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George Noory Sucks! - The Definitive Compendium

Started by MV/Liberace!, April 06, 2008, 01:23:02 AM

Can Noory pronounce anything correctly?

No
No
Quote from: Georgie For President 2216 on November 22, 2014, 01:37:47 PM
He mentioned Casey again last night after being questioned by Tommy.  He said he gave Casey to a lady who had lost her dog because living in a kennel was no life for a dog.

And belonging to an owner who only wants you so he can sound legit when he does dog food commercials is no life for one either.


I wonder if Casey was named after Casey Kasem.

It's odd how they both suffered isolation and mistreatment, isn't it?

Well, like George always says, "There are no coincidences."


auggie

                               I didn't listen last night. Ii went back into the archives to hear a replay from 09 with the 'Major" Ed Dames featuring over a half dozen of his horribly failed predictions for the then near future. It was great and he remains a featured guest crank on C2C.

wr250

Quote from: auggie on November 22, 2014, 03:23:42 PM
                               I didn't listen last night. Ii went back into the archives to hear a replay from 09 with the 'Major" Ed Dames featuring over a half dozen of his horribly failed predictions for the then near future. It was great and he remains a featured guest crank on C2C.
dames predicted in 97(?) that he would not be on coast again ...

Quote from: wr250 on November 22, 2014, 03:26:12 PM
dames predicted in 97(?) that he would not be on coast again ...


Did Ed ever predict there'd be a year when he got a lot of dames?

wr250

Quote from: Major Ed Damien on November 22, 2014, 03:35:27 PM

Did Ed ever predict there'd be a year when he got a lot of dames?


well he is pretty full of himself, so yes he gets alot of dames (himself)

auggie

                                       By the time the show was over the snoron had Dames' ass so covered with sucker bites it was beyond recognition. He even referred to Dames as ' the cream of the crop '.

Nick el Ass

Quote from: Georgie For President 2216 on November 22, 2014, 02:00:35 AM
Back in the days it was active, the people on fantastic forums were convinced George hates cats.  I remain unconvinced either way.  He used to have a tendency to laugh after hearing stories about bad things happening to cats but I attribute that to poor comprehension.


I have a feeling he hates animals, and the real reason Casey the dog is in another home is because the dog was telling George to hurt people like the whole Son of Sam deal all over again... or it was possibly possessed by Casey Anthony.

In last night's interview with the biologist from Duke University, I liked how George kept bringing the conversation back to himself and his own pets.

This allowed our guest/scientist to re-direct her professional curiosity to a previously unstudied species of mustached mammal:

Boobus Nooriificus.

Nick el Ass

Quote from: Major Ed Damien on November 22, 2014, 04:39:25 PM
In last night's interview with the biologist from Duke University, I liked how George kept bringing the conversation back to himself and his own pets.

This allowed our guest/scientist to re-direct her professional curiosity to a previously unstudied species of mustached mammal:

Boobus Nooriificus.


That thing over his lip he calls a stache does look like a dead caterpillar. Maybe he killed it as a kid, and saved it so he could glue it back on later in life.

Juan Cena

Quote from: wr250 on November 22, 2014, 03:36:38 PM

well he is pretty full of himself, so yes he gets alot of dames (himself)


Isn't MED on like his third trophy wife from the former USSR?

Juan Cena

Quote from: NoMoreNoory on November 22, 2014, 01:32:49 AM
Is it just me or does anyone else think of this every time dip shit confesses to involvement in an animal related incident?


Probably more like Elmira from Tiny Toons.



My biggest concern about the show is that George might get suddenly replaced.

Absolutely no substitute host could supply this much rich material for laughs.

I don't know how it could happen, though.  He seems physically, if not mentally, healthy.

An inattentive trucker on the phone -- suffocating himself with ass-kisses for George -- could plow into a line of stopped cars and kill half a dozen innocent folks.  Could George stay on the air after that awful tragedy?  I would certainly hope so.

Unless he's some kind of Bill Cosby-level rape artist -- serving pills in alcohol to women and then patiently waiting for them to be safely and completely unconscious before humping the hell out of them like a frantic bear in the woods about to be shot to death by hunters, his toupee flying off in the process the way that little turtle did from his finger -- I just don't see George being in any serious danger of getting canned. 

But, still, I worry that all this comedy might not last.

Can anybody reassure me on this, while he's off in Colorado playing the fool on his ersatz TV channel, that this dim-witted reject from carnival barker college isn't going off the air any time soon?





Quote from: Major Ed Damien on November 22, 2014, 07:32:44 PM
My biggest concern about the show is that George might get suddenly replaced.

Absolutely no substitute host could supply this much rich material for laughs.

I don't know how it could happen, though.  He seems physically, if not mentally, healthy.

An inattentive trucker on the phone -- suffocating himself with ass-kisses for George -- could plow into a line of stopped cars and kill half a dozen innocent folks.  Could George stay on the air after that awful tragedy?  I would certainly hope so.

Unless he's some kind of Bill Cosby-level rape artist -- serving pills in alcohol to women and then patiently waiting for them to be safely and completely unconscious before humping the hell out of them like a frantic bear in the woods about to be shot to death by hunters, his toupee flying off in the process the way that little turtle did from his finger -- I just don't see George being in any serious danger of getting canned. 

But, still, I worry that all this comedy might not last.

Can anybody reassure me on this, while he's off in Colorado playing the fool on his ersatz TV channel, that this dim-witted reject from carnival barker college isn't going off the air any time soon?

He has an unprecedented contract in radio and will still be broadcasting 'when humans land on Mars.' 

My gosh when this is all said and done Ill be 90!
-Gnoory

http://bellgab.com/index.php/topic,3.msg135350.html#msg135350

Quote from: Georgie For President 2216 on November 22, 2014, 08:04:34 PM
He has an unprecedented contract in radio and will still be broadcasting 'when humans land on Mars.' 

My gosh when this is all said and done Ill be 90!
-Gnoory

http://bellgab.com/index.php/topic,3.msg135350.html#msg135350



Right.

But I'm sure Bill Cosby had a fat contract with NBC for the new show before they suddenly dropped his ancient sex-offending ass.

We simply don't know what goes on in the life of this weirdly and hilariously off-putting character named George Noory. 

Anybody attention-starved enough to augment his successful (emphasis on the "suck") career with serial croonings of "I Can't Help Falling in Love with You" -- like some Elvis Presley reincarnated but cosmically and surgically ruined by aliens with no cattle to occupy them -- has got an LAX full of psychological baggage.  Anybody who sounds titillated by the news of injured or killed children or who enjoys recalling what he did to small animals as a child himself needs to be monitored carefully.

I'm asking the members here to conjecture -- imagine -- what could go wrong here in the no-wit's career.  And don't hold back.  The stranger the imagined flame-out, the likelier it could be. 

For example, who knew Rush Limbaugh was a dope addict, using his housekeeper to buy "enough Oxycontin to stun an elephant (an ample metaphor)" with cigar-boxes full of cash? 

Who knew Dennis Wilson of the Beach Boys was a close friend of Charlie Manson? 

Who knew J. Edgar Hoover was really "J. Edna Hoover"? 

Who knew Bill Cosby was really the Barry Bonds of rape -- hitting his home runs every season before unconscious audiences of one?

George is one odd motherfucker!  Something could go catastrophically off-track!  I hope not -- for the sake of his unintentionally-hilarious show.  "Mystery Science Theater" is an infomercial for magical mops compared to "Coast-to-Coast AM."

I don't think George has ever had much 'goin' on' but I'll leave it to conjecture.


zeebo

Quote from: Paper*Boy on November 22, 2014, 12:13:00 PM
There's at least one squished squirrel

I've notified the proper squirrel authorities.


UFQuack

The squirrel with the binoculars has stolen Jorch's nuts.


wr250

the lifetime network, making gnoory look good.


auggie

                                    Being a Coast Insider I don't understand why you people bitch about each nights program. I f you don't like it, listen to past ones. I listen to Art, Ian, George Knapp, all of the old the old ones. If  todays sucks, listen to yesterdays. The snoron at least makes it possible to listen to Art from years ago. The snoron knows where his roots are from.


Being from the TV generation I like my reruns broadcast live, which is what George does every night.

If George ever leaves, then I leave.

Plain and simpleton.

WOTR

Quote from: Major Ed Damien on November 22, 2014, 09:05:37 PM
George is one odd motherfucker!  Something could go catastrophically off-track!  I hope not -- for the sake of his unintentionally-hilarious show.  "Mystery Science Theater" is an infomercial for magical mops compared to "Coast-to-Coast AM."
I would love to play along.  However, every one of the people that you mentioned were highly intelligent and most had some people skills.  Jorch has neither and it is hard to even imagine how he could have fooled so many people for so long.  By now, he would have slipped up at least once and it would be obvious that he was only "play acting" at being clueless...

Quote from: narcissist noory on November 23, 2014, 07:29:39 PM
who's bitching?


You're exactly right.

There are a lot of hilarious things George can do that you never hear on other radio programs.


Take, for example, the other night when George asked the biologist from Duke University how she got interested in animals­­­‪­‪­­­­­‪­‪‪­­‪‪‪‪­­‪­­‪‪­‪‪­‪­­­­‪‪‪‪­­‪­­­‪­‪‪­.



This articulate scientist replied at length that when she was a child she had many pets and then proceeded to identify some of them.



Not too long after that answer, George -- using his patented abiotically oily and creepy delivery system -- asked the woman:



"So did you ever have any pets as a child?"



George also spent way too much of the biologist's segment talking about his own pets and other relations with animals, including the ant hills he would often destroy as a child and a turtle he had accidentally flung against a wall to its death.



I was missing part of the show from laughing.  Thankfully, KFI's stream out of Los Angeles repeats the show as soon as it ends.



Now, I don't know what the esteemed scientist thought about George's terrific lack of attention.  It certainly didn't show her a lot of respect -- which is something George always claims he wants to give to everyone.  But I don't care about any of that.  I'm just glad it happened, for my own entertainment purposes.


You see, listening to George Noory is a lot like getting to visit the drunk, crazy, now nearly senile uncle your parents tried to keep you away from when you were growing up.  There was something wrong with his mind.



Tonight, you're going to visit Uncle George, and nobody can stop you now.

Quote from: wotr1 on November 23, 2014, 08:19:25 PM
I would love to play along.  However, every one of the people that you mentioned were highly intelligent and most had some people skills.  Jorch has neither and it is hard to even imagine how he could have fooled so many people for so long.  By now, he would have slipped up at least once and it would be obvious that he was only "play acting" at being clueless...

when u start with the fact that we're dealing with a full blown sociopath, the things he does will start to make more sense
hell  he could even be a master troll

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