D-D-D-Disconection...<shudder>

[Caruthers612]

     Ok...Everyone remain calm. It happens. We all know it. It happened to me today. All day. The power went out early in the mornin', didn't come back up till midnight. And then...THEN...it seemed for a short while that...<gulp> something had happened to the internet connection, 'cause <AAA!!!!> it wouldn't connect.
     One had a number of options at such moments, of course. Lengthwise wristcutting with a rusty nail. A full bottle of rubbing alcohol right down the hatch. Looking at a picture of Tammy Fay Baker.
     How do you deal with the Disconnect Jitters? Me, I go right to the needle.

M

[Max]

I find a book and look at it and decide if after looking at the cover for 20 minutes, that its not interesting enough to read.....

[MV/Liberace!]

i usually sit down and breathe deeply in the nose and then out the mouth slowly.

sometimes i'll EVEN go outside.  can you believe that, in 2008?

[Camazotz Automat]

I retrieve:

1 long burning candle
1 Mirado Black Warrior 2HB pencil and manual sharpener
1 book of ruled paper

Write strange shit until the power returns. 
Transfer said writing to digital format.
Execute 2.5 rewrites.
Print. 4 days will have passed by now.
Send to ------ --- -----.

If the above proves successful, take .22 rifle and put ten to twelve slugs in local electrical power relay station's oil-cooled components and initiate process again.

Best done on a Friday night.  The whole town may have to suffer for my art, but I suffer the most. 

Speaking of which, below is a recent digital endeavor in surrealism.  I suffered while creating it.  Ideally, it should cause a slightly uncomfortable laugh upon viewing.

CAMAZOTZ  AUTOMAT

[EvB]

i usually sit down and breathe deeply in the nose and then out the mouth slowly.

sometimes i'll EVEN go outside.  can you believe that, in 2008?

We've had almost THREE WEEKS of intermittent electrical storms here with SHEETS of rain (and, given that I have a big dog - yes I've gone outside in it- YUCK!) .  LORD have I been lucky.  I need a UPS BADLY - since even my heavy-duty power strips are not enough to protect me in the rapid brown-out cycles we get.  (can you imagine as many as FIVE dim-and-brighten cycles in under two minuets!!?)

As you know - the PC is not only my obsession, it's my livelihood.  And - I don't own a laptop.  Siiiiiigh

[PhantasticSanShiSan]

That kid, Johnny Crawdaddy, looks like a young Anthony Quinn.

[Pirate King Atomsk]

"Raised deep within the Louisiana bayous, for centuries he dwelt in seclusion...now he has emerged to use his powers to fight the evils of neo-conservatism. Prepare for the amazing adventures of Johnny Crawdaddy and his sidekick, Boudin Boy!" 

On the topic of losing your connection..well, considering I do just about EVERYTHING online...that would suck.

..I guess I'd go spank it.

[Camazotz Automat]

That kid, Johnny Crawdaddy, looks like a young Anthony Quinn.

It's Johnny Crawford from "The Rifleman" - also a former Disney Rodenteer - now gone rogue crustacean after reading one too many Guy N. Smith crab books.  He's been a guest with Noory a few times.  Crawford, not Smith.

I can sometimes be found at The Official Guy N. Smith website raising unholy crab hell in the forum: 

http://www.guynsmith.com/

You never know where I'm going to show up.

I'm always watching.

CAMAZOTZ  AUTOMAT

[Caruthers612]

i usually sit down and breathe deeply in the nose and then out the mouth slowly.

sometimes i'll EVEN go outside.  can you believe that, in 2008?

Michael,

     I hope you take this in the spirit in which it is offered but, I think you are in SERIOUS DANGER. You went to the Above World, where you could have been exposed to fresh air or strains of Laura Branigan music coming from still functioning 8-track decks that survived the Cheese Wars. I urge you to remain indoors living on frozen entrees and diet cola. If you need counseling, I'm here for you, brother.

M

[EvB]

Michael,
If you need counseling, I'm here for you, brother.

M

I know where you are coming from Mordred - but - the man's got a DOG. It's one of the downsides of canine companionship - you GOTTA go to the Above World from time to time.

[Caruthers612]

On the topic of losing your connection..well, considering I do just about EVERYTHING online...that would suck.

..I guess I'd go spank it.

      "Ding! Ding! Ding!" Pirate wins it! The all-expenses-paid trip to the Bohemian Grove dressed as Sheila the Belly Dancer. <Spanks forehead> Spank it! Why didn't I think of that? The power was only out for eighteen hours--that's the perfect amount of time for a spank-a-thon. I can see I've met my match with you, Pirate. Onya, mate.

M

[EvB]

      "Ding! Ding! Ding!" Pirate wins it! The all-expenses-paid trip to the Bohemian Grove dressed as Sheila the Belly Dancer. <Spanks forehead> Spank it! Why didn't I think of that? The power was only out for eighteen hours--that's the perfect amount of time for a spank-a-thon. I can see I've met my match with you, Pirate. Onya, mate.

M

Okay - you guys are a couple of SERIOUSLY twisted F#cks.  I like that in a man.

[PhantasticSanShiSan]

Okay - you guys are a couple of SERIOUSLY twisted F#cks.  I like that in a man.

*fill in your punchline here*

......because I don't have the balls to do it myself.

BTW, thanks cam.  I just finished reading the last of Raymond E. Feist's books and was wondering what I could slip in before I start reading DUNE and it's spawn all over again. I'm gonna go hunting for Guy N. Smith books this weekend, especially any of the Crab Collection. Can't wait to get my own totally crustaceous arm! It'll be so ace.

REAL MEN SPANK IT WITH A CLAW!

[Camazotz Automat]

BTW, thanks cam.  I just finished reading the last of Raymond E. Feist's books and was wondering what I could slip in before I start reading DUNE and it's spawn all over again. I'm gonna go hunting for Guy N. Smith books this weekend, especially any of the Crab Collection. Can't wait to get my own totally crustaceous arm! It'll be so ace.

REAL MEN SPANK IT WITH A CLAW!

Here's a favorite quote:

Nothing else mattered...Not even the giant crabs. - From Night of the Crabs

Guy N. Smith delivers - writing well while lampooning horror at the same time. 

His books are almost always good time stealers - especially if one recently traveled to Bermuda and found himself on a white moonscape of a beach with some quiet time to ~kill~ as Pink-Bikini-Woman slept it off in the beach cottage.  It's just not the correct setting for perusing the work of Descartes, Smullyan, or Bacon. (Francis not Kevin.)

No, your stalky eyes need to read something that not only doesn't mind grains of sand between its pages, but seems to read better for it.   I applaud your sense of entertainment and wish you total immersion as you search, afterall, book hunting is not unlike crab hunting, especially in this case.  Watch your back.  Many a man has been murdered over a mint copy of CRABS: THE HUMAN SACRIFICE.

I've always felt Bermuda resembles a stylized crab claw, a sort of scaffolding, yet have yet to read an author describe it as such. 

This is an older postcard from my collection.  For a reason known only to me, I use it as a bookmarker in the Tibetan Book of the Dead:

CAMAZOTZ  AUTOMAT