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Topics - SredniVashtar

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Radio and Podcasts / Annoyed Art!
« on: June 19, 2015, 04:18:17 AM »

I was thinking about Art's post last week about the expectation for the show, and the fact that he will be 70 and not 40 when the new show starts. The only concern (very slight, I must admit) would be that he has mellowed in the interim, because the Art we all knew and loved always had an edge.

I don't know about anyone else, but I won't consider the new show officially started until Art gets ornery with someone, be it caller or guest. The best thing about it is that Art is old-school enough not to tear them off a strip, shock-jock style, but you are aware of a mounting grumpiness that usually boils up into a tetchy remark or sarcastic aside that makes it much more entertaining than a bit of straightforward yelling. He is obviously a man who finds fools very hard to tolerate, and the simmering annoyance that you get with him is worlds away from the usual blandness you associate with a host. I was just listening to a Malachi Martin show the other day, and a caller was waffling away, then you heard Art say (with sinister emphasis), 'Do. You. Have. A. Question?


If anyone call recall specific instances of this I would be interested to hear them. The one that sticks in my mind is the interview with Dallas Thompson. After a half or so of Art being patient, he finally realises that he is dealing with a man with a plate in his head and a tenuous grasp on reality. The interview continues to slide downhill as Thompson's dementia grows ever more apparent, and Art decides he wants to know who booked him for the interview, and he keeps going back to this point, trying to get Thompson to tell him who was responsible. The exchange went something like:


Art: Was it Lisa?
Dallas? [hesitant] Lisa's not in trouble, is she?
Art: [tone as dry as the Gobi Desert] That has yet to be determined

Please share any of your favourite memories of 'When Art Gets Pissed'.

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Random Topics / Limericks
« on: February 19, 2015, 07:16:03 AM »
The limerick is probably the noblest of poetic art forms.

Example:

There was a young monk from Silesia
Who of praying grew weary and wearier
When he rose with a yell,
Ran out of his cell
And buggered the Father Superior

This is open to all. Points will be awarded for metrical accuracy, humour and, most importantly, filth. Sexual content is preferred, if not essential - usually of the back-door variety - but don't let me cramp your creativity. The rhyme scheme is AABBA, and usually starts with a man or woman from some part of the country, but I don't think that would work for us here. I thought it would be a good opportunity to use include various forum members in a variety of unnatural acts. I am sure you will manage something better than me, but to give you an example of what I am looking for:

There was a young man named MV
Who buggered an elderly bee
The old insect would groan
As he shoved in his bone
Then ran off, to suck off, a flea

Something like that anyway. I have faith that you can come up with something suitably heinous before long. If it causes a combination of humour and outrage I think you have something close to the perfect limerick.

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