Ok folks, time for a rant. I realize I'm good at bitching, and I'm no one special, we all have our little problems, but hang in there will ya?
It's time to renew my driver's license. I look up the info online as to when the DMV is open and where it is nowadays, to see if they moved to a new location. I find the info and notice that it has numerous negative reviews. I read them with an open mind, realizing that people get pissed off if they don't get their way, and remembering that I need to bring some official document with me, something either State of Federal that has my name and address on it. Done.
But before I go, I have to make a few phone calls and check on a few things.
We are trying to finish up the process of a home owner's claim with our lender, our insurance company, and the contractor who has taken nearly an entire calendar year to finish the work. We had a terrible hail storm blow through here last May. The timing is understandable, as there was a lot of property damage and contractors are swamped. I get it. The thing I don't get is their expectation to get paid....RIGHT NOW!
Our insurance company asked us to use a preferred contractor to line up the work. The contractor acts as the adjuster, lines up the work that they don't do themselves and all contractors are heavily vetted and have great reputations. This saves the insurance company time and money and we don't have to find our own contractors. We agree to this and everything goes relatively well...new roof, new siding...incidental stuff as well. My insurance company cuts the repair check and sends it to the preferred contractor who came down at the end of last week to deliver it and have us sign off that we are satisfied with all the work. He impresses upon me that he is in a severe time crunch to pay the siding guy. I assure him that I spoke with our lender and since the entirety of the work is under 50K, and since we are in great standing with the lender, all they require of us is the check and the contractor's worksheet and that they can usually send the check back for our endorsement and schedule the inspection within a couple business days. Done. I even told the contractor I would send the check and required document overnight to the lender as to expedite the process, which I certainly don't have to do, but want to, because we really liked this guy and he did a good job for us. I sent the check and documents out on Monday morning.
It's now Wednesday, and the contractor has emailed me wondering about the process. I punch in the tracking number on USPS site to find that there has been a label created, but no other info is provided. F***! Alright, I'll drop by the post office after I get my license renewed...but before that....
I make a call to the children's hospital where my son will have cranial/facial surgery in May. He was born with bilateral cleft lip and palate and has had seven surgeries thus far...he's the toughest little kid I have ever seen...has never complained about "pain spikes," not even once.
I'm calling them to ask them how the surgery will be coded, because my health insurance company, which is becoming more and more worthless by the day, is questioning whether this surgery is medically necessary. Granted, by this point in the process, we are starting to tip the scales into cosmetics vs. medically necessary, but all of this piggybacks on previous surgeries and have to be done when the child gets to a certain developmental stage...it is quite confusing at times. This surgery will be around 90K, so naturally, I want to know if these fucking deadbeats are going to pay for the surgery or not. Honestly, at this point, I feel like we are paying 19K in premiums, plus 2500 a year in deductibles, plus out of pocket and prescript costs, to have these extortioners NOT pay our bills. Again, I recognize this is not my problem alone...many of us struggle.
The pre-op lady at the children's hospital assures me that it will be coded as medically necessary and that she will contact our insurance company to get things straightened out. For this I am extremely grateful as I spend hours talking to these fucks every month only to have them insult me with their required "Call us anytime, we are here for you" at the end of a frustrating conversation.
I drive to the DMV. Before I get out of the car, I make sure I have the document I need, my expiring driver's license, and that my pecker is still attached. I remind myself of something my dear 'ol Ma taught me, and expected me to do: "No matter what, be nice to people. Even if they are not nice to you. Remember that everyone is struggling with something and you have the ability to make their day a little brighter...or darker." OK, mom...I'll do my best.
I go in, take a number and go sit down. There are kids in here taking their driver's tests, and more than a few of us driving veterans waiting...and waiting...and waiting...and waiting. The older man behind me is getting impatient and his wife calls wondering what the fuck is taking so long. He tells her that she should just skip her hair appointment because his number is about up and he doesn't plan on sitting around for another hour and a half waiting on her ass to come pick him up at this asylum. I'm thinking to myself..an hour and a fucking half? Sorry ma.
They call his number and he goes up to renew his license, but he CAN'T because he doesn't have an official document with his name and address on it. A rookie mistake from an old codger.
"Can you go to your vehicle and retrieve your registration?"
Nope. He calls his wife to find she has kept her hair appointment. He left the DMV, presumably to find the nearest beer fountain within walking distance.
There are a couple people ahead of me, and their visits go pretty smoothly and when my number is called, I've only been waiting about 45 minutes. As I'm walking up to the front, I notice numerous posted messages on the doors, and walls...mostly with unfriendly language like "We DO NOT," or"You MUST"...MUST in capital letters, and FOR TESTERS ONLY on the restroom door? Or maybe it was just a quiet room to study?
"Can I help you?"
"Yes, ma'am..I'm here to renew my license." I hand her my expiring license, noting the younger,good lookin', naive man who had more hair back then, and the number tag which was "25."
"Do you want the gold star?"
"Huh?" I swear to God and sonny Jesus, she sighed and rolled her eyes.
Now, I'm paraphrasing here a bit because I was confused and my Ma's good rule went out the proverbial fucking window.
"Sigh...the gold star...it's federal law..October...Federal ID act, blah blah blah."
"Huh? Isn't a driver's license a state ID?"
"Yes, but you have to show an ID when you fly or when you enter federal buildings, including some banks. If you don't have a gold star then you wont
be able to fly, nor go onto any military...Federal...bank...blah blah blah."
At this point, I envision her standing there, not relaxed, but stiff, and rigid....and with a German accent..."may I zee your papers?"
"What do I need to do to receive a gold star on my homework," I ask in a sarcastic prick of a way?
"Sigh...you need a birth certificate, or a valid passport."
"Well, I didn't bring either one of those, but I did bring a recent property tax evaluation, which is a genuine document straight from someplace official," I stated in a sarcastic prick of a manner.
"Guess, I'll just take the decaffinated plain 'ol driver's license, and try to avoid flying, visiting any federal real estate and avoiding any military installations, fraulein." OK..I didn't SAY fraulein, but you can bet your sweet ass, I was thinking it.
"Sigh..when you come back in, you will be charged eight dollars for the upgrade blah blah blah..."
Got my picture toooook.
"You'll have to take an eye test. You can move the viewer into a comfortable position."
"Hey...this thing isn't gonna scan my retinas is it?" Chuckle...thinking it might break her sourpuss mood. It didn't.
"Read line five please."
Looking...
"Line five.'
"I can't read it."
"You can''t read it?'
"I can't read it."
"Read line four then."
"I can't read line four...I can't read line one...well..there might be an 'n' and maybe an 'r.'
"You can't read any of the lines?"
"Not with my right eye...no."
"Can you see anything out of that eye?"
"Yeah, I can see the lines, I can see a few of the letters, but they jumble up a bit, and it still works good enough to recognize a fuckin' bitch when it sees one"....OK. I didn't say that, but I was thinking it.
"What happened to your eye?"
I tried to think of something cool, something Snake Pliskin-esque here, but i couldn't think of anything in a hurry.
"Born that way, I guess."
I took the vision test with the left eye and could read every single letter!
"The law says you have to have only one good eye to drive."
She took my $22, and gave me a paper ID for the meantime, reminding me that they COULD NOT print me a replacement. Of course not....
I thanked her, bid her nice day, and walked out of that dismal dungeon, noting the sour-looking faces on the poor bastards who were waiting with numbers 26 to god knows what, waiting for their chance at parole.
Seriously, I ask you now, are we living in Nazi Germany at this point?
It's time to renew my driver's license. I look up the info online as to when the DMV is open and where it is nowadays, to see if they moved to a new location. I find the info and notice that it has numerous negative reviews. I read them with an open mind, realizing that people get pissed off if they don't get their way, and remembering that I need to bring some official document with me, something either State of Federal that has my name and address on it. Done.
But before I go, I have to make a few phone calls and check on a few things.
We are trying to finish up the process of a home owner's claim with our lender, our insurance company, and the contractor who has taken nearly an entire calendar year to finish the work. We had a terrible hail storm blow through here last May. The timing is understandable, as there was a lot of property damage and contractors are swamped. I get it. The thing I don't get is their expectation to get paid....RIGHT NOW!
Our insurance company asked us to use a preferred contractor to line up the work. The contractor acts as the adjuster, lines up the work that they don't do themselves and all contractors are heavily vetted and have great reputations. This saves the insurance company time and money and we don't have to find our own contractors. We agree to this and everything goes relatively well...new roof, new siding...incidental stuff as well. My insurance company cuts the repair check and sends it to the preferred contractor who came down at the end of last week to deliver it and have us sign off that we are satisfied with all the work. He impresses upon me that he is in a severe time crunch to pay the siding guy. I assure him that I spoke with our lender and since the entirety of the work is under 50K, and since we are in great standing with the lender, all they require of us is the check and the contractor's worksheet and that they can usually send the check back for our endorsement and schedule the inspection within a couple business days. Done. I even told the contractor I would send the check and required document overnight to the lender as to expedite the process, which I certainly don't have to do, but want to, because we really liked this guy and he did a good job for us. I sent the check and documents out on Monday morning.
It's now Wednesday, and the contractor has emailed me wondering about the process. I punch in the tracking number on USPS site to find that there has been a label created, but no other info is provided. F***! Alright, I'll drop by the post office after I get my license renewed...but before that....
I make a call to the children's hospital where my son will have cranial/facial surgery in May. He was born with bilateral cleft lip and palate and has had seven surgeries thus far...he's the toughest little kid I have ever seen...has never complained about "pain spikes," not even once.
I'm calling them to ask them how the surgery will be coded, because my health insurance company, which is becoming more and more worthless by the day, is questioning whether this surgery is medically necessary. Granted, by this point in the process, we are starting to tip the scales into cosmetics vs. medically necessary, but all of this piggybacks on previous surgeries and have to be done when the child gets to a certain developmental stage...it is quite confusing at times. This surgery will be around 90K, so naturally, I want to know if these fucking deadbeats are going to pay for the surgery or not. Honestly, at this point, I feel like we are paying 19K in premiums, plus 2500 a year in deductibles, plus out of pocket and prescript costs, to have these extortioners NOT pay our bills. Again, I recognize this is not my problem alone...many of us struggle.
The pre-op lady at the children's hospital assures me that it will be coded as medically necessary and that she will contact our insurance company to get things straightened out. For this I am extremely grateful as I spend hours talking to these fucks every month only to have them insult me with their required "Call us anytime, we are here for you" at the end of a frustrating conversation.
I drive to the DMV. Before I get out of the car, I make sure I have the document I need, my expiring driver's license, and that my pecker is still attached. I remind myself of something my dear 'ol Ma taught me, and expected me to do: "No matter what, be nice to people. Even if they are not nice to you. Remember that everyone is struggling with something and you have the ability to make their day a little brighter...or darker." OK, mom...I'll do my best.
I go in, take a number and go sit down. There are kids in here taking their driver's tests, and more than a few of us driving veterans waiting...and waiting...and waiting...and waiting. The older man behind me is getting impatient and his wife calls wondering what the fuck is taking so long. He tells her that she should just skip her hair appointment because his number is about up and he doesn't plan on sitting around for another hour and a half waiting on her ass to come pick him up at this asylum. I'm thinking to myself..an hour and a fucking half? Sorry ma.
They call his number and he goes up to renew his license, but he CAN'T because he doesn't have an official document with his name and address on it. A rookie mistake from an old codger.
"Can you go to your vehicle and retrieve your registration?"
Nope. He calls his wife to find she has kept her hair appointment. He left the DMV, presumably to find the nearest beer fountain within walking distance.
There are a couple people ahead of me, and their visits go pretty smoothly and when my number is called, I've only been waiting about 45 minutes. As I'm walking up to the front, I notice numerous posted messages on the doors, and walls...mostly with unfriendly language like "We DO NOT," or"You MUST"...MUST in capital letters, and FOR TESTERS ONLY on the restroom door? Or maybe it was just a quiet room to study?
"Can I help you?"
"Yes, ma'am..I'm here to renew my license." I hand her my expiring license, noting the younger,good lookin', naive man who had more hair back then, and the number tag which was "25."
"Do you want the gold star?"
"Huh?" I swear to God and sonny Jesus, she sighed and rolled her eyes.
Now, I'm paraphrasing here a bit because I was confused and my Ma's good rule went out the proverbial fucking window.
"Sigh...the gold star...it's federal law..October...Federal ID act, blah blah blah."
"Huh? Isn't a driver's license a state ID?"
"Yes, but you have to show an ID when you fly or when you enter federal buildings, including some banks. If you don't have a gold star then you wont
be able to fly, nor go onto any military...Federal...bank...blah blah blah."
At this point, I envision her standing there, not relaxed, but stiff, and rigid....and with a German accent..."may I zee your papers?"
"What do I need to do to receive a gold star on my homework," I ask in a sarcastic prick of a way?
"Sigh...you need a birth certificate, or a valid passport."
"Well, I didn't bring either one of those, but I did bring a recent property tax evaluation, which is a genuine document straight from someplace official," I stated in a sarcastic prick of a manner.
"Guess, I'll just take the decaffinated plain 'ol driver's license, and try to avoid flying, visiting any federal real estate and avoiding any military installations, fraulein." OK..I didn't SAY fraulein, but you can bet your sweet ass, I was thinking it.
"Sigh..when you come back in, you will be charged eight dollars for the upgrade blah blah blah..."
Got my picture toooook.
"You'll have to take an eye test. You can move the viewer into a comfortable position."
"Hey...this thing isn't gonna scan my retinas is it?" Chuckle...thinking it might break her sourpuss mood. It didn't.
"Read line five please."
Looking...
"Line five.'
"I can't read it."
"You can''t read it?'
"I can't read it."
"Read line four then."
"I can't read line four...I can't read line one...well..there might be an 'n' and maybe an 'r.'
"You can't read any of the lines?"
"Not with my right eye...no."
"Can you see anything out of that eye?"
"Yeah, I can see the lines, I can see a few of the letters, but they jumble up a bit, and it still works good enough to recognize a fuckin' bitch when it sees one"....OK. I didn't say that, but I was thinking it.
"What happened to your eye?"
I tried to think of something cool, something Snake Pliskin-esque here, but i couldn't think of anything in a hurry.
"Born that way, I guess."
I took the vision test with the left eye and could read every single letter!
"The law says you have to have only one good eye to drive."
She took my $22, and gave me a paper ID for the meantime, reminding me that they COULD NOT print me a replacement. Of course not....
I thanked her, bid her nice day, and walked out of that dismal dungeon, noting the sour-looking faces on the poor bastards who were waiting with numbers 26 to god knows what, waiting for their chance at parole.
Seriously, I ask you now, are we living in Nazi Germany at this point?