Author Topic: Saw Art yesterday  (Read 66106 times)

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Saw Art yesterday
« on: January 07, 2014, 11:13:20 PM »
I saw art Bell in the market "Albertson" yesterday. I told him how cool it was to meet him in person, but I didn’t want to be a douche and bother him and ask him for photos or anything.

He said, “Oh, like you’re doing now?”

I was taken aback, and all I could say was “Huh?” but he kept cutting me off and going “huh? huh? huh?” and closing his hand shut in front of my face. I walked away and continued with my shopping, and I heard him chuckle as I walked off. When I came to pay for my stuff up front I saw him trying to walk out the doors with like pizza rolls in his hands without paying.

The girl at the counter was very nice about it and professional, and was like “sir, you need to pay for those first.” At first he kept pretending to be tired and not hear her, but eventually turned back around and brought them to the counter.

When she took one of the pizza rolls and started scanning it multiple times, he stopped her and told her to scan them each individually “to prevent any electrical infetterence,” and then turned around and winked at me. I don’t even think that’s a word. After she scanned each sandwich and put them in a bag and started to say the price, he kept interrupting her by yawning really loudly.

Then he gave her 200$ and told her that he was goin to pay for my groceries and then told the cashier to keep whatever was left. Then Art turn around Wink at me and left

Re: Saw Art yesterday
« Reply #1 on: January 07, 2014, 11:18:14 PM »
I saw art Bell in the market "Albertson" yesterday. I told him how cool it was to meet him in person, but I didn’t want to be a douche and bother him and ask him for photos or anything.

He said, “Oh, like you’re doing now?”

I was taken aback, and all I could say was “Huh?” but he kept cutting me off and going “huh? huh? huh?” and closing his hand shut in front of my face. I walked away and continued with my shopping, and I heard him chuckle as I walked off. When I came to pay for my stuff up front I saw him trying to walk out the doors with like pizza rolls in his hands without paying.

The girl at the counter was very nice about it and professional, and was like “sir, you need to pay for those first.” At first he kept pretending to be tired and not hear her, but eventually turned back around and brought them to the counter.

When she took one of the pizza rolls and started scanning it multiple times, he stopped her and told her to scan them each individually “to prevent any electrical infetterence,” and then turned around and winked at me. I don’t even think that’s a word. After she scanned each sandwich and put them in a bag and started to say the price, he kept interrupting her by yawning really loudly.

Then he gave her 200$ and told her that he was goin to pay for my groceries and then told the cashier to keep whatever was left. Then Art turn around Wink at me and left
Wow, that's weird. The same thing happened to me today.

Re: Saw Art yesterday
« Reply #2 on: January 08, 2014, 12:23:28 AM »
Damn! I thought this thread was going to be about art made from saw shavings from yesterday.



Re: Saw Art yesterday
« Reply #3 on: January 08, 2014, 12:35:47 AM »
Art once kicked me in the bean bag at a bus stop in Lima, OH. Walked right up, kicked me square. Haven't respected him as much since.


Re: Saw Art yesterday
« Reply #4 on: January 08, 2014, 01:32:18 AM »
Is Art a guy with no arms and legs and is on the wall?

Re: Saw Art yesterday
« Reply #5 on: January 08, 2014, 02:27:31 AM »
If Art and Chuck Norris got in a fight. Who wins?

Re: Saw Art yesterday
« Reply #6 on: January 08, 2014, 02:31:05 AM »
If Art and Chuck Norris got in a fight. Who wins?
Check Norris will win because Art Will Quit. Art is good at quitting.

Re: Saw Art yesterday
« Reply #7 on: January 08, 2014, 06:51:13 AM »
Art once kicked me in the bean bag at a bus stop in Lima, OH. Walked right up, kicked me square. Haven't respected him as much since.

Didn't he sign your cat box as well?

Re: Saw Art yesterday
« Reply #8 on: January 08, 2014, 07:45:33 AM »
Then he gave her 200$ and told her that he was goin to pay for my groceries and then told the cashier to keep whatever was left. Then Art turn around Wink at me and left

Then, when you were pushing your grocery cart in the parking lot, Art popped out from behind a car, snatched one of your cans of Vienna Sausages, and said "No one will ever believe you."

Re: Saw Art yesterday
« Reply #9 on: January 08, 2014, 09:18:10 AM »

Then, when you were pushing your grocery cart in the parking lot, Art popped out from behind a car, snatched one of your cans of Vienna Sausages, and said "No one will ever believe you."
Then he popped open a can of Pizza Punch Sauce, lathered it all over the stolen sausages, and he hopped up, (waaayyy up) into the Dodge Ram that Chuck Norris was driving, and they did donuts in Albertson's parking lot.

Re: Saw Art yesterday
« Reply #10 on: January 08, 2014, 10:10:35 AM »
Art Bell keeps stealing my luggage. And it's not funny.

Re: Saw Art yesterday
« Reply #11 on: January 08, 2014, 10:41:35 AM »
Then he popped open a can of Pizza Punch Sauce, lathered it all over the stolen sausages, and he hopped up, (waaayyy up) into the Dodge Ram that Chuck Norris was driving, and they did donuts in Albertson's parking lot.

All the while yelling, "THAT'LL TEACH YOU TO CALL ME ON A CELL PHONE, MISSY!"

And his "you" was crisp and succinct.

Re: Saw Art yesterday
« Reply #12 on: January 08, 2014, 10:44:31 AM »
Art once kicked me in the bean bag at a bus stop in Lima, OH. Walked right up, kicked me square. Haven't respected him as much since.

Were you pronouncing Lima, OH correctly, MV?  You know how Art is a stickler for correct pronunciations.  I hope you weren't pronouncing Lima incorrectly on a cell phone.  That would definitely push Art over the edge.  Damn cell phones.

http://www.grammarly.com/answers/questions/1268-whats-the-correct-pronunciation-for-lima/
 

Re: Saw Art yesterday
« Reply #13 on: January 08, 2014, 01:22:47 PM »
Did Art turn around and say "no one will ever believe you" with a knowing twinkle in his eye?

Re: Saw Art yesterday
« Reply #14 on: January 08, 2014, 01:59:28 PM »
I don't beleive this for one second! {fake outrage}
 Art would never shop at Albertson's!

Bell vs Norris?
it will never happen.
There is a celebrity death match clause (section 1 paragraph 9 line 5) in the non-compete. :(
 however, a Richard C Hoagland  match is being considered.  (he isn't a real celebrity). ;D

Re: Saw Art yesterday
« Reply #15 on: January 08, 2014, 02:22:31 PM »
I don't beleive this for one second! {fake outrage}
 Art would never shop at Albertson's!

Bell vs Norris?
it will never happen.
There is a celebrity death match clause (section 1 paragraph 9 line 5) in the non-compete. :(
 however, a Richard C Hoagland  match is being considered.  (he isn't a real celebrity). ;D

Hoagie.... ;D I watched an old "Lost in Space" episode last Saturday where Dr. Smith got his butt kicked in a match fight with an alien.  I can see Dr. Smith being one of Hoagie's childhood heroes.  "Lost in Space" sure is one cornball oldie.

Re: Saw Art yesterday
« Reply #16 on: January 08, 2014, 02:25:39 PM »
And here I was thinking this was going to be a serious thread. This is why we cant have nice things!

Re: Saw Art yesterday
« Reply #17 on: January 08, 2014, 02:33:24 PM »
Art got me pregnant.

Re: Saw Art yesterday
« Reply #18 on: January 08, 2014, 02:46:59 PM »
I once spent a romantic evening in the Philippines with Art. We shared a canoe and watched the sun go down, while feeding each other sardines covered in mustard. The evening got weird when Art started sorting the sardines in groups depending on their size, shape, and texture. When I asked him what he was doing, he told me that I didn't really love him while using a very southern accent. He then jumped head first into the water, and sank like a rock. Legend has it, if you are a lonely fisherman and you are out on the water late at night, start to sing ABBA, and Art will flop into your boat and wink at you.

Re: Saw Art yesterday
« Reply #19 on: January 08, 2014, 04:18:17 PM »
haha!
I love this forum!! ;D

Re: Saw Art yesterday
« Reply #20 on: January 08, 2014, 05:07:23 PM »
Legend has it, if you are a lonely fisherman and you are out on the water late at night, start to sing ABBA, and Art will flop into your boat and wink at you.

haaaahahaha, what an image.  really fucked up.

Re: Saw Art yesterday
« Reply #21 on: January 08, 2014, 05:10:03 PM »
Art got me pregnant.

Line of the week.

Re: Saw Art yesterday
« Reply #22 on: January 08, 2014, 05:13:31 PM »
Line of the week.

had to clean my computer screen when i saw it.

Re: Saw Art yesterday
« Reply #23 on: January 08, 2014, 05:27:43 PM »
Art got me pregnant.

So that's what he's been doing since Dark Matter.  Have any nice "A" names in mind?

Re: Saw Art yesterday
« Reply #24 on: January 08, 2014, 05:39:51 PM »
I once spent a romantic evening in the Philippines with Art. We shared a canoe and watched the sun go down, while feeding each other sardines covered in mustard. The evening got weird when Art started sorting the sardines in groups depending on their size, shape, and texture. When I asked him what he was doing, he told me that I didn't really love him while using a very southern accent. He then jumped head first into the water, and sank like a rock. Legend has it, if you are a lonely fisherman and you are out on the water late at night, start to sing ABBA, and Art will flop into your boat and wink at you.

sounds like old gregg!

Re: Saw Art yesterday
« Reply #25 on: January 08, 2014, 07:37:21 PM »
Art got me pregnant.
+1 to Bateman. Line of the week

Re: Saw Art yesterday
« Reply #26 on: January 08, 2014, 08:26:28 PM »
Art got me pregnant.

Too freakin funny. Deserves a 'Best line of the month', don't ya think??


Re: Saw Art yesterday
« Reply #27 on: January 08, 2014, 09:11:46 PM »
Art got me pregnant.

Haha - it's always so good to hear from you, Foodlion. :) :)

Re: Saw Art yesterday
« Reply #28 on: January 08, 2014, 09:49:30 PM »
Dark Noir:  The Dog Star Mystery, Chapter 1

Art picked me up in a rented Cadillac and we headed for the Copacabana in Vegas where we planned to see Lee Hazelwood and Nancy Sinatra.  The show started a bit late but Lee and Nancy were fantastic, and Art was in an unusually good mood.  About halfway into "Some Velvet Morning" we noticed a couple of shifty-looking characters standing just to the left of the stage looking our way and whispering to one another.  Next, the mustached one pointed at us and it looked as if they were headed our way.  I quickly paid the tab and we quietly slipped out the emergency exit, stepping into a dark alley.  A frightened cat jumped from a garbage can creating a terrible racket as he ran off toward the East.  The Honeymooners blasted from a television in an apartment above the club.  Art noticed a phone booth on the corner and hurried off to make a call while I waited outside.  There was a chill in the night air, it was unusually cold for the desert.  Glancing at my watch I noticed it was was nearly midnight.  I looked up and saw that the Moon was full.  I remembered that Mercury was retrograde, then thought about the number eight I'd placed in my wallet just that morning.  Art emerged from the phone booth, smiled broadly and led me to the Cadillac.  As I got in I noticed a small gift box on the front seat...

Re: Saw Art yesterday
« Reply #29 on: January 08, 2014, 10:05:21 PM »
Art got me pregnant.

That cheating bastard!

Was that before or after he screwed all of us?