American Moustache; The Curious case of the People vs. JORCH NOORY

[StabWound]

Dateline: ST. LOUIS, MO
August 22, 2014; A hot muggy night in a city still reeling from disaster and panic.  At a ramshackle but resourcefully retrofitted studio, Infamous radio host JORCH Noory (Born George Weatherby Jefferson Noorenstein) was at the controls; pressing buttons aimlessly and picking chaw from his elegantly coiffed facial hair, as was his wont.  His guest that evening was an esteemed and well spoken pioneer of Cyrogenics who was explaining with passion and eloquence the subtleties of his field to a rapt and enthralled audience; when suddenly, with a single reckless phrase this thrilling lecture, and the lives of countless listeners, was shattered forevermore.

   (EXCERPT FROM DECLASSIFIED COURT MANUSCRIPT[peoples exhibit 3121b])
JORCH: '' So, if you where to take, like, a hammer or something, and hit the frozen bodies, could you shatter their arm or something?''
Guest BILL NEWTON: [REDACTED]

[StabWound]

The goal of this thread is to try to help the victims of Mr. Noory's antics pick up the pieces of their demolished intelligence.  The above event is evidence for the prosecution's case for a charge of 'Conspiracy to commit Future Assault Causing Bodily Harm'

  In addition, this legal firm is imploring this community for any documented cases of criminal broadcasting activity commited by the aforementioned JORCH.  Please Include in this thread any testimonies or evidence you feel may be pertinent to our investigation.  Thank you for your attention.

  J.C.V. Damme,
(Chief Investigator and TimeCop)
and
Mr. T Cruise
  (Pre-cog & Future Crime Div.)

[pate]

I happened to have cans and cans of microbrews, and plenty of time on the night in question.

My testimony follows.

I was listening to the local sports radio far-off AM station, to get information on a team somewhat locatced(sp) [toomeric?] to my hometown, I did not understand the reference, but the local announcer seemeb to become incoherent, and abut abumbling...

This all aside, my local sports team vecame overcome by some sort of all-night infomecial... the horror...

I'd like to say I wasn[t listening, but then I had visions of Clockwork Orange...


https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=_4jQttzATo8

And that's about all I remember about that...


https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=WJ_yQ02xwsM

[wr250]

I happened to have cans and cans of microbrews, and plenty of time on the night in question.

My testimony follows.

I was listening to the local sports radio far-off AM station, to get information on a team somewhat locatced(sp) [toomeric?] to my hometown, I did not understand the reference, but the local announcer seemeb to become incoherent, and abut abumbling...

This all aside, my local sports team vecame overcome by some sort of all-night infomecial... the horror...

I'd like to say I wasn[t listening, but then I had visions of Clockwork Orange...


https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=_4jQttzATo8

And that's about all I remember about that...


https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=WJ_yQ02xwsM

quit adding aldous's mushrooms to your brews.

[albrecht]

on behalf of all 3rd strong-men, tin-pot dictators, 70's porn stars, and Persian rug merchants worldwide I submit an amicus curiae brief stating that George is making the mustache look bad.
-GNS

[StabWound]

on behalf of all 3rd strong-men, tin-pot dictators, 70's porn stars, and Persian rug merchants worldwide I submit an amicus curiae brief stating that George is making the mustache look bad.
-GNS

[attachimg=1]

OBJECTION, YOUR HONOR!
''moustache is looking good, nice lady is think moustache SEXY very much!''

[GeorgieForPresident2216]

I found this picture of George Ralph Noory.  Imagine my surprise when I found out it was actually Tom Selleck!

[attachimg=1]

[StabWound]

I found this picture of George Ralph Noory.  Imagine my surprise when I found out it was actually Tom Selleck!

  I think you are mistaken, friend.  That pic is clearly The esteemed G. Ralph Noory.  But I can see how you could make that mistake.  The likeness is shocking.

[onan]

  I think you are mistaken, friend.  That pic is clearly The esteemed G. Ralph Noory.  But I can see how you could make that mistake.  The likeness is shocking.

It is not noory. The guy in that picture knows how to use a towel.

[Kelt]

Say what you like about Noory... but his cover of Wrecking Ball proves the man is multi-talented.

[b_dubb]

This forum has already retained the Law Offices of Skeeter, Darryl and Darryl to build a class action suit against the Nooron, aka Jorch, aka Señor Pendejo, aka Snorry

[ACE of CLUBS]

Ron Jeremy / George Noory ............. same person ?

[George Drooly]

It is not noory. The guy in that picture knows how to use a towel.

I bet Noory snaps a mean towel when he and Tommy Boy are in the locker room.

[StabWound]

Ron Jeremy / George Noory ............. same person ?

It's a conspiracy.....the illuminati is behind it...international reptilian bankers.....also faked the moon landing of JFK....and so on.  I suggest we all  wrap ourselves in tinfoil to protect against the disinformation rays used to control my urinary tract.

Also, George Noory ate my baby like it was a 7 pound pizza roll, and the lib-rul media says nothing.

[wr250]

  It's a conspiracy.....the illuminati is behind it...international reptilian bankers.....also faked the moon landing of JFK....and so on.  I suggest we all  wrap ourselves in tinfoil to protect against the disinformation rays used to control my urinary tract.

Also, George Noory watched Tommy  eat my baby like it was a 7 pound pizza roll, proceeds to question, in depth, tommy on every gruesome detail of the act,and  the lib-rul media says nothing.

fixed

[StabWound]

In all seriousness, though, has the esteemed community of C2C enthusiasts ever endeavored to overthrow Jorch?  Like daily emails to his paymasters demanding his 'ouster'?  A coordinated campaign to flood his open lines with articulate criticisms of his obvious lack of qualification to sit upon 'The Iron Swivel Chair', and inform Jorch his 'Winter is Coming'?

[StabWound]

fixed

Jorch: When you eat a baby, does it grow up to be a MEAN baby?

[wr250]

In all seriousness, though, has the esteemed community of C2C enthusiasts ever endeavored to overthrow Jorch?  Like daily emails to his paymasters demanding his 'ouster'?  A coordinated campaign to flood his open lines with articulate criticisms of his obvious lack of qualification to sit upon 'The Iron Swivel Chair', and inform Jorch his 'Winter is Coming'?

a "#freejorchnoory" campaign ?

[StabWound]

Okay, so perhaps our shared disdain for Jorch is a minority opinion.  According to a press release from 2013 about Noory's signing of a ''long term'' contract (specifics undisclosed, but celebrity networth reports he earns 500,000 USD per annum) that is archived on The Premiere Network's Site, his presence is justified with shocking stats like how he  ''is ranked #1 in several markets, including Los Angeles, Houston, Seattle, Phoenix, Minneapolis, Sacramento, Cleveland, San Antonio, Las Vegas, Providence and Hartford'' and perhaps even more astonishingly, they go on to boast ''Coast to Coast AM's audience has grown 13% over the past two years, and in the past year alone, has experienced double and triple digit gains in major markets, including New York (+23%), Los Angeles (+25%), Houston (+121%) and Philadelphia (+167%)''  [PN cites the following as sources ' Arbitron, PPM, MAY'13, Exact Times, AQH Rank; Arbitron, Nationwide, FA'11 to FA'13, Exact Times, AQH, A 25-54; and Arbitron, PPM, MAY'13, Exact Times, AQH, P 12+''']  If these stats are accurate, then we have to put up with Noory for a LONG TIME; how long, you ask?  Well, the same press release quotes Moustache Georgie thusly; ''"By renewing my deal with Premiere Networks, I'll be around when astronauts land on Mars," sayeth he, and continues by muttering '' I look forward to many more years of bringing riveting programs during the late-night hours to our millions of listeners around the world."

  Gasp.  The prospect is terrifying, thats my read on the matter.  ''But Hey...'' one may rebut; ''Of course George is gonna speak highly of George!  But what do his employers think about him?'' 
  Well, in what may be the most horrifying quote of the press release is uttered by Ms. Julie Talbott, President of Content and Affiliate Services for National Media Groups, Clear Channel Media and Entertainment, in other words, one of George's Bosses.  She had this to say;"The continued growth and success of Coast to Coast AM is a testament to George's incredible talent and dedication, whoa.  Strong words.  Strong words about a sad, little man.  Oh, wait,  she has more verbal effluvium to unleash about the churlish Jorch; "Each year, George takes Coast to Coast AM to new heights, and we couldn't be happier to extend our partnership with him for years to come."

  I hope this lady is losing sleep each night as she chokes on her lies.  But my optimistic wish is probably erroneous.  She probably means those words, and the show which happens to include Jorch probably makes the Corporation many times what he is paid; in my opinion not a reflection of Jorch's earning power but a testament to the sheer force of Bell's will echoing from the Great Beyond as his disciples listen each night and endure Noory's Numb-Nuttery awaiting the Messianic return of Art Bell, whose legacy drowns out even the most horrid hosting known to man.

   

[PB the Deplorable]

... Well, in what may be the most horrifying quote of the press release is uttered by Ms. Julie Talbott, President of Content and Affiliate Services for National Media Groups, Clear Channel Media and Entertainment, in other words, one of George's Bosses.  She had this to say;"The continued growth and success of Coast to Coast AM is a testament to George's incredible talent and dedication, whoa.  Strong words.  Strong words about a sad, little man.  Oh, wait,  she has more verbal effluvium to unleash about the churlish Jorch; "Each year, George takes Coast to Coast AM to new heights, and we couldn't be happier to extend our partnership with him for years to come."

  I hope this lady is losing sleep each night as she chokes on her lies.  But my optimistic wish is probably erroneous.  She probably means those words...

Yes, we marveled at this at the time.

I'm quite certain NO ONE at Premrat has ever stayed up and listened to his show, or if they have it was early on.  Actually, a lot of his suckiness isn't fully obvious until a person hears it repeatedly over several shows

... '' I look forward to many more years of bringing riveting programs during the late-night hours to our millions of listeners around the world."...

I look forward to his first 'riveting' show. 

Unless he means listening to it sometimes feels like rivets are being driven into our skulls

[PB the Deplorable]

I wonder what George would do with a Fidget

[Heather Wade]

I look forward to his first 'riveting' show. 

Unless he means listening to it sometimes feels like rivets are being driven into our skulls

I always thought that's what it meant.

[Mr. Fidget]

I wonder what George would do with a Fidget

I can't say, although I have (without response) offered to give him some. Based on what I've seen, he would "play ostrich" at the slightest mention. Someday I'll post the four response emails (22 words total) he sent me, and the follow-up emails he ingnored to his "private" address.

mf

[albrecht]

   I can't say, although I have (without response) offered to give him some. Based on what I've seen, he would "play ostrich" at the slightest mention. Someday I'll post the four response emails (22 words total) he sent me, and the follow-up emails he ingnored to his "private" address.

mf

Yes, please post those emails. Have you ever tried to call in to the Norry version of C2C? If not you should try and see if your trick still works. Get George to talk about fidgets. I think it would confuse him.
ps: keep on fidgeting!
-GNS

[Kelt]

I think George Noory might actually be an anagram of Ron Jeremy.

It sounds like it is, leastways.

[PB the Deplorable]

I think George Noory might actually be an anagram of Ron Jeremy...

Gory Ogre

[Robert Ghostwolf's Ghost]

Gory Ogre

That's a good start, but it's not an anagram because you didn't use all the letters in his name. If you had gone with "One gory ogre," you would have been fine.   See how it works? 

[Robert Ghostwolf's Ghost]

Say what you like about Noory... but his cover of Wrecking Ball proves the man is multi-talented.

That guy is disgusting.  I sure hope there aren't any nude pictures of him anywhere where people can see them.

[George Drooly]

I think George Noory might actually be an anagram of Ron Jeremy.

It sounds like it is, leastways.

George is the kind of guy who is embarrassed by and ashamed of his own sexual feelings, even as a 65 year old person -- I hesitate to call him a man. Keep it clean for Good Ol' Mom and the sponsors.

[From the High Desert...]

Thank goodness I wasn't sipping my coffee when I read this thread, or there would have been some serious screen-splatter!

And my prayers go out to the innocent victims of Jorch "pizzarolls."