• Welcome to BellGab.com Archive.
 

Dave Schrader

Started by NowhereInTime, March 16, 2013, 06:20:57 PM

goldendeal

Jorch: “Now were these cherub angels, you know, the cute little baby angels"

Dude got sucked back into his body several times on a radio show that sucks.

That's called "poetic justice."

Jorch:  "So what color was this white light?  Was it white?"

Jorch:  "Bruce . . . there are people who won't bulleeb your story.  I think they're called 'scientist unbulleebers.'  What would you like to say here on this show to all the sneering they do at beautiful angels?

This story is a weaker version of stories you hear from certain stoners.  You really need some weed yourself to enjoy it.

I would need a brick of opiated hashish from Marrakech to appreciate . . . perhaps the ceiling over his head.

AvDaBr

"Of all the things which have fallen on you, what was the heaviest?"

Quote from: AvDaBr on March 02, 2015, 02:34:43 AM
"Of all the things which have fallen on you, what was the heaviest?"


LMAO

Man, I was just typing:

"Of all the trucks that have squashed you, Bruce, which one was the greatest?"

Jorch:  "If you could visit with these angels again, what's the most riveting thing you would say to them?"

AvDaBr

Hah.  Thought I'd give you a breather.  ;)

Jorch:  "Bruce . . . what do your plans look like in the future?  Are you going to be crushed by more trucks any time soon?"

goldendeal

Guest " and worse of all I had hemorrhoids"

Great . . . he starts talking about the remaining length of his crushed intestines while I'm fixing a snack.

Thanks, asshole.

Guest:  "I felt my intestines coming back."

Jorch:  "Where were they?  Were they hiding in something like an intestinal portal?  Were they all wrapped up in there?  Jeeze. Unbulleebubble."

"Small intestine, I command you to go back in the name of Jesus."

Yep you heard it here first. 12:54am PST

Quote from: Mind Flayer Monk on March 02, 2015, 02:54:23 AM
"Small intestine, I command you to go back in the name of Jesus."

Yep you heard it here first. 12:54am PST


And I felt my own guts jump for Jesus, brother.

Hallelujah.

Lynyrd Skynyrd was singing the bumper song:


"Oooh, oooh, that smell.  Intestine smell around you."

"Oooh, oooh, that smell.  They smell a lot like doo doo."

Nick el Ass

That fact that he called just before you got high could be a coincidence, but then again a certain person named Dave doesn't believe in that kind of bullshit... either that, or he the caller wanted to partake in a little himself.

136 or 142

The TV show "Homicide: Life on the Street" did an award winning episode about a guy caught between a subway and the railings called "Subway".
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=qhplAN8ie2w&list=PL137C208C9602DC20

PBS later did a program about it:
   
Anatomy of a 'Homicide: Life on the Street'
http://www.imdb.com/title/tt0324999/

This guy's story is nuttin.'

One summer when I was a teenager, I worked in a factory where a guy got his finger sawed off by a metal saw.

He came back about six weeks later, and was showing somebody how it happened and sawed off the same finger on the other hand.

Another guy got crushed by a giant pallet of metal sheets.  When they finally got his dead body out from under them, it was yellow.

I don't know where the angels were that time.  They said, "Fuck off," or something.

goldendeal

Yes hell exists, it’s a Jorch Noory hosted show...


This must be what talk radio shows in Iran are like.

"I was shown hell . . . and then heaven."


Suleman's back.  I haven't heard him in a while. Crazy as ever.

Quote from: 21st Century Man on March 02, 2015, 03:25:53 AM
Suleman's back.  I haven't heard him in a while. Crazy as ever.

Yeah, Dave cut him off in mid-sentence.

Or mid-prophecy, rather.

Coincidence?

I wish Noory would go someplace.  Then at least we'd get a break from his mutterings. Preferably someplace remote like the Sahara Desert or Antarctica.

136 or 142

Quote from: 21st Century Man on March 02, 2015, 03:33:44 AM
I wish Noory would go someplace.  Then at least we'd get a break from his mutterings. Preferably someplace remote like the Sahara Desert or Antarctica.

As a scientific experiment for the purpose of repeatability we should put Noory between a subway and the railings and see if he survives.

Caller who's like the opposite of Wile E. Coyote is speaking.

He was unhurt more than a half-dozen times.

Bruce, the guest, seemed a little miffed by it all.

Oh, not the Ascended Masters bullshit.  Like Ramtha, caller?  What a load of crap.

The general listenership of this show -- judging by the callers -- is so deficit-witted that they could change that to:


"Angels love to eat Carnivora.  If you take Carnivora, they'll love you too!"


And they'd sell ten times as much of the shit.

The guest really knows his New Testament:

"And the twelfth apostle was boiled in water or oil or whatever . . . "

Yeah, maybe it was a creamy lobster bisque, dude.

Powered by SMFPacks Menu Editor Mod