The GabCast (A podcast about BellGab)

[jazmunda]

Jazmunda, do you have a link to ashcraft's radio show?

No and not sure I would want it. 

[SciFiAuthor]

Hello, all!

I am glad that most people seemed to enjoy the show last night. GS and IB were great, and I am sure lots of people enjoyed poking fun at my accent. Why do you all find my pronunciation of the word 'router' so bloody amusing?  I feel a bit depressed that people seem to think that I am a nice guy now (I promise you, I am a despicable bastard), so I will have to say something heinous before too long, as that kind of reputation is one I want to to shake off as fast as possible. I think that static may have been due to the fact that I only changed to another internet provider a few days before, and they said that it needed over a week for things to 'adjust' properly, whatever that means. I hope it didn't spoil things too much, as I haven't listened to the show yet. A big 'thank you' should go to MV too for steering us newbies through it all; I hadn't realised what a good job he does with the show until I was a part of it myself, not that I would tell him that!

I hope some of you will have a go yourselves next time. It really is a lot of fun, and I think we all get a kick out of putting a voice to the posts. MV helps to get you used to things, and it all feels like a breeze once you get started, so you should all consider giving it a go. It really helps add to the BellGab experience to hear new people popping up and adding their own spin to things, so I hope you are brave and give it a shot.

I was offended by your blithering display of politeness. It was like listening to the fucking Pope. Take some pride man. You worked hard for your Bellgab reputation and now you've gone and blown it. Next you'll be doing relationship counseling for Sweet Kathy and Falkie and getting right in the middle and comforting them both a bit too much. Then it will get creepy. Then I'll want to be involved. In a bad way.

Seriously, nice job Sredni, good gabcast.

[SredniVashtar]

I was offended by your blithering display of politeness. It was like listening to the fucking Pope. Take some pride man. You worked hard for your Bellgab reputation and now you've gone and blown it. Next you'll be doing relationship counseling for Sweet Kathy and Falkie and getting right in the middle and comforting them both a bit too much. Then it will get creepy. Then I'll want to be involved. In a bad way.

Seriously, nice job Sredni, good gabcast.

Thanks. It was a lot of fun, and I'm glad I did it. I only learned over the course of the last few weeks that a lot of people actually took me seriously, and assumed I was a total prick. I guess it is hard to convey a tone of voice in a post, but I assumed that my abuse (of IB, in particular) was so over the top that nobody could have taken me seriously. I can't even claim it as a US-UK cultural misunderstanding, because even some of my own lot were taken in by the stuff I was saying.

I hope you give it a go yourself before long, because I'd be interested to hear you. I think people need to give themselves a push and step up to the plate for the first few episodes, and then the whole thing gets its own momentum and we all look forward to who comes on the show the next week. I was expecting people to be brutal about me, but they were surprisingly kind, and I think people are reluctant to be mean about those who have the balls to give stuff like this a go.

I think it helps to have two or three ideas jotted down that you want to talk about, and then everyone else brings their own contribution and the whole thing goes along with a swing. It helps that MV chats to you before the show starts, and then when it all goes live you feel that it's the most normal thing in the world.

Good god, I hate being outed as a "nice guy". I feel so naked!

[Yorkshire pud]

Thanks. It was a lot of fun, and I'm glad I did it. I only learned over the course of the last few weeks that a lot of people actually took me seriously, and assumed I was a total prick.

Now now..let's not get too ahead of ourselves.

I guess it is hard to convey a tone of voice in a post, but I assumed that my abuse (of IB, in particular) was so over the top that nobody could have taken me seriously. I can't even claim it as a US-UK cultural misunderstanding, because even some of my own lot were taken in by the stuff I was saying.

I hope you give it a go yourself before long, because I'd be interested to hear you. I think people need to give themselves a push and step up to the plate for the first few episodes, and then the whole thing gets its own momentum and we all look forward to who comes on the show the next week. I was expecting people to be brutal about me, but they were surprisingly kind, and I think people are reluctant to be mean about those who have the balls to give stuff like this a go.

I think it helps to have two or three ideas jotted down that you want to talk about, and then everyone else brings their own contribution and the whole thing goes along with a swing. It helps that MV chats to you before the show starts, and then when it all goes live you feel that it's the most normal thing in the world.

Good god, I hate being outed as a "nice guy". I feel so naked!

Look, we did slides and digital. I don't mind scanning the slides if you prefer, but they're a far better resolution than digital, and you might look more 'wrinkly' than you perhaps expected.

Just saying.

[GravitySucks]

You two should get a room. Seriously. Next to each other. Padded walls and the whole bit.

[SredniVashtar]

Yeah, about that Sredni.  I'm hearing rumors about a connection of "Deflate-Gate" to an incident at the World Cup Tallywhacker Volleyball Tournament.

It is alleged that there was illegal use of Viagra.  The captain (you) of the "Jumpin' Johnsons" has been accused of allegedly administering Viagra to his team mates for effecting a "spiked" ball in such a manner that the ball surface is slightly punctured making the return volley less effective, giving your team the advantage and, subsequently, the win.
Care to comment?

I think you are confusing me with Yorkshire Pud, who was recently named Viagra's "Customer of the Year" for 2015. He celebrated his win with a romantic candlelit dinner with his new love, Dave (actually a life-sized inflatable of Barney the dinosaur, which he stole from a children's playground), only pausing on the way home to his luxury bed-sitting room to purchase a new turkey baster.

Be careful when you mention spiked balls to him. He'll start rummaging around in his attic for those old 8mm "fillums" of his and try to relive old times. It is hard to imagine that, back in the day (around the time of the Suez crisis, when he was a carefree lad of 47), he only had to think of a dachshund, a cheese grater, and a length of rubber hose to become semi-tumescent in less than three hours.

[Yorkshire pud]

I think you are confusing me with Yorkshire Pud, who was recently named Viagra's "Customer of the Year" for 2015.

Erm, you conveniently missed out 2012, 2013, and 2014, and runner up 2011. Some days I have a 'Smurf blue' hue...which some find appealing I'll have you know.

He celebrated his win with a romantic candlelit dinner with his new love, Dave (actually a life-sized inflatable of Barney the dinosaur, which he stole from a children's playground), only pausing on the way home to his luxury bed-sitting room to purchase a new turkey baster.

AGAIN, a little knowledge is a dangerous thing. It was an egg whisk. And Barney wasn't stolen, he was given to me.

Be careful when you mention spiked balls to him. He'll start rummaging around in his attic for those old 8mm "fillums" of his and try to relive old times. It is hard to imagine that, back in the day (around the time of the Suez crisis, when he was a carefree lad of 47), he only had to think of a dachshund, a cheese grater, and a length of rubber hose to become semi-tumescent in less than three hours.

Bedsits don't have attics! Ah haaaaaaa....So thus proving the above statement is a falsehood, designed to make me look bad in the cynical and gullible eyes of the average Bellgabber.

[SredniVashtar]

Bedsits don't have attics! Ah haaaaaaa....So thus proving the above statement is a falsehood, designed to make me look bad in the cynical and gullible eyes of the average Bellgabber.

You have a very nit-picking, legalistic sort of mind, don't you? I don't know if there is a golf club in the country that would have someone like you, but if you played that noble game you'd be the sort of bastard whose extra club was the fucking rule book!

[GravitySucks]

You have a very nit-picking, legalistic sort of mind, don't you? I don't know if there is a golf club in the country that would have someone like you, but if you played that noble game you'd be the sort of bastard whose extra club was the fucking rule book!

He plays with someone else's putter. They overlook the rule book.

[Yorkshire pud]

You have a very nit-picking, legalistic sort of mind, don't you? I don't know if there is a golf club in the country that would have someone like you, but if you played that noble game you'd be the sort of bastard whose extra club was the fucking rule book!

Oh your analogy is closer than you think.... 

However the answer may surprise you.

[SredniVashtar]

Oh your analogy is closer than you think.... 

However the answer may surprise you.

Let me guess, the Yorkshire Pud residence is a bunker at your local 'Pitch n Putt', with a tarpaulin thrown over it when the weather turns nasty? Or your last court appearance involved being caught in a trouserless assignation with the 12th hole at the dead of night?

[GravitySucks]

SV, is this the situation you mentioned?
http://www.dailymail.co.uk/news/article-3296403/Police-arrest-second-teenager-TalkTalk-hacking-probe.html

[SredniVashtar]

SV, is this the situation you mentioned?
http://www.dailymail.co.uk/news/article-3296403/Police-arrest-second-teenager-TalkTalk-hacking-probe.html

Yes, about two days after I signed up they got hacked and the site hasn't been working properly since because there is a criminal investigation on right now.

[GravitySucks]

Here are the hats I alluded to. Especially the one on the left.

[SredniVashtar]

Here are the hats I alluded to. Especially the one on the left.

Someone is listening to themselves on the show! Vanity is a terrible thing. I know because I have heard it a couple of times myself now.

[GravitySucks]

Something is listening to themselves on the show! Vanity is a terrible thing. I know because I have heard it a couple of times myself now.

Oh no, I am enthralled by your transformation. I liken it to the whole plot of "My Fair Lady". I am trying to understand it as the rain falls mainly on my plain.

[Yorkshire pud]

Oh no, I am enthralled by your transformation. I liken it to the whole plot of "My Fair Lady". I am trying to understand it as the rain falls mainly on my plain.

Don't be fooled; SV sounds like Dick Van Dyke from his Mary Poppins era, normally. He had a week of elocution lessons to cultivate his absurd faked educated Home Counties erudition that we had the misfortune to listen to.

[SredniVashtar]

Don't be fooled; SV sounds like Dick Van Dyke from his Mary Poppins era, normally. He had a week of elocution lessons to cultivate his absurd faked educated Home Counties erudition that we had the misfortune to listen to.

My good man, I am not suggesting anything inappropriate is going on, but you have clearly edited out all the other contributors to the show, and have me on loop. You may or may not be typing all your posts one-handed but it would not surprise me!

[Yorkshire pud]

My good man, I am not suggesting anything inappropriate is going on, but you have clearly edited out all the other contributors to the show, and have me on loop. You may or may not be typing all your posts one-handed but it would not surprise me!

Oh, the other hosts were perfectly honest in their presentation. It was only you that didn't come across as you really are.

[3OctaveFart]

I don't know, that Eton diction can't be faked. I am jealous, as a guy who muddles around in a mid-Atlantic accent. I'm sure yours would go over far better in interview settings and singles bars.

[SredniVashtar]

Oh, the other hosts were perfectly honest in their presentation. It was only you that didn't come across as you really are.

I'd rather that than coming across my keyboard, which is probably what you have doing ever since I burst on to the airwaves. Still, I have a spray that will help clean it out.

[Yorkshire pud]

I don't know, that Eton diction can't be faked. I am jealous, as a guy who muddles around in a mid-Atlantic accent. I'm sure yours would go over far better in interview settings and singles bars.

SV's second home. Sadly he leaves them in the solitary way he entered them. Harsh but true.

[SredniVashtar]

SV's second home. Sadly he leaves them in the solitary way he entered them. Harsh but true.

Says the man who has himself plastered all over Dave's Paranormal Dating site. Until you see a picture of YP in his Y-fronts, draped over a chair like Christine Keeler (you will have to google that one, all you Yanks) and sucking his finger, you have not experienced all that life has to offer. By definition, any sort of romantic encounter with this disgusting individual is paranormal, but at least he brings his own custard.

[Yorkshire pud]

Says the man who has himself plastered all over Dave's Paranormal Dating site. Until you see a picture of YP in his Y-fronts, draped over a chair like Christine Keeler (you will have to google that one, all you Yanks) and sucking his finger, you have not experienced all that life has to offer. By definition, any sort of romantic encounter with this disgusting individual is paranormal, but at least he brings his own custard.

I thought I'd reproduce the Lewis Morley photo of Keeler using an old tea chest rather than the Jacobsen chair. It didn't go well. The locals apparently got up a petition. Bastards.

[GravitySucks]

Found your first attempt. You are so right, it doesn't work.

[Yorkshire pud]

Found your first attempt. You are so right, it doesn't work.

Ahhh, that was one of the good ones...ERM. Yeah..

[BobGrau]

Found your first attempt. You are so right, it doesn't work.

That's not a chair, that's his Y-fronts.

[Juan]

draped over a chair like Christine Keeler

Those of us old enough know Christine well

[Yorkshire pud]

That's not a chair, that's his Y-fronts.

High waisted underwear is so under rated...I think so anyway. Here's another example.

[SredniVashtar]

I don't need no Captain America, I am perfectly happy with my Fire Breathing Dragon !!    It might surprise you to learn I went to 1st grade in London when I was 5 yrs. old.

That must have been one hell of a commute! I don't suppose you went home for lunch.