Author Topic: Saw Art yesterday  (Read 71690 times)

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Re: Saw Art yesterday
« Reply #330 on: August 07, 2016, 08:48:38 PM »
Saw Art yesterday. He's still not talking to me.

Re: Saw Art yesterday
« Reply #331 on: August 08, 2016, 11:58:28 PM »
I saw Art at Costco.
He was pushing a cart, kind of hunched over the handle and had a service cat with him.
He kept making loops around the demos, eating and giving the cat some too.
Asked me to pick out a watermelon for him.
He had four pineapples in his cart already.

4 Pineapples a cat and a watermelon - I think I saw that movie. Indy film late at night. Channel 654 on DirectV. Gallagher or his brother Gallagher and when it got to the cat I changed the channel...

Re: Saw Art yesterday
« Reply #332 on: August 11, 2016, 03:29:28 AM »
Saw Art yesterday, he was in the passenger side of a '85 Yugo. Sorta red but with alot of rust damage. He was stopped at a light and when I looked  Whitley Strieber was at the wheel. So I walked over and said, "Hey Whitley what's up?" He said there were these Greys and they came to his place and scared him. I said, " Hey Whitley that was 25 years ago. Get a new hobby!" He called me a jerk and Art said yeah you're a jerk and you're banned for life from C2C. I said, " Art, you pissed away C2C then a guy named George stole it from Ian and you can't fucking ban me fuck head!" Art flipped me off and Whitley hit the gas and Art was lost in a cloud of exhaust smoke...


Re: Saw Art yesterday
« Reply #333 on: August 13, 2016, 03:38:23 AM »
Saw Art yesterday, he was looking like he has had better days. He was peering into a Petco muttering something like, "How much is that kitty in the window?" I said hey Art how you doin? He looked over at me and with a strange look on his face said, "I need a new cat." I said well what's wrong with your old cat Art? He looked back in the Petco window and mummbled, "I need a new fucking cat!" Taken aback I asked Art how many cats he has. He didn't look in my direction but said under his breath, "Fifty six give or take." I backed away a bit and said, "That's alot of fucking cats Art! I think you need an intervention." He looked towards me, through me and said fuck off! That's when I turned down the Andrew Lloyd Webber original recording of Cats that was kinda loud on my Galaxy S7 and walked away - besides, it was really gettin on my nerves...


Re: Saw Art yesterday
« Reply #334 on: August 14, 2016, 04:52:13 AM »
Saw Art yesterday, he was across the street. Hadn't seen him since Subic City in The Home Away From Home bar. That was a crazy night! So I walked over and said hey Art long time. He looked up from the parking meter he was standing by and said, "Olongapo, fuck that shit but do you have a couple of quarters?" No is all I said.

Re: Saw Art yesterday
« Reply #335 on: August 14, 2016, 06:19:55 AM »
Saw Art at a truck stop. He was heading south after two weeks in Alaska. His Winnebago had a trailer attached. It was loaded with copper wiring. Said he had just left HAARP a few days ago. Said he was selling the copper to afford the oxygen he was going to need.

Re: Saw Art yesterday
« Reply #336 on: August 14, 2016, 11:23:46 AM »
 Still cruising the truckstops? :-)

Re: Saw Art yesterday
« Reply #337 on: August 14, 2016, 03:05:04 PM »
Still cruising the truckstops? :-)

Do I ever ask about your frequent visits to the petting zoo?

Re: Saw Art yesterday
« Reply #338 on: August 14, 2016, 04:03:42 PM »
Saw Art yesterday.  He had a beard.

Re: Saw Art yesterday
« Reply #339 on: August 16, 2016, 04:07:51 AM »


Saw Art yesterday, he was at the fairgrounds queuing up for tickets for the Pahrump Fair and Festival. I walked over as Art was bumming a smoke off Heather Wade. I said hey Art how you doin? He glanced at Heather before he said, "Listen, I don't bother you so don't bother me. OK?" I said that I didn't mean to bother you Art, I just said hey. He said louder and louder, "Can you believe this? Can you believe this Heather? I don't fucking believe this shit!" People in line were looking at Art wondering what was going on. Trying to calm the situation I asked Art if he would sign my cool Comic-Con badge that I had with me. He held out his hand and took it and tore it into pieces and said, "How's that grab you, like a crotch full of fishhooks? Now fuck off!" Heather was looking down at the pieces of my cool Comic-Con badge in the dirt, and I said Art you suck! Art said, "Heather, you got a light?"...

Re: Saw Art yesterday
« Reply #340 on: August 17, 2016, 01:05:46 AM »
Saw Art yesterday, he looked like he was in the throes of something difficult. I was reminded of the '71 movie Harold and Maude. In this 21st century version Art was Maude and his young Filipina heart throb was Harold. Is ahe tearing ass around the PI in a really cool Jeepney that is regaled as a hearse? I'm just wondering...

Re: Saw Art yesterday
« Reply #341 on: August 17, 2016, 07:01:25 PM »
I saw Art yesterday!

In Guam, decked out in a hybrid Sombrero-cork hat, a Hawaiin shirt, cargo shorts, leather sandals, socks and a dusty rucksack. He was riding a rickshaw flanked by four native women in hula skirts. He had what appeared to be one of those C. Crane Pocket AM FM / NOAA Weather Radios in his hand, and of course his vape. He kept barking orders at the poor women, who were drenched in sweat and almost ready to collapse of exhaustion. It was dusk, but for some reason he was trying to pick up Coast on his radio. I was in such shock at seeing Art Bell with my very own eyes that I spaced out for a minute.

When I came to, I began chasing after him. When he caught wind of the fact I knew who he was, he must've mistaken me for someone wanting to do him harm and pulled out what looked like a pistol, aiming it right at me! It stopped me dead in my tracks.

Just then, a disc shaped craft descended onto the sand dunes a few feet off of the promenade! He slowly stood up and hopped off the rickshaw, relieving the woman of his bodyweight. He kept the gun aimed at me, while the spacecraft doors slid open a green mist escaping from the inside. Two shadowy figures then emerged from the craft.

Art pulled the trigger my life flashed before my eyes! All those years of excellent guests, late nights and even better questions, never to be heard again...

But, no bullets came out of the gun! Only liquid, what I intially thought was water, but soon learned was urine. Cat urine. Art cackled maniacally, tearing open his dirty rucksack to reveal to me one of his cats it happened so fast, I forget which!

He then bolted toward the spacecraft, quicker than I could say jack flash and two beings awaited him at the doorway of the craft. They had big, black eyes, were short and gray. As Art entered the craft and disappeared into the green mist still coming from the inside, the beings looked at each other, then at me... It was THEN that their eyes started to glow bright red!!!

They quickly returned to the inside of the craft, as I began running to toward them hoping to get a glimpse of the interior. But I had no luck! Before I could get there, the doors were tightly shut and the craft was already approximately six feet in the air. But the craft didn't shoot skyward. No! It hovered above me and an opening appeared. I was transfixed on it.

Finally, something approached the hole. More mist shot out. And then Art's pale, white ass mooned me! I don't remember what happened after that. There is a blank in my memory.

The next thing I knew, I was in my bed, it was 3:33 AM and my copy of Communion had fallen off my bookshelf and onto the floor. I got up and put it back in its place.

And I had a flashback of Art's ass!

Re: Saw Art yesterday
« Reply #342 on: August 19, 2016, 03:52:27 AM »
I saw Art yesterday!

In Guam, decked out in a hybrid Sombrero-cork hat, a Hawaiin shirt, cargo shorts, leather sandals, socks and a dusty rucksack. He was riding a rickshaw flanked by four native women in hula skirts. He had what appeared to be one of those C. Crane Pocket AM FM / NOAA Weather Radios in his hand, and of course his vape. He kept barking orders at the poor women, who were drenched in sweat and almost ready to collapse of exhaustion. It was dusk, but for some reason he was trying to pick up Coast on his radio. I was in such shock at seeing Art Bell with my very own eyes that I spaced out for a minute.

When I came to, I began chasing after him. When he caught wind of the fact I knew who he was, he must've mistaken me for someone wanting to do him harm and pulled out what looked like a pistol, aiming it right at me! It stopped me dead in my tracks.

Just then, a disc shaped craft descended onto the sand dunes a few feet off of the promenade! He slowly stood up and hopped off the rickshaw, relieving the woman of his bodyweight. He kept the gun aimed at me, while the spacecraft doors slid open a green mist escaping from the inside. Two shadowy figures then emerged from the craft.

Art pulled the trigger my life flashed before my eyes! All those years of excellent guests, late nights and even better questions, never to be heard again...

But, no bullets came out of the gun! Only liquid, what I intially thought was water, but soon learned was urine. Cat urine. Art cackled maniacally, tearing open his dirty rucksack to reveal to me one of his cats it happened so fast, I forget which!

He then bolted toward the spacecraft, quicker than I could say jack flash and two beings awaited him at the doorway of the craft. They had big, black eyes, were short and gray. As Art entered the craft and disappeared into the green mist still coming from the inside, the beings looked at each other, then at me... It was THEN that their eyes started to glow bright red!!!

They quickly returned to the inside of the craft, as I began running to toward them hoping to get a glimpse of the interior. But I had no luck! Before I could get there, the doors were tightly shut and the craft was already approximately six feet in the air. But the craft didn't shoot skyward. No! It hovered above me and an opening appeared. I was transfixed on it.

Finally, something approached the hole. More mist shot out. And then Art's pale, white ass mooned me! I don't remember what happened after that. There is a blank in my memory.

The next thing I knew, I was in my bed, it was 3:33 AM and my copy of Communion had fallen off my bookshelf and onto the floor. I got up and put it back in its place.

And I had a flashback of Art's ass!

This has movie written all over it.

Re: Saw Art yesterday
« Reply #343 on: August 20, 2016, 03:24:59 AM »


Saw Art yesterday, it was kinda strange. He was coming out of the DMV downtown. He walked over to a brand new Tesla and was kneeling down to put the registration sticker on the rear plate. It was hotter than hot - must have been 105 and Art was sweating like a dog. I said, "Hey Art, how you doin?" He said man it's hot! He was fumbling with the sticker and his hands were really shaking. Sweat was drippng off his nose onto his beard and onto his 'The Truth IS Out There Mulder and Scullme' t-shirt. Art said damnit and stuck the sticker on upside down. I said, "Nice car man! How far can you go before the battery shits the bed?" Art stood up and gave me a drop dead look and said excuse me? "What kinda range do you really get? I don't believe the 250 miles that Elon purports." Art said haven't I seen you somewhere? He was edging around to the faggy gull wing doors of the Model X. I said, "Yeah Art, it was at the Home Away From Home Bar in Olongapo, PI." Art said yeah right whatever I gotta go, I'm late for my cupping therapy session. "OK," I said, "just don't try charging your iphone 7 (how did Art get that already?) 'cause you won't have enough juice left to go across fucking town man!" Art said fuuuuck youuuu as the gull wing was whining shut and his Tesla purred off...

Re: Saw Art yesterday
« Reply #344 on: August 20, 2016, 04:53:11 AM »
The next thing I knew, I was in my bed, it was 3:33 AM and my copy of Communion had fallen off my bookshelf and onto the floor. I got up and put it back in its place.

And I had a flashback of Art's ass!

That's a good one Art...

Re: Saw Art yesterday
« Reply #345 on: August 20, 2016, 11:31:55 PM »
Saw Art yesterday, I must have been dreaming because I was nowhere near Nevada. I was on my Galaxy Note 7 chatting with The Boss. Short conversation 'cause he is really busy these days. But I got around to saying that Art Bell is a big supporter and that is a good thing. The Boss said, "Art who?" I said Art Bell, he used to be on the radio at night and he had like 12 million listeners. The Boss said, "Oh yeah, he talked about flying saucers and an alien autopsy film with the wrong kind of telephone cord. I remember that guy - he was interesting. Listen, I gotta run. I'm gonna say Paul, you're fired! Call again soon, OK!" I said I will and be well...

Re: Saw Art yesterday
« Reply #346 on: August 21, 2016, 08:56:58 AM »
Do I ever ask about your frequent visits to the petting zoo?
turns out it's a fine line between petting and  fondling. According to the judge anyway.

Re: Saw Art yesterday
« Reply #347 on: August 21, 2016, 09:21:11 AM »

Finally, something approached the hole. More mist shot out. And then Art's pale, white ass mooned me!



For some reason I read this line first without the context leading up to it.

Re: Saw Art yesterday
« Reply #348 on: August 21, 2016, 01:56:50 PM »
Do I ever ask about your frequent visits to the petting zoo?

I enjoy the petting zoo


Re: Saw Art yesterday
« Reply #349 on: August 21, 2016, 02:44:24 PM »
I saw Art yesterday!

He was in the airport bookstore, browsing the magazine rack. He had his hands in his pockets, looking over his shoulder conspicuously. At first, he was flipping through regular women's magazines, and then he moved on to the swimsuit section.

I decided not to bother him for an autograph. But I was early for my flight, so I sat at a restaurant and ordered some coffee. I was far enough away to go unnoticed, yet close enough to see what he was doing.

Just then, what looked like a bariatric in one of those electric wheelchairs passed the bookstore slowly. Art was engrossed in his magazine. All of a sudden, a man in a toupe with a black mustache went running after the wheelchair-bound fat man. He was carrying two duffel bags they seemed incredibly heavy. He threw the bags onto the fat cripples lap and shouted "Why'd you leave me, Tommy?"

Art was tearing through page after page of his magazine, sweating profusely. The man accompanying the cripple turned his head and got a massive surprise, clutching his chest. He ran over to Art, straightened up his tie and tapped him on the shoulder.

I was enjoying my coffee, it was good coffee. But I was done. I ordered another. I couldn't hear what Art or this man were saying, but Art seemed disinterested and grew increasingly annoyed at him.

The cripple went over to the two of them and began tugging on the mustached ones pant leg. "George, it's time to board" he groaned.

Art had his arms folded, the magazine rolled up in one of his hands. The fat guy and his friend then left and boarded their plane.

Airyn came through the check-in terminal, and Art quickly stuffed the magazine back on the rack under a Popular Mechanics. He knocked a couple paperbacks off the shelf on his way out and ran ahead of Airyn. She shook her head, apologized to the staff and went to get Art who was running from one corner of the building to the other with his arms outstretched making airplane noises.

They walked up to the restaurant I was in and Art yanked the no smoking sign off the wall and trampled on it. Then he spat at a passerby and flipped off a gay couple nearby.

Airyn wagged her finger at him, and he calmed down.

They boarded their flight shortly thereafter, and I realised I had missed mine!

Re: Saw Art yesterday
« Reply #350 on: August 21, 2016, 05:07:46 PM »
I saw somebody yesterday.  He asked that his name be left out of this post.  I'm leaving out the name of the place where we met, too, because they didn't pay me for a plug.

Re: Saw Art yesterday
« Reply #351 on: August 22, 2016, 02:44:17 AM »
Saw Art yesterday, he looked pretty good. He was at a Starbucks blending in with the crowd. After 6 weeks home from hospital he appeared fully recovered. I walked over and said hey Art how you doin? I heard about St. Rose - that's rough man! Art said, "Oh, I'm well. I may need one of those oxygen bottles you see people with. COPD is no joke. Thanks for asking." I said you know Art you should be a guest on MITD with Heather and let all your fans hear from you how you're doing. Let her interview you, it would be the best MITD show of the year! The barista called out, "Asia?" Art said, "Excuse me, that's my double espresso iced coconut milk mocha macchiato. Adio..."

Re: Saw Art yesterday
« Reply #352 on: August 22, 2016, 11:00:05 PM »
Saw Art yesterday. At the Olympics. He was in the stands with Airyn and Asia during closing ceremonies. All three were doing the Samba and having a great time. When they noticed they were on TV they waved excitedly. Art mouthed "Fuck you, stalker!" then turned around and mooned the home viewers. The camera quickly pulled away and the British TV announcer apologized for showing "the chap who took his revelry to dreadful extremes".

Re: Saw Art yesterday
« Reply #353 on: August 23, 2016, 06:15:56 AM »
And there Anarchist and I sat, warming our hands on the smouldering Saw Art Yesterday thread.

Re: Saw Art yesterday
« Reply #354 on: August 23, 2016, 06:39:11 AM »
Saw Art yesterday. He came up to go charter fishing for salmon. He arranged his charter through an online broker no doubt saving at least 10$. He was wheeled down the gangway in a tote reserved for fish. He hopped out the tote a nd almost tripped when his ocean Pacific flip flops made purchase on the dry planks. I said "come aboard sir" and outstretched my arm to help him on. He slapped my arm away as he leaned over the rail spying a landing spot on the stern. He shimmied himself on board face first catching his left flip-flop in the starboard scupper hole. He arose with the zinc sunscreen on his nose sporting a hint of blood. I asked if he was ok he replied ,"Give me a smoke man"?

Re: Saw Art yesterday
« Reply #355 on: August 23, 2016, 09:24:08 AM »
Someone saw Art yesterday.  Now there are two of him.

Re: Saw Art yesterday
« Reply #356 on: August 23, 2016, 10:15:52 AM »
Saw Art at my local Tim Hortons yesterday. He did a dump-and-dash then tore off in a pink PT Cruiser with giant Hello Kitty stickers all over it.  Delores(who was on toilet cleanup) said he left a massive bowl winder. "Fucker coulda at least bought a coffee" she exclaimed loudly. The old retired farmers nodded in agreement

Re: Saw Art yesterday
« Reply #357 on: August 23, 2016, 10:27:26 AM »
I Saw Art yesterday.



Re: Saw Art yesterday
« Reply #358 on: August 26, 2016, 03:55:18 PM »
I...I saw... Art yesterday.

I was in the woods, taking a walk, when all of a sudden one of my shoelaces came untied. When I knelt down to tie them again, I heard a rustling in the nearby brush (a stone throw away).

I heard what sounded like quacking and thought perhaps a couple ducks were waddling by a lake or some such. Then, a loud gunshot followed by two enormous Pelicans flew overhead. I realized the quacking was laughter. A peculiar  sort of cackling in a strange tone.   
                                           
More rustling. Footsteps. The brush parted. There he was.

He wore a jutti on each foot, and a phrygian cap on his head. Following along behind him were a row pygmies. One was sucking on a vape.

Art shouted something in pygmy, and the little people formed a circle. He looked me directly in the eye and grunted.

The pygmies surrounded him and lifted him up in the air. They then carried him off into a heavily vegetated area and I was on my way.

Re: Saw Art yesterday
« Reply #359 on: August 26, 2016, 06:28:33 PM »
Saw Art yesterday. He still owes me a $5 fidget.