BellGab.com Archive

I thought that the show excelled from a technical perspective.  I don't want my next comments to detract from that.

I listened to the show later, not live, and it saddened me.

First, Falkie is obviously psychotic.  His claim that he could discover the identity of his detractors by rushing down to Apple and talking to Steve Jobs and Steve Wozniak and that they would help him to find out their IRL identities so that he could sue them was terribly sad in its pathetic self-delusion.   The man is obviously disconnected from reality, and to string him on, as the hosts did with their sniggering and leading questions to him, was indecent.

Second, after Falkie got off the phone, the hosts and guests chortled about how the parodies of Bart Ell were so amazingly accurate that one could not tell the difference between Bart Ell and Falkie.  In fact, at least one of them thought it was Falkie with a second account.  Need I remind you that Falkie thought Bart Ell's parodies were so wrong and so pejorative and unfair that he quit the site for 30 minutes.   He does not see ANY of himself in Bart Ell, but he does believe that he is part of a "family" here on bellgab.  He is probably crying this very moment in light of the knowledge that the people he believed are "family" are holding up this cruel mirror.

On the other hand, he's such an attention queen that he vocally ran roughshod over everyone else that was trying to speak, so fuck him.

Quote from: area51drone on January 07, 2014, 06:01:44 PM
You don't know how right you are.

Falkie, if I can rise above the grasping claws of the crabs in the bucket below me for a moment to actually talk about your fuckin career, I have a killer idea for your next video.  I can describe the concept in two words:

"Wrecking Ball"

I came in like a wrecking ball
Other posters always gave me love
All you wanted was to break my balls
All you ever did was wreck me
Yeah, you, you wreck me

I think everyone can figure out whom you're singing about.

You take it from here, big guy.

Quote from: area51drone on January 07, 2014, 05:39:59 PM
I made an ass out of u and me

Your most productive day in years!

Quote from: area51drone on January 07, 2014, 05:31:54 PM
Oh don't bother trying to get under my skin, I could care less.

Who says this is about you?

Quote from: area51drone on January 07, 2014, 05:13:51 PM
I PM'ed him and asked how he's doing, but I haven't heard from him today.   Kinda worried about him.  I hope he didn't feel the Gabcast was digging on him or something.

I PM'ed him and asked how he's doing.  He replied that he's fine, except that he has someone or something affixed to his buttocks by the lips and can't pry it off. 

Quote from: Yorkshire pud on January 07, 2014, 05:03:16 PM

He's also vulnerable. His friends if they don't know that yet, should.

He's also highly intelligent and knows an Internet remora when he sees one.

Quote from: area51drone on January 07, 2014, 04:01:03 PM
Have you ever sent Falkie a money order without any promise of payback just because he needed some help?  I didn't think so.   Know your damned role, Jabroni.

Falkie, have you ever heard of Melvin Dummar?

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Melvin_Dummar

The story, briefly, is thus: When Howard Hughes croaked, a will was discovered (purportedly written by Hughes), which left 1/16 of Hughes' estate to a "Melvin Du Mar."  That would be about $156 million dollars at the time.  Dummar claimed that he found Hughes by the side of a Nevada road and gave him a ride to the Sands Hotel. 

Just you wait, Falkie, as your fame and fortune rises the "Melvin Dummars" of the world are going to come out of the woodwork.  They'll remind you of some long-ago trivial favor they did for you, and guilt-trip you for a tribute.

Don't fall for it man.  To them, you're nothing but a 400 pound lottery ticket.

Quote from: area51drone on January 07, 2014, 03:34:04 PM
Falkie, how do we buy stock in your company?  I want to be part of this from the ground floor.

Falkie, as a rising public figure you will become increasingly familiar with hangers-on who only care about making money and meeting groupies.  A good rule of thumb is this: the people who speak to you frankly and forthrightly are not looking for a payout.  The overly-lipsticked fellers who constantly smooch your yaktabay are not to be trusted.

Quote from: Falkie2013 on January 07, 2014, 10:08:53 AM
Tertiaryimam is so pissed off of being accused of being Pope Francis and Piglet or whatever he's called that he told me in a lengthy phone call he's quitting posting on the board.

Wait.  What?  Someone was so offended at the thought of "being me" that they quit the site?

I guess that makes me...like the Death Star!  The ultimate power in the universe!  Point and shoot, baby!


Robot Chicken: Not Fully Operational Battle Station

Quote from: Falkie2013 on January 06, 2014, 04:31:12 PM
I do not discuss my sexual history and of late there hasn't been any not only because of my weight but because of age.

Bouncing up and down on his side vigorously, Ignatius sensed a belch rising in his throat, but when he expectantly opened his mouth he emitted only a small burp.  Still, the bouncing had some physiological effect.  Ignatius touched the small erection that was pointing downward into the sheet, held it, and lay still trying to decide what to do.

In this position, with the red flannel nightshirt around his chest and his massive stomach sagging into the mattress, he thought somewhat sadly that after eighteen years with his hobby it had become merely a mechanical physical act stripped of the flights of fancy and invention that he had once been able to bring to it.  At one time he had almost developed it into an art form, practicing the hobby with the skill and fervor of an artist and philosopher, a scholar and a gentleman.  There were still hidden in his room several accessories which he had once used, a rubber glove, a piece of fabric from a silk umbrella, a jar of Noxema.  Putting them away again after it was all over had eventually grown too depressing.

Ignatius manipulated and concentrated.  At last a vision appeared, the familiar figure of the large and devoted collie that had been his pet when he was in high school.  "Woof!"  Ignatius almost heard Rex say once again.  "Woof!  Woof!  Arf!"  Rex looked so lifelike.  One ear drooped.  He panted.  The apparition jumped over a fence and chased a stick that somehow landed in the middle of Ignatius's quilt.  As the tan and white fur grew closer, Ignatius's eyes dilated, crossed, and closed, and he lay wanly back among his four pillows, hoping that he had some Kleenex in his room.

Quote from: Falkie2013 on January 06, 2014, 04:31:12 PM
Kallell over there posted that I had an accident in my pants.
I didn't.
Period. He made it up.

Well, here is what you wrote:

Quote from: Falkie2013
As I said in an inbox to one poster :

I had 3 incidents yesterday where I coughed so hard and so much I had accidents. I told you I am still sick.
I thank someone for Immodium.

I was thinking at the time that :

" I've farted and I can't get up ! "

You can't blame people for thinking that you pooped in your pants.  Most people fart out of their bottoms and not out of their...oh, I don't really want to talk about this.  Never mind.

Quote from: Falkie2013 on January 06, 2014, 04:31:12 PM
Why bother to look for the stuff at all is my question ?
Does it serve some deeper purpose for you ? Do you get off by finding snippets to demean another poster here.

If I did, then I would have posted the dirt.  Instead, I checked into your claim about what that poster wrote and found that you clearly misrepresented what he said.  If that bothers you, tell the truth next time.

The other thing had to do with the topic of your copyright claims.  You are being grossly hypocritical about that.  Instead of owning up to it, or apologizing, or something, you attack me as if I am sort of a stalker for pointing out your dishonesty.  If you don't like it, stop doing it publicly.

Quote from: Falkie2013 on January 06, 2014, 04:31:12 PM
I do not discuss my sexual history and of late there hasn't been any not only because of my weight but because of age.

You know, I heaved a HUGE sigh of relief when I read the first clause of this sentence...and then you continued.  Wow.  Just wow.

Quote from: Laurakinch on January 06, 2014, 03:55:31 PM
OMG yes! Ignatius Reilly! You nailed it (him)!

I beg to differ.  Let's look at the facts:

Ignatius Reilly is a grotesquely-obese unemployed slob, living in a fantasy world of denial, who mooches freebies off of people when he's not engaged in one of his cockamamie money-making schemes.  He launches into ill-advised crusades against people he considers "enemies."  He is belligerent and a chronic liar.  He constantly complains about his health ("I'm susceptable to respiratory ailments among a variety of others") and warns anyone who criticizes him that he's under great stress and near the "breaking point" even though his days are mostly comprised of being a self-indulgent indolent.   

Here are a few quotes from the book:

[Ignatius, speaking with his mother]"Must you distract me at every level.  I am working on something with wonderful movie possibilities.  Highly commercial." [...] "Don't start that again, Ignatius.  I only got twenty dollars out of you this week, and I almost had to get down on my knees and beg for it.  Look at all them thing-a-ma-jigs you been buying.  Look at that movie camera you brung home today."

[The mother greets a policeman who comes to their home]  She offered Patrolman Mancuso a torn and oily cake box that looked as it it had been subjected to unusual abuse during someone's attempt to take all of the doughnuts at once.  At the bottom of the box Patrolman Mancuso found two withered pieces of doughnut out of which, jduing by their moist edges, the jelly had been sucked.  Mrs. Reilly: "Ignatius loves his doughnuts."

[Ignatius gets poked in the ear]  "I will probably spend several years at the Eye, Ear, Nose, and Throat hospital having this attended to," Ignatius said, fingering his ear..."My corps of attorneys will contact you in the morning...they are all brilliant attorneys, pillars of the community, aristocratic Creole scholars..."

[Ignatius gets chewed out by his boss] "I don't wanna hear no more bullshit about that automobile accident and your dreams and your goddam girl friend."

[Ignatius attempts to sit on a rolling stool] Ignatius squatted lower and lower until his great buttocks touched the stool, his knees reaching almost to his shoulders.  When he was at last nestled upon his perch, he looked like an eggplant balanced atop a thumb tack.  "This will never do.  I feel quite uncomfortable."

"Give it a try," Mr. Gonzales said brightly.

Propelling himself with his feet, Ignatius traveled anxiously along the side of the files until one of the miniature wheels lodged in a crack.  The stool topped slightly and then turned over, dumping Ignatius heavily to the floor.

"Oh, my God!" he bellowed.  "I think I've broken my back."

"Here," Mr. Gonzalez cried.  "I'll help you up."

"No!  You must never move a person with a broken back unless you have a stretcher.  I won't be paralyzed through your incompetence."

Well, there you have it.  Anyone who thinks this character resembles Falkie is obviously a hater and a troll.  And a schlemiel.

Quote from: Yorkshire pud on January 06, 2014, 01:48:08 PM

He's been told all this. Several times..Especially the hypocrite thing. But he blithely disregards it. For reasons only him or his therapist can explain he has this block that prevents him seeing what is bleeding obvious to almost everyone else. What is tragic is he carries on and will really hit rock bottom when the gigs don't get offered and no-one gives a shit.

It would be inhumane in my view to try and beguile him of his self-delusions about himself.  To put it in language he would understand, it would be like the Talosians requiring Vina to live with the reality of her disfigured state, rather than permitting her an illusion of beauty in the Star Trek episode "The Menagerie." 

I do wish that he would take my words to heart about the skeletons in his Internet closet and how the gossip press would eat him alive.  It would be like watching someone torn to pieces by wolves. 

Quote from: Falkie2013 on January 06, 2014, 10:47:21 AM
And ... I went on the other board I used to post on and saw what was probably yet another of the many handles my stalker on there uses. He sent me a link where one of the libs on there posted that I told people on here I was sick and coughing, etc.

Well, since you brought it up, I had a look at that site and found some interesting stuff.  In order:

1)  "One of the libs" quoted a post you made here on Bellgab, where you said you shat in your pants three times due to the severity of your coughing.  Your words, not his, and I don't know why you chose to misrepresent that.

2)  There's a political forum there where you were apparently an active poster.  It seems that you had a habit of posting up to two dozen cartoons per post, mostly anti-Obama stuff.  These were not links, but rather you cutting and pasting the picture files into your posts.  None of this fell under fair use or satirical exceptions to copyright, and you didn't credit the artists or the web sites from which you copied the cartoons.  So my question is this:  Isn't it hypocritical to complain about copyright infringement when you blatantly and shamelessly engage in it yourself when it suits you?  By the way you were apparently asked repeatedly by your friends and moderators to stop posting the cartoons but went ahead with it anyway.

3)  I'm not sure that you have thought through your plans to be a media star.  If you acquired any substantial level of fame, however fleeting, the media gossip sites will be on your past writings on the Internet like a pack of vultures on a gut wagon.  It only took me a few minutes to find some real doozies on that "other" site...stuff you wrote, not from haters and trolls, and all of it (like the stuff on this site) publicly accessible for anyone that cares to look.  It would make what you have been enduring on this thread seem like an all-you-can-eat picnic by comparison.  As Harry Truman used to say, "If you can't stay in, then get the hell out."  Word to the wise.