Ok, here are my predictions for upcoming celebrity deaths, in no particular order in terms of chronology or desireability. I hereby relinquish responsibility in any way, shape, or form, should any of these predictions either occur, or fail to:
#1. Charlie Sheen- Duh, that was easy huh? But wait, I'm picking up something else... yes... Ok, I'm seeing a nasty fall down a stripper pole in just the very wrong, head first position. Sorry Charlie!
#2. Linndsey Lohwhatevr, LayLow, whatever they call her- She will die from blunt force trauma accidentally delivered by one Caucasian male cranium, see prediction #1 above.
I know, this is sad guys. It gets worse.
#3. Blue Man Group- An unfortunate David Carradine-type, trifecta closet accident is what I'm picking up here.
#4. Elvis- This time for real, goes out Happy Rockefeller style, Playboy Mansion basement. The estate will cut a deal with the girls and the chimp to ixnay on the eadElvisday. This info will not become public until long after Hef rides the blue pill express to the stars. Remember, you heard it didn't happen here first.
#5. Cheney, Dick- RIP Sukka, not.
#6. Larry King- Oops! Too late.
#7. Alex Jones- God bless you man, mean it! Sometimes I believe that you're really only trying to help. But seriously, this is no joke, take a chill homie. That can't be good for the ol' ticker, know what I mean? Eat well, get some rest, maybe a sweatlodge or two. Seriously bro. We might need you around someday when it's down to bullhorns and trading food for water and such. For now though, and I hardly ever recommend this, I think it would be good if you picked yourself up a 'script for some medical Cannabis Holmes. All on the up and up, no illegalities suggested here. Believe you me it might help you out. That, and some Oprah Book of the Month Club stuff to read maybe. Just saying...
So there you have it. If any of these come true, do you think I would have a chance of being a neeto guest on George's amazing and fantastic show?