Pro Tips

[b_dubb]

Post your best "Pro Tips" for whatever.

Here's mine:

Pro Tip: See the guy with the angel of death tattooed on the back of his bald head?  Don't make eye contact with him.

[Kelt]

When your mother in law asks you how you are, "Horny as fuck" isn't an acceptable response.

[UnscreenedCaller]

Never reveal to your beloved that you may have, once or twice, driven to work with curlers in your hair. And if you do ever drive to work with them, be sure a stray one isn't attached to the back of your sweater as you make your way down the street and into the workplace.

[wr250]

dont enter  a "how much taco bell can you eat"  contest when you have a job interview the next day.

[zeebo]

Beware restaurants that serve Chinese food, American food, and donuts.  Your cheeseburger will taste like a chow mein jelly donut.

[cweb]

Cook bacon in an oven, fuckers.

375 on a foiled cookie sheet. When that shit starts to get bubbles on top, it's done.

P.S. Those bubbles are... you guessed it-- unicorn tears.

[b_dubb]

Cook bacon in an oven, fuckers.

375 on a foiled cookie sheet. When that shit starts to get bubbles on top, it's done.

P.S. Those bubbles are... you guessed it-- unicorn tears.

Pro Tip: Never fry bacon in the nude

[FightTheFuture]

Know when, and on what, to spend money.

For instance, never go cheap on baby diapers. Spend the money and get the best.

Furnishing a home? Get the highest quality furniture possible -- you won`t regret it.

[zeebo]

On your Windows machine, always have a system partition/drive with your OS and all applications on it, and a seperate partition/drive for your data.  Don't ever put your data on the friggin C: drive e.g. the stupid "My Documents" folder.  Put all data (documents, music, photos, etc.) on your D: drive.

This way, if you have a particularly bad crash and have to restore from the original system image, you don't lose your data.  This simple pro tip has saved me multiple times.  (Btw it also makes backups easier since you can just bulk copy your whole D: drive to an external backup drive.)

[Tarbaby]

Never passed a car on the grass on the on ramp to a freeway at 96 miles an hour. It could (and did) turn out to be an unmarked Highway Patrol car.

And when he is studying your drivers license and says, "what's your name?" Don't say, "it's right there on the license."

And when he says, "I knew you were going to speed because you passed me on the ramp back there, "don't say "oh, was that you?"

And when he says, "why were you speeding?" Don't say, "because i'm making a run to the grocery store to get some ice cream and I had to get back home before the commercials ended and The ice cream melted."

[wr250]

never trust a skinny chef.

[pate]

^ that's just a codicil of the bigger rule "Trust no one" ^

[DigitalPigSnuggler]

You won't decrease the amount of happiness you feel by sharing it.

[UnscreenedCaller]

Never passed a car on the grass on the on ramp to a freeway at 96 miles an hour. It could (and did) turn out to be an unmarked Highway Patrol car.

OMG, so true. Never assume the guy inside the the highway car you blew by on the way to work at 2:30 AM is sleeping. He isn't. It helps to be surprised your Jetta can actually toodle along that fast. Accept the warning gratefully and slink off into the night.

[wr250]

if you have 50 lbs of spinach that needs cleaned , the rinse/spin cycle is your friend.

[pate]

Wonderwoman aka Princess Diana of Themyscira needs neither rinse nor spin cycle, besides wasn't Popeye (heh, other than being a representation of Odin) from a different fan-zine or something?

[zeebo]

Use google to convert stuff.  Just type in the search box: "x units to other units",  e.g.:

1 gallon to quarts

12 tablespoons to cups

50 ounces to kilograms

800 hours to days

22 celsius to fahrenheit

1500 meters to miles

3500 centimeters to fathoms

82.37 light years to parsecs

[Evil Twin Of Zen]

stay the hell away from the armored vehicles.

[b_dubb]

Pro Tip: Don't let yourself get all whipped up over a post by Art Bell on his Facebook profile.  You'll just get sucked up into a tornado of butt hurt and then plopped right back where you started.  All for nothing.

[analog kid]

Drizzle olive oil on steak fries (assuming they're oven baked).

never trust a skinny chef.

Gordon Ramsey doesn't like fat chefs, because they sweat into the food.

[jazmunda]

Pro Tip: There is no correct response to the question "Do I look fat in this?"

[b_dubb]

Pro Tip: Never ask an MD what grosses them out

[FightTheFuture]

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=QR465HoCWFQ

[UnscreenedCaller]

Pro tip: Never shake hands with a dermatologist

[The General]

Protip: Don't try to out drink your family on Thanksgiving when you have to work bright and early on Black Friday. 

(posting for a friend)

[wr250]

Protip: Don't try to out drink your family on Thanksgiving when you have to work bright and early on Black Friday. 

(posting for a friend)

pro tip: dont ever say "posting for a friend" and expect anyone to believe you.

[jazmunda]

Pro Tip (from a friend): Never eat yellow snow.

[GeorgieForPresident2216]

Pro tip:  Don't play with bottles.

[attachimg=1]

[UnscreenedCaller]

Pro tip:  Don't play with bottles.

[attachimg=1]

Whenever I see something like this I wonder at what point a person might begin to reconsider this activity. Offhand, halfway to the pancreas seems too late.

[jazmunda]

Pro tip: Never eat soggy crackers.