This week's 90210 report

[Caruthers612]

    [Intrepid reporter pulls pencil from behind ear, licks tip, scribbles something on news copy, then leans into mic]
    "Last week, this reporter brought you news of the immense girth of Jenny Garth. The huge, ever-widening collection of ass, hips, and flanks comprising the lower quarters of this formerly petite young flower have caused the Federal Aviation Administration to commission a  new study on the need for widening the average airplane seat to the new "Jenny" size.
    "Meanwhile, this week's installment of the evening soap opera has brought to our attention the unexpected and equally frightening width of co-star Shannen Doherty. The actress, now tipping the scales at a good 220 pounds and measuring a solid meter across at the hips, is being considered for use in bunker reinforcement technology to be employed by our nation's troops in Iraq.
    "Until next week, this is your intrepid reported, signing off."

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