Author burning poo  (Read 13984 times)

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burning poo
« on: May 19, 2016, 12:28:03 AM »

The poo is in the miller lite box. I will do a better job of putting together a step by step how to guide in the future. FYI it is better to use Keystone boxes because they have more plastic in the packaging reducing leakage.

Re: burning poo
« Reply #1 on: May 19, 2016, 12:57:25 AM »

The poo is in the miller lite box. I will do a better job of putting together a step by step how to guide in the future. FYI it is better to use Keystone boxes because they have more plastic in the packaging reducing leakage.

How much poo?

Re: burning poo
« Reply #2 on: May 19, 2016, 01:07:13 AM »
How much poo?
It was a fair amount. Probably about 1 and a half red solo cup full. Very runny due to the massive amount of beers drunken.


Re: burning poo
« Reply #3 on: May 19, 2016, 01:08:45 AM »
It was a fair amount. Probably about 1 and a half red solo cup full. Very runny due to the massive amount of beers drunken.

If it's that runny you will have to do a controlled fire.  That shit (pun intended) can be like napalm.  :D

Re: burning poo
« Reply #4 on: May 19, 2016, 01:13:40 AM »
If it's that runny you will have to do a controlled fire.  That shit (pun intended) can be like napalm.  :D
Yes thats true. I will heavily dilute the runny poo with diesel fuel. I like to stir the mixture for a good minute or so and then let it sit for about 5 minutes before lighting. A normal solid poo can be simply placed on a board and then gently squished into the wood then tossed directly into the fire.

Re: burning poo
« Reply #5 on: May 19, 2016, 01:16:23 AM »
Coors boxes are good too.

Re: burning poo
« Reply #6 on: May 19, 2016, 01:22:33 AM »

Re: burning poo
« Reply #7 on: May 19, 2016, 01:26:48 AM »
Coors boxes are good too.
Coors is a fairly decent poo box but I wouldn't trust them in an inside the house situation. They tend to leak at the seams more than other comparable boxes. I think it's due to them not using good glue. Coors tend to spot glue the seams rather than running a smooth bead like Keystone.

Re: burning poo
« Reply #8 on: May 19, 2016, 01:32:03 AM »
Coors is a fairly decent poo box but I wouldn't trust them in an inside the house situation. They tend to leak at the seams more than other comparable boxes. I think it's due to them not using good glue. Coors tend to spot glue the seams rather than running a smooth bead like Keystone.

Hmmm...I guess you're right on the glue thing.  I do remember trying to tear a coors light box apart and it was tough as hell.  Also seemed to have some nylon thread through it...like dental floss.   That may have been the time a few years ago where they marketed their boxes as temporary coolers.

Re: burning poo
« Reply #9 on: May 19, 2016, 01:37:20 AM »
Hmmm...I guess you're right on the glue thing.  I do remember trying to tear a coors light box apart and it was tough as hell.  Also seemed to have some nylon thread through it...like dental floss.   That may have been the time a few years ago where they marketed their boxes as temporary coolers.
Ya that was the glory days for Coors. I would cut my left nut off to have the pleasure of crapping in one of their "cooler" boxes. Truly was the Cadillac of poo boxes in its day.

Re: burning poo
« Reply #10 on: May 19, 2016, 01:38:12 AM »
Winnie the "poo?

This is the best thread EVER!

Re: burning poo
« Reply #11 on: May 19, 2016, 01:43:05 AM »
Ya that was the glory days for Coors. I would cut my left nut off to have the pleasure of crapping in one of their "cooler" boxes. Truly was the Cadillac of poo boxes in its day.

Maybe that. But then there was the Strohs Beer case. OMG. Poo heaven friend.

Re: burning poo
« Reply #12 on: May 19, 2016, 02:00:33 AM »
Maybe that. But then there was the Strohs Beer case. OMG. Poo heaven friend.
I might have been to young to have the pleasure of crapping in a Strohs suitcase. I guess Pabst took over the company so I will be sure and give one of their boxes a try.

Re: burning poo
« Reply #13 on: May 19, 2016, 05:51:24 AM »
I might have been to young to have the pleasure of crapping in a Strohs suitcase. I guess Pabst took over the company so I will be sure and give one of their boxes a try.

For extra points you could eat a beer box first, then shit it into another one and burn that.


...did I really just type that?

Re: burning poo
« Reply #14 on: May 19, 2016, 06:23:38 AM »
Might be tough to find based on your locale but Leinenkugel's Canoe Paddler will blaze nicely.  If you find Leinies at all,
it will probably be that Summer Shandy - you don't want that.  It's got lemon in it and the Citric Acid in the poo
will weaken the seams.  The Canoe Paddler is da bomb [literally] if you can find it................


Re: burning poo
« Reply #15 on: May 19, 2016, 06:42:15 AM »
Might be tough to find based on your locale but Leinenkugel's Canoe Paddler will blaze nicely.  If you find Leinies at all,
it will probably be that Summer Shandy - you don't want that.  It's got lemon in it and the Citric Acid in the poo
will weaken the seams.  The Canoe Paddler is da bomb [literally] if you can find it................


that looks like a fine box to crap in not to mention the wonderful floral aroma that I expect would emanate when lit on fire. My issue though is that it is a 12 pack box. I like to feel the sweet cardboard touch my ass when I potty. An 18 pack serves that purpose easier because of the height when set on end. If I were to use the box pictured I would have to basically squat with my knees on the ground. I don't like doing it that way because it enhances my urge to pee thus making the poo harder to burn

Re: burning poo
« Reply #16 on: May 19, 2016, 06:47:30 AM »
For extra points you could eat a beer box first, then shit it into another one and burn that.


...did I really just type that?
Bob that is just ridiculous

Re: burning poo
« Reply #17 on: May 19, 2016, 07:11:16 AM »

The poo is in the miller lite box. I will do a better job of putting together a step by step how to guide in the future. FYI it is better to use Keystone boxes because they have more plastic in the packaging reducing leakage.
WTF ?
See what happens when you drink Miller Lite !                  


Good thread akwilly.  :)

Re: burning poo
« Reply #18 on: May 19, 2016, 07:13:54 AM »
that looks like a fine box to crap in not to mention the wonderful floral aroma that I expect would emanate when lit on fire. My issue though is that it is a 12 pack box. I like to feel the sweet cardboard touch my ass when I potty. An 18 pack serves that purpose easier because of the height when set on end. If I were to use the box pictured I would have to basically squat with my knees on the ground. I don't like doing it that way because it enhances my urge to pee thus making the poo harder to burn

Yeah.....  I can see your point.   Using that box you might have to rig up some sort of "Squatty Potty" deal.  Probably more trouble than it is worth.

BTW my bossman swung by my cube and asked what I was reading.  He perused your thread and has a suggestion.   If you are having trouble
with runny poo due to the lower quality beers, he suggests powering down a tube or three of Pringles.   Mind you, it has to be the Reduced Fat type.
Since the ingredients come straight out of a vat at Dow Chemical, he insists that they will act as both an accelerant and a binder.   In reality, it
is just dried out wall paper paste slathered in salt so you should be good to go.    Give it a whirl - he swears by it.

 

Re: burning poo
« Reply #19 on: May 19, 2016, 07:27:37 AM »
Yeah.....  I can see your point.   Using that box you might have to rig up some sort of "Squatty Potty" deal.  Probably more trouble than it is worth.

BTW my bossman swung by my cube and asked what I was reading.  He perused your thread and has a suggestion.   If you are having trouble
with runny poo due to the lower quality beers, he suggests powering down a tube or three of Pringles.   Mind you, it has to be the Reduced Fat type.
Since the ingredients come straight out of a vat at Dow Chemical, he insists that they will act as both an accelerant and a binder.   In reality, it
is just dried out wall paper paste slathered in salt so you should be good to go.    Give it a whirl - he swears by it.


I have in my possession a device that I took from an old folks home that makes crapping in a 12 pack box almost seem like a slice of heaven. I will post pics later. Glad you have a boss that understands what is important and is helpful to the most basic needs of his employees

Re: burning poo
« Reply #20 on: May 19, 2016, 10:11:02 AM »
I have in my possession a device that I took from an old folks home that makes crapping in a 12 pack box almost seem like a slice of heaven. I will post pics later. Glad you have a boss that understands what is important and is helpful to the most basic needs of his employees

Good deal.  We need those Pix

Re: burning poo
« Reply #21 on: May 19, 2016, 02:38:18 PM »
The Gulf's gray, pearly bosom fair he braves
To rest by night beneath Polaris true
Upon the rocky shores, above which waves
Eight stars of gold upon a field of blue.
By day he wrests, from greenish depths, the spoil
That swims, or crawls along the ooze,
And nightly feasts upon the fruits of toil;
He drinks heroic volumes of booze.
The ships of ancient chiefs became their pyres
When thralls consigned their bodies to their arks;
Our hero's bowels kindle mighty fires,
And turds ascend each night in show'rs of sparks.
In cases that once held his noble brew,
He offers up a flaming box of poo.

Re: burning poo
« Reply #22 on: May 19, 2016, 02:59:55 PM »
I have in my possession a device that I took from an old folks home that makes crapping in a 12 pack box almost seem like a slice of heaven. I will post pics later. Glad you have a boss that understands what is important and is helpful to the most basic needs of his employees
Screw your pics, Akwilly, gimme back my gawd damn DEVICE! >:(   ;D

Re: burning poo
« Reply #23 on: May 19, 2016, 09:16:31 PM »
I was going to suggest shitting in a Pringles can, never pondered the reduced fat variety.

Re: burning poo
« Reply #24 on: May 19, 2016, 09:38:09 PM »
I was going to suggest shitting in a Pringles can, never pondered the reduced fat variety.
A Pringles can is great for training little kids. It is about the right size and it comes with a lid so it can be sealed up after each use until it gets full. It is also easy for a small kid to light on fire because it resembles a large firecracker when a small hole is drilled in the lid and a fuse is inserted in the tube that is filled with fuel and poo.

Re: burning poo
« Reply #25 on: May 19, 2016, 09:43:50 PM »

This is the device I took from the old folks home. As you can see I am using a Miller Lite 18 pack. I taped 3 of the flaps to the chair but I left one flap untaped. It could serve as a splash guard.

Re: burning poo
« Reply #26 on: May 19, 2016, 09:46:25 PM »

This is a view down the poo box. I usually don't use the poo box chair. I usually reserve that for company but I thought you'all would enjoy seeing the possibilities.

Re: burning poo
« Reply #27 on: May 19, 2016, 09:49:05 PM »
The Gulf's gray, pearly bosom fair he braves
To rest by night beneath Polaris true
Upon the rocky shores, above which waves
Eight stars of gold upon a field of blue.
By day he wrests, from greenish depths, the spoil
That swims, or crawls along the ooze,
And nightly feasts upon the fruits of toil;
He drinks heroic volumes of booze.
The ships of ancient chiefs became their pyres
When thralls consigned their bodies to their arks;
Our hero's bowels kindle mighty fires,
And turds ascend each night in show'rs of sparks.
In cases that once held his noble brew,
He offers up a flaming box of poo.
I don't know what to say Kdubb. This is just brilliant!!

Re: burning poo
« Reply #28 on: May 19, 2016, 09:51:09 PM »
I don't know what to say Kdubb. This is just brilliant!!

Seems to me that K_dubbs work needs to be placed on the outer lid of the "Device"

Re: burning poo
« Reply #29 on: May 19, 2016, 09:52:27 PM »
Seems to me that K_dubbs work needs to be placed on the outer lid of the "Device"
At the very least I would like to recite his poem at the next Robert BURNS night.