The General Musings of Falkie2013 (George Senda, The Guy From Pittsburgh)

[Norm]

Oh and one more thing about how funeral homes are dealing with cremating obese people.

The first thing that some funeral homes and crematories are doing is installing a wider cremation chamber or retort, enabling them to cremate overweight cases.  A standard cremation chamber door once used to measure 33 inches â€" now XL cremation machines with openings as wide as 43 and 52 inches are available.  These supersize machines can perform a cremation at 150 pounds per hour and cater for bodies up to 1000 pounds!
Funeral homes are also adapting their pricing structure.  A ‘standard’ cremation price will cater for a deceased person up to 300 pounds.  Some funeral homes are now specifying an incremental surcharge for an oversize cremation â€" by weight.  For example, they may charge a fee of approximately $50 for a body over 300 pounds, and a further $50 for each 100-pound excess.

So how much more will an oversize cremation cost?

An oversize cremation is likely to cost you at least $100 - $500 more than a standard cremation.  The additional costs that you could incur are:
Transportation costs if the deceased has to be transported to nearest oversize crematory facility (this is generally an additional per mile mileage fee)
Extra cost for an oversize cremation container
Excess weight cremation charge
As there are limited resources for oversize cremation at present, we may see these additional costs reduce as more facilities become available.
With government watchdogs forecasting that over 50% of the U.S. population could be clinically obese by 2030, and the cremation rate forecast to rise to 60% by 2025, there certainly is going to be more demand for oversize cremation facilities.

If you are planning a cremation for someone who weighs over 400 pounds, you do need to ensure you specify this when making arrangements.  You need to ensure that the funeral company can actually facilitate an oversize cremation, and that you get an accurate price quote.

[Happier Times are Coming]

We can do it !
A send off, the Falkie would be proud of !
Backhoes lined up
Cranes lined up
Dump truck lined up
Goliath Casket lined up
Septic tank lined up
Still working

[Happier Times are Coming]

Norm,
There are "certain" dangers exposing all that combustible FAT to the extreme high temperatures

[Happier Times are Coming]

My opinion is (keep the damn EPA in the dark) and just bury the FAT BASTARD

[Happier Times are Coming]

Just checked on specs
I don't think the lid will close ?
Oh well, Duck tape has found another use !

[Happier Times are Coming]

CLARIFICATION ON REASON FALKIE SHOULD NOT BE CREMATED
'Overly obese' body sparks Ohio funeral home fire
27 April 2017
US & Canada
The Hillside Chapel Crematory in Cincinnati, Ohio
A crematorium in Ohio caught fire while burning the remains of an "overly obese" body, according to the owner.

Don Catchen said the corpse caused flames to engulf one of his crematorium units in the city of Cincinnati.

The fat in the body burned at a higher temperature, prompting the blaze, said the city fire chief.

The blog Confessions of a Funeral Director describes a blaze resulting from the cremation of a morbidly obese person as a "grease fire".

No other parts of the building were damaged, Mr Catchen said.

The fire was contained to the garage where the crematory unit is located, he told BBC News.

The fire began at 21:40 (01:40 GMT) on Wednesday and took about two hours to put out, Mr Catchen told local news outlet WCPO.

"My operator was in the process of cremating remains and [the body] was overly obese and apparently it got a little hotter than the unit is supposed to get," Mr Catchen added.

The Hillside Chapel Crematory in Cincinnati, Ohio
"One of the cremation containers that we had close got caught on fire and that's what burnt."

No other bodies were damaged in the fire, he said.

"We believe there were some combustible storage boxes that were too close to the ovens," said Cincinnati Fire Chief Michael Washington.

Mr Catchen added the fireproof unit is made of concrete block with a steel roof, but also has a rubberised roof.

A similar blaze at a Virginia facility in October 2014 occurred during the cremation of a 500lb (226kg) body.

[Happier Times are Coming]

We don't wish Falkie to go down in history as Mrs. O'Leary's cow did in Chicago as the reason for the "Great Fire" !
Do we ?

[Happier Times are Coming]

I just thought...
with George gone, we may NEVER FIND OUT what really happened
to Kathy ?
remember her bleeding pussy and possible cancer as told by Falkie on a Humdinger video ?
about the great assault and robbery at WalMart ?
remember the "larceny by trick" he had a gofundme for ?
results from his Craigslist ?
his pity full attempt to sell cat food donated to him supposedly for poor starving feral kitty cats ?

[whoozit]

This season sucks

[WOTR]

This season sucks

Like any sudden, drastic change, you need to give it time.  When the entire group of writers were fired, there was speculation that this thread would not even be renewed for another season.  After the surprise renewal they had to scramble and are just trying to find a plot (pun intended.) 

[3OctaveFart]

The show peaked when it became essentially a bloopers and practical jokes vehicle, circa fall 2016.

Talk about a genre that has had constancy, with all that has changed on television. Everyone from Bill Shakespeare to the Falkie writers have known you always need a good fool.

[Norm]

My opinion is (keep the damn EPA in the dark) and just bury the FAT BASTARD

I agree, the danger of fire is too great. Martinez is too close to major oil and gas refineries. Bring out the backhoes, bring out the crane but bury the casket deep as the decomposing body will emit hazardous fumes and possibly explosive gases that will rise up to the surface of the ground. Duck tape will eventually fail and just the thought of a huge natural explosion is too much to bare.

OH THE PAIN........

[Norm]

Continuing....

"We can't stop biology. All organisms will decompose eventually, including the corpses protected by marble walls and rubber strips. Autolysis, or self-digestion, begins shortly after death, even before funeral providers can be contacted. As oxygen is depleted, anaerobic organisms begin to dismantle the body, transforming the remnants of a person into organic acids and gases. In the appropriately (and disgustingly) named bloat phase of decomposition, the accumulation of gases causes the putrefying body to, well, bloat as tissues soften and liquefy.

Exploding casket syndrome, as it is known in the death industry, occurs when these decomposition processes are not given adequate space to perform. In her awesome "Ask a Mortician" series, mortician Caitlin Doughty says, "You really want a decomposing body to have access to some sort of air so it can then dehydrate. But if it's one of those super sealed protective caskets, there's really no place for all of that gas and fluid to go and so the body can kind of turn into sort of a bog."

[Norm]

The show peaked when it became essentially a bloopers and practical jokes vehicle, circa fall 2016.

Talk about a genre that has had constancy, with all that has changed on television. Everyone from Bill Shakespeare to the Falkie writers have known you always need a good fool.

George will not be forgotten, a special one hour memorial broadcast is currently being prepared and will sent to Norry for a Coast Special Presentation, "The Guy from Pittsburg"

[Happier Times are Coming]

I agree, the danger of fire is too great. Martinez is too close to major oil and gas refineries. Bring out the backhoes, bring out the crane but bury the casket deep as the decomposing body will emit hazardous fumes and possibly explosive gases that will rise up to the surface of the ground. Duck tape will eventually fail and just the thought of a huge natural explosion is too much to bare.

OH THE PAIN........

Ah, I have it !
MEL'S HOLE !
We will hire a wide load transport with the required escorts and ha the FAT BASTARD to Washington State and have a crane dump his FAT ASS in Mel's Hole !
*problem solved

[Happier Times are Coming]

The show peaked when it became essentially a bloopers and practical jokes vehicle, circa fall 2016.

Talk about a genre that has had constancy, with all that has changed on television. Everyone from Bill Shakespeare to the Falkie writers have known you always need a good fool.

WTF ?
You think this thread is a "Breaking Bad" series ?
THIS IS FALKIE, NOT A %<^*+= SCRIPT FOR SOME HALF WIT SERIES !
(are you "challenged" in the brain area ?)

[Happier Times are Coming]

Continuing....

"We can't stop biology. All organisms will decompose eventually, including the corpses protected by marble walls and rubber strips. Autolysis, or self-digestion, begins shortly after death, even before funeral providers can be contacted. As oxygen is depleted, anaerobic organisms begin to dismantle the body, transforming the remnants of a person into organic acids and gases. In the appropriately (and disgustingly) named bloat phase of decomposition, the accumulation of gases causes the putrefying body to, well, bloat as tissues soften and liquefy.

Exploding casket syndrome, as it is known in the death industry, occurs when these decomposition processes are not given adequate space to perform. In her awesome "Ask a Mortician" series, mortician Caitlin Doughty says, "You really want a decomposing body to have access to some sort of air so it can then dehydrate. But if it's one of those super sealed protective caskets, there's really no place for all of that gas and fluid to go and so the body can kind of turn into sort of a bog."

POINT WELL MADE !
We shall insist on a 30 foot exhaust pipe from the "Ducked Taped" casket, while it is transported to Mel's Hole

[Lilith]

Ah, I have it !
MEL'S HOLE !
We will hire a wide load transport with the required escorts and ha the FAT BASTARD to Washington State and have a crane dump his FAT ASS in Mel's Hole !
*problem solved

Or maybe the hole in Siberia with the sounds of Hell?


https://youtu.be/bvnxeX2SQso

[Happier Times are Coming]

George will not be forgotten, a special one hour memorial broadcast is currently being prepared and will sent to Norry for a Coast Special Presentation, "The Guy from Pittsburg"

I have on good authority that not only will President Trump offer his thoughts but Crooked Hillary Clinton, Low (very low) Energy Jen Bush, Bernie Sanders, Anthony "Weiner", Queen Elizabeth, DPS, Area 51 Drone, Jason Callan, The "Sweet Kathy Fleshy Mutant Love Doll", Ratty Patty, Inside Man, White Crow, MV, Miley Cyrus, Willie Nelson, The Menedez Brothers, George Noory, Art Bell, Heather "Redacted" Wade, Malachi Martin, Terrence McKenna, Alexander Shulgin, Monica Lewinski, Chelsea Clinton, James Comey, Aunt Jemima, Barrack Obama, Martha Stewart.......
THE LIST IS CONTINUALLY GROWING....
are ALL wanting to offer a "few words" about how Falkie "Thr Guy from Pittsburgh" has influenced and changed their life !!!!

[Happier Times are Coming]

Damn,
I FORGOT TO MENTION THE POPE !!
Pope Francis and President Trump are going to discuss and issue a joint statement concerning the "Falkie Passing" and what it means to the world

[Happier Times are Coming]

ALL YOU PEOPLE WHO JUST THINK FALKIE IS JUST A STUPID SHORT BUS FAT BASTARD
Well, I am here to tell you different !
He was our modern day Christ !
Jewish, as was Christ
Attempted to provide us with the wisdom to walk the "right path"
As did Christ
Mocked, laughed at, scorned and crucified
As was Christ
***waiting for him to rise from the dead (again), my count will be NUMER THREE !
Christ only "pulled this of once"
ENOUGH SAID....just think about it

[Northern Nights]

A luxury casket lined with Persian cat fur would be nice
Nothing but the best for our Falkie
He was, after all, the biggest cat lover West of the Rockies
Poor, poor Falkie
R.I.P. 

[Northern Nights]

Maybe Falkie will find a way to contact us from beyond the grave
There have been incidents where people have received phone calls from the dead
It's a real thing
Perhaps he will make more YouTube videos this way
I will keep a watch for "The Ghost From Pittsburgh"
A new YouTube channel
Maybe even live videos from the hereafter!
There is always hope

[Northern Nights]

If Falkie does start posting videos again
Maybe he will consent to an interview with Heather Wade
Appearing as "the man who came back from the dead"
Four times!
Perhaps Art Bell would return to do the interview himself
Imagine the ratings
It would be the paranormal event of the century

[Northern Nights]

Here's a thought
What if Falkie really isn't dead?
What if he's decided to fake his own death?
It could be the most profitable thing he's ever done
An interview with Art Bell/Heather Wade/George Noory and many others
New videos on YouTube as a fake dead guy
Thousands of new subscribers
Fame and fortune as "The World's First and Only YouTube Star From Beyond The Grave"
He could be on the verge of The Greatest Grift Of All

[Happier Times are Coming]

The Elders are awaiting the return of Falkie.

[Happier Times are Coming]

 NOT COUNTING this forthcoming anticipated "raised from the dead" episode...
just how many times has he already accomplished this feat ?
THREE ?
FOUR ?
MORE ?

[FallenSeraph]

Falkie is live on YT right now. I think I'm the only one watching. Awkward.

[FallenSeraph]

Mainly he's just whacking his broken keyboard. This can't be real.

[FallenSeraph]

He needs money for new glasses.

I don't think I'm going to live blog this.