George Noory Sucks! - The Definitive Compendium

[Who]

Jorch should be most grateful for all of the sub-human, knuckle-dragger, uneducated, pig-ignorant, credulous, possibly racist, inbred, toothless, science-fearing fuckwits who make up a large portion of Jorch's core audience, and who keep Jorch sitting pretty with a large bank account and an endless supply of pizza rolls, black wigs, and moustache dye.

Ed and Roland put in long hours at the taxidermy shop.  They look forward to staying up all night hearing the "truth" from George and his gang of pseudo-scientists, nutjobs and hucksters.

[Major Ed Damien]

If you're not a member (what, you're not?) here's the preview: http://www.gaiamtv.com/video/ghost-rockets-sky-micah-hanks

George's first words in the preview begin with his trademark bad grammar:


"Ghost rockets, to me, sounds (sic) like some technology based on this planet by a nation that is starting to experiment."

[nextgen.fm]

George's first words in the preview begin with his trademark bad grammar:


"Ghost rockets, to me, sounds (sic) like some technology based on this planet by a nation that is starting to experiment."

good Lord George...

[Who]

Premiere Broadcasting announced today that Liberace will be the new weeknight host of Coast to Coast AM.  Despite being dead since 1987, Premiere is betting that Liberace will ask more insightful questions of the guests and be a more attentive interviewer and host.

[Major Ed Damien]

Here's the dead give-away that George is wearing a bad wig:

The little fronds of hair in the front that are strategically placed separately from the rest of the mass are supposed to make the wig look "more natural."  Of course, the over-attempt to look natural -- as if these strands naturally got loose from the rest of the sham hair -- only succeed in making the whole project look more laughable.  Credit goes to my barber for his expert testimony.

Also, why is George dressed like a gangster in the interview?

He looks like the doofus mobster known in the Gambino family as "Georgie the Rat Rug."


A.K.A. "Georgie Rug Rat,"  "Georgie Rat,"  "Georgie One Rug," "Georgie Rat Rug," "Georgie Double-R," and simply "the Rat."

[nextgen.fm]

I was very taken aback and frightened when I saw him without his stache


Both Art Bell and George should keep their mustaches

[Morgus]

A screengrab image of Noory without his moustache from the Gaiam TV preview video.

[Major Ed Damien]

"Georgie the Rat Rug" was known to be so stupid that he was almost killed by a nearly-dead fellow mobster from the Colombo crime family.

Georgie stuck a too-small ice-pick into the man's head, and the victim pulled it out and tried to stick it into Georgie's head.  Fortunately, or unfortunately -- depending on how you look at it -- the ice-pick and the man's fist snagged on "The Rat's" heavily-sprayed hairpiece, which, by all accounts saved Georgie's life. 

He went on to fail at loan-sharking -- which he pronounced "loan-shraykeen," -- and restaurant arson, until he was severely burned after pouring from a gasoline can directly onto a poorly-started fire.  The gasoline can exploded, burning off Georgie's wig, his dyed mustache, dyed-eyebrows, dyed side-burns and 95 percent of the rest of his face and head.

Emergency room physicians later stated that the high chemical content of the combined dyes, along with the hairspray, was largely responsible for the severity of these injuries.

His insurance company, of course, would not cover the loss of his face nor the hairpiece, which he claimed was a "very, very unbelievably high-end model." 

"Georgie the Rat Rug" is due to receive one of the new Obamacare face transplants sometime in mid-2015, the reviews for which are surprisingly positive.

[136 or 142]

Posted a couple more Twilight Zone stories on Paranormal Activity.

[ItsOver]

Woo Hoo!  Three Noory-free nights, two with Good Dave and one with Knapp.  I might actually listen to C2C.

[albrecht]

Maybe they will do the job properly this time. Why the heck are they having a UFO convention in a backwater border town like Del Rio?

Booking mistake by hosts most likely. Thought it was about the other kind of "aliens."
-GNS

[GeorgieForPresident2216]

Booking mistake by hosts most likely. Thought it was about the other kind of "aliens."
-GNS

If extra-terrestrials are living on their home worlds, can they still be called aliens? Would it be accurate to say I believe in extra-terrestrials but not aliens if I don't believe they are visiting us?

[PB the Deplorable]

I was very taken aback and frightened when I saw him without his stache...

The more hair covering George (real or fake) the better - for everyone

[zeebo]

Thirty lessons for loving?  This is horrible.  This is the lowest low in Coast's disasterous history.

Reading this last nite I had to instantly shut off my radio, and turn on a kick-ass kung fu movie to make things right again.

[Major Ed Damien]

George and his final guest last night stroked each other's backs so psychotically that I thought I had stumbled into a massage parlor for the criminally insane.

[ItsOver]

The more hair covering George (real or fake) the better - for everyone

Jorch should go with the Cousin Itt look.  He could be a prop for ZZ Top.

[Major Ed Damien]

George came up with an extraordinarily original thought experiment on last night's show:


"Live each day as if it's your last."


I'd rather wish each day was your last, George.  You and the vaccination kook lady.


He said he liked to read Wikipedia -- and learn about the lives of Dean Martin, Sammy Davis Jr. and Frank Sinatra -- "because I live in Los Angeles."

George said those celebrities had one important thing in common:  "They're all dead.  So live each day as if it's your last."

What the connection is between those two sentences, I have no idea -- and neither does anyone else.

[ItsOver]

 

If you're not a member (what, you're not?) here's the preview: http://www.gaiamtv.com/video/ghost-rockets-sky-micah-hanks

Jorch looks like a cartoon character from "South Park" without the stache.  Come to think of it, he looks and acts like a "South Park" character, with or without the stache.

[GeorgieForPresident2216]

Reading this last nite I had to instantly shut off my radio, and turn on a kick-ass kung fu movie to make things right again.

I didn't actually listen after that introduction either, so I hope I didn't throw you off a good interview.  Maybe I'm just a man who is missing his heart .

[GeorgieForPresident2216]

George came up with an extraordinarily original thought experiment on last night's show:


"Live each day as if it's your last."


I'd rather wish each day was your last, George.  You and the vaccination kook lady.


He said he liked to read Wikipedia -- and learn about the lives of Dean Martin, Sammy Davis Jr. and Frank Sinatra -- "because I live in Los Angeles."

George said those celebrities had one important thing in common:  "They're all dead.  So live each day as if it's your last."

What the connection is between those two sentences, I have no idea -- and neither does anyone else.

That's bad advice from George.  Some of his audience may realize they don't want to spend their last day  listening to a tool interview a screw.

[nextgen.fm]

The Barfing Queen

He can puke, he can jive, having the turmeric time of his life
See George Noory, watch his scene, digging the Barfing Queen

Coast To Coast and his brains turned off
Looking out for the place to barf
Where they push the right wing, getting in the ‘shwing’
He looks up his portal for an angel’s wing
If he had a soul he'd sell it for a pizza roll

All his callers drive a truck
Night is young and the bumpers suck
With demons and dead babies, everything is sick
He’s in the mood for Two-Ton Tommy's stick
And when he gets the chance
He'll rub his 'stache and prance

Georgie’s the Barfing Queen, ghoulish and a bore, only sixty-four
Barfing Queen, watch his toupe hit the floor
He can puke, he can jive, having the turmeric time of his life
See George Noory, watch his scene, digging the Barfing Queen

It’s jess “ahmaazzing”, how he reads those cards
Leaves us laughing and then he’s gone
Off with UFO Phil, or any nerd will do
He’s in the mood for a Linda lap dance
And if he gets the chance...

Georgie’s the Barfing Queen, ghoulish and a bore, only sixty-four
Barfing Queen, see his toupe hit the floor
He can puke, he can jive, having the turmeric time of his life
See George Noory, watch his scene, digging the Barfing Queen.

That was excellent


I give it 5 out of 5 Pizza rolls

[nextgen.fm]

A screengrab image of Noory without his moustache from the Gaiam TV preview video.

Wait! That DOES NOT even look like him!!!

[Major Ed Damien]

That's bad advice from George.  Some of his audience may realize they don't want to spend their last day  listening to a tool interview a screw.

Hahahahahahahaha


Well said.


I added another George Fact to the thread you started.

[nextgen.fm]

that's it


i can't take it knowing george is broadcasting behind the bronze C2C premrat microphone without his mustache


my fantasy is shattered

[NoMoreNoory]

A screengrab image of Noory without his moustache from the Gaiam TV preview video.

Joorch needs to get to work with the eyebrow-dye and keep them matched to the shoe-polish black of his rug. I've always noticed, too, that something weird always seem to be going on with his sideburns, like they're badly glued down.

[NoMoreNoory]

Joorch was indulging in self-congratulation last night over people always assuming he's in his late 40s. He extruded from this some weird theory that means he's going to live to be about 115. This is bad news, Gabbers. Another 50 years of Suckage. And even those of our number in their 20s can't be certain of still being around for the glorious night on which Tommee has to come to the microphone on the other side of the carnivora commercial and tell us 'We've lost him. He's gone'.


The good news is that the torch is being passed to the next generation of haturz. My girlfriend's kids hear us laughing at him and trading Nooryisms all the time. Today, her son informed her that they had pizza rolls at school and he had said to his sister 'I'm going to throw one into the back of my throat and burn my little flapper thingy'.

[popple]

A screengrab image of Noory without his moustache from the Gaiam TV preview video.

His bare lip is too sexual. It needs to be censored.

[136 or 142]

Posted two more Twilight Zone comic book stories.

[Richard Groyper]

Ole' Dave is still on the air? Wow! Anyways, it's been a long time since I've posted. I understand Sardondi is MIA? Hopefully Morgus is still posting...I'll be lurking in the mean time.

[zeebo]

Ole' Dave is still on the air? Wow! Anyways, it's been a long time since I've posted. I understand Sardondi is MIA? Hopefully Morgus is still posting...I'll be lurking in the mean time.

Hi boba, alas I have not seen Sardondi post in a very long while.  In good news, our noble Morgus is still providing us useful insights.