BellGab.com Archive

Quote from: theONE on November 21, 2016, 11:21:25 AM
just watch first 1:20 of that video they are talking about binder saved in the British museum with photographs of royal family involved
in child sex and...bestiality [you know..sex with animals] -is that something you practicing till this day as well
I assume judging by your high pitched voice

A woman for duty, a boy for pleasure, a goat for ecstasy. A philosophy that I aim to live up to every day.

Quote from: theONE on November 21, 2016, 11:13:16 AM
talking about SV (Silly Vagina) the confused fagg, hey inbreed watch this they are talking about you & your family as well in that documentary

We can all come up with lame nicknames, Genghis Kunt. I might also speculate that your user name reflects the total number of your testicles. Your whore mom having bitten the other one off, obviously.

Quote from: theONE on November 21, 2016, 10:46:23 AM
because it works most of the time, just look how it got you all butt hurt you disoriented faggot

For any disoriented faggots out there, just visit The One's mom, she'll set you right, that dirty whore.

Quote from: Yorkshire pud on November 18, 2016, 12:32:37 PM
Its a given; I'm a Yorkshireman. Englishmen are as a rule (other than those from Lancashire, Norfolk, parts of Shropshire and most of Hertfordshire) far wittier than the average American male. Yorkshiremen are simply the cream.

Yeah, rich and thick.

Quote from: ONeill on November 11, 2016, 02:59:30 PM
Hey SV, do you have any plans to continue the Senda Chronicles? Maybe a sequel to the Senda Christmas Carol?

I assumed people had had enough of them so I wasn't going to bother, but since you asked. A prize goes to whoever can cite all the literary references (terms and conditions apply*). This is in two parts, and will conclude whenever I can work out how to finish the bloody thing.


(*This isn't White Crow. I'd rather die than give you bastards anything for free, so STFU.)

The Senda Chronicles (continued)

"It's a Wonderful Sendaful Life"

These were lean times at Senda Towers. Well, not 'lean' in the sense that he'd got any slimmer - whenever he waddled his way on to a 'Speak Your Weight' machine it would usually just groan and sob quietly. Despite spooging fluid generously each time each he saw a news report about Donald Trump and got with the trouser-rubbing, he was still nudging the needle at 600 pounds, with power to add. No, he was having money troubles again. Even though he'd been able to add 'entrepreneur' to his already formidable resume - cornering the market in plastic pumpkin salt-shakers and witches masks nobody wanted - he eventually realised that it can be hard work selling Halloween items in the middle of November. Always a snapper-up of unconsidered trifles, even he was having trouble understanding why he'd bought a gross of 'Ghoulish Halloween Tampons' that glowed in the dark, with the string looking like a devil's tail. Although he'd been honoured by the Polish government for his "outstanding contribution to the economy" (his heroic consumption of of kielbasas earning him honorary admission to the order of the Holy Knights of Cracow, and the title of 'Lord Protector Pan Senda') he found that it came with no salary and, when he took the medal to the pawn shop, that it was only made of nickel alloy. Typical Polacks!

And then there was his love life. Although she looked like a cross between Quasimodo and a traffic accident, Sweet Kathy was still his one true love. Admittedly, they could rarely tolerate each other's company for more than ten minutes at a time without spitting in each other's faces, but who could penetrate the mysteries of true love? Even so, the three little words that mean so much usually, in her case, turned out to be "go fuck yourself" rather than "I love you". She had been his first real relationship with a woman; his previous 'girlfriend' being a hole in an abandoned mattress he'd found outside a homeless shelter. Although the mattress lacked her unique way with words (for example, it rarely said "gimme some cash, you fat fuck!") the personality, and the smell, were much the same. It is unlikely that Estee Lauder will be calling on her any time soon to help launch the 'Sweet Kathy' range, unless there is a sudden craze in the Mid-West for smelling like a herring trawler in the middle of summer. Senda was the only man who could see the real woman behind the matted hair, temper tantrums and random nudity. She was never popular in high-school, being voted "most likely to end up a lot lizard and strangled in a rest stop". Despite all that, he felt more attached to her than anyone else. Except for Snoopy, his number one.

And now she'd dumped his ass! Where did it all go wrong? As he was between jobs at the moment and had some time on his hands (he'd just got out of bed - at 4pm - and was having a rest while he pondered what to do with the rest of his day) he mulled over the rift within the lute that, ever-widening, had slowly silenced Kathy forever. His stint (3 hours) as Santa Claus at a local department store last year had not gone well, to be sure, and the choice of Kathy as a Christmas elf must rank as the worst mistake he'd made since the time he decided to eat two partially defrosted chickens. The memory - and the prolapsed colon - were with him still. They only hired Senda in the first place because the store thought it would save money on padding, but they hadn't bargained on him asking each child for ten bucks up front before he'd even ask them what they wanted for Christmas. Nor the way he would scream in pain every time a child sat on his knee. He was also far too fond of long, rambling monologues about how his mother always used to buy him the wrong sort of luxury train set for Christmas (he was in his mid-thirties by then), and by the time he'd got round to telling them about how his father used to beat him to death every night before bed, the poor children were led away so traumatised that several of them never spoke again.

Yes, as elfs go, he mused, Kathy definitely found her rightful place at Halloween rather than Christmas. If only he'd thought of it at the time, he could have walked around with her at night, the mere sight of her - five-foot-three of grisly, lazy-eyed simmering resentment - causing children to drop their candy and run for dear life. But surely there was some other reason for giving him the push than simply cajoling her on to the rough and stony path of seasonal employment? Were those playful love taps with a closed fist possibly interpreted wrongly? When he didn't hear from her for days on end a few months ago and thought she was dead, was the way he asked someone else to check on her, rather than doing it himself, miscontrued as coldness? Although he explained that he was immersed in an intensive DVD-watching project at the time, he didn't think she bought it. Their last conversation - which had ended with Kathy calling him a "worthless, good-for-nothing shitweasel" - hadn't been entirely positive, but when you are Senda most conversations end like that anyway, so he didn't think too much of it.

And now she'd gone! They had so much in common and the stupid bitch threw it all away. Their mutual love of gluttonous smorgasbord once led to an unbroken run of fourteen restaurant closures that earned them a place in The Guinness Book of Records and a state-wide retirement of the 'all-u-can-eat' buffet concept. And then there was their shared loathing of Mexicans; Senda once winning her over, after a particularly bruising fight, by taking her to a Klan meeting in a nearby parking lot, where they were having a 'Soak the Spic' night ("watch a wetback get even wetter"), when they'd round up a few gardeners and dangle them upside-down in a bathtub. The photos they took together that night were one of his most treasured possessions, if only he could find them under the mountains of all his other treasured possessions he'd acquired over a lifetime's assiduous hoarding. Haters might have speculated that they were related (reasoning that two people of such catastrophic unpleasantness must have come from the same parent stock), but the truth was that Cupid's arrow had nailed him squarely, and now he was bereft. Old, lonely, slightly overweight ("I'll lose the weight. STFU!"), broke. And horny. That 25 lb turkey was his only sexual solace now - it reminded him of Kathy in so many ways. (Pro-tip: if you're asked to Senda's place for Thanksgiving, a polite refusal is the only course. And on no account whatsoever sample his 'special stuffing'.)

Senda was nearing the end. His life had fallen into the sere and he felt it. His YouTube videos were being bested by arch-enemy Jason Callan at every turn. His latest - "what I found under my toenails this week" - hadn't met with the acclaim he'd hoped for. The Circle of Trust (plus Justin) was leaking like Kathy after a Big Gulp. He'd tried freshening-up his image a bit with his new 'One Flew Over The Cuckoo's Nest' haircut, but even that didn't stir his soul as he'd hoped. Even Noory wasn't returning his calls, despite trying 150 times a day, with breaks for naps. He decided to end it all. The Everlasting might have fixed his canon 'gainst self-slaughter, but G*d didn't have to listen to Drone babbling on Skype like an inmate from Atascadero every night. But how to do it? He pondered fashioning a noose by tying his 'kitties' together; if he added his latest acquisition (he was thinking of naming it 'Stolen Cat') they ought to form a long enough feline centipede to do the job. But it sounded like far too much work. Why not just throw himself off the balcony of his Section Eight housing hovel instead? He might even land on an illegal and get a posthumous medal of honor from St Donald himself! If he'd ever read anything other than woo-woo books he might have murmured the words of Sydney Carton as he ascended the steps of the guillotine, but instead he just said:

  "Fuck it! Screw you, MV! You and your tiny cameras!"

But then, as he clambered over the balcony railing (a sweaty, wheezing affair that lasted about twenty minutes), a soft voice behind him said:

  "Just a moment, Senda."

(tbc)

If any of you are misguided enough to approach this thing with an open mind, I need only point the jury's attention the all-female Ghostbusters. Cruel and unusual punishment by anyone's standards, but I expect it to be like the Sistine Chapel compared to this projected cacophony of bollocks. This whole thing makes me very upset indeed. And there we were thinking Falkie represented a low water mark for ineptitude.

Quote from: Inglorious Bitch on November 18, 2016, 11:19:58 AM
Don't get too dewey about "the better sort of golfclub", they wouldn't let you in anyway.

Au cuntraire! As Goldfinger said, "I own the club". We also share a penchant for hiring homicidal Korean servants, so shut your whore mouth if you don't want a bowler hat where you least expect it.

Quote from: theONE on November 18, 2016, 11:14:05 AM
pud ,how is sucking islamic terrorist's cock and swallowing works for you over there in UK
I've heard they are in charge of your cities at day and night, and they are impregnating your women
so they will have kids that will grow up being raised as muslims who will reduce your ex-Empire to a 3-World country.

Share with us some of that glittering phenomena that is underway in UK as we type... hehehehe

When your parents decide to take that dangerous step and let you out of the house unsupervised perhaps you'll learn that life isn't always how it's portrayed on right-wing scandal sites for the feeble-minded.

And your mother's still a whore. She proved it last night. Swallowing was the least of it, and she's also very reasonably priced.

Suggested alternative title for this epoch-making abortion: "The Hoe-Down".

I'd like to lodge a formal protest. The GabCast should be like the better sort of golf club - in other words, the bare minimum of 'skirt' cluttering up the place. We allow them to do the catering, and simper inanely at our displays of wit, but otherwise it's just an embarrassment for man and beast.

Quote from: VoteQuimby on November 09, 2016, 09:14:17 AM
Sure, you're much smarter than everyone else on here. And you display that by being consistently wrong. 

Smarter than you, but then I could say the same for the chair I'm sitting on.

Quote from: VoteQuimby on November 09, 2016, 09:07:26 AM
If your past analysis is any indication I'll translate this as "blah blah blah" and move on with this momentous day. 

Oh, it's momentous. Even a dim bulb like you can see that. Just not in the way you think it is.

Quote from: VoteQuimby on November 09, 2016, 01:21:58 AM
136 or 142
Realcool Daddio
Yorkshire Pud
SV
Lt. Uhura
Donald Noory
onan
TigerLily
That one commie chick who's name I don't remember
NowhereInTime

People in Europe were ecstatic at the idea of war breaking out in 1914, so your cretinous reaction comes as no surprise. As Hegel said, we learn from history that we don't learn from history. Good luck with this 'outsider' who was born with the silver spoon tightly inserted, and whose fortune probably consists of fairy gold, if he were man enough to let people see his tax returns. All you are doing is voting against something, rather than for,which is never a good idea.

I'll stop here. I know more than five lines taxes you sorely and you start blowing bubbles.

Quote from: Dr. MD MD on November 08, 2016, 11:34:26 AM
You're thinking of your brains. 

I know you like to hang around children's playgrounds, that's where your ready wit comes from.

Quote from: Yorkshire pud on November 08, 2016, 11:24:23 AM
As I said, you're full of shit.

If we gave him an enema he'd fit in a matchbox.

Quote from: K_Dubb on November 07, 2016, 12:06:36 PM
Yeah the divine stuff is a matter of faith.  But the ahistorical-Jesus idea is a fantasy.  We can't afford to reject any material from that era outright.  They're just data points, duly weighted.

Hahaha so the illiterate peasants turn into philosophers!  You are coming around!

I agree the ideas draw from those old Greeks and maybe from further east -- fascinating to speculate whether the flight into Egypt and the Magi represent some influence, metaphorical or real.  Where you put it in your personal library is up to you; my point is that it should be there rather than in the shredder.

I saw the Habermas video that FTF posted last night. It was quite interesting, as these things go, putting the emphasis on Paul's testimony as evidence for the resurrection. As always with religion, though, the advocates are those  who already have a dog in the hunt and have an innate predisposition to find something that will confirm their beliefs. Just as I (to be fair) have an innate bias that it's not true. I go along with Bertrand Russell that the three major religions have directly competing claims so that, simply as a matter of probability, you have to assume that you are destined for damnation whichever one you pick.

As far as I can tell, religions have their benign side that focuses on harmless rituals that try to give meaning to life; my objection comes when people stop thinking for themselves about important questions and trust authority instead of their own reason. When you start down that path you are on a slippery slope to Creationist museums, with the (vegetarian!) T-Rex pottering about in the Garden of Eden with Adam and Eve.  If you've ever come across Ray Comfort (and I pray to the Lord above that you haven't!) you can see just how silly this stuff can become.

On that video, the guy cited some (probably bogus) survey that 20% of atheists are 'angry at God'. Well, you can't be angry at someone you don't believe exists, but you can be angry at the things that are done in 'God's' name. There is almost nothing that you can't get some people to do if they think they have the mandate of a deity behind them, and that's my main concern. If you want to eat the filling but leave the crusts, fine, but a  lot of people aren't like that, and that's where the harm comes from.

Quote from: VoteQuimby on November 08, 2016, 07:00:00 AM
Kind of intense to know within 36 hours, we'll know whether we still have a country or not.

Don't worry, even if he's elected he won't manage to fuck things up that quickly. They won't even let him tweet on his own any more, so the chances that he'll get his little mitts on the nuclear football any time soon is probably fairly limited.

Quote from: theONE on November 07, 2016, 11:36:33 AM
SV I hope that "that fucker" will ban my ass from here by the time when I return in the evening...so I just like you to know that
in my opinion you are a ... TURD

I don't think being a petulant bore is a banning offence, sadly.

Quote from: K_Dubb on November 07, 2016, 11:28:15 AM
All history is self-serving to one degree or another, particularly in that era of of patronage.  We try to determine the writer's intent and use that to weigh what he says, not throw it out wholesale.

That's why history is called 'history', it comes from the Greek meaning 'inquiry'. Nobody said that you need to take it all at face value, it's just that the evidence is fairly thin, from my perspective, when it comes to substantiating Jesus as divine.

Quote from: K_Dubb on November 07, 2016, 11:28:15 AM
So you would reject the ideas that swept over half the globe because you can't discern the exact nature of the pebble that was dropped into the eastern Med that produced such waves.

A lot of those ideas came from Platonism. Socrates talked about forgiving your enemies in the Phaedo, for example, they weren't originated by JC. You can take the Sermon on the Mount as a ethical system, and fair enough, but most people found their belief on it being the undiluted word of God. If not, then you bracket it with philosophy rather than theology.

Quote from: theONE on November 07, 2016, 11:13:23 AM
have a nap onan, I must take care of few things now --and I hope when I return I will be banned from this toilet
that few posters like to make it on a almost daily basis because they can not win an argument so they lower themselves
to insulting other posters family members...especially Mothers
And low life like TigerLilly is totally fine with that ...so she is snitching now on me because I have guts to voice my disgust
about it...some of you are despicable human garbage here ... {few of you here are decent people}

Run along, those glory holes don't mop themselves. As for my effeminate voice, that's the thing your mother likes best about me, and often tells me so; on those occasions when I take my nuts out of her mouth, that is.

As for the whole miku-mother-dog imbroglio, I think we shall have to file that under 'not proven' pending further evidence, but I can imagine that the poor woman must have been under severe strain with a son like that, so any sort of happiness that might bring some joy into her wrinkled, disappointed life must be considered a blessing.

I will always come to the defence of my little Yorkie, rain or shine. We are like the Sonny and Cher of BG.

Quote from: FightTheFuture on November 07, 2016, 11:06:34 AM
Actually that`s not entirely true. You forget the writings of Paul. You can debate whether he actually experienced a visit from the risen Jesus on the Road to Damascus, but what is NOT in question is the fact that he sincerely BELIEVED he did. He then met with Jesus` brother, James (an ardent skeptic prior to seeing his brother rise from the dead) and Peter just 2 or 3 years after the Cross.

You`re a smart guy, Sred. We may disagree on a thing or two, but I respect you and your opinions. They`re generally well thought out. You may find the following video interesting. Dr. Habermas has had a significant influence on me. I`ve read all his books and I believe him to be one of the leading Christian Scholars of of our time.


https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=5znVUFHqO4Q

A fair point, but he was Saul at the time of the crucifixion, didn't know Jesus, and only converted decades later.  I suppose it depends on how much you are willing to accept on faith or not. I like to have robust discussions about this stuff, but ultimately people can believe as they see fit, it's not really my business to convince them otherwise.

I'll have a look at that video, as I am always intrigued to hear arguments from the other side.

Quote from: K_Dubb on November 07, 2016, 10:39:11 AM
Look at the dates that separate Tacitus and his subjects, or between Suetonius and Tiberius DN quoted so memorably.  History itself is veiled in mist at that distance and, if we were to insist on contemporary eyewitness accounts of Rome, we'd know next to nothing of the emperors, let alone the lives of peasants.  The kinds of evidence rules you're trying to apply don't work on that period.

Rome was a highly literate culture and there are plenty of contemporary accounts to choose from. The difficulty is sifting and deciding whether they are self-serving or not.

Extraordinary claims require extraordinary evidence. You could say the same thing about Socrates, that there isn't independent evidence to suggest that there really was such a figure, all we get is secondary accounts from people like Plato, Xenophon and Aristophanes. The difference is that we don't need to believe that Socrates existed to get some benefit from his wisdom. With Jesus, everything is predicated on him being a real historical figure and we need (at least I do) more in the way of hard facts.

Quote from: theONE on November 07, 2016, 10:31:48 AM
you are such a low life turd SV
YOU HAVE NO CLASS WHATSOEVER -but what do I expect from citizen of a country that is a laughing stock of the whole World
ex-Empire being fucked by a bunch of muslim terrorist -God is punishng you for having no morals you UK fools

Now I know how Heather must have felt beneath your rhetorical blowtorch. It's like being nibbled by a baby lamb. Try again, troll.

Quote from: theONE on November 07, 2016, 10:21:05 AM
you said that with you high pitched feminized voice I bet ,
how about schooling that turd pud or you are too pissy pussy to do that or you are also
low life who is insulting posters mothers when you are loosing argument with words on a forum
scum bags -no wonder muslims fucking up your country like there is no tomorrow, you deserved it you cowards

At least the Muslims aren't fucking my country the way I fucked your whore of a mother last night, but at least she was paid. Not much (although she tried to claim that having no teeth was an advantage) but enough to keep you in jelly beans for a few days.

Pud's dirty mind is one of the things I find most thrillingly sexy about him. That and the washboard stomach.

Quote from: theONE on November 07, 2016, 10:05:35 AM
pud you are disgusting piece of shit -you are also one of those low life's here going to the lowest of low and insulting other poster
mother because you are incompetent to win an argument with words.
PUD YOU ARE PILE OF TURDS
disgusting human being you are pud, choke on your own vomit you low life

You may be a mongoloid but it doesn't mean you have to behave like one. Now, get back in your pen and play with your bricks.

Quote from: FightTheFuture on November 06, 2016, 02:12:46 PM
Jessica, huh? Are you simply blissfully ignorant or is that your attempt at being provocatively snarky? Not sure which, but neither do I care. You should read up a bit. You`re certainly entitled to your beliefs and that`s a great thing, indeed. However, there are some items that are considered fact by the majority of religious scholars. you may be somewhat surprised to learn them. First and foremost, Jesus existed and it`s very well documented:

1. Jesus died by crucifixion.
2. He was buried.
3. His death caused the disciples to despair and lose hope.
4. The tomb was empty (the most contested).
5. The disciples had experiences which they believed were literal appearances of the risen Jesus (the most important proof).
6. The disciples were transformed from doubters to bold proclaimers.
7. The resurrection was the central message.
8. They preached the message of Jesus’ resurrection in Jerusalem.
9. The Church was born and grew.
10. Orthodox Jews who believed in Christ made Sunday their primary day of worship.
11. James was converted to the faith when he saw the resurrected Jesus (James was a family skeptic).
12. Paul was converted to the faith (Paul was an outsider skeptic).

I don't have any beliefs where this is concerned, rather a lack of one. I imagine that religious scholars are going to agree on a few details because their faith predisposes them that way. You really don't have much in terms of contemporary accounts to fall back on. The gospels were written decades after the fact by we-don't-know-whom. You get a mention about someone called 'Christus' in the annals of Tacitus (over a century after the 'fact'), but you think he'd merit more than a passing reference if it was that significant. The disciples were illiterate and didn't leave anything behind them for us to verify. There are contemporary accounts of the sun looking pale for a year after Caesar was assassinated, yet no mention anywhere about the darkness that supposedly occurred after the Crucifixion.

Oral testimony is notoriously unreliable, viz. all the accounts of these school shooting where people see multiple shooters. People have a tendency to confabulate, and when you factor in all the time that passed, it would be easy to imagine all kinds of fictitious stuff being added to the tale. There may have been a teacher called Jesus, but I don't see any reliable testimony to prove that he was divine.

Of course I was being snarky. I'm not all that interested in someone's personal beliefs. Like most people who don't believe in God, I just don't like the way that it bleeds into public life, or the way that believers try to guilt others into following their own line, otherwise they will go to Hell.

Quote from: VoteQuimby on November 06, 2016, 09:49:39 AM
I wonder what would make someone still answer Clinton phone calls for favors at this point?

This is exactly where I'm at. Hillary is a James Bond villain. I cannot fathom how anyone can still promote her at this point.

Leftists talk about how Trump murdered the Republican Party. Is that supposed to be a bad thing?

Part of me hopes that Trump gets in, just so you can see what would follow, but I'd rather that there was something of the world left over apart from a few bleeding cinders. But the more sensible side of me would prefer that your entire country wasn't humiliated and immiserated. For all your faults, I'd rather have you lot in charge than China or Russia.

Quote from: HedgehogNorman on November 06, 2016, 09:35:49 AM
No, he just didn't want to commit suicide in a field in Virginia by shooting himself in the back of the head twice...

Then why did he come out and mention this latest batch of emails? You're not making sense.

Quote from: Dr. MD MD on November 06, 2016, 09:18:12 AM
Sure! I'm all for that. I never voted for that asshat. I truly believe he and Jeb stole the first election but the second time people actually voted for him, it seems. However, it's naive of you to suggest that the corruption in power wouldn't fight against such a challenge to it's authority but the evidence is mounting now and none of it can be considered trivial.

The director of the FBI (pretty right-wing, by all accounts) decided that there wasn't sufficient evidence to warrant a prosecution. I'm sure they factor in whether it's worthwhile to commit huge resources to pursue something that was a minor transgression in the great scheme of things. As for Wikileaks, I don't think you can consider that as an impeachable source since we don't know whether they were doctored or not. If you are going to be evidence-based you have to make sure that the information hasn't been compromised. At the moment we are in such a blizzard of information that people haven't taken a breath to consider the veracity of the source. Yes, guilty people go free occasionally, but that's the price you pay sometimes for living in a country based on the rule of law rather than a banana republic where anything goes.

Quote from: Dr. MD MD on November 06, 2016, 09:03:57 AM
Let's cut through the bullshit, shall we? There is enough evidence that she should be facing charges from the FBI, not the least of which is lying to them. Of course, she would have the right to defend herself in a court of law. 

Perhaps we ought to start with priorities, hmm? How about making sure George W Bush is tried for starting an illegal war? If you want to talk about blood on someone's hands I'd probably start there rather than dance to the tune of talk radio all the time. I don't claim to be a fan of HRC, but if the case against her was as open and shut as you suggest then we wouldn't be having this conversation.