Author Topic: Saw Art yesterday  (Read 66215 times)

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Re: Saw Art yesterday
« Reply #180 on: January 30, 2014, 12:24:37 AM »
saw art yesterday...

im pregnant

Re: Saw Art yesterday
« Reply #181 on: January 30, 2014, 04:56:55 AM »
I drove down to Walmart for a late night Subway run this evening.  You know, it's one of those Subways that is inside the store, near the front.   Anyway, I passed by the redbox on my way in and there was this guy,  but I only glanced at him for just a second.  Well I went on my merry way, ordering myself a breakfast sandwich, as I do often, just before they close, thinking absolutely nothing of the guy at the redbox anymore.   I love the ham, egg and cheese footlong.  Yes, I said it, footlong.   Anyhoo, as the girl at the counter is heating up my sandwich, I turn around and see that same guy at the checkout.  Guess what he's buying?  A roll of tin foil, some 9V batteries and some hand lotion.  Having heard the latest Gabcast, it really made me wonder.  WTF was this guy doing at nearly midnight with these three items?   I had to ask, or at least get a closer look at the guy.  I paid for my meal, got my sandwich, a coke and I went for the chocolate chip cookie this time instead of my usual Tim's Cascade chips, in honor of the death of FalkieGab.  I figured a treat might cheer me up.  So, the guy had his head down, and he was signing the credit machine as I slowly approached.  I took a sip of my sugar drink.  One of those awkward sips that looks odd to the others around you when you do it, your head up, the straw dangling from your puckering mouth.  You know the type.   Something seemed off, and it wasn't the strange purchase.  This guy looked up, and based on this thread title, you guessed it.  Art Fucking Bell.   He looked at me and said, "Don't ask."   I didn't.   I did notice the movie in his left hand, that he had retrieved from the redbox machine a few minutes prior...  White Noise.   No shit.

Re: Saw Art yesterday
« Reply #182 on: January 30, 2014, 02:15:41 PM »
I went to RadioShack to buy some arduino boards for a project.  A couple of Men In Black emerged from the shop as I parked the car.  I slid down in the seat.  Then Art emerged pushing a shopping cart filled with cables and assorted electrical components. They started walking towards a big black Suburban with blacked out windows and an array of antennae.  As they passed by my car I heard Art say something about going to Lowes to pick up more cable and then a rental place to pick up a crane to "raise the new tower".  Art stopped next to my car and I thought for sure I was done.  Then in his signature voice he said "Wanna take a ride?".  I was stunned and after a moment whisphered "No thank you".  Art just sighed and said "suit yourself".  The MIB's loaded the gear in the back of the enormous black Suburban.  They drove off with Art in the back seat.  Suddenly Dr Jonathan Reed came bounding out of the nearby PetSmart.  He did a series of cartwheels, a couple of backflips and then started to scream "I've got a really nasty alien in my freezer".  And then he began running around the parking lot, hands flailing.  Suddenly the big black Suburban returned, racing through the parking lot at a high rate of speed.  It began to close in on Reed and then struck him at high speed without applying the brakes.  Reed shot up into the air.  When Reed's body returned to earth the Suburban braked and then backed up over him and then began to repeatedly drive over him and back up over him.  This went on for several minutes.  Then the Suburban broke away from the wet spot in the pavement and drove right at my car.  The Suburban came to a screeching halt right next to my car.  The rear window slowly rolled down.  Art leaned out and lowered his pilot sunglasses.  "Hey buddy", he said "You wouldn't happen to have John Hogue's home address would you?".  I said no and the Suburban tore off in a cloud of smoke and turned invisible.


Re: Saw Art yesterday
« Reply #183 on: February 01, 2014, 01:41:32 AM »
Saw Noory in my back yard yesterday. Called the cops. When they got here I said "HE'S OUT BACK, PLEASE TERMINATE WITH EXTREME PREJUDICE!"

As it turns out, all they could find was doggie Poo-Poo. My eyes must have played a cruel trick on me. How dare they.


Re: Saw Art yesterday
« Reply #184 on: February 08, 2014, 04:06:48 PM »
Some of you are quite talented. Seriously!

Re: Saw Art yesterday
« Reply #185 on: February 08, 2014, 05:32:14 PM »
Art's penis ended up in my throat again somehow.  Seriously, I don't know how that keeps happening.

Re: Saw Art yesterday
« Reply #186 on: February 08, 2014, 05:33:09 PM »
Art's penis ended up in my throat again somehow.  Seriously, I don't know how that keeps happening.

i wish there were some way to measure how jealous everyone is.

Re: Saw Art yesterday
« Reply #187 on: February 08, 2014, 05:38:28 PM »
Art's penis ended up in my throat again somehow.  Seriously, I don't know how that keeps happening.

How else do you expect him to wipe your poop off it?

Re: Saw Art yesterday
« Reply #188 on: February 08, 2014, 05:58:33 PM »
Art's penis ended up in my throat again somehow.  Seriously, I don't know how that keeps happening.

Was Art attached to the penis? I mean physically, not emotionally.

Re: Saw Art yesterday
« Reply #189 on: February 09, 2014, 01:06:42 AM »
Was Art attached to the penis? I mean physically, not emotionally.

He was there briefly, it was just a fast blast.

i wish there were some way to measure how jealous everyone is.

Try 'inches'.

Re: Saw Art yesterday
« Reply #190 on: February 09, 2014, 11:40:05 AM »
maybe it was looking for the Wormhole.

Re: Saw Art yesterday
« Reply #191 on: February 10, 2014, 02:37:09 AM »
Was Art attached to the penis? I mean physically, not emotionally.
In my head, I hear the song 'Detachable Penis.' 

Now I'm visualizing Art lip syncing this song.   Eeeesh!

Re: Saw Art yesterday
« Reply #192 on: February 11, 2014, 11:41:17 AM »
In my head, I hear the song 'Detachable Penis.' 

Now I'm visualizing Art lip syncing this song.   Eeeesh!
A King Missile Classic!

Re: Saw Art yesterday
« Reply #193 on: February 11, 2014, 02:00:54 PM »
I saw Art yesterday.  He said he was selling frozen fish fillets out the back of his truck, but I think he was really here collecting the neighborhood cats.

Re: Saw Art yesterday
« Reply #194 on: April 19, 2014, 06:38:29 PM »
This thread was fucking awesome.

Re: Saw Art yesterday
« Reply #195 on: April 19, 2014, 08:19:19 PM »
This thread was so good that I found myself reading the stories with the voice of Art Bell in my head and not Whitley Weeber, which is rare.

Re: Saw Art yesterday
« Reply #196 on: April 19, 2014, 10:43:31 PM »
This thread was fucking awesome.

Then Art Bell came to town. It wasn't in no fancy red car with a producer along side either. No, Art quietly came to town to show awesome the "other side" of town. Awesome is now sitting on the curb, stale breath, beads of sweat running down her cheek, holding a half smoked cigarette, wondering how long before the ache subsides.

Re: Saw Art yesterday
« Reply #197 on: April 23, 2014, 04:16:32 PM »
Saw Art at the internet Hardware store yesterday. He was buying some blinking 90s style under construction signs for his website. Keith was with him. Stay tuned.

Re: Saw Art yesterday
« Reply #198 on: April 27, 2014, 02:48:23 AM »
I was playing pinball at the pizza parlor last night.  You know how it is, you approach hi score and sure as shit, somebody wants to crowd you and give you advice on when to 'stick it, stick it now!'  I see  my last ball slide away fm my flippers and drop away....end of game.

I turn around pissed, ready to jack this 'tard up for screwing with my game.  Fuck me to tears, it's Art Fuckin' Bell....Bigger than shit.  I'm looking down into his unblinking eyes as he sucks on his electronic dick, I mean cig.  "What....what are you doing here?" 

Art takes another long suck on his cig and then takes it fm his mouth....saliva stringing out fm his mouth, connected to the electric smoke.  "Want a suck?  It's Pizza Punch flavor.  Go ahead.  You know how you used to love it.  "

And then again, after all these weeks, he made me feel dirty.  Again.  "Art.  Come on man...."
 Art gives an unblinking grin, "Oh yes, I want to come on man." 
"Art stop it.  We're done, man."
"Come on paladin, the cars outside.  Wanna take a ride...for old times sake?" 

"Dude, it's over.  Just like your career.  You quit me the same way you quit the airways." He steps back as if I had slapped him across the face with a dead fish and for the first time he blinks, slowly, the lids making a *shickShnick* sound as they close and open fm side to side.  Not like ours, up and down.   

He shakes his head and moon walks back to the jukebox. He pulls his shirt open exposing the fish belly white chest.  "Oh God!" I cry, I look around for help but everyone seems to frozen in place, like living still life.  "This isn't happening."

"Oh it's happening big man, it's happening."  He jerks his head to the right as he speaks and reaches out with one nicotine stained fist and thumps the juke.  And I know the music before it even begins to play.  'Somewhere in a lonely hotel room, there's a guy starting to realize That eternal fate has turned its back on him,It's 2 a.m..........'

And then Art begins to lipsync....badly.  And then I begin to spiral down......

Re: Saw Art yesterday
« Reply #199 on: April 27, 2014, 03:08:29 AM »
Sincerely, thank you for your service to us. <3 <3 <3.

Re: Saw Art yesterday
« Reply #200 on: April 27, 2014, 07:11:22 AM »
i saw art yesterday . he was on his laptop. looked over his shoulder and he was downloading the "Ultimate Art Bell Collection" torrent.

Re: Saw Art yesterday
« Reply #201 on: April 28, 2014, 07:18:35 PM »
well...it was a few days ago as far as I remember, but it was the real McCoy for certain, even saw Ramona Bell, Whitley and Anne Strieber...Meeting all was very special.

10/31/99

[attachimg=1]

Re: Saw Art yesterday
« Reply #202 on: April 28, 2014, 09:00:58 PM »
well...it was a few days ago as far as I remember, but it was the real McCoy for certain, even saw Ramona Bell, Whitley and Anne Strieber...Meeting all was very special.

10/31/99

[attachimg=1]

WOW. Whitley and Victor in the same photo.

Re: Saw Art yesterday
« Reply #203 on: April 28, 2014, 09:41:33 PM »
well...it was a few days ago as far as I remember, but it was the real McCoy for certain, even saw Ramona Bell, Whitley and Anne Strieber...Meeting all was very special.

10/31/99

[attachimg=1]

Ashtray, front and center! lmao, classy.

Re: Saw Art yesterday
« Reply #204 on: April 30, 2014, 03:27:42 PM »
This thread was pretty damn hysterically funny until the angry/bashing "sex with Art" duds started piling up. Looks like lots of self acceptance is desperately needed here, folks. I get it. You're okay. Come on out (of the closet), the water's fine.

Re: Saw Art yesterday
« Reply #205 on: May 01, 2014, 06:17:16 PM »
This thread was pretty damn hysterically funny until the angry/bashing "sex with Art" duds started piling up. Looks like lots of self acceptance is desperately needed here, folks. I get it. You're okay. Come on out (of the closet), the water's fine.
I dunno.  Is that a hot tub or are you just gassy?

Re: Saw Art yesterday
« Reply #206 on: May 01, 2014, 07:40:04 PM »
Sincerely, thank you for your service to us. <3 <3 <3.
Semi Truck Backing Up Extremely Important Tips:
 

Re: Saw Art yesterday
« Reply #207 on: May 01, 2014, 11:35:19 PM »
I wonder if Art is a high five kind of guy, or has he adopted fist bumps?  Maybe he's a hugger.

Re: Saw Art yesterday
« Reply #208 on: May 02, 2014, 12:21:09 AM »
Speaking as an individual with my own chronic spinal injury, I am willing to bet he is simply going with the Distanced Middle Digit, as often as possible.

^^!^^

Re: Saw Art yesterday
« Reply #209 on: May 02, 2014, 09:26:03 PM »
saw art yesterday...

im pregnant

Any ultrasound pics yet?