Did You Know?
A few basic facts which the Anti-Hemp Lobby* has kept suppressed for centuries.
Did You Know that Marijuana and/or Marijuana smokers:
1) can travel through time at will;
2) males' penises increase in length approximately 187% and girth by 79%.**
3) cows fed marijuana double their total milk production, triple their butterfat content, but overall calories are "net negative", meaning "Stoner Milk"™ is a fat burner: the more you drink, the more weight you lose.
4) the "elvish rope" depicted in the Lord Of The Rings film series is in fact hemp. Hemp is far more useful than the elvish rope however, as it not only knots and unties itself upon the mental command of its owner, but seeks out those articles/persons to be trussed up and does so. Director Peter Jackson, although an advocate of hemp, chose not to depict its full powers, saying he wanted to "keep it believable".
5) Hemp can fashion itself into the true "Star Wars" space defense. This is still classified.
6) A single strand of hemp can link Earth and the Moon, and serve as the literal connection between the two. The Hemp Line will serve as the way to send billions of tons of building and mining materials to the moon, as well as the way to transport and receive the countless tons of gold, diamonds, platinum, titanium and dozens of other strategic metals which wait for us on the moon. NASA must take care, however, since the strength of hemp is such that the Moon might accidentally be pulled closer to the Earth, which could prove disastrous for tides.
7) Hemp has been capable of being fashioned into automobile bodies, impenetrable bulletproof vests and invulnerable crash helmets since the 1950's. The Anti-Hemp Lobby is very powerful though, and this knowledge has been suppressed as damaging to the world steel industry.
8 ) Automobiles powered on 10 gallons of a mixture of 10 parts water and 1 part hemp can travel a minimum of 500 miles. No sort of engine conversion is necessary. Initial expense for this mixture will be around 2˘ per mile, but is expected to be much cheaper when produced in bulk. Again, the Anti-Hemp Lobby has protected the Oil Industry.
*Variously known as The Bilderbergers, The Trilateralist Commission, The Royal House of Saxe-Coburg-Windsor and The Red-Headed League. Its high command and secret laboratories, which include fields for growing and testing neutering strains of Frankenstein Ditchweed (which not only de-sexes all sativa plants it pollinates but also destroys all THC production as well) are 12 stories underground at a gargantuan facility at what was previously known as Area 51 of the Nellis Air Force Range at Groom Lake, Nevada. The facility includes atomic-powered Chinese grow lights capable of producing as much light as three suns.
** As a downside, some male smokers find they must seek penile-reduction surgery, otherwise they must acquire an entire new wardrobe made to accommodate the new, generous dimensions of their genitals. This has led to the ethically questionable practice of haberdashers and tailors piping marijuana smoke into their establishments, as well as giving marijuana to anyone who enters. Also, many males must have testosterone drained off once a month, otherwise they find they are able to have sex as much 27 times a day, which can prove time-consuming and little tiresome to any non-marijuana smoking partners.