BellGab.com Archive

Switching gears away from Art, I prepared a brief statement in case the media calls to ask me about my reaction to the death of Barbara Bush:

'I imagine this was as good a time as any for Mrs. Bush to cruise on out of life, and I know how much she enjoyed cruising. Black men, right?'

Art's autopsy report has been released.

Art Bell's brain revealed tertiary [third-stage] human-feline syphilis.

He died on the floor playing with a ball of string.

Other symptoms of human-feline syphilis include scratching the furniture, hand-licking & straying in and out of commitments.

Recently, via drone, he had been seen defecating in the large tracts of sand that surrounded his desert dwelling.

In accordance with his will, Art Bell will be buried in a human-sized litter box filled with catnip.

He also also requested that the Stray Cats reunite to sing 'a catella' at his memorial.

Meow in peace, Art.

But I'll be goddamned if I'll eat a can of cat food like many of your fans intend to do.

Art Bell has delivered his final 'Ta ta.'

He is now permanently East, West, North and South of the Rockies.

He is survived by his legion of fans and 17 cats he enjoyed fucking.

Also, a Saddam Hussein look-a-like with a serious case of radio mush-mouth.

Goodbye, Art.

Death is the one thing you couldn't flake out on.

"Wanna take a ride?"

"Wanna know how he died?"

This is Major Ed to Ground Control:

Over and out.

Live long and prosperate, as Jorch Noory might say.

Quote from: 21st Century Man on March 19, 2015, 01:48:13 AM
Yeah, I'm thinking that's what probably happened. Cowtown made a joke about  Major Ed and me getting a room.  I thought nothing of it but Ed then proceeded to insult cowtown and cowtown reciprocated. I tried to settle them down but to no avail. One minute, MV was telling both cowtown and Major Ed that they were both acting stupid which they were.  Next, Major Ed was outta here. 

Major Ed was funny as hell but he could be nasty every once in a while.  I was a victim of that but I got over it. I never complained to anyone about it but I kinda knew that there was going to be a time that Ed would let loose again and he'd be kicked off the site.  It was liable to happen sooner or later.

Yeah, buddy.  You sure know your onions.

Not much else, but you do know your onions.

Yeah, I got kicked off -- exactly as you said.

Wait a minute . . . I'm still here.  What the fuck?

I guess you were full of shit, as usual.

Anyway, after getting reported over and over again -- likely by the same poor victim/idiot -- the moderator wrote me a private message and asked me politely to please stop whatever I was doing that was causing all the reports and that it was annoying.  He even signed off with "thx."   So, no, he didn't kick me off the site.

In any case, I don't want to take the chance of possibly annoying him again.  He seems like a very nice person.

One final joke:

A couple of nights ago, Jorch said he liked to think of his body "as a car."

I wonder what his wig is -- a thatched hut?

Quote from: cowtown on March 09, 2015, 08:05:15 PM
Hey, pal. It's time someone cleaned your plow. You've been ugly and nasty to many other posters, and now me, on this forum, a fact the moderator seems to ignore. Not that I need justify myself to a clearly ignorant and toxic forum addict as yourself, I have an actual life that - unlike you -  doesn't consist of residing on the "George Noory Sucks Forum" to dissect Noory's every word on which you obviously hang.

Awwww . . . maybe you could complain to your mommy if the moderator won't help you.

Hey, bring me some more luck, fuckhead.

I just won $2000 in a poker tourney while I was cleaning your sperm-covered clock with my verbal Lysol hose.

Quote from: cowtown on March 09, 2015, 07:51:10 PM
That's easy!

"Third-Stage "Syphilitic" = "Major Ed Damian".

Hey, cowtown:

Do you chase that sperm down with Sterno?

Was this guy singing about you?



https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=cqH38l5Wq7I


I think he was.

Quote from: wr250 on March 09, 2015, 07:50:28 PM
no although it would probably be easier than the noorisms excreted mon-fri ,and sometimes on sunday with submerging artists.

I dunno about that.

Cowtown has obviously had a lot of his valuable wiring eaten up by the deadly spirochetes.

Not to mention the brain damage caused by all the Mad Dog 20/20 and Pledge.

Quote from: cowtown on March 09, 2015, 07:43:58 PM
Sieg Heil Major Commandant Ed!  Your word is our command!

Speaking of your words, you're nearly out of toilet paper.  Take a break from the forum and go get some.

Anybody on here want to take a stab at interpreting Third-Stage Syphilitic?

Quote from: cowtown on March 09, 2015, 07:35:26 PM
All hail "Major Ed Damian". He the Undisputed Big Dick on this forum. Despite his reading comprehension shortcomings and other obvious problems. Congratulations, "Major Ed", you are unquestionably the recipient of this years Most Important Person On The George Noory Sucks Forum award.  No doubt it was the word "Sucks" with which you closely identified.

Jealousy is a helluva drug.  Maybe you could go back to huffing furniture polish.

Quote from: cowtown on March 09, 2015, 07:35:26 PM
All hail "Major Ed Damian". He the Undisputed Big Dick on this forum. Despite his reading comprehension challenges and other obvious problems.

Shit, you can't even spell "Damien," fucktard.

Quote from: cowtown on March 09, 2015, 07:24:56 PM
Stop fixating on George Noory . . .

Hey, stupid.  The site is "George Noory Sucks."  If you want to suck him off some more, then start your own site.

Quote from: cowtown on March 09, 2015, 07:24:56 PM
Good thing the institution where you are incarcerated provides liberal use of the communal computer, or you would not be able to be permanently affixed to this forum as you are. Try getting outside in the exercise yard. Drop a couple hundred pounds. Get some therapy. Stop fixating on George Noory and male sex. Unfortunately, not much can be done about the Tourette syndrome.

Sorry . . . part of a fragment.

Quote from: cowtown on March 09, 2015, 07:24:56 PM
Good thing the institution where you are incarcerated provides liberal use of the communal computer, or you would not be able to be permanently affixed to this forum as you are. Try getting outside in the exercise yard. Drop a couple hundred pounds. Get some therapy. Stop fixating on George Noory and male sex.

Look . . . nobody wants to hear you read notes from your group therapy sessions. 

Find something original to write or crawl back into the sauce -- while you've still got part of a liver and a fragment of a brain.

Quote from: cowtown on March 09, 2015, 07:19:06 PM
Hey! "Major Ed" got fired from his job at the sperm bank for drinking on the job.

Hey, fuckhead:

Stop reading lame jokes written in Sharpie over your glory hole.

Quote from: cowtown on March 09, 2015, 07:16:35 PM
Finally! "Major Ed Damian" confirms that he is about to enter Junior High.

Well, don't get too turned on, fuckhead.  You'll end up getting cornholed in the slammer again.

Not that you'd mind.

Quote from: cowtown on March 09, 2015, 07:05:51 PM
Looking forward to Junior High next year?

Why?  You cruising past the school again with your drool on the windshield?

LOL

Quote from: cowtown on March 09, 2015, 07:04:30 PM
"Major Ed Damian" listens to, hangs on and critiques every word that comes from the mouth of George Noory, whom he apparently despises.  How "bright" is that?

It's a lot of fun.

How much fan mail do you get? 

None.

So crawl back into your bottle, you sad, drunken faggot.

You've got to be at work in the morning at your rest-stop glory hole. 

Quote from: cowtown on March 09, 2015, 07:00:37 PM
Q: What do you call the useless flesh that surrounds a vagina?

A: "Major Ed Damian".

You can't even spell "Damien" correctly, you shit-eating fly.

Quote from: cowtown on March 09, 2015, 06:58:24 PM
Q: Why does "Major Ed Damian" have a vagina?

A: So men will speak to him.

How the fuck would you know?  You're not a man.  You're a shit-eating fly on the wall.

And if you had an original idea for a joke, it would die of the syphilis your mother gave you.

Quote from: cowtown on March 09, 2015, 06:52:53 PM
A duel of wits with this "Major Ed Damian" poster is obviously a case of facing an unarmed opponent. His resorting to "You Must Be Noory" is even more pathetic than using the Hitler card.

Actually, that was a horrible insult to Noory -- because you're not nearly as bright as he is.

Sorry, Jorch.

Quote from: cowtown on March 09, 2015, 06:48:18 PM
"Major Ed Damian" seems to be fixated on gay male sex. Oh, to be a fly on the wall when he phones in to talk to Tommy.

Hey, cowtown, tell us another lame pussy joke.  Nobody wants to hear about your shit-eating fantasies as a fly.

Quote from: cowtown on March 09, 2015, 06:44:10 PM
Hell, "Major Ed Damian" sounds like Two Ton Tommy. "Major Ed Damian" probably weighs 300 pounds and is actually envious of Tommy's position, hence the daily, constant pathological animosity and anal fixation on Noory's verbiage.  The closest this "Major Ed's" come to a "pussy" was the last cat he set on fire.

Hey, Noory, it's about time you got back on here.  You gave yourself away with the low-IQ "pussy" joke.  Start another thread -- not the gooey one dangling from your mouth -- and let everybody interview your dumb ass.

Quote from: 21st Century Man on March 09, 2015, 06:41:37 PM
I'm sorry, Onan. You too, cowtown.  I promise I'll zip my mouth on the topic until the next time it comes up on Coast.

Just don't zip cowtown's mouth.  He'll miss breakfast, lunch and dinner semen.

Quote from: cowtown on March 09, 2015, 06:32:24 PM


Once again, the vitriolic poster "Major Ed Damian", who finds fault in George Noory's every utterance, and who resides permanently on this forum and who apparently has no life outside of this forum, reveals to all his pathetic little self.

Awwww . . . you sound jealous.  Does your pussy hurt?

Hell, you sound like George Noory.

Quote from: 21st Century Man on March 09, 2015, 06:15:54 PM
Well of course, one has to have faith to believe that Jesus claimed to be the son of God.  You either have it or you don't and I'm not here to convince others one way or the other.  The thing is and I'm going by what I've read of Hill. He knew he didn't kill those people but he chose to let people believe otherwise. If he had appealed his case, he probably would have been pardoned.

I don't have the answer regarding the tree and the pigs.  It's something I wonder about too.  I wish I could ask Christ about that.  There's a lot I question in the Bible. It drives my wife up the wall.

I'm done.

Captain if you still want  to chat I'll be here later during the show and we can engage each other through pm's or on another thread.  I really enjoy our back and forth but I'm guessing we're wearing out our welcome here and I can't blame the others for getting irritated.

"If he had appealed his case, he probably would have been pardoned."

Not in early 20th Century Utah, he wouldn't have.

Quote from: cowtown on March 09, 2015, 06:19:24 PM
You ought to know where the hole is located.

Yeah, it's the one with your mouth over it.

No thanks.

Quote from: 21st Century Man on March 09, 2015, 06:00:37 PM
Well, that's partially true too. Though he did say, "Give unto Caesar what is Caesar's".  He wasn't a danger to the Romans but he was a danger to the Sanhedrin and the Pharisees because he claimed to be the Son Of God.  That would certainly put those people in danger of losing their authority.  Probably their jobs too.

And that "Give unto Caesar what is Caesar's," comment was a highly sarcastic rebuke -- essentially making what was Caesar's worthless when compared to what was being given to the other deity.

Quote from: cowtown on March 09, 2015, 06:12:44 PM
Hey, "21st Century Man" and "Major Ed Damian": Get a room. There's a Bible in the drawer.

Is there a hole in the wall for you to suck everybody's dick?