Author Topic: I'm going to blow my fucking brains out once and for all.  (Read 44420 times)

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Re: I'm going to blow my fucking brains out once and for all.
« Reply #240 on: November 20, 2015, 01:34:36 PM »
A long time ago, when dinosaurs and AOL foraged the land for food and water, there was a chat room filled with maybe sixty or seventy assholes calling themselves writers.  Over a period of two years, one beloved member of the group painstakingly revealed her ongoing fight against cancer, providing detailed chemotherapy side-effects, etc. 

Then she died of the cancer. The group was shocked, despite knowing the end was coming. It was tragic.

Then she came back and revealed she had been lying. For two goddamned years, simple words, such as "Gotta go. Not feeling well.  Had chemo today," had elicited a group response.

There are pranks and there are bizarre fucked up pranks.  Some were hurt or sad that she had done this.  Many were extremely angry, having shared with her their actual losses due to cancer.  Every regular in the group believed it.  It had gone on so long.  Everyone was fooled.

Less than three months after the big reveal.  She really WAS dead.  Verified.

And the C.O.D. was NOT from cancer, suicide, accident, or natural causes.

But that was a long time ago, when dinosaurs and AOL foraged the land for food and water.

And in another such AOL chat room was a gentleman by the name of (if I remember correctly)  Tim Salmon. He was an authority on some English author or some such. He really did have cancer, and he really did die with it. And we really were saddened as he was a very engaging, funny, intelligent gentle man.

I used to 'work' voluntarily with people who said often they had  considered suicide. Some may have, some just wanted to chat, some had suffered loss and needed a friendly voice/face. In the UK the largest cause of death of young men between the ages of 25-40 is suicide. I suspect it's similar in the US. .

It's easy to dismiss anything like as (buzz phrase) 'attention whores', but someone on this forum will know or has known of someone close who will take their own life. I have. I worked with him and looking back we saw the signs but never believed he'd do it, but he did. His estranged wife found him hanging from the marital home loft hatch. He left a five year old daughter.

So to the OP; If what you say is true, talk to someone. An impartial unconnected person. Just talk.

Re: I'm going to blow my fucking brains out once and for all.
« Reply #241 on: November 20, 2015, 01:35:06 PM »
What do think has been on my mind this entire time? My mind always goes "yeah you should have killed yourself a couple months ago. That way you couldn't fuck up everyone's life like you always have."  Best case scenario right now is my parents disown me, and honestly I deserve it. Killing myself would have been a cowardly decision. Better face this shit like a man, for lack of a better term.

Just ignore these stupid fucks. Find your place in this life. Find the simple pleasures, grab them with both hands and don't let go.

Again, just put the stupid fucks on ignore.

Re: I'm going to blow my fucking brains out once and for all.
« Reply #242 on: November 20, 2015, 01:35:10 PM »
Time for the Zoo Rule: Do Not Feed The Monkeys.  They Will Throw Shit Their At You.


Re: I'm going to blow my fucking brains out once and for all.
« Reply #243 on: November 20, 2015, 01:35:23 PM »
Autism and "triggered" posters. Welcome to BellGab, where internet faggotry is always at it's finest.
We do try sir, we do try.


Re: I'm going to blow my fucking brains out once and for all.
« Reply #244 on: November 20, 2015, 01:36:54 PM »
At this point in the game, the only person you should be reflecting on is you.

I don't know what put your life into a shit spiral. Yesterday, you suggested ending it all, now you want to fight with someone. Do you see a connection there?

An unbelievable amount of self loathing.

Re: I'm going to blow my fucking brains out once and for all.
« Reply #245 on: November 20, 2015, 01:38:08 PM »
An unbelievable amount of self loathing.

Watch the monkey video

Re: I'm going to blow my fucking brains out once and for all.
« Reply #246 on: November 20, 2015, 01:38:41 PM »
That's right, because that's how it works sometimes. Suicidal people don't walk around being suicidal 24/7. At a moment of weakness, they may make a tragic decisions. And you don't know that he is "OK" today. He may not be "OK" for a while. Geez, are you always this keen to show others your ignorance?

   Bitch, all kidding aside, my real name is Morty Lipshits, hotshot producer and I'm casting you in a film I'm making about a kid who fakes suicide and an ugly old hag. Here's your big break!

   

Re: I'm going to blow my fucking brains out once and for all.
« Reply #247 on: November 20, 2015, 01:39:07 PM »
We do try sir, we do try.

I love it. I'm looking for love by way of otherkin.

Re: I'm going to blow my fucking brains out once and for all.
« Reply #248 on: November 20, 2015, 01:40:21 PM »
I never had AOL, but my friends said that was very effective for meet-ups...GeoCities had local chats, but hardly anyone even used them...I actually never met anyone from a chat/thread until BellGab...

And while seeing your motel room was very 'exciting.'  We still need to have that Steak and Scotch.  555?

Re: I'm going to blow my fucking brains out once and for all.
« Reply #249 on: November 20, 2015, 01:40:32 PM »

   Falkie's reading this planning his next big video.

   Suicide= clicks.

Re: I'm going to blow my fucking brains out once and for all.
« Reply #250 on: November 20, 2015, 01:42:19 PM »
An unbelievable amount of self loathing.
not in the "I'm going to blow my fucking brains out once and for all." thread!!!

I can see the headlines now "cyber-bully's indicted with death of bellgabber"

Re: I'm going to blow my fucking brains out once and for all.
« Reply #251 on: November 20, 2015, 01:43:12 PM »
Operation Attention Whore was a complete success.  Glad you didn't off yourself though.

Re: I'm going to blow my fucking brains out once and for all.
« Reply #252 on: November 20, 2015, 01:43:43 PM »
An unbelievable amount of self loathing.

I truly hope you find your way to some form of healthy self satisfaction. I sincerely do.

I never fully know whether someone is being truthful or not with just words on a screen. I learn over time who seems "real" to me. I don't know that about you. And with your post regarding "niggars", I am not sure I want to spend the energy.




Re: I'm going to blow my fucking brains out once and for all.
« Reply #253 on: November 20, 2015, 01:44:05 PM »
You led a happy life. Probably microaggressed someone or two. Fucker.

Again with the labels?  Fucking Anti-Lesbian Identifying Rascist.  What did my ppl ever do to you?  That you didn't like?

Re: I'm going to blow my fucking brains out once and for all.
« Reply #254 on: November 20, 2015, 01:45:50 PM »
I truly hope you find your way to some form of healthy self satisfaction. I sincerely do.

I never fully know whether someone is being truthful or not with just words on a screen. I learn over time who seems "real" to me. I don't know that about you. And with your post regarding "niggars", I am not sure I want to spend the energy.

What is this niggars you speak of?

Re: I'm going to blow my fucking brains out once and for all.
« Reply #255 on: November 20, 2015, 01:46:34 PM »
   Bitch, all kidding aside, my real name is Morty Lipshits, hotshot producer and I'm casting you in a film I'm making about a kid who fakes suicide and an ugly old hag. Here's your big break!

   

I just googled Harold and Maude. Do you realize that movie came out in 1971?! 1971 FFS. Forty-four fucking years ago! You really must be in your '80's. Don't be bitter, just take your AARP card and your shriveled ass and do some retail therapy. And no, not the usual kind at the liquor store. Look on the bright side, there must be a senior discount somewhere today.

Re: I'm going to blow my fucking brains out once and for all.
« Reply #256 on: November 20, 2015, 01:46:56 PM »
What do think has been on my mind this entire time? My mind always goes "yeah you should have killed yourself a couple months ago. That way you couldn't fuck up everyone's life like you always have."  Best case scenario right now is my parents disown me, and honestly I deserve it. Killing myself would have been a cowardly decision. Better face this shit like a man, for lack of a better term.

Fucking A Skippy.  Reach into your pants, grab your balls, and recognize that you are a man.  You are made to endure and out-endure situations, miscellaneous BS and assholes.  And BellGab. 


Okay, you can let go of your balls now.  It'll get gay if you don't.

Re: I'm going to blow my fucking brains out once and for all.
« Reply #257 on: November 20, 2015, 01:47:45 PM »
You're in the wrong timeline. It's Berstain now.

Wrong timeline.  Same reality?  I am so screwed.

Re: I'm going to blow my fucking brains out once and for all.
« Reply #258 on: November 20, 2015, 01:48:14 PM »
  You are made to endure and out-endure situations, miscellaneous BS and assholes.  And BellGab. 


And assholes on Bellgab.

Re: I'm going to blow my fucking brains out once and for all.
« Reply #259 on: November 20, 2015, 01:48:25 PM »
Autism and "triggered" posters. Welcome to BellGab, where internet faggotry is always at it's finest.

Brought you in fm the cold, didn't it?

Re: I'm going to blow my fucking brains out once and for all.
« Reply #260 on: November 20, 2015, 01:49:23 PM »
I just googled Harold and Maude. Do you realize that movie came out in 1971?! 1971 FFS. Forty-four fucking years ago! You really must be in your '80's. Don't be bitter, just take your AARP card and your shriveled ass and do some retail therapy. And no, not the usual kind at the liquor store. Look on the bright side, there must be a senior discount somewhere today.

    Your avatar died in 1993. At 63.

    Sadly, you didn't die in 1993 at 73..

Re: I'm going to blow my fucking brains out once and for all.
« Reply #261 on: November 20, 2015, 01:49:30 PM »
What is this niggars you speak of?

Haha, niggers are so funny.

Looking it over again, I may have misinterpreted. I dunno. my head hurts.

Re: I'm going to blow my fucking brains out once and for all.
« Reply #262 on: November 20, 2015, 01:49:40 PM »
Just ignore these stupid fucks. Find your place in this life. Find the simple pleasures, grab them with both hands and don't let go.

Again, just put the stupid fucks on ignore.

What?  All of us?  Who the fucks he gonna talk to then?

Re: I'm going to blow my fucking brains out once and for all.
« Reply #263 on: November 20, 2015, 01:50:28 PM »
And while seeing your motel room was very 'exciting.'  We still need to have that Steak and Scotch.  555?

Man no doubt...I think I have a trip early next year...we can get that scotch then! The Arthur J or Steak and Whisky!

Re: I'm going to blow my fucking brains out once and for all.
« Reply #264 on: November 20, 2015, 01:50:33 PM »
Honestly though, life is much easier when you just tell folks to fuck off. If I let everyone get to me, I would have killed myself years ago. If someone gives you shit, thats their problem, not yours.

Re: I'm going to blow my fucking brains out once and for all.
« Reply #265 on: November 20, 2015, 01:50:47 PM »
Fucking A Skippy.  Reach into your pants, grab your balls, and recognize that you are a man.  You are made to endure and out-endure situations, miscellaneous BS and assholes.  And BellGab. 


Okay, you can let go of your balls now.  It'll get gay if you don't.


In that case, can you let go of mine now..please

Re: I'm going to blow my fucking brains out once and for all.
« Reply #266 on: November 20, 2015, 01:50:52 PM »
   Falkie's reading this planning his next big video.

   Suicide= clicks. And dicks
fixed

Re: I'm going to blow my fucking brains out once and for all.
« Reply #267 on: November 20, 2015, 01:50:52 PM »
I just googled Harold and Maude. Do you realize that movie came out in 1971?! 1971 FFS. Forty-four fucking years ago! You really must be in your '80's. Don't be bitter, just take your AARP card and your shriveled ass and do some retail therapy. And no, not the usual kind at the liquor store. Look on the bright side, there must be a senior discount somewhere today.

FWIW, I loved that movie. I don't know why they wouldn't let me bring it into the psyche ward back in 92 to show it for movie night.

Re: I'm going to blow my fucking brains out once and for all.
« Reply #268 on: November 20, 2015, 01:52:15 PM »
    Your avatar died in 1993. At 63.

    Sadly, you didn't die in 1993 at 73..

I guess that you would know all about old movie stars. What was it like seeing the movies in person the first time around?

Re: I'm going to blow my fucking brains out once and for all.
« Reply #269 on: November 20, 2015, 01:52:35 PM »
Brought you in fm the cold, didn't it?

It did. I can't look away from this kind of internet gold. It warms my loins...