Author burning poo  (Read 13760 times)

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Re: burning poo
« Reply #180 on: November 14, 2016, 03:59:11 AM »
I'm in real trouble here guys. No my place won't burn down but my yard is on fire and I added poo boxes to my bed that I couldn't film because the damn fire erupted

Re: burning poo
« Reply #181 on: November 14, 2016, 04:00:48 AM »
This is 5 feet from my door

Re: burning poo
« Reply #182 on: November 14, 2016, 04:01:18 AM »
Oh shit I mite be in trouble in pile of shit


hahaha,..you are crazy man - LOL ;D
I have an idea for your advertising slogan:

"When I burn my poo I'm thinking of you that you too should burn your poo"



Re: burning poo
« Reply #183 on: November 14, 2016, 04:03:27 AM »
This is 5 feet from my door

o fuck man now I'm worrying about your safety....please keep posted how you doing
fire should burn out soon - oh man :(

Re: burning poo
« Reply #184 on: November 14, 2016, 04:05:52 AM »

hahaha,..you are crazy man - LOL ;D
I have an idea for your advertising slogan:

"When I burn my poo I'm thinking of you that you too should burn your poo"
glad you laughed,i almost burnt down the neighborhood

Re: burning poo
« Reply #185 on: November 14, 2016, 04:06:59 AM »
This is 5 feet from my door

this is really nice picture...of shit on fire -like an abstract painting by some famous artist

how you doing ak ??

Re: burning poo
« Reply #186 on: November 14, 2016, 04:08:36 AM »
glad you laughed,i almost burnt down the neighborhood

well...shit happens man

are you OK?.. /is The POO fire/ under control now ??

Re: burning poo
« Reply #187 on: November 14, 2016, 04:17:26 AM »
Tomorrow people will be asking on BGab.......where were you when akwilly burned his poo ??

Re: burning poo
« Reply #188 on: November 14, 2016, 04:21:00 AM »
As this photo clearly shows it is the box spring mattress. Obviously I tempered the poo fire that was raging in my yard. I will now have sex with the googly eyes box spring mattress and then poo in it and hope to not burn down this whole town

Re: burning poo
« Reply #189 on: November 14, 2016, 04:22:26 AM »
As you can tell used a chalk-line to make the box spring mattress anatomically correct

Re: burning poo
« Reply #190 on: November 14, 2016, 04:32:17 AM »
As this photo clearly shows it is the box spring mattress. Obviously I tempered the poo fire that was raging in my yard. I will now have sex with the googly eyes box spring mattress and then poo in it and hope to not burn down this whole town

So you didn't impregnate the mattress but are gonna boff the box spring?  You like it rough - that's hard core..........

Any more piss jugs left?  They would fit in the box spring nicely I would think.

Re: burning poo
« Reply #191 on: November 14, 2016, 04:34:50 AM »
As this photo clearly shows I have dumped a quart of oil in the "sex hole". I did that midway and not from the start. I will use my chainsaw to cut a proper poo hole shortly.

Re: burning poo
« Reply #192 on: November 14, 2016, 04:37:11 AM »
As this photo clearly shows it is the box spring mattress. Obviously I tempered the poo fire that was raging in my yard. I will now have sex with the googly eyes box spring mattress and then poo in it and hope to not burn down this whole town

Look at those pupil's!  Do I detect a simulated lazy eye?

Re: burning poo
« Reply #193 on: November 14, 2016, 04:42:39 AM »
As this photo clearly shows I have dumped a quart of oil in the "sex hole". I did that midway and not from the start. I will use my chainsaw to cut a proper poo hole shortly.

A whole quart?  That's a lot of lube.........

So to clarify the situation.  You began coitus with the box spring, halted, added the 10W-40 and then 'finished up', so to speak?

Re: burning poo
« Reply #194 on: November 14, 2016, 05:04:12 AM »
As this photo clearly shows I lined an 18 pack Miller lite can box with a shopping bag. I lined it not because I don't have faith and trust in its seems but rather because I was forcing a poo on it. I made my self go knowing it would be more runny than the beer box or box spring could hold. I also almost lost a finger or half a hand from the kickback on my chainsaw

Re: burning poo
« Reply #195 on: November 14, 2016, 05:33:55 AM »
As this photo clearly shows I'm in the process of moving the box spring out side for burning. Obviously you will notice that I added the emptyish quart of oil to the poo box. Also you might notice that I filled the "googly eyed girl sex hole" with spaghetti. I did that because I burnt up all my duct tape and also it made me feel better about my life even though I keep pooing and burning my stuff

Re: burning poo
« Reply #196 on: November 14, 2016, 05:41:15 AM »
Fixing to light on fire

Re: burning poo
« Reply #197 on: November 14, 2016, 05:53:14 AM »
The box spring did not erupt as I expected. As this photo shows the poo box and empty pee jug are just waiting to be burned. I guess I'm happy that I don't need to worry about burning down my neighbor but dang man I wanted to line what was left of my bed with burnable poo boxers

Re: burning poo
« Reply #198 on: November 14, 2016, 05:54:53 AM »
This is closure for me and the googly eyed girl

Re: burning poo
« Reply #199 on: November 14, 2016, 06:20:50 AM »
This is closure for me and the googly eyed girl

It was the only way to save her..................

Re: burning poo
« Reply #200 on: November 14, 2016, 06:35:53 AM »
It was the only way to save her..................
I've still got one bigass bed left. My couch situation is not good. I still hold out hope that I can get with her but everything i burn makes it that much harder to bring a gal as classy as her home with me. Literally if she saw me for who I am she would like me but sadly I believe she only sees in 2d and only cares about how much coin I got in my jingle.

Re: burning poo
« Reply #201 on: November 14, 2016, 09:02:01 AM »
I've still got one bigass bed left. My couch situation is not good. I still hold out hope that I can get with her but everything i burn makes it that much harder to bring a gal as classy as her home with me. Literally if she saw me for who I am she would like me but sadly I believe she only sees in 2d and only cares about how much coin I got in my jingle.

I am sorry she can not see the charm of a raging poo-filled mattress fire battled with jugs of reserved pee.  Any red-blooded American girl would want to lend her own poo to the conflagration for the sheer glory of it all.

Perhaps if you honeycombed your giant mattress with the requisite chambers, the two of you could spend a week or so filling it, like bees do a comb.  I'm sure you two would be inseparable after that fire.

Re: burning poo
« Reply #202 on: November 14, 2016, 04:01:15 PM »
I am sorry she can not see the charm of a raging poo-filled mattress fire battled with jugs of reserved pee.  Any red-blooded American girl would want to lend her own poo to the conflagration for the sheer glory of it all.

Perhaps if you honeycombed your giant mattress with the requisite chambers, the two of you could spend a week or so filling it, like bees do a comb.  I'm sure you two would be inseparable after that fire.


Could not agree more.  Mrs. Walks_At_Night and I have been married well nigh on a quarter century now and that is how our story started:
Our eyes met for the first time and I delivered the ultimate line: "Hey baby - wanna come back to my place and poo in my couch".   



Re: burning poo
« Reply #203 on: November 14, 2016, 04:09:23 PM »

Could not agree more.  Mrs. Walks_At_Night and I have been married well nigh on a quarter century now and that is how our story started:
Our eyes met for the first time and I delivered the ultimate line: "Hey baby - wanna come back to my place and poo in my couch".

Oh the couch is a splendid idea!  Nothing like working side-by-side for a common goal, cheering one another on, to bind two hearts together.

Re: burning poo
« Reply #204 on: November 14, 2016, 04:20:00 PM »
akwilly, you are a mini environmental nightmare. All that plastic and whatever you're burning, damn. I bet you don't have many birds living near you.

Re: burning poo
« Reply #205 on: November 14, 2016, 07:05:57 PM »
This is the best thread ever, it makes the internet, finally, legitimate. I have to ask if other Alaskans burn poo or if you figured this out? I knew someone, years ago, who lived in a primitive old house without plumbing and they would crap in bags when it was too cold to go out to the outhouse. Why didn't they think of your option? (They were very, very religious and never drank, so the 12-pack containers weren't an option, actually they didn't have 12 packs then, as I recall you bought a sleight cardboard containing 6-packs if you wanted a case, or just two 6-packs if you wanted half a case.)
I never have heard of pooing on furniture, at least on purpose, and then burning (I have burnt furniture before, pleather lazy-boy type chairs make great smoke and flames but you still have the metal carcass to deal with.)

Re: burning poo
« Reply #206 on: November 14, 2016, 07:09:57 PM »
This is the best thread ever, it makes the internet, finally, legitimate. I have to ask if other Alaskans burn poo or if you figured this out? I knew someone, years ago, who lived in a primitive old house without plumbing and they would crap in bags when it was too cold to go out to the outhouse. Why didn't they think of your option? (They were very, very religious and never drank, so the 12-pack containers weren't an option, actually they didn't have 12 packs then, as I recall you bought a sleight cardboard containing 6-packs if you wanted a case, or just two 6-packs if you wanted half a case.)
I never have heard of pooing on furniture, at least on purpose, and then burning (I have burnt furniture before, pleather lazy-boy type chairs make great smoke and flames but you still have the metal carcass to deal with.)

Well technically it is pooing in furniture.    The carving into the mattress with a chainsaw at 1 in the morning or whatever was there at the time
is what really makes it special.........

Re: burning poo
« Reply #207 on: November 14, 2016, 07:15:40 PM »
This is the best thread ever, it makes the internet, finally, legitimate. I have to ask if other Alaskans burn poo or if you figured this out? I knew someone, years ago, who lived in a primitive old house without plumbing and they would crap in bags when it was too cold to go out to the outhouse. Why didn't they think of your option? (They were very, very religious and never drank, so the 12-pack containers weren't an option, actually they didn't have 12 packs then, as I recall you bought a sleight cardboard containing 6-packs if you wanted a case, or just two 6-packs if you wanted half a case.)
I never have heard of pooing on furniture, at least on purpose, and then burning (I have burnt furniture before, pleather lazy-boy type chairs make great smoke and flames but you still have the metal carcass to deal with.)


I know several people that live in Alaska, two are in the boonies. None of them shit in furniture and set it on fire. One of them does poop in the woods though.

Re: burning poo
« Reply #208 on: November 14, 2016, 07:16:06 PM »
Well technically it is pooing in furniture.    The carving into the mattress with a chainsaw at 1 in the morning or whatever was there at the time
is what really makes it special.........

It is utter genius, and must rank among the most comfortable poos ever taken.  I thought my mom's vinyl-covered cushioned seat was luxurious, but an entire mattress is positively decadent.

Re: burning poo
« Reply #209 on: November 14, 2016, 07:17:32 PM »
Well technically it is pooing in furniture.    The carving into the mattress with a chainsaw at 1 in the morning or whatever was there at the time
is what really makes it special.........
Point taken. You are right, the poo inside furniture and the prep-work to do so properly before setting them alight is an amazing evolution in burning poo. Why the rest of the interwebs or late night talk shows haven't reached out to Akwilly for guest appearances or interviews and demonstrations amazes me. This is why Hollywood and the TV is loosing audiences.