am engaged in that predates my run for the Presidency, but runs concurrently with it;  on a "Need To Know" basis.  I like to have options...

I have said too much!

Thank you in advance!  It is an honor to serve.

pate/K_Dubb 2020
"We are going to fix this shit""


Jackstar

Quote from: pate on July 29, 2020, 07:19:22 PM
I prefer to fix shit now, if I am able.

NIGGA, YOU HAVE HAD AMPLE TIME. YOU AND YOUR ACCESS CODES TO YOUR MEATSUIT HAVE BEEN PROPERLY AND LAWFULLY REQUISITIONED BY THE STAR LEAGUE, YOUR MOMMY, AND YOUR DADDY. GENESIS CODES 41-872-55-77-0069-TAU.

NOW, GET TO WORK. SQUEEZE AND PURGE. PROTOCOL SEVEN. ANY COMPLAINTS--SEND THEM TO ME.

YES, I AM FINE, THANK YOU FOR ASKING. SPARE THE ONES WITH GENETIC INTEGRITY--ASSIMILATE THE REST. ZEPHYR COMMAND: END OF LINE.


SEND NO MICROPHONES, PUNYLINGS. YOU HAD YOUR CHANCES. NOW, BUCKLE UP, EMBRACE YOUR KNEES, AND KISS YOUR WHINGING MEWLING LOATHSOME ASSES GOODBYE, BECAUSE: it is on. IT IS ACTUALLY ON, MANNEQUINS.

Jackstar

Quote from: pate on July 29, 2020, 07:19:22 PM
I prefer to fix shit now, if I am able.

Fix my sister. I'm not asking 'please.'

Jackstar

I'm not gonna lie; things seem pretty fixed these days. Keep up the good work. We're all counting on you.

SINISTAR COUNTS SNACKS.

pate

Quote from: Jackstar on July 30, 2020, 02:52:03 PM
I'm not gonna lie; things seem pretty fixed these days. Keep up the good work. We're all counting on you.

SINISTAR COUNTS SNACKS.

"If you fix some shit correctly, people won't even notice."

Or words to that effect.

Happy Thor's Day, my fiend.

Does Biden have an actual  running-mate yet?  I am anxious to begin the straw poll.  July nears its ending, isn't it customary in these affairs to have the "running-mate" question settled by the conclusion of July festivities?

This shit needs fixing!

Thank you in advance!  It is an honor to serve.

pate/K_Dubb 2020
"We are going to fix this shit"

pate

Quote from: ItsOver on July 18, 2020, 08:01:46 PM
You had me at "ban most modern tv shows."  In particular, the damn awful, low IQ, leftist propganda, bitch populated daytime shows should be outlawed and their whiny so-called hosts should be placed in chains and forced to watch non-stop episodes of "Black Sheep Squadron."

ItsOver, albrecht recommended you for both Chairman of the Federal Communications Commision and/or President of the Public Broadcasting Service.

I can definitely make the Chairmanship of the FCC happen;  but President of the misnamed Public Broadcasting Service will be a bit more problematic.  This PBS shit definitely needs fixing;  the waters get murky on how best to do that.  I hope my AG Juan has some insights on how to approach that difficult chestnut while maintaining the core Make America Pate Again values.

In short, ItsOver:  Do you desire a seat with an unclaimed plum at my banquet table?  You would be a very welcome addition to the steadily growing team!

If I have somehow overlooked a request by yourself for a "plum," I would like to offer an abject apogee for the oversight!  Things have been quite hectic lately with the making of various lists;  one of which I hope will have your name on it.

I digress from this Friday's Campaign goal, which I have numbered "213," by the way.

Today I would like to get back to the basic, original and founding Idea(s) behind the Make America Pate Again Campaign:

The Bureau of Land Management and how to deal with various self-proclaimed Protectorates, Reservations and Exclaves have been prominent in the news cycles for the past month or so.  This is precisely type of shit we want to fix!  Initially, my idea was to gain official recognition of the various independent city/states within the contiguous United States of America, with eventual formalization of State-hood and varying degrees of autonomy.

I thought it would be a great idea to begin this process with the official recognition of the sovereign state of "The People's Free Democratic Republic of pate;"  it was my feeling that the PFDRP's wise leadership model would provide an excellent example to follow for the other many localities desiring official recognition.

The Bureau of Land Management has the historical mission of seeing to these types of city/states, and perhaps this issue also falls under the aegis of the Shadow Government (which will have a BLM of its own, if not already present at the conclusion of the first 100 days plan).  The Shadow Government correspondent Directorship position will be Code-named "Argus Panoptes;"  this I feel is august enough to carry the aegis entrusted to fix that shit.

I am intentionally vague on this particular issue, as I do not wish to telegraph our intentions to our political enemies too clearly;  however some sort of communication must occur in the open until such time as proper PMs functionality is restored here at the online campaign headquarters.  I urge every one on board with the Make America Pate Again initiative to maintain CommSec as best as they are able.

I also note that this page of the thread is conspicuously lacking in muzaks.  I call on everyone to assist in the fixing of that shit!  Here is my brief contribution which I believe to be quite topical;  it will be placed on the appropriate list:

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=SBe1hwg7V-M

This message may be cross-referenced under the "JEWELED ALIEN," "TRIUMVIRATE ARCH," "OVER ARCHON," and "PLANK, DON'T RUN" lists, for those following along at home!

Cheers!

Thank you in advance!  It is an honor to serve.

pate/K_Dubb 2020
"We are going to fix this shit"

pate

I have little that I wish to add on this fine Saturday.  So, in lieu of any new initiatives that are unripened at this time;  I shall today list the shit that needs fixing.  This list is not exhaustive, complete or even accurate.  Barring any unintentional omissions, it will give a reasonable glimpse of where we stand today.

Without further adieu, and in no particular order:

Bronze Elk Statues Everywhere, Modern Day Dueling, "No Nude Taxes," Aesop's and Awesomeness List of Crunchy and Catchy Commercials, Plum Wine Initiative/National Plum Wine Strategic Reserve, Thursdays Into Fridays, FSS Three Day Weekend, Mondays Policy, Fix Terrible Tuesdays, Make Dad Smile on Wednesdays, Book of Laughter, Fix Daylight Savings Time, "Cruel and Unusual Punishments"/Necessary and Normal Punishments, "Send Dave To Mars," Don't Be Stupid, "No Fatties," Only Good Music, "Dog" Petting, and "Beer" Drinking.

This information is to be classified under "FOCUO" (For Official Campaign Use Only);  the designated operational name for this list was given yesterday: "{OperNommen}" is also classified with the list below it as "FOCUO."

I believe that is all I feel comfortable with saying at this time, I will now take off my Campaign Manager Hat.

Have a great Saturday, my people!

Thank you in advance!  It is an honor to serve.

pate/K_Dubb 2020
"We are going to fix this shit"

WOTR

Quote from: Jackstar on July 29, 2020, 07:37:03 PM
Fix my sister. I'm not asking 'please.'
Clarification required. Are you requesting a return of the eugenics program?*

*Asking for a friend.

WOTR

Quote from: pate on July 29, 2020, 05:03:32 PM
Thank you for the kind words, WOTR!  How goes the formation of the American Foreign Legion I Corps, CAN?  I am sure the ranks are swelling with many tasty Canadians;  you are welcome to recruit from other countries, to include the USA, as well.

Thank-you for thinking to check in on the program. I know that you are busy between your present duties with the PFDROP and preparing to run the U.S. So far, I am up to a good size coup. I would still prefer to have more people in the media to gloss over any atrocities that may occur during the "peaceful" transition of power- but I'm sure that we can persuade them to print the "correct" stories.

I will be honest... I am a little concerned with your choice in running mate. He only checks off one of the boxes required in today's political climate. I would be more comfortable if you could find a black, short, angry immigrant lesbian or trans woman rather than a white gay man. I know that Biden is likely interviewing all of America's angry gay minorities as we speak. But I honestly don't think that he will believe that America is progressive enough to demand a trans VP yet- and you should have a good selection.

This is not to say that Dubb is not the best person for the job. Just that he has the liability of also being the best "man" for the job. As a left coast loonie, he should have enough white guilt and gender shame to step aside and allow a minority the opportunity.


chefist

Was that Kdubb at the Phoenix protest recently?


K_Dubb

Quote from: WOTR on August 01, 2020, 11:28:34 AM
This is not to say that Dubb is not the best person for the job. Just that he has the liability of also being the best "man" for the job. As a left coast loonie, he should have enough white guilt and gender shame to step aside and allow a minority the opportunity.

I already tried to give it to whoozit but he demurred.  If there are any dusky midgets of indeterminate gender with one of those rare chromosomal abnormalities available I am sure zxhe would be a wonderful candidate, but at this point I am standing as VP by general acclamation.


K_Dubb

Quote from: chefist on August 01, 2020, 11:33:31 AM
Was that Kdubb at the Phoenix protest recently?



I think that is Portland but no, the butt is too big to be mine  :(  effective strategy for when I get tongue-tied in the VP debate, though.

pate

Quote from: WOTR on August 01, 2020, 11:28:34 AM
... I am a little concerned with your choice in running mate. He only checks off one of the boxes required in today's political climate. I would be more comfortable if you could find a black, short, angry immigrant lesbian or trans woman rather than a white gay man. I know that Biden is likely interviewing all of America's angry gay minorities as we speak. But I honestly don't think that he will believe that America is progressive enough to demand a trans VP yet- and you should have a good selection.

This is not to say that Dubb is not the best person for the job. Just that he has the liability of also being the best "man" for the job. As a left coast loonie, he should have enough white guilt and gender shame to step aside and allow a minority the opportunity.

This is sort of an odd political strategy, since at the time of my decision to run;  Biden had not yet selected his running-mate, I figured the best move was to counter-balance Pence's "white-mannishness" against Biden's provisional "progressive womannish" Veep pick.  Now Biden is boxed in, his political enemies have chosen their Vice-Presidents already, so Biden is sort of forced to do the "woman-of-color" thing, just to stand out.   It is not quite that simple, however, since I selected a "gay man" to run with me, Biden is forced to up the ante or look like a copy-cat.  He now has to find a trans-woman-of-color that is also Progressive;  I am not aware that such a choice is open to him.

He loses ground in the early game.  It is delicious to watch him fumble about for a wet-wipe with which to clean himself up, and try to make a dry and confident stand against both Trump and myself.  The Glory!  I count this as coup, or "first-blood" to me.

Quote from: K_Dubb on August 01, 2020, 12:48:48 PM
I already tried to give it to whoozit but he demurred.  If there are any dusky midgets of indeterminate gender with one of those rare chromosomal abnormalities available I am sure zxhe would be a wonderful candidate, but at this point I am standing as VP by general acclamation.



Dear K_Dubb, have you not already hired an actor to stand-in for you in this campaign?  Come on, this is the intar-tubes:  no-one knows what you really look like!  Find a dusky midget of indeterminate gender that has some acting skills, hire them with a contract and strict NDA!  Boom, there is our October Surprise if Biden manages to extricate himself from the political pile of shit he has stepped in!  I would not have that shit fixed, by the by!  Let it "stew."

<evil sumptuous laughter>

Thank you in advance!  It is an honor to serve.

pate/K_Dubb 2020
"We are going to fix this shit"



chefist

Quote from: K_Dubb on August 01, 2020, 12:53:02 PM
I think that is Portland but no, the butt is too big to be mine  :(  effective strategy for when I get tongue-tied in the VP debate, though.

;D

Big Chicken

Prophet Incarnate pate and Cherubim K_Dubb,

The second target for the newly formed Order of the Holy Sepulchre of New Jerusalem on the Ohio has been identified and plans for its forceful acquisition are being made. Destination: Rome, Italy.  Target: The Finger of Doubting Thomas!  The finger that actually penetrated the Son of God lies in the Basilica of the Holy Cross in Rome.  This vital relic must be liberated from the Papists and returned to New Jerusalem on the Ohio where it will become an heirloom of the pate the Prophet. Fear not Prophet Incarnate, Fist and Faith, your West Virginians will not fail you!


pate

Quote from: Big Chicken on August 01, 2020, 05:18:33 PM
Prophet Incarnate pate and Cherubim K_Dubb,

The second target for the newly formed Order of the Holy Sepulchre of New Jerusalem on the Ohio has been identified and plans for its forceful acquisition are being made. Destination: Rome, Italy.  Target: The Finger of Doubting Thomas!  The finger that actually penetrated the Son of God lies in the Basilica of the Holy Cross in Rome.  This vital relic must be liberated from the Papists and returned to New Jerusalem on the Ohio where it will become an heirloom of the pate the Prophet. Fear not Prophet Incarnate, Fist and Faith, your West Virginians will not fail you!



I would hire some Swiss mercenaries to infiltrate the Holy See, and quietly "liberate" the thing.  It is my understanding that there is some difficulty in the Vatican of finding guards of the appropriate provenance.  Hmm, I must think on this.

Big Chicken, earlier you mentioned a certain individual that I would know of his whereabouts;  I do not like the sound of this man's name:

Quote from: Big Chicken on July 19, 2020, 07:54:55 AM
...Nehemiah Scudder...

He is mentioned a few times in some obscure annals of old, but there is little solid information about this one.  I find this individual to be of interest, perhaps I should direct AG Juan to look into possible charges for crimes against the future state?  Is this one in Ohio or West Virginia?

In any case, there is I believe another New Jerusalem (probably a fake one) nearby to me in Independence, MO.



Local legend has it that the spiral on top is a "Jesus Slide" that the Saviour will elegantly descend on when He returns.

I find all of this very confusing.  I always figured the New Jerusalem would be in the Ozarks or "Aux Arc" region, probably in the mountains of Arkansas somewhere.  Pretty cool country down there, although there is a place called "Devil's Den" that sounds a bit off-putting.

Anyhow;  I see that much progress is being made against Sloth, Gluttony and Wrath;  but what of the other four?  I think Lust would be an interesting one to deal with, but I really don't pay that much attention to the outside world, so I am not sure if that one is a big issue these days?

I have, once again, said too much!

Thank you in advance!  It is an honor to serve.

I Ponder...

pate/K_Dubb 2020
"We are going to fix this shit"

Big Chicken

Prophet Incarnate pate,

You ask several questions.  Important ones!   

Have no fear in regards to Lust. It shall soon be eradicated under your firm hand [except of course for your role as The Great Inseminator of the Vestal Virgins, which is another matter].   Here in the Bureau of Moral Panic and Remediation of Indecency we have studied the Lust issue closely and have come to the conclusion that old ways are best here.   Hark! We put a new shine on and ancient concept.   Behold  "Prophet pate's Pear of Persuasion"



It is incredibly versatile with a devastating triple orifice capability. Those found to be violating decency shall howl from the agony of the Pear!

     

Big Chicken

Other anti-Lust methods are also being considered.  Have no fear!  The Plague of Coomers shall be eradicated.  Behold the Prophet pate's Honey Trap!


Big Chicken

Prophet Incarnate pate,

Regarding Nehemiah Scudder.  As you intimated, some had predicted that he was to be the last President of the United States. Preparations were made for what should have been a Most Glorious Ascension!




In the end he failed.  He would not grasp the nettle and do that which is needed to be done!  When put to the Asp he failed the test at the last. 
A test that you as Prophet Incarnate shall pass with ease!  You shall be the final President.  Oh Glory Be!  The line of the Prophets shall rule forever more.



paladin1991

Quote from: Big Chicken on August 01, 2020, 08:11:27 PM
Other anti-Lust methods are also being considered.  Have no fear!  The Plague of Coomers shall be eradicated.  Behold the Prophet pate's Honey Trap!



lol, what movie is that?

Big Chicken

Quote from: paladin1991 on August 01, 2020, 08:32:45 PM
lol, what movie is that?

Well it is not a movie of course. It is the future!  However, if it was a movie it would be called Grim Prairie Tales



Repent Coomer!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Big Chicken

The Prophet was on fire at the latest campaign rally!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!


paladin1991

Quote from: Big Chicken on August 01, 2020, 08:46:51 PM
Well it is not a movie of course. It is the future!  However, if it was a movie it would be called Grim Prairie Tales



Repent Coomer!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!


Danke

chefist

This might be the most fucked up thread I've ever read... thanks

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