George Noory Sucks! - The Definitive Compendium

[Juan Cena]

Klinger did a great job!  He took dimwitted lead-balloon questions and managed to spin them into Swiss Gold!

Anybody trying to pass George Noory off as a book enthusiast, though, might as well be trying to pass the Ebola virus off as a vitamin supplement.

He should be rewarded with four hours with Knapp.

[Juan Cena]

True, the only good, informed questions came from the callers, most of whom had some first-hand familiarity with actual books.

I though about calling in ans asking Klinger his thoughts about the Elementary and Sherlock series. Snorge has probably never heard of either one of them.

[Major Ed Damien]

George:  "What percentage of police don't want to shoot you?  I would imagine that's a high number."


I still can't get over this question George had for the policeman/author last night.

It's possibly the most contorted kissing of an ass I think I've ever witnessed.

Of all the hundreds of ways an ass can be kissed, George's head actually went between his own legs, out the back end, twisted its neck and planted a big fat wet one right on the brown bull's eye of that man's anus.

God, it was hilarious. 

[Rico999]

I see that Jerome Corsi's going to be on tonight to pump his book about the Battle of the Bulge.  Good buddy George is always glad to help out an abiotic-oil believer and who always provides reliable "analysis" on world events that George can sort of understand.

Corsi has said that he's "always wanted to write a book about the Battle of the Bulge."  I'm wondering why he's waited until just about all the participants are dead to write his book?   

The ads say that the book "saved the war for the Allies."  Crap.  The Second World War was won in the Soviet Union at Stalingrad and Kursk.  What stopping the Wehrmacht drive to the sea did was allow the western Allies to drive into Germany and keep western Europe out of the Soviet bloc.  The war was already won by December 1944.

If you're interested though, in the Battle of the Bulge, I highly recommend 101st Airborne veteran Donald R. Burgett's "Seven Roads to Hell."  He was a 19 year old paratrooper and his story is gripping.  What those guys went through in that bitter cold environment was truly heroic.

Burgett's written several other books about his experiences (including landing behind the lines in Normandy and the 72 day fight behind the lines at Arnhem, prior to the adventure at Bastonge) and all are excellent page turners.  He's still alive, too -- 89 years old.

Another great scholarly work is "The Ardennes -- 1944-45 Hitler's Winter Offensive," by Christer Bergstrom.   

[Major Ed Damien]

Can somebody please explain this "abiotic oil" theory George Noory and Jerome Corsi promote?

The best I can gather by listening to the show -- and being too lazy to Google "abiotic oil" myself -- the earth is like some kind of giant pussy.

And like a pussy -- and also what's so great about a pussy -- it can make its own gravy.

It'd be as if your Thanksgiving stuffing or mashed potatoes could make their own turkey gravy right there on your fucking plate.

But, instead, it's the earth.

I can't think of anything more awesome than abiotic oil. 

[coaster]

Donald R. Burgett's "Seven Roads to Hell." 


The Ardennes -- 1944-45 Hitler's Winter Offensive," by Christer Bergstrom.

on the list. thanks.

[GeorgieForPresident2216]

Can somebody please explain this "abiotic oil" theory George Noory and Jerome Corsi promote?

The best I can gather by listening to the show -- and being too lazy to Google "abiotic oil" myself -- the earth is like some kind of giant pussy.

And like a pussy -- and also what's so great about a pussy -- it can make its own gravy.

It'd be as if your Thanksgiving stuffing or mashed potatoes could make their own turkey gravy right there on your fucking plate.

But, instead, it's the earth.

I can't think of anything more awesome than abiotic oil.

That's at least as good as George's understanding.

[GeorgieForPresident2216]

That's at least as good as George's understanding.

By the way, is Corsi the guy who doesn't believe oil is produced from dead organisms because he dug up the dog he had buried as a child and it hadn't turned to oil?

[Mind Flayer Monk]

"Jerome Corsi... recent work on the Siege of Bastogne...focus on the surprising faith of the Americans who fought there..."

What was so surprising about their faith? Did they worship the Flying Spaghetti Monster? That would be surprising.

[narcissist noory]

GN-" This is amazing work jerry, really well done"
 
  The name is Jerome and how would you know shithead

[Major Ed Damien]

George:  "Without this great victory, we'd all be speaking German today."



Damn.

If George had won the war, we'd all be speaking that weird vernacular George speaks:

"That's all so very dramatic, as well."

"Buzz-are."

"Unn-bullee-bubble."

[NoMoreNoory]

Joorch - without reference to any specific content, of course: that would require actually reading the damn things - tells Corsi that his books are 'very thought provocative'.

[coaster]

GN-" This is amazing work jerry, really well done"
 
 

Sometimes I think it would be funny if George fell and landed on something sharp.

[Major Ed Damien]

Joorch - without reference to any specific content, of course: that would require actually reading the damn things - tells Corsi that his books are 'very thought provocative'.

Are you implying that Joorch is just yanking Corsi's dick about all these books he so carefully researched and wouldn't even use one as a doorstop or to kill a cockroach loose in the studio?

I think you're on to something here.

[gnooryblows]

"well, interesting take after all that", why do i get the feeling george just looked up from his really hard suduku puzzle to interject that masterful commentary.

[Major Ed Damien]

George is "dramatically" stunned by:

A.  The fact that the event took place 70 years ago.

B.  Few people who participated in a 70 year-old-event remain alive.

C.  How many pages you'd have to turn to finish one of these things.

[Major Ed Damien]

I'm trying to identify this odd accent Jerome Corsi speaks.

It sounds a lot like Quack/Fascist with slight nod to effeminate.  I wouldn't be surprised to learn he spoke in that manner because of a codpiece.

[GeorgieForPresident2216]

"well, interesting take after all that", why do i get the feeling george just looked up from his really hard suduku puzzle to interject that masterful commentary.

Like this one?

[attachimg=1]

[Morgus]

Tonight, Noory is pretending he is airing on the History Channel?

[Major Ed Damien]

George's heroic moment in the Navy came when -- during his assignment as a public affairs officer (PAO, aka "turd polisher") -- he wrote a press release with no spelling errors about an upcoming dance at the Officer's Club which exhorted the attendants to wear disco costumes.

[Nebraska888]

George's heroic moment in the Navy came when -- during his assignment as a public affairs officer (PAO, aka "turd polisher") -- he wrote a press release with no spelling errors about an upcoming dance at the Officer's Club which exhorted the attendants to wear disco costumes.

You are on a hilarious "roll" tonight!  Love it!   

[Major Ed Damien]

You are on a hilarious "roll" tonight!  Love it!   

Thanks!

'Til the break of dawn, baby!

[NoMoreNoory]

Joorch tells a toe-curlingly embarrassing tale. 'I was with someone today,' he begins, in his cosy fireside voice. He didn't know this person, but they were not feeling very happy. No further details other than, like a lot of his 'slice-of-life' yarns, it took place in 'a restaurant that I frequent'. So Joorch proffers a copy of the Coast Xmas CD and, presto!, all this persons blues were banished, the sun came out and the world was a beautiful place again. It was, said Joorch, as though Santa himself had descended from the clouds to deliver this great cure-all in person.
How wonderful. How obviously a Wonderful Life fantasy. How patently invented. How in the hell does this sack of shit keep getting away with it?


-GNS

[Major Ed Damien]

End of the world, coming up next!

Don't get left behind!

[Major Ed Damien]

Joorch tells a toe-curlingly embarrassing tale. 'I was with someone today,' he begins, in his cosy fireside voice. He didn't know this person, but they were not feeling very happy. No further details other than, like a lot of his 'slice-of-life' yarns, it took place in 'a restaurant that I frequent'. So Joorch proffers a copy of the Coast Xmas CD and, presto!, all this persons blues were banished, the sun came out and the world was a beautiful place again. It was, said Joorch, as though Santa himself had descended from the clouds to deliver this great cure-all in person.
How wonderful. How obviously a Wonderful Life fantasy. How patently invented. How in the hell does this sack of shit keep getting away with it?


-GNS

Simple.

H.L. Mencken noticed it decades ago.

"No one ever went broke underestimating the intelligence of the American people."

[GeorgieForPresident2216]

George is going to put Joel Richardson's dog Bukake on the prayer list.

Kidding, the dog's name was Ashter or something like that.

[Major Ed Damien]

"How did you get interested in the end of the world?"

"When did the end of the world become your passion?"

[Mind Flayer Monk]

End of the world talk and Little Nicky is on HBO. This is a sign.

[Major Ed Damien]

The guy is talking about the end of the world in such a bored, neutral tone.

You'd think the end of the world would inspire the barest crotch hair of enthusiasm in the son-of-a-bitch.

But, no, he's the voice of Ambien.

It actually makes me yearn for the final countdown.

[Major Ed Damien]

George:  "Any surprises when you put your documentary together?"



HE'S TALKING ABOUT THE END OF THE WORLD, YOU LOBOTOMIZED FREAK!

CAN YOU KINDLY SPARE US THE CANNED GODDAMNED QUESTIONS FOR ONCE IN YOUR LIFE BEFORE WE ALL FACE THE APOCALYPSE?