Author Topic: Saw Art yesterday  (Read 67975 times)

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Re: Saw Art yesterday
« Reply #390 on: November 19, 2016, 11:27:34 AM »
Saw Art yesterday.   He is still here in NC but apparently Airyn has returned home
to Pahrump as I didn't see her.

Mrs. Walks and I were enjoying dinner over at Fish Monger's in downtown Durham last
night.  Lo and behold, Art walks in.  He steps up to our table and says
"Didn't I see you at the golf course last week when I hustled all of those rubes?"
I told him that it was I and invited him to join us.  Art promptly ordered three dozen raw oysters.
As he was gunning them down, he stated "I'm an old man with a young wife. Gotta keep my
strength up".   While we were deep in conversation about the awfulness of Mike Siegel's
tenure at Coast to Coast AM, when some Duke Frat boys walked up.

They were wearing Delt Sig jackets and I knew this was gonna get interesting.
"Hey old man - we lost alot of money betting against you last week".  I thought,
"OMG there is gonna be a rumble".  However, I could not have been more wrong.
After a few minutes the Delt Sig's and Art were getting really chummy.  So much
so, that they invited them to a party at their house.  Art looked at me and growled
"Need a wingman - you in?"   Ever the good sport, Mrs. Walks gave me permission
to head out with Art.  So we piled into his groovy Geo Metro and pulled up in
front of the Delta Sigma Phi house.

They gave Art a cup of beer and he took a few timid sips.  He stated flatly,
"Drink giveth the desire but taketh away the ability".   About that time the
sisters of Alpha Kappa Delta Phi showed up.   Art did a 180 degree turnabout faster than
an Owls head spins.   He was bonging beers, doing shooters, hammering shots.
Then he got into the games:  Beer Pong, Quarters, Edward 40 Hands, Sink the Bismarck,
it didn't matter.   Art was an absolute beast - leaving a pile of passed out
Dukies in his wake.  I couldn't hang with the man - eventually I had to pull
the plug and go on home.

Next morning, bright and early I went out for my Saturday morning jog.  Figured
I'd cruise on past the Delt Sig house to see what was what.  Son of a gun if the
front door didn't open while I was running past.   It was Art - of course.
He had his arms around two Asian Sorority girls, he looked at me and
said "I don't need no stinking wingman.  Did just fine without ya"

Re: Saw Art yesterday
« Reply #391 on: November 22, 2016, 10:37:50 AM »
Saw Art yesterday.  Was sitting in my cube at work with Art just walked in off of the street.  He was walking by and noticed me. 
"You again, what are you doing dude?"  Told him that I had been trying to fix this FCoE device driver problem and was getting nowhere. 
"Get up.   Let me on in there", I quickly got up and let Art take a seat.

It was surreal. 

He popped into the debugger and started setting dynamic probes.  He pulled up vim and flew thru the code, adding  strategic printk's
as he went.   Recompiled and  and then fired up wireshark and started analyzing the LAN trace.  Next he increased the log level to maximum
and started digging thru the logs at something near light speed.   I tried to tell him that we had elastic search setup but he just growled
"That shit is a goddamn crutch, sed and awk is all I need".

Finally after about 40 minutes he threw his hands up in disgust.  He looked over at me and said "I can't figure this out - who do you
think I am, George Senda?"

Re: Saw Art yesterday
« Reply #392 on: December 24, 2016, 01:07:23 AM »


Re: Saw Art yesterday
« Reply #393 on: December 26, 2016, 12:10:14 AM »
I saw Art yesterday.




Re: Saw Art yesterday
« Reply #394 on: December 26, 2016, 01:00:36 AM »

Re: Saw Art yesterday
« Reply #395 on: December 31, 2016, 07:06:07 AM »
I saw Art yesterday.  Art, George and I went into a studio to listen to Richard's new ideas for his latest show and what we saw took us all aback.  Richard was standing there, dressed impeccably, a real tie, not one of those bolo things. Nicely trimmed beard too, shorter than what he usually sports. He proceeded to ramble on about the new direction his show would be taking but in all fairness to Richard, I can't reveal what he said because I'm sure he would want to be the first to tell you.  Anyway, Art and George and I exited the studio and went in search of an eatery.  We found one downtown, a bit run down but they did offer a real bargain on patty melts and fries so we went inside.  The lady manning the cash register was a real peach and I couldn't resist talking to her for a couple of minutes.  I went to look for Art and George but I couldn't find them anywhere so I got to thinking that they didn't find the place to their liking and had left.  So I followed suite and walked out.  I entered the vestibule on my way out (that little room you walk into before you enter the restaurant) and low and behold, there was a guy and a girl (in their late twenties, I would say.) and they were both naked.  They proceeded to have wild, upright sex and, as they didn't seem to mind that I was standing there, I decided to watch them.  Things went pretty good for a minute or so but then the girl got this awful look on her face and suffered explosive vomiting.  Splattered it all over her partner, and some of it hit me.  I raced out of the room and onto the sidewalk.  I noticed a ramp leading to a lower section of the eatery, so I walked down and entered it.  Still no Art and George but I did see a guy sporting a Liberace haircut wolfing down what looked like a bacon, tomato and avocado sandwich.  Something started to drip down onto his head and he paused and said, "What the hell is this?"  So I yelled at him, "Get out of there dude, that's vomit!"  He then said, "Oh no, I'm not supposed to be exposed to this stuff."  He exited the table and we both ran out onto the ramp and on up to the street.   

Re: Saw Art yesterday
« Reply #396 on: February 12, 2017, 11:16:02 AM »
You guys, I don't really know how to explain it properly, but I think my three year old daughter is the reincarnation of Art. Now, I know what you're saying "My lord, Art isn't dead" and you'd be correct, but hear me out.

I had dug out my old "My First Sony" cassette recorder, radio, and microphone set after finding a pack of unopened cassette tapes at a thrift store while doing some christmas shopping. So I got it all cleaned up and in working condition again and gave it to her for christmas. As soon as she opened up the gift bag she did the normal little kid routine of screaming and jumping around, just super excited about her gift for the year. Then she stops and got really serious. She opened up the cassette door and started looking at the internals, like really looking at them. After a minute of this she looks at me and started babbling about how dirty the heads were, and then looks me dead in the eyes and said how she couldn't be expected to broadcast a show with such low quality equipment and something about providing "the network" with low quality audio. I laughed it off, figured she was playing some kind of game.

Anyway, about a week goes by and she starts to develop this routine where every night at 10pm she gets out of bed, turns on a small desk lamp, and proceeds to interview one of her stuffed animals. I can hear her in her room saying things about how great the desert is, and sometimes she gets really worked up about "skeptricks" and "detrunkers" as she calls them and keeps mentioning the "hit rate" of one of her bears. There was one time where I swear she was talking about how beautiful asian women are, which is just nuts for a three year old girl to say, I probably didn't hear her right.

Now she's asking me for a clean ashtray every night. I don't know how she would have learned the word ashtray as no one she knows smokes and I doubt she's ever even seen an ashtray.

What should I do?

Re: Saw Art yesterday
« Reply #397 on: February 12, 2017, 04:46:48 PM »
You guys, I don't really know how to explain it properly, but I think my three year old daughter is the reincarnation of Art. Now, I know what you're saying "My lord, Art isn't dead" and you'd be correct, but hear me out.

I had dug out my old "My First Sony" cassette recorder, radio, and microphone set after finding a pack of unopened cassette tapes at a thrift store while doing some christmas shopping. So I got it all cleaned up and in working condition again and gave it to her for christmas. As soon as she opened up the gift bag she did the normal little kid routine of screaming and jumping around, just super excited about her gift for the year. Then she stops and got really serious. She opened up the cassette door and started looking at the internals, like really looking at them. After a minute of this she looks at me and started babbling about how dirty the heads were, and then looks me dead in the eyes and said how she couldn't be expected to broadcast a show with such low quality equipment and something about providing "the network" with low quality audio. I laughed it off, figured she was playing some kind of game.

Anyway, about a week goes by and she starts to develop this routine where every night at 10pm she gets out of bed, turns on a small desk lamp, and proceeds to interview one of her stuffed animals. I can hear her in her room saying things about how great the desert is, and sometimes she gets really worked up about "skeptricks" and "detrunkers" as she calls them and keeps mentioning the "hit rate" of one of her bears. There was one time where I swear she was talking about how beautiful asian women are, which is just nuts for a three year old girl to say, I probably didn't hear her right.

Now she's asking me for a clean ashtray every night. I don't know how she would have learned the word ashtray as no one she knows smokes and I doubt she's ever even seen an ashtray.

What should I do?
Line up sponsors, of course.  And give her whatever she wants, she's headed for the top.

Reminds me of when I was little, recording with Daddy on the Webcor with the magic eye tube, saying, "Mistake.  Erase."

Re: Saw Art yesterday
« Reply #398 on: February 12, 2017, 05:08:55 PM »
You guys, I don't really know how to explain it properly, but I think my three year old daughter is the reincarnation of Art. Now, I know what you're saying "My lord, Art isn't dead" and you'd be correct, but hear me out.

I had dug out my old "My First Sony" cassette recorder, radio, and microphone set after finding a pack of unopened cassette tapes at a thrift store while doing some christmas shopping. So I got it all cleaned up and in working condition again and gave it to her for christmas. As soon as she opened up the gift bag she did the normal little kid routine of screaming and jumping around, just super excited about her gift for the year. Then she stops and got really serious. She opened up the cassette door and started looking at the internals, like really looking at them. After a minute of this she looks at me and started babbling about how dirty the heads were, and then looks me dead in the eyes and said how she couldn't be expected to broadcast a show with such low quality equipment and something about providing "the network" with low quality audio. I laughed it off, figured she was playing some kind of game.

Anyway, about a week goes by and she starts to develop this routine where every night at 10pm she gets out of bed, turns on a small desk lamp, and proceeds to interview one of her stuffed animals. I can hear her in her room saying things about how great the desert is, and sometimes she gets really worked up about "skeptricks" and "detrunkers" as she calls them and keeps mentioning the "hit rate" of one of her bears. There was one time where I swear she was talking about how beautiful asian women are, which is just nuts for a three year old girl to say, I probably didn't hear her right.

Now she's asking me for a clean ashtray every night. I don't know how she would have learned the word ashtray as no one she knows smokes and I doubt she's ever even seen an ashtray.

What should I do?

I have a similar problem. My daughter may be the reincarnation of George Noory. She is a total fucking mush mouth. She slurs her words and is at times completely incomprehensible. She only asks me questions that she has scribbled with crayons onto 3 x 5 cards. She never listens to my answers and will often times either ask me a completely unrelated follow up question or repeat the question she just asked me. The thing that tipped me off to this is her addiction to Tostinos Pizza Rolls. And one last thing; she carries around a large oversized stuffed elephant she calls Timmy. Coinshidensh?

Re: Saw Art yesterday
« Reply #399 on: February 12, 2017, 08:13:15 PM »
I saw Art yesterday.  I was at the store to pick up some paper towels, and I saw him standing in front of the diaper section.  ''Art?'' I said, ''is that you?''.  He sort of squinted at me and nodded.  ''One of my cats is having a kitten'', he mumbled.  ''The big one.  She figured out how to use the can opener.  Michael Savage hates my cats''.

Just then, I heard the front door close, and Art dove for cover.  ''Get down'' he hissed.  ''Sniper.  Or maybe a firecracker.  Can you call Heather?''  I assured him it was just the front door, and he seemed relieved.  ''Oh', he said as he got up and brushed himself off, ''a person can't be too careful these days''.

''I have to go'', he said.  ''I only shop where they play my music''.  He started repeating the lyrics to the Catsup Song, paid for his diapers, and left.


Re: Saw Art yesterday
« Reply #400 on: February 13, 2017, 06:46:37 PM »
I saw Art yesterday.  I was at the store to pick up some paper towels, and I saw him standing in front of the diaper section.  ''Art?'' I said, ''is that you?''.  He sort of squinted at me and nodded.  ''One of my cats is having a kitten'', he mumbled.  ''The big one.  She figured out how to use the can opener.  Michael Savage hates my cats''.

Just then, I heard the front door close, and Art dove for cover.  ''Get down'' he hissed.  ''Sniper.  Or maybe a firecracker.  Can you call Heather?''  I assured him it was just the front door, and he seemed relieved.  ''Oh', he said as he got up and brushed himself off, ''a person can't be too careful these days''.  have to go'', he said.  ''I only shop where they play my music''.  He started repeating the lyrics to the Catsup Song, paid for his diapers, and left.
I must say, you're both clever and entertaining, PeanutButter.

Re: Saw Art yesterday
« Reply #401 on: April 15, 2017, 11:39:55 AM »
Saw Art yesterday at McCarran airport. Figured I'd shoot the shit with him while we waited for our flight to start boarding. As soon as I start to open my mouth he shusshes me and goes:

"Did you see that shit last week with the guy getting kicked off the plane. They overbook these fuckers like crazy."

"Yeah, I did Art, man that would have made some great radio for..."

"They gotta pay you now when they bump you off a flight, two grand I hear, its the only reason I'm here. I need that cash, bad. Do you think I want to go to fucking Detroit?"

At that point he moved over to the desk, oxygen tank in tow and "make america great again" hat blindingly red against the dull grey of the concourse. I think he wanted to be the first to volunteer to get bumped off the flight. Thing was the flight couldn't have been more than half full, judging from the crowd at the gate. I hung around until the final boarding call to see what would happen, and to soak in every minute I had in the presence of the king. It was obvious they weren't looking for people to give up their seat, and Art was pissed. So he pulls out a pack of American Spirits and lights up right there in the middle of the concourse. The gate agents kept asking him to put it out but he just grunted "Do something about it, I'm a veteran" at them. Well, that's when LVPD  showed up. As they dragged him out of the concourse, lit cigarette hanging from his lips and oxygen tank in tow, I'd like to think Art got his wish that day, though I doubt he'll get any money out of it.


Re: Saw Art yesterday
« Reply #402 on: August 23, 2017, 12:25:30 AM »
Quote
...Murph, shaddap...

That is all

Carroom!

Re: Saw Art yesterday
« Reply #403 on: March 30, 2018, 01:54:51 PM »
Art broke the lease I had with him for use of his guest house. Gave me less than 24 hours notice, which is a violation of the Nevada Tenant's Rights Act.

I am litigating further.

Re: Saw Art yesterday
« Reply #404 on: April 01, 2018, 01:00:43 PM »
I saw Art yesterday--he was posting something inane on Facebook.


Kudos.

Re: Saw Art yesterday
« Reply #405 on: June 22, 2018, 02:44:15 AM »
Saw ART yesterday.


Actually, no.  No, I didn't

Re: Saw Art yesterday
« Reply #406 on: June 22, 2018, 08:21:43 AM »
saw art... well heard art yesterday .
when asked about breaking his lawn care contract with  MV liberace by dying,  he came over the spirit box with a "no comment" . we heard no furth from him after that.

Re: Saw Art yesterday
« Reply #407 on: June 28, 2018, 02:34:09 PM »
saw art... well heard art yesterday .
when asked about breaking his lawn care contract with  MV liberace by dying,  he came over the spirit box with a "no comment" . we heard no furth from him after that.



I'm looking forward to the Ghost Adventures episode from Pahrump.

Re: Saw Art yesterday
« Reply #408 on: November 08, 2018, 08:35:55 PM »
Saw Art yesterday (the ghost of Art), he was peeping through a hole in the locker room wall at my local gym - checking out a group of young girls. He got a fright when I noticed him...and dropped his ghost-smoke.

I ran across the street to the post office, and did the right thing. I sent Heather that smoke. Lord knows she needs it. Heard she’s into that kinda thing. Old smokes from her old flame.

Re: Saw Art yesterday
« Reply #409 on: November 09, 2018, 08:17:19 AM »
Saw Art yesterday.

I was out at a home show looking at sheds to house my broadcast equipment. Found a really nice little unit with a metal roof and plenty of room. When I went to open the air vent, I saw Art's face on the other side.

He said "no one will ever believe you."

At least I think that was him.

Re: Saw Art yesterday
« Reply #410 on: November 09, 2018, 10:20:05 AM »
I hear he's a hand model nowadays...


Re: Saw Art yesterday
« Reply #411 on: November 09, 2018, 05:36:21 PM »
I hear he's a hand model nowadays...



Doh!

...brutal...

 ;)

Re: Saw Art yesterday
« Reply #412 on: November 09, 2018, 05:48:29 PM »
Penny for your thoughts.

Re: Saw Art yesterday
« Reply #413 on: November 09, 2018, 06:12:12 PM »
I hear he's a hand model nowadays...


I hope Art got one last chuckle. "Heh, heh... sewer pipe... heh, heh..."

Re: Saw Art yesterday
« Reply #414 on: November 10, 2018, 10:56:46 AM »
I hear he's a hand model nowadays...



Bwahahahahahahaha.   


No shit, Weiner.  When I go, I want you to post some cool shit for me.

Re: Saw Art yesterday
« Reply #415 on: November 10, 2018, 11:28:50 AM »
Bwahahahahahahaha.   


No shit, Weiner.  When I go, I want you to post some cool shit for me.

Will do! 
...it may take awhile.


Re: Saw Art yesterday
« Reply #416 on: November 10, 2018, 11:46:22 AM »

Re: Saw Art yesterday
« Reply #417 on: November 10, 2018, 12:42:35 PM »
Saw Art yesterday.

I was out at a home show looking at sheds to house my broadcast equipment. Found a really nice little unit with a metal roof and plenty of room. When I went to open the air vent, I saw Art's face on the other side.

He said "no one will ever believe you."

At least I think that was him.

That was Heather wearing an Art mask.

Re: Saw Art yesterday
« Reply #418 on: November 14, 2018, 12:05:15 PM »

Re: Saw Art yesterday
« Reply #419 on: November 16, 2018, 04:28:13 PM »
Saw Liberace yesterday - digging for gold - in the hindquarters of two identical blonde men.