George Noory Sucks! - The Definitive Compendium

[wr250]

"Like a cat nooron that has sat on eaten a hot stove pizza roll, he doesn't even want to sit eat on a cold one."

fixed

[yoego]

Yoego, pulling the late shift, eh?  The first two hours were utterly forgettable, and the second had such potential yet were mostly wasted by typical Noory unpreparedness/mishandling.  Still the guest was interesting enough that some worthwhile details slip through, and a few questions are so dorky that they're entertaining, for all the wrong reasons of course.  Enjoy.   

i'd like to report missing time. 1 minute I was hearing c2c, the next i was on the astral plane. It was like a portal, I was overcome by snorge.

edit/ im sure yer recap can suffice.

[NoMoreNoory]

1776. Welcome to Independence, Gabbers.


Klinger was an excellent guest. Knew his field thoroughly, and thank God he did, because he was the only thing that stood between us and another wreck. What shone out from this latest parade of Noory's inadequacy and incompetence, was his downright ignorance. In all the authors mentioned and discussed - Lovecraft, Stoker, Shelley, Doyle, Poe, Kipling, Dickens et al - Noory was able to offer not one shred of a contribution that suggested he has ever read a word of any one of them. Presumably he at least covered The Raven in school, but you'd never know it. He was probably staring out of the window, dreaming of torturing hamsters.
It had to be pointed out to him that Nosferatu is only a film and not a book. He clearly had no conception his head of the chronological progression from Shelley through Dickens and Poe to Kipling, Wells and Doyle and on to Lovecraft. In eight hours of show prep, you'd think he might at least have Googled a few names and scribbled down a few dates.
When Dickens came into the discussion and Klinger mentioned Inspector Bucket in Bleak House as a progenitor of the police detective, all Noory could do was blurt out 'A Christmas Carol' - clearly the only Dickens title he knows - before sharing with us that he played Fagin in High School and declared that Oliver! was 'a great Broadway play'.
We of course had to suffer his Lugosi impersonation, bizarrely muttering 'I want to bite you' in the background. There was an LP Lovecraft and, as mentioned above, 'Kiplinger' who he told us he had confused with the Kiplinger Newsletter, whatever that may be. When he tried to correct it, it became 'Rudyard Klipling'.
'Did Holmes always have a pipe?' was a favourite explosion from The Idiot as he found another pause enveloping him with not a cue card in sight.
An ignorant, stupid, intellectual pigmy.


-GNS

[expat]

"Do you think people in general are ticked off these days? I just think people are annoyed about things"

Yes, George, starting with your diminishing audience.

[Immy]

1776. Welcome to Independence, Gabbers.


Klinger was an excellent guest. Knew his field thoroughly, and thank God he did, because he was the only thing that stood between us and another wreck. What shone out from this latest parade of Noory's inadequacy and incompetence, was his downright ignorance. In all the authors mentioned and discussed - Lovecraft, Stoker, Shelley, Doyle, Poe, Kipling, Dickens et al - Noory was able to offer not one shred of a contribution that suggested he has ever read a word of any one of them. Presumably he at least covered The Raven in school, but you'd never know it. He was probably staring out of the window, dreaming of torturing hamsters.
It had to be pointed out to him that Nosferatu is only a film and not a book. He clearly had no conception his head of the chronological progression from Shelley through Dickens and Poe to Kipling, Wells and Doyle and on to Lovecraft. In eight hours of show prep, you'd think he might at least have Googled a few names and scribbled down a few dates.
When Dickens came into the discussion and Klinger mentioned Inspector Bucket in Bleak House as a progenitor of the police detective, all Noory could do was blurt out 'A Christmas Carol' - clearly the only Dickens title he knows - before sharing with us that he played Fagin in High School and declared that Oliver! was 'a great Broadway play'.
We of course had to suffer his Lugosi impersonation, bizarrely muttering 'I want to bite you' in the background. There was an LP Lovecraft and, as mentioned above, 'Kiplinger' who he told us he had confused with the Kiplinger Newsletter, whatever that may be. When he tried to correct it, it became 'Rudyard Klipling'.
'Did Holmes always have a pipe?' was a favourite explosion from The Idiot as he found another pause enveloping him with not a cue card in sight.
An ignorant, stupid, intellectual pigmy.


-GNS

Perfect summation of Jorch's lack of involvement last night.

And you know, it wouldn't have even been that difficult to familiarize himself with a few of HPL's works from scratch. Good examples of his short stories are only 20-30 pages. I wonder how he feels when the first caller right out of the gate is praised by Les Klinger for asking a great question like "Are Lovecraft's works in the public domain?" Does Jorch care how uninformed he sounds nightly? To a worldwide audience?? How frustrated must Les have been after Jorch's third version of "Who's the best writer ever?" I think he picked Poe just to get Jorch to stop referring back to that index card.

[yumyumtree]

I'm sorry, Howard who the fuck?

Bloom.  He's a regular.

[ItsOver]

...'Kiplinger' who he told us he had confused with the Kiplinger Newsletter, whatever that may be. When he tried to correct it, it became 'Rudyard Klipling'.
'Did Holmes always have a pipe?' ...

) Thanks for my big laugh of the day.

[yoego]

In honor of the 1776th page of GNS I can't help but think of a better future[attach=1]

[zeebo]

I wonder how he feels when the first caller right out of the gate is praised by Les Klinger for asking a great question like "Are Lovecraft's works in the public domain?"

True, the only good, informed questions came from the callers, most of whom had some first-hand familiarity with actual books.

[zeebo]

When Dickens came into the discussion and Klinger mentioned Inspector Bucket in Bleak House as a progenitor of the police detective, all Noory could do was blurt out 'A Christmas Carol' - clearly the only Dickens title he knows - before sharing with us that he played Fagin in High School and declared that Oliver! was 'a great Broadway play'.

A low point in literary discussion ... but a high point in unintentional comedy.

[Robert Ghostwolf's Ghost]

A low point in literary discussion ... but a high point in unintentional comedy.

More and more, it seems like he's just putting his brain on free association auto pilot. 

Dickens?  "A Christmas Carol!" 

Kipling? "Kiplinger Newsletter!"* 

Area 51?  "I wonder why there aren't any two-digit area codes?" 

Giants?  "Nobody ever played center field better than Willie Mays!"

Ghosts?  "Could they be angels?"

Angels?  "Could they be ghosts?"

Portals?  "I wonder if a portal is like a porthole?  When I was in the Navy, most of the ships had portholes. I wonder if they still do?"

Etc.


*That one was a surprise, because it's a fairly obscure economic and business forecasting publication. The only reason I know about it is because my dad received it for years, and he's the only person I ever knew who did.

[GeorgieForPresident2216]

More and more, it seems like he's just putting his brain on free association auto pilot. 

Dickens?  "A Christmas Carol!" 

Kipling? "Kiplinger Newsletter!"* 

Area 51?  "I wonder why there aren't any two-digit area codes?" 

Giants?  "Nobody ever played center field better than Willie Mays!"

Ghosts?  "Could they be angels?"

Angels?  "Could they be ghosts?"

Portals?  "I wonder if a portal is like a porthole?  When I was in the Navy, most of the ships had portholes. I wonder if they still do?"

Etc.


*That one was a surprise, because it's a fairly obscure economic and business forecasting publication. The only reason I know about it is because my dad received it for years, and he's the only person I ever knew who did.

Sounds like Dementia to me.  I've certainly had some experience dealing with it.

[Major Ed Damien]

"We of course had to suffer his Lugosi impersonation, bizarrely muttering 'I want to bite you' in the background."





Of course, that line is nowhere in the novel nor the movie.  It must be what George used to say to his hamsters.

And he didn't tell us what happened after the little turtle hit the wall and died.

He probably bit its head off for biting him. 

That steaming pizza roll was the first thing to bite George back since he fed male hamsters to females and stomped on ant hills.

I imagine H.P. Lovecraft could have written a short story about an animal-abusing little kid like George:

"The Amphibian Child."

[Major Ed Damien]

*That one was a surprise, because it's a fairly obscure economic and business forecasting publication. The only reason I know about it is because my dad received it for years, and he's the only person I ever knew who did.
[/quote]


The newsletter is advertised on a few radio talk shows.  That's the only way George knew about it.

[Mind Flayer Monk]

When Dickens came into the discussion and Klinger mentioned Inspector Bucket in Bleak House as a progenitor of the police detective,

Don't forget Mr. George, the progenitor of every Scooby Doo episode.

[Major Ed Damien]

"Do you think people in general are ticked off these days? I just think people are annoyed about things"

It's largely your fault, George.

Too many of them are eating Texas Super Foods and Carnivora.

The Carnivora is turning them into cannibals, and the Texas Super Foods will eventually make them moo and stampede like cattle.

At least aliens can soon mutilate them for Linda Molding Howe to freak out over.

Or is it "moo-tilate" them?"

[paladin1991]

It's largely your fault, George.

Too many of them are eating Texas Super Foods and Carnivora.

The Carnivora is turning them into cannibals, and the Texas Super Foods will eventually make them moo and stampede like cattle.

At least aliens can soon mutilate them for Linda Molding Howe to freak out over.

Or is it "moo-tilate" them?"

Well it certainly isn't titillate.

[Major Ed Damien]

Well it certainly isn't titillate.

Paladin, that was udderly called for.

[albrecht]

*That one was a surprise, because it's a fairly obscure economic and business forecasting publication. The only reason I know about it is because my dad received it for years, and he's the only person I ever knew who did.

Kiplinger's is relatively famous, at least in media and business circles. Been around a long time and also featured in Wash Post etc.
But, you are right, Norry probably only knew of it due to commercials on AM radio.

The segment about Dickens was awful. The guest was a little amazed, I think, at Norry. What is amusing is that by trying prove how informed he is (bringing up another Dickens novel) he ends up looking more stupid (because he likely thinks the story includes some Disney ducks.)
-GNS

[GeorgieForPresident2216]

Well it certainly isn't titillate.

anal-coreillate?

[GeorgieForPresident2216]

...

The segment about Dickens was awful. The guest was a little amazed, I think, at Norry. What is amusing is that by trying prove how informed he is (bringing up another Dickens novel) he ends up looking more stupid (because he likely thinks the story includes some Disney ducks.)
-GNS

You've got that right.  Noory is always so eager to demonstrate he knows everything going on that all he does is betray his ignorance.  He'd do much better just to focus on the guest.

[albrecht]

You've got that right.  Noory is always so eager to demonstrate he knows everything going on that all he does is betray his ignorance.  He'd do much better just to focus on the guest.

Yep, and as mentioned before but worth repeating the question to the cop: where Norry asks

"What percentage of police don't want to shoot you?  I would imagine that's a high number."

In a way I sometimes wish the shows were on a webcam or Facetime just to see the facial reactions, spit-takes, and eye-rolls of guests to inane questions and comments from Norry.
-GNS

[Major Ed Damien]

"(I)nternationally recognized teacher Joel Richardson will discuss his latest work researching which biblical prophecies of the Last Days are being fulfilled on the earth today and what is coming next."

Damn, MY prayers have been answered.

The Shi'ite Baptist truckers and assorted other holy rolling kooks invariably call the show even when the "Last Days" ISN'T the topic.

Talk about a godsend. 

Friends and neighbors, we're in for a good ol' fashioned, end-of-the-world praise-fest.  Let's just hope the world doesn't get a revival.

Pass me my Bible, honey, and the hot buttered popcorn.  I sure don't want to get left behind with all the Jews.

[albrecht]

Pass me my Bible, honey, and the hot buttered popcorn.  I sure don't want to get left behind with all the Jews.

Actually these days this "end times" rightwing evangelicals are very pro-Israel and even admire/defend the Papacy. It took modern Islam, and Obama, get the Protestants liking Catholics who are both supporting Jews. Centuries of mistrust, doctrinal differences, schisms, and even fighting solved in a few short years. It is a weird world.

[WOTR]

More and more, it seems like he's just putting his brain on free association auto pilot. 

Dickens?  "A Christmas Carol!"  ...

So you are saying we are fortunate that George did not ask how Hawkeye and Col. Potter were doing or perhaps reminise about going through Ohio and stopping at Tony Packo's for a dog with extra sauce?

[Major Ed Damien]

Actually these days this "end times" rightwing evangelicals are very pro-Israel and even admire/defend the Papacy. It took modern Islam, and Obama, get the Protestants liking Catholics who are both supporting Jews. Centuries of mistrust, doctrinal differences, schisms, and even fighting solved in a few short years. It is a weird world.

Oh, Christian fundamentalists have always loudly liked the state of Israel because it prominently figures into their story of the end of the world.

But the Jews themselves get to be doomed in the Christian fundamentalist world-view -- at least as announced by a couple of their most popular theologians.

For example, after President Bailey Smith, president of the Southern Baptist Convention told a Dallas meeting that "God Almighty does not hear the prayer of a Jew," the Reverend Jerry Falwell bellowed a similar statement:

"I do not believe that God answers the prayer of any unredeemed Gentile or Jew."

So Israel = good; 

Jews = bad and hell-bound

[zeebo]

More and more, it seems like he's just putting his brain on free association auto pilot. 

Dickens?  "A Christmas Carol!" 

Kipling? "Kiplinger Newsletter!"* 
...

Or recently on a Halloween-themed show, when the guest mentioned some local horror-movie host with the tongue-in-cheek name "Gore Dival", Noory blurts out, irrelevantly, "I met Gore Vidal once!  He was just really nice!  And one heck of a writer!"

[zeebo]

...The segment about Dickens was awful. The guest was a little amazed, I think, at Norry. ..

I think Mr. Klinger gets this week's award for most diplomatic attempt to save an interview. 

Btw I just checked out his site and noticed he's also got an annotated edition of Neil Gaiman's excellent Sandman series.  Another wasted opportunity last nite, I'd have loved to hear him discuss it.

[Major Ed Damien]

I think Mr. Klinger gets this week's award for most diplomatic attempt to save an interview. 

Klinger did a great job!  He took dimwitted lead-balloon questions and managed to spin them into Swiss Gold!

Anybody trying to pass George Noory off as a book enthusiast, though, might as well be trying to pass the Ebola virus off as a vitamin supplement.

[pyewacket]

Well it certainly isn't titillate.

It's a mammary procedure.