George Noory Sucks! - The Definitive Compendium

[zeebo]

"Everything that's happy'een is unbeleefuhbull." -- George Noory

[zeebo]

Hey! 1900 Pages of Testimony!

We're only 100 pages from GNS2K!

[21st Century Man]

 What's the scariest movie you've ever seen, George?

George:  Real life. That's the scariest movie...


No, its not, you idiot.

[cowtown]

     "Ballad Of A Thin Man"

You walk into the studio
With your pizza roll in your hand
You see Two Ton Tommy naked
And you say, "Who is that man ?"
You try so hard
But you don't understand
Because Tommy left
The Index cards at home.

And something is happening here
But you don't know what it is
Do you, Mister Noory ?

You raise up your head
And you ask, "Is this a bad baby?"
And somebody points to you and says
"It's his"
And you say, "What's mine ?"
And somebody else says, "It’s tumeric "
And you say, "Oh my God
Am I completely out of pizza rolls ?"

And something is happening here
But you don't know what it is
Do you, Mister Noory?

You’ve got Glynnis’ number
And you go watch the Ed Dames geek
Who immediately walks up to you
When UFO Phil hears you speak
And he says, "How does it feel
To be such a freak ?"
And you say, "Impossible!
Call Lionel Farnthorpe!”
As Tommy disconnects the phone.

And something is happening here
But you don't know what it is
Do you, Mister Noory?

You have many contacts
Among right wing fear mongers
To get you facts
When someone attacks your imagination
But nobody has any respect
Anyway you already expect them
To all give a check
To Coast Insider and your on-line TV masquerader
You've been with Jerome Corsi
And he’s liked your Grecian Formula looks
With Alex Jones you have
Discussed C-A-R-N-I-V-O-R-A and retards
You've been through all of
Tommy’s 3x5 index cards
You're very well read
It's well known.

But something is happening here
And you don't know what it is
Do you, Mister Noory ?

Well, the dead baby, he comes up to you
And then he kneels
He crosses himself
And then he clicks his dead baby heels
And without further notice
He asks you how it feels
And he says, "I died a horrible death
You’ll want to hear about
In great detail
Do not disconnect the phone".

And you know something is happening
But you don't know what it is
Do you, Mister Noory ?

Now you see Linda Moulton Howe
Shouting the word "NOW"
And you say, "For what reason ?"
And she says, "How ?"
And you say, "What does this mean ?"
And she screams back, "You're a mutilated cow
Give me some milk
Or else go home".

Because something is happening
But you don't know what it is
Do you, Mister Noory?

Well, you walk into the room
Like a demon and then you frown
You put an angel up your portal
And your toupe on the ground
There ought to be a law
Against you comin' around
You should be made
To wear earphones

Because something is happening
And you don't know what it is
Do you, Mister Noory?

[nextgen.fm]

What's the scariest movie you've ever seen, George?

George:  Real life. That's the scariest movie...


No, its not, you idiot.

Such a canned response!!!


George's show is pretty scary actuallY!

[cowtown]

What's the scariest movie you've ever seen, George?

George:  Real life. That's the scariest movie...


No, its not, you idiot.

Who's the scariest radio show host we've ever heard?


(that's rhetorical).

[Major Ed Damien]

.

George:  Real life. That's the scariest movie...

And this is from the same moron who doesn't like negative people -- the "Debbie Downers" and the "psychic vampires."

[cowtown]

"Real Life" must indeed be very scary for Snoory, who obsesses about dead babies, "End Times", guns, demons, and stock piling food. (Not to mention running out of black mustache dye and toupes).

[pate]

Dammit Jorch, it's "THE Ukraine", your guest hasn't a clue...  #readAbook

I mean ever sense I was a kid no-one ever said Soviet Russia's Ukraine...  it was THE Ukraine in Soviet Russia.  Ur a dumbass Noory!

[pate]

What's the scariest movie you've ever seen, George?

George:  Real life. That's the scariest movie...


No, its not, you idiot.

Tropic Thunder (8/10) Movie CLIP - Simple Jack (2008) HD

(Film inspired by life of Noory)

[cowtown]

"Jeffrey, you and I have talked over the years at (sic) how animals get sick..."




Snoory is so upset with all this talk about bad genes he plans to take his new pair back to the Gap for a refund.

[Major Ed Damien]

George:  "Jeesh . . . that's dramatic."



I hope to god it was a GMO-laced pizza roll cooking away in the sick bastard's esophagus.

Maybe it'll grow a three-headed tumor.

We can only hope.

[cowtown]

Anyone else think this guest sounds like Ed Dames?

[Major Ed Damien]

George:  "Were you invited to speak at the California state capital building?"


See, George doesn't know complex words like "legislature."


It's because he's a moron.


That is the way Homer Simpson would try to say "legislature."

[zeebo]

George doesn't understand why everyone's mad at his fave show Good Morning Omerica.

[cowtown]

Dammit Jorch, it's "THE Ukraine", your guest hasn't a clue...  #readAbook

I mean ever sense I was a kid no-one ever said Soviet Russia's Ukraine...  it was THE Ukraine in Soviet Russia.  Ur a dumbass Noory!

I believe you mean "since", not sense, which, as we know, "dumbass Noory" does not possess. He also pronounces Moscow incorrectly. It's Mos-Co. There is no cow in Moscow. And this guy claims to have been in radio news?

[cowtown]

The guest mentioned Hawaii. Let's see how long it takes Snoory to mention his imaginary Hawaii studio.

Homeboy calla jess thanked George "4 hiz "unbeefable" show evry nite."


Guest is talking about "Terminator seeds". Snoory, here's your opportunity to talk about the time you ran into Arnold in a restaurant in L.A.

[Major Ed Damien]

If you listen to this show with headphones you can hear George grunting his agreement now and then.

Also, it's easy to pick up his mouth-breathing.

One night, I could hear him tapping away on his keyboard (with plenty of bad spelling, naturally) while a guest was speaking. 

The internet is one reason George doesn't listen to his guest's answers and repeats himself virtually every night he's on the air.

The other reason is that he day-dreams while picking his nose.

[pate]

Anyone else think this guest sounds like Ed Dames?

I'm actually not listening, what tipped you off?  Was the guest purportedly called "Fred Shame" and spoke with a slight Russian/Ukrainian accent?

Didn't Ed head to Eastern Europe or somewhere as the "safest place" WTSHTF (when the shit hits the fan) or something?

I am a big fan of Ed for searching out those hard to find "war brides"...

kid: ""Granpa, how'd you meet grammamma?""
Ed:  "well son, I rescued her from a war torn country, what's more a merican than that?"
kid:  "landing on the beach instead of in a plane?"
Ed:  "son, you're cut out of the inheritiance, hope you're smart and not a commie spy!"

[zeebo]

George never played baseball as a kid, he was afraid of the psychic umpires.

[cowtown]

I'm actually not listening, what tipped you off?  Was the guest purportedly called "Fred Shame" and spoke with a slight Russian/Ukrainian accent?

Didn't Ed head to Eastern Europe or somewhere as the "safest place" WTSHTF (when the shit hits the fan) or something?

I am a big fan of Ed for searching out those hard to find "war brides"...

I do believe the phony Major Dames is indeed taking up space in The Ukraine. Or, at least that was the answer he last time he remote-viewed himself.

[cowtown]

Did you hear? Snoory is dyslexic, is an agnostic and has insomnia.


He lies awake wondering if there's a dog.

[zeebo]

After the show, Noory's on the hunt for a non-GMO turkee sammich.

[Major Ed Damien]

A genetically-modified George Noory might not be able to get both heads out of its ass.

[Major Ed Damien]

The guest doesn't sound like a kook at all.

Hang on a sec . . .

Sorry, she's kooking up the place to high heaven.

[Gassy Man]

Uh, oh, angels aren't aliens . . . now she has done it.

[Major Ed Damien]

Where was this guest's guardian angel when she was busy writing all those shitty screenplays?


Sleeping under its wings, I guess.

[Major Ed Damien]

It took George less than 10 minutes to get to demons.

[Gassy Man]

Like the crap about ancient aliens and such, these shows are just a bunch of hokum about whatever the guest chooses to write about or say.  There is no evidence of any meaningful kind to back up claims, the claims can contradict other claims and themselves, and the end result is about as meaningful as listening to a drunk in a bar ramble on.  At least there, though, you get peanuts.

[pate]

This new "air-quotes" format barley (the stuff you make beer with) has this host a half hour into the interview?  Should I really tune in for the train wreck?  I will tune in for the train wreck, the details of it vary night by night but the content is the same: "baby dies, igNooron reports, on the scene, perhaps culpable"