Author Topic: Saw Art yesterday  (Read 68070 times)

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Re: Saw Art yesterday
« Reply #240 on: May 24, 2014, 11:26:18 PM »
Wonder if shit like that is hereditary?  My father had herniated disc issues in his lower back and had to go through 6 months traction.  I was diagnosed with two of them back in 2006.

Re: Saw Art yesterday
« Reply #241 on: May 26, 2014, 01:21:58 AM »
i will give you the answer that no dr. will give to a paitent with lower back pain your body is low in selenium it controls muscle and nerve regeneration .people with speech problems samething low in selenium.
Wonder if that will cure my Tourette's.

Re: Saw Art yesterday
« Reply #242 on: May 27, 2014, 06:28:43 AM »
I remember it like I remember my first heart attack...

I usually have my last smoke of the day in bed with the radio on, I like to listen to that guy that comes on in the last few hours before midnight, anyhow, there I was a listenin', that alarm I set on my phone to let me know it is fifteen 'till goes off.  Like the thing should, that's why I set it for everyday fifteen before devil's dawn comes, so I can remember to turn the thing off...

Anyhow, my left arm goes numb, can't move it!  It's like the aliens are about to abduct my left arm!  That's the one I use to turn the radio off B E F O R E it's too late!

The other one is holding the half-smoked cigarette I enjoy before the blissful silence...

Art (I guess he climbed in the window, but I don't have windows in the bunker) grabs the cig outta my right hand, takes a puff, then stabs it out in the ashtray next to the radio.  He smiles that devilish denture smile, (I feel at peace at this moment)...  Then he says something I don't remember exactly, something about not belieeeving...

Then it gets weird, he rips his own face off and it is someone else with a really bad moustache, something between Sadaam and Hitler...

Next thing I know the alarm I set on my phone is going off and I am going to be late for work... I leap out of bed, and land right into the mess the puppy left around the bed and the night stand in particular that the radio sits on... THAT moment is when I notice that the radio that is normally off during my morning wake-up ritual is on...

I think I dreamt it...  I am not sure...


Re: Saw Art yesterday
« Reply #243 on: May 27, 2014, 08:41:51 AM »
Now that you mention it, and I actually recall the dream/incident (dream-incident? incidental-dream? Another dram, y thnx u...) there was a guy with Tourette's involve-ed... not Art so, didn't think to include it in the description of the encounter...  He kept screaming something, I sort of ignored it but I did notice it... thanks for bringing that up!


Re: Saw Art yesterday
« Reply #244 on: June 19, 2014, 04:30:48 PM »
I saw art Bell in the market "Albertson" yesterday. I told him how cool it was to meet him in person, but I didn’t want to be a douche and bother him and ask him for photos or anything.

He said, “Oh, like you’re doing now?”

I was taken aback, and all I could say was “Huh?” but he kept cutting me off and going “huh? huh? huh?” and closing his hand shut in front of my face. I walked away and continued with my shopping, and I heard him chuckle as I walked off. When I came to pay for my stuff up front I saw him trying to walk out the doors with like pizza rolls in his hands without paying.

The girl at the counter was very nice about it and professional, and was like “sir, you need to pay for those first.” At first he kept pretending to be tired and not hear her, but eventually turned back around and brought them to the counter.

When she took one of the pizza rolls and started scanning it multiple times, he stopped her and told her to scan them each individually “to prevent any electrical infetterence,” and then turned around and winked at me. I don’t even think that’s a word. After she scanned each sandwich and put them in a bag and started to say the price, he kept interrupting her by yawning really loudly.

Then he gave her 200$ and told her that he was goin to pay for my groceries and then told the cashier to keep whatever was left. Then Art turn around Wink at me and left
did you smell any liquor?

Re: Saw Art yesterday
« Reply #245 on: July 10, 2014, 01:37:40 AM »
I'm dying laughing at this

Tears coming down my face...thank you all so much


 ;D

Re: Saw Art yesterday
« Reply #246 on: July 10, 2014, 03:26:19 AM »
Art Bell came down my chimney in the middle of the night and ate some cookies. Then he snuck into my room while I was asleep. He suddenly flashed the lights off and on while yelling "TURN DOWN YOUR RADIO!!!!"

I leapt from the bed, foaming at the mouth (as usual) and moved to strike him. When my fist was near making contact with Art Bell he disappeared in a flash of light.


HAHAHAH!!!!

roflmao.......omg

Re: Saw Art yesterday
« Reply #247 on: October 04, 2014, 12:21:20 AM »
Saw Art yesterday at the 7-11.  He was getting a Cola Nicotine slurpee.  We pretended not to know each other.

It was awkward.

Re: Saw Art yesterday
« Reply #248 on: October 04, 2014, 08:36:37 AM »
Not sure what this means, but I totally saw Art shoot two junkies in the face, laugh and walk away...

I was so stunned I stood there until the cops showed up...

I told 'em: "didna see a thing, bobby!"

Re: Saw Art yesterday
« Reply #249 on: October 04, 2014, 10:20:02 AM »
Yeah, I saw Art yesterday.

Thing is, it`s Harley Davidson bike week here. So, I was walking down the main drag with my girlfriend, watching all the heathens. Next thing I know, Art pulls up beside us on the nastiest Harley I`ve ever seen in my life! All he`s got on is leather chaps and boots.

Art takes a puff on his smoke, looks my girl straight in the eye and says "wanna take a ride??" Without any hesitation, she  hurdled onto the back of Arts hog, grabbed his man boobs like she owned`em, and off into the night they rode.


That was the last I saw of her.

 




Re: Saw Art yesterday
« Reply #250 on: October 04, 2014, 01:15:28 PM »
Yeah, I saw Art yesterday.

Thing is, it`s Harley Davidson bike week here. So, I was walking down the main drag with my girlfriend, watching all the heathens. Next thing I know, Art pulls up beside us on the nastiest Harley I`ve ever seen in my life! All he`s got on is leather chaps and boots.

Art takes a puff on his smoke, looks my girl straight in the eye and says "wanna take a ride??" Without any hesitation, she  hurdled onto the back of Arts hog, grabbed his man boobs like she owned`em, and off into the night they rode.


That was the last I saw of her.
"You are one pathetic loser!!"

Re: Saw Art yesterday
« Reply #251 on: October 04, 2014, 06:03:47 PM »
Yeah, I saw Art yesterday.

Thing is, it`s Harley Davidson bike week here. So, I was walking down the main drag with my girlfriend, watching all the heathens. Next thing I know, Art pulls up beside us on the nastiest Harley I`ve ever seen in my life! All he`s got on is leather chaps and boots.

Art takes a puff on his smoke, looks my girl straight in the eye and says "wanna take a ride??" Without any hesitation, she  hurdled onto the back of Arts hog, grabbed his man boobs like she owned`em, and off into the night they rode.


That was the last I saw of her.


bwahahha

moaooooar...lol

Re: Saw Art yesterday
« Reply #252 on: October 04, 2014, 09:19:09 PM »
I saw Art yesterday. He was walking up and my street. At first I thought he was walking a small dog. I got closer and realized it Hoagland's hair.

Re: Saw Art yesterday
« Reply #253 on: October 06, 2014, 12:26:46 AM »
I wish I could write a great "I saw Art Bell" post but I just don't have the talent like some of the MASTERS on here do!

Re: Saw Art yesterday
« Reply #254 on: October 06, 2014, 01:18:03 AM »
NextGen, you just write down your meeting with Art.  You just can't make this shit up!

Re: Saw Art yesterday
« Reply #255 on: October 11, 2014, 05:19:47 AM »
We was having this unsurmountable argurment about Archie vs Wolverine, good ol'murican 'n such comic discussions we wee folk get into...  I don't remember the specific argument or point 'twas that it happen'd.

There before us was this grate bum(per) muzak, and I ain't lyin' the man himself, sans toupee (Art needs no toupee, therin is proof of reality) but fully dentured, and so Oxycleaned therof that no smile wuz brighter.

Do I hear a "HELL YEAH"



Art sized (seized, suezed, SUE?) aup the kid and well... there is only musical legend left... 

But I saw it...



Aw, snap that goy was in Pretdator...

Re: Saw Art yesterday
« Reply #256 on: October 11, 2014, 06:53:40 AM »
Dangit, I lost my train of thought there:



where Bill always fails in theatricx, Art will always win in real life...

Twas about that age old argument, and somehow Art won.  If Bill gives you an idea how to lose, put that on a number line of how negative to do it and imagine myself as the zero point and our Saviour Art to be the other end of the spectrum...  Imagination does that;  never as nearly awesome as it was...

I would leave it to you, but Art both saved us all from somethingDyne, whilst simultaeneously rescuing us from Space Alien (I think a swift punch in the alien's face happened, but nevermind me) while negating the need for both movies and thereby creating the void to be filled by both and all their subsequent 'revisits' (there is a word that is not sequel there)... and thus saving us from such.

There it gets a bit sketchy, he showed me the magical Time Machine that gave us the last 17 years of uninterrupted joy of hearing his fatherly voice upon the airwaves, AND explained why he had to go back and give a 'slow' kid the microphone.  Then, inexplicap(able)ly stabbed out my own 2015 (was it the 1995?) smoke I'd smoked upon? 

The guests that would have explained that all, and Art explained it...  I have a unique understanding now, but his dang time machine...

I am now seeking surgery to repair whatever happened to my right eye, and no one will understand, but HE told me that it is actually okay to mix Jim Beam with Sprite!

I know, heresy.  But I believe...

Re: Saw Art yesterday
« Reply #257 on: October 11, 2014, 07:24:21 AM »


Re: Saw Art yesterday
« Reply #258 on: October 14, 2014, 10:05:18 PM »
Going to meet Art tomorrow.  Just for coffee.  To clear the air a little between us.  Should I wear the salmon wife beater he bought me for Christmas......or will that send the wrong message?

Re: Saw Art yesterday
« Reply #259 on: October 15, 2014, 06:20:45 AM »
There I was fishing for Salmon, right the by the first levee...  I thought about fish in a barrel...  But then it was just fish spawnin'....  Was I there just for fishn'
 or easy fish?  I dunno...  All I know is that I was there looking or hooking, and out of the blue a bear, big one with human paws plucked one live out of the whole scene and slapped me in the face with a salmon, fresh not frozen, and equate that to a halibut!


I just recall looking at a single hand with a salmon tail in it before the fish slapped me full in the face...  this is all apropcryphal (sp) something like "your whole argument is destroyed"  just to simplify the story.  And followed by a statement, but more like an announcement:  "Let's go to Open Lines;  West of the Rockies you wanted to punch on our guest, go ahead!"

Unspoken was the steely look while I "fished" my rainbow trout out of the freaking stream...  He didn't so much mutter, but announce that 'we' were fishing for Salmon that day, unbeknownst to me, he did compliment my trout only after taking a drag and stabbing out my celebratorty (sp) cigarette...


I have finally learned the definiten of respect...

Re: Saw Art yesterday
« Reply #260 on: October 15, 2014, 11:11:43 AM »
There I was fishing for Salmon, right the by the first levee...  I thought about fish in a barrel...  But then it was just fish spawnin'....  Was I there just for fishn'
 or easy fish?  I dunno...  All I know is that I was there looking or hooking, and out of the blue a bear, big one with human paws plucked one live out of the whole scene and slapped me in the face with a salmon, fresh not frozen, and equate that to a halibut!


I just recall looking at a single hand with a salmon tail in it before the fish slapped me full in the face...  this is all apropcryphal (sp) something like "your whole argument is destroyed"  just to simplify the story.  And followed by a statement, but more like an announcement:  "Let's go to Open Lines;  West of the Rockies you wanted to punch on our guest, go ahead!"

Unspoken was the steely look while I "fished" my trouser trout out of my pants...  He didn't so much mutter, but announce that 'we' were fishing for Salmon that day, unbeknownst to me, he did compliment my trout only after taking a drag and stabbing out my celebratorty (sp) cigarette...


I have finally learned the definiten of respect...
  A very telling statement re: the relaxing aspect of fishing.

Re: Saw Art yesterday
« Reply #261 on: October 15, 2014, 12:00:05 PM »
Saw Art Yesterday...well, I think it was Art.[attachimg=1]

Re: Saw Art yesterday
« Reply #262 on: October 15, 2014, 01:10:01 PM »
Saw Art Yesterday...well, I think it was Art.[attachimg=1]

Or it could have been Captain Kirk trapped in another spatial interphase, Lt.

[attachimg=1]

Re: Saw Art yesterday
« Reply #263 on: October 15, 2014, 01:13:07 PM »
Or it could have been Captain Kirk trapped in another spatial interphase, Lt.

[attachimg=1]

That Captain Kirk... always has time to stalk the ladies even when he's stuck between dimensions.

Re: Saw Art yesterday
« Reply #264 on: October 15, 2014, 01:24:51 PM »
That Captain Kirk... always has time to stalk the ladies even when he's stuck between dimensions.

"If life gives you lemons in one dimension and you are able use them to make lemonade in another, it would be logical to do so."  -- Old Vulcan proverb

Re: Saw Art yesterday
« Reply #265 on: October 15, 2014, 02:30:38 PM »
Or it could have been Captain Kirk trapped in another spatial interphase, Lt.

[attachimg=1]

Given Art's recent comments on Facebook, I'm thinking it really was him.  It appears he's been assimilated into the fear-peddling Savage-Jones-Snoory tribe.

Re: Saw Art yesterday
« Reply #266 on: October 15, 2014, 02:57:58 PM »
Given Art's recent comments on Facebook, I'm thinking it really was him.  It appears he's been assimilated into the fear-peddling Savage-Jones-Snoory tribe.

That's a shame.  He's probably planting a quadrotriticale survival garden now.

Re: Saw Art yesterday
« Reply #267 on: October 15, 2014, 03:29:13 PM »
That's a shame.  He's probably planting a quadrotriticale survival garden now.

And stocking up on Pizza Rolls[attachimg=1]

Re: Saw Art yesterday
« Reply #268 on: October 15, 2014, 05:54:09 PM »
Or it could have been Captain Kirk trapped in another spatial interphase, Lt.

[attachimg=1]

Sorry to stay off topic, but you just inspired my new one-man broadway play.  How I'm ever going to do it by myself I'll never know.

Scene:  Uhura's Quarters.  Uhura in bra and panties.  Image of Captain Kirk in hazmat suit waving around like a ghost in Uhura's mirror.
Uhura:  "Captain Kirk!  Captain Kirk!  Are you okay?"
Uhura:  "Stay right there.  I'll get you out."

Scene:  Bridge
Uhura:  "Mr. Spock, Captain Kirk is trapped between dimensions in an interphasial shift!"
Spock:  "Where did you see the Captain, Lieutenant?"
Uhura:  "I was getting dressed when I saw him in my mirror."
Spock:  "Interesting.  I'm afraid there isn't much that can be done."
Uhura:  "Oh please Mr. Spock!  You have to save the Captain!"
Spock:  "I will look into it.  Dismissed Lieutenant."

Scene:  Uhura's Quarters.  Uhura steps out of her shower and looks into the mirror.  Image of Captain Kirk and Spock in hazmat suits waving around like ghosts in Uhura's mirror.
Uhura:  "Oh Captain Kirk and Mr. Spock!  You're both trapped in my mirror."
Uhura: "Stay calm!  I will get help."

Scene:  Medbay
Uhura:  "Dr. McCoy, I was stepping out of my shower when I saw Captain Kirk and Mr. Spock trapped in an interphasial shift within my mirror."
McCoy:  "In the shower you say... 
Uhura:  "what?"
McCoy:  "I'll get right on it."
Uhura:  "Oh please hurry Doctor"

Scene:  Uhura's Quarters.  Uhura in lingerie getting ready for bed.  Image of Captain Kirk and Spock in hazmat suits along with Dr. McCoy in his regular uniform, this time all staring out of Uhura's mirror.
Uhura:  "Great Goddess Isis!"
*Uhura runs into halway and spots Mr. Sulu.
Uhura:  "Mr. Sulu!  Captain Kirk, Mr. Spock, and Dr. McCoy are all trapped in an interphasial shift in my mirror.  Please help."
*Uhura and Sulu return to the mirror.
Sulu: "This will only take a moment.  I just have to reverse my phasor's polarity.  I'm surprised Comander Spock didn't think of this."
*Kirk, Spock, and McCoy frantically wave him off
Uhura: "Stop, Mr. Sulu.  I think they are saying you're going to hurt them."
Sulu:  "Nonsense.  We used to do this all the time at the academy."
*Sulu points his phasor.  In the mirror, Kirk quickly grabs Spock's phasor and shoots Sulu through the mirror.

Scene:  Security Crewman's quarters.  Muscular male crewman steps out of shower and grabs a red shirt.  Sulu looks back from inside the mirror.
Sulu:  "Oh my!"

Re: Saw Art yesterday
« Reply #269 on: October 15, 2014, 10:02:13 PM »
I apologize for getting some of my terminology wrong.  I hope that doesn't take away from the story.  I figured RGG was making up the term spatial interphase but as usual he got it right.