BellGab.com Archive

Quote from: steelbot on December 10, 2013, 03:15:10 PM
Clamsnacks is the name of my band! (on Rockband anyways)...because Who doesn't like a good clamsnack 

If you want your band to take off, make sure you always spell it with a capital "K"


ClamsnacK


gonna be huge, I tell ya

I can remember getting really pissed off at Ft. Rock for something, he got caught bullshitting all of us in a bad way, but I can't remember what exactly happened.

some of his shit he said was funny, though.

Quote from: bluth co. on December 09, 2013, 02:24:31 PM
u7 radio is not the greatest but i've been listening to artbellalways for a week or so and it seems good so far, although i have heard some shows that were not hosted by art bell on there, in fact i'm pretty sure i remember hearing a noory broadcast at one point so yeah it might not be for everyone.

I heard noory on there too, changed channel immediately

Quote from: zeebo on December 08, 2013, 11:34:48 PM
imagine thinking just for a split second that it might be a real thing,

Before anybody goes stealing Danny Glover's underwear, wearing it, getting it in a bunch and subsequently selling it on the EBAY, I had better point something out: Horse Dick is a very real foodstuff item. I made sure to research this briefly before referencing it as a topping. Unappetizing, however it does not sit alone on the list of edible cacks.

Warning: There are offensive pictures on this buzzfeed article:

http://www.buzzfeed.com/mjs538/penises-you-can-eat




I'm gettin too old for this shit.

Quote from: zeebo on December 08, 2013, 11:34:48 PM
Ok there were some other good entries, and thank you to all who played, but I have to give the triple smiley award to guildnav on this.  It just has a nice ring to it,ya know?  You can imagine a pizza order-taker thinking just for a split second that it might be a real thing, like some kind of regional specialty, before the look of shock and confusion follows.   

I WON SOMETHING TODAY!

Quote from: Yorkshire pud on December 08, 2013, 01:08:36 PM
Your private life is your own concern.

Quote from: ziznak on December 08, 2013, 12:02:57 PM
interesting I thought Ice Cream and Clams... weird but maybe that was the point

MARSHMALLOWS AND HORSEDICK!

Roofless and toofless should make the thread

"We be lovin' Art Bell"

Someone spray painted "we be luvin tacos" on a hauling rig that's always parked by the taqueria over here. Someone also spray painted the row of power meters, each with one letter, C U N and T.

I'll never forget the time Mandela bought the ring anonymously for that veteran. What a guy. I heard his car didn't catch fire right away either, sheeeit. Steve McQueen was a better driver anyways. RIP HB Halicki.

Quote from: IcicleTrepan on December 04, 2013, 07:19:43 PM
Love Dark Weekend.  Can't wait to see what's next.

Quote from: jazmunda on December 04, 2013, 05:29:00 PM
I definitely was. I've even got a "The Bellgab 956" tattoo on my butt.

Anyone else miss the blue gator guy?

i hate dat mufukka

Quote from: Luna on December 03, 2013, 11:29:56 PM
I think I have read the equivilent of maybe 100 pages... I've been to lazy to go through it all..

barely vaguely lazy.

Quote from: Luna on December 03, 2013, 11:24:37 PM
Well, I've been shy my whole life. It's difficult to not let it happen. Luckily I'm not nearly so shy online. 

To each his own, after all, I'm not one to bang it before I try it.

Quote from: Luna on December 03, 2013, 10:45:35 PM
  Out of all the rabid comments here, you say that 'I' make it unloveable?? ;__;
Sorry for being shy with a lisp! *π*~

Don't be sorry, just don't let it happen again.

Quote from: Luna on December 03, 2013, 08:58:08 PM
Hmm.. mine is a mix between slurred speech and stutters with minimal eye contact. I hardly ever update my facebook. If I had a smart phone, I might add more selfies, but luckily, I don't. ^_^

This is why we are barely making vaguely lovable. You scared Art Bell away again. Now it will be another month.

Just burn my hand on a fuckin candle,

Thanks,

G SHIT

Power just went out. The power company days it's going to be three hours. I have a full backup battery and a lot of gigs of old Art Bell shows. Listening to May 28 1997, thinking about changing to something else.

Thank god I have something to listen to, and beer and reefer. I needed a break from transferring stems on the laptop anyways.

Let me know if you have any recommendations for fucked up shows to listen to that I might not have heard a billion times. Thanks,

G SHIT

Quote from: steelbot on December 03, 2013, 03:51:27 PM
Did You just quote Hackers ? LOL

Nice catch, you must be elite.

Colon Klappernek bought some toy

Quote from: zeebo on December 02, 2013, 05:57:46 PM
I can already see the future flying pizza wars with drone hackers & rival pizza gangs battling for domination of the pies in the skies.

Mess with the best, die like the rest.

Quote from: tertiaryimam on December 02, 2013, 07:47:23 PM
[attachimg=1]

Yeah but that's not Gnoory it's just a wax figure...

Quote from: McPhallus on December 02, 2013, 07:15:01 PM
It's too bad Hal 9000 is no longer here... If he were, we'd all know exactly who she was within a few days of that site going up.

this is true.

Hey didn't you used to be a banana? (edit: I mean your avatar)

Quote from: DesertFox on December 02, 2013, 06:55:13 AM
Personally I loved the Art Bell Sirius shows--it didn't have anything to do with believing them or not, back then or now.  Some stuff I think is possible and some pure nonsense but it was still entertaining with a great host.  And Art still had it on Sirius.

I agree.

And how am I not going to steal flying pizza, and how much trouble will I be in really? Will the drone ever come back to my house with drunk schoolmates and key my car for not tipping? I'll kick his ass!

Quote from: Ravenna on November 30, 2013, 09:01:29 PM
I love this show.

(Warning:  this guy is obsessed with the Knights Templar).

I saw a few at the beginning of the year, good show.

Quote from: SixWeekTenure on December 01, 2013, 11:55:01 PM
I would never say 90's Art Bell didn't have a flawed show. Just the other day I listened to the Harlot episode (23/10/1997) and found a dreadful interview with a musician and multiple ads for gold (just like George today) or health products as well as stupid callers that interrupt the guest, things I tend to forget over the years when the highlights remain. Later on when he would pop in on Coast to Coast on a semi-regular basis he was tired, short-tempered and not fun to listen to whatsoever. As I said before, if he returns I hope it's with good intentions and he's there not to stress over call volume but only tries to put on an interesting and thought provoking program.

Wow, I liked that episode a lot. The "dreadful" interview was with Michael Holm of Cusco. That show was a classic, in my book.

Quote from: Yorkshire pud on December 01, 2013, 11:25:35 AM

I remember that was shown on UK news when it came out in the US.. Clinton era wasn't it? I know someone who was involved in the outline of the video, she lives in GA.


Anti-Drug Frying Pan Smash PSA - Rachel Leigh Cook

Wow, I forgot about that one with the smashing plates. That was a little later than the first one I remember, the original was just an adult male cooking eggs and saying they were fried like a drugged brain.

Why is an alarm clock going "off" when it actually turns on?

To go off in this sense is related to the expression to set off, meaning to start or to be started. It implies that the subject was in a state of rest, then moved off from that state into action. The phrasal verb to go on already has the meaning of to continue

If you mated a bull dog and a shitsu, would it be called a bullshit?

Jim Carey Sucks.com

If an ambulance is on its way to save someone, and it runs someone over, does it stop to help them?

They will dispatch another unit and tend to the most pressing issue?

Why is Grape Nuts cereal called that, when it contains neither grapes, nor nuts?

It originally used grape sugar and had a nutty flavor. Trade commission protects the naming.

If Jimmy cracks corn and no one cares, why is there a song about him?

"Blue Tail Fly," "De Blue Tail Fly," or "Jimmy Crack Corn" is thought to be a blackface minstrel song, first performed in the United States in the 1840s. It remains a popular children's song today.

Over the years, many lyrical variants have appeared, but the basic narrative remains intact. On the surface, the song is a black slave's lament over his white master's death. The song, however, has a subtext of rejoicing over that death, and possibly having contributed to it by deliberate negligence. Most versions at least nod to idiomatic African English, though sanitized, Standard English versions now predominate.

Why is it called a "drive through" if you have to stop?

You don't stop and eat, that would be a drive-in, you have to drive through. Or I'll get pissed and honk.

Why does mineral water that has "trickled through mountains for centuries" go out of date next year?

So you buy more. Also, it's the law in most states that all food products, including water, must have an expiration date.

Why are Softballs hard?

Compare one to a baseball.

Do the minutes on the movie boxes include the previews, credits, and special features, or just the movie itself?

There is usually a feature length and a total runtime.

If the professor on Giligan's Island can make a radio out of coconut, why can't he fix a hole in a boat?

He had no skills in boatbuilding, was 1000 miles away from civilization, and an amateur repair would have been too risky. He did try many times to fix the boat.

Why do people point to their wrist when asking for the time, but people don't point to their crotch when they ask where the bathroom is?

Feel free to start the trend.

Why is an electrical outlet called an outlet when you plug things into it? Shouldn't it be called an inlet.

It puts out power, it doesn't take anything "in" from your appliances.

Why do we scrub Down and wash Up?

Scrub your feet and then your face? No.

Why does Goofy stand erect while Pluto remains on all fours? They're both dogs!

Because Walt Disney was a satanic trickster.

Can blind people see their dreams?

Not if blind by birth, they hear their dreams.

Why do most cars have speedometers that go up to at least 130 when you legally can't go that fast on any road?
Marketing.

Why do they call it "getting your dog fixed" if afterwards it doesn't work anymore?

Fixes the problem of your dog having to pay child support.

Why do they call it taking a dump? Shouldn't it be leaving a dump?

Taking the dump you're carrying and releasing it.

Where in the nursery rhyme does it say humpty dumpty is an egg?

It doesn't have to!

Why do they sterilize needles for lethal injections?

They could use an old one with aids and hepatitis on it, but what if the guy administering it gets poked?

Why do banks leave the door wide open but the pens chained to the counter?

Because the dumb cows filtering into the place will steal the stupid pens before the first hour is up.

If electricity comes from electrons, does morality come from morons?

Often, yes!

Why does Donald Duck wear a towel when he comes out of the shower, when he doesn't usually wear any pants?
To dry off!!

How come you press harder on a remote control when you know the battery is dead?

Sounds like a personal problem.

If an orange is orange, why isn't a lime called a green or a lemon called a yellow?

The color was named after the fruit. In 1512. Look it up.

If a cat always lands on its feet, and buttered bread always lands butter side down, what would happen if you tied buttered bread on top of a cat?

Falkie will kick you and feed the cat a snack.

If the #2 pencil is the most popular, why's it still #2?

It's the lead density, silly.

What color would a smurf turn if you choked it?

Pissed.

Where's the egg in an egg roll?

They are dipped in an egg wash before frying.

Why aren't blue berries blue?

They are!! I'm partially colorblind and I can see that.

Where is the lead in a lead pencil?

In 1565 there was a huge graphite deposit found in England. They realized it was perfect for marking sheep and could be cut into small pieces easily. Chemistry was not well developed yet and they thought that they had found a form of lead. It was graphite. People still say lead though.


Why is Greenland called green when it is covered in ice?

It was the early Scandinavian settlers who gave the country the name Greenland. In the Icelandic sagas, it is said that the Norwegian-born Icelander Erik the Red was exiled from Iceland for murder. Along with his extended family and his thralls, he set out in ships to explore icy land known to lie to the northwest. After finding a habitable area and settling there, he named it GrÅ"nland (translated as "Greenland"), supposedly in the hope that the pleasant name would attract settlers.

The name of the country in Greenlandic (Kalaallisut) is Kalaallit Nunaat ("land of the Kalaallit"). The Kalaallit are the indigenous Greenlandic Inuit people who inhabit the country's western region.

Quote from: aldousburbank on December 01, 2013, 10:58:09 AM
I am cery cognizant of Lazy George's little feelings whenever I say he is a worthless, boring, stand-in, department store mannequin of a radio host. That's why I say it.
Questions?

Drug free America... That means they don't cost nothing, AAALRIIIIIGHT!