George Noory Sucks! - The Definitive Compendium

[Nick el Ass]

Tonight is a great double dip of banking & witchcraft. No wonder Noory is losing both his mind... & his affiliates. Not listening.

[aldousburbank]

Jorch's complex about wanting to be on tv is due to subliminal conditioning. I have been very perplexed why Lionel Fanthorpe will drop whatever he is doing to bail George out of trouble - even if it means being late to the dentist. I did some research and found out a shocking secret: Lionel Fanthorpe is George Noory's real father! I kid you not. Here is what happened:

In the 1950's Lionel is working on the wards of His Majesty's Home for Congenital Imbeciles as a hospital chaplain. He impregnates an inmate. In a desperate bid to save his marriage and his career as an Anglican priest, he smuggles the infant out of Britain and into the United States. He names the baby George, to honor George VI, but this will leave lasting scars on the child because he will begin to adopt the king's speech impediment as he grows. Infant George is placed with an average middle-class family in Detroit - but Lionel is always hovering in the background. It is he who provides growing George with all those paperbacks about the unexplained by Frank Edwards, John Macklin etc., to prepare George for his future career. However, I have yet to uncover how Lionel was able to come up with a copy of CHARIOTS OF THE GODS before it was written.

At Yuletide Fanthorpe pulls out all the stops. He records himself reading: A VISIT FROM SAINT NICOLAS and George's "parents" force him to listen to the tape every Christmas Eve. This is why he plays it on that date each year. Lionel claims that he has never heard it, but that's a ruse to lead people away from the truth. It is Lionel who sends those two bicycles to Detroit and arranges to have them stored at a neighbor's home. The many different Santas that caused so much confusion for the boy, were, in actual fact, all one person! Lionel incognito, shadowing George to make sure he was all right.

Because George is being prepped for fame and fortune, Fanthorpe makes a special tape for George to listen to every day. To the casual listener it merely sounds like a tape of 50's crooners and Doo-wop music. Actually it is filled with subliminal messages assuring George that he will one day be as famous as Jack Benny, Jimmy Durante and Red Skelton, and will have his own tv show just like them. This is why George is fixated on, and tortured by the fact that these guys are no longer popular. In his subliminally-abused mind, if they are not popular, then he will not someday get his own tv show. Giam tv is not what he was promised. Lionel arranges with his lodge brothers in the US - he has admitted to being a freemason on the air - to boost George up each step of the career ladder until he reaches the top. When George becomes host of C2C, the truth about his real father is revealed to him. He comes to count on dear old dad - as so many sons and daughters do - to bail him out of trouble.

I know this sounds crazy, but is there a better explanation for how a seemingly borderline retarded guy who can't read news copy correctly to save his soul, goes on to become the youngest ever news director of a station in a major market, and win three local Emmy awards for news?

Wrong!
The subliminal tapes fixate George on being as famous as Desi Arnez. Look at the data!

[eyenoeyeno]

Whew! I thought it was just me. I seem to have an attention disorder when I listen to this show. They could do so much more for the Halloween show. Why not ask the audience if there is a haunted place in their area- what is the legend of the haunting and is it active today? Could we start a thread on Bellgab? Would anyone be interested?

My downstairs neighbors recently summoned some bullshit into my apartment while playing with their ouija board.   At least I assume it was them because of the timing.  And I don't even really believe in that shit.  I guess what I'm saying is I don't know if it's true or not, but I might believe in that shit.

[zeebo]

Tonight is a great double dip of banking money witchcraft & witchcraft. ...

fixed

[NoMoreNoory]

Tonight is a great double dip of banking & witchcraft. No wonder Noory is losing both his mind... & his affiliates. Not listening.

Not a banker talking about witchcraft? Or a witch talking about banking?

[aldousburbank]

Let's see, it's late, I'm still awake, and I guess george's sucky little show is on the air. Should I tune in, or should i just I just hit myself upside head with big stick?

[SnapT]

He just played the Howard Beale speech from NETWORK again.

And then the guest said Howard Beale is an idiot and things are just peachy compared to a hundred years ago.  And George responded with a deathly silence.

He ended the segment with something like "I think we all can agree, of course, that people are UPTIGHT these days.  They are indeed very UPTIGHT... as well."

[aldousburbank]

So yeah, I'll go get a stick. Buenas noches!

[Juan Cena]

It's funny how Snorge plays the gloom and doom card with the Network snippet, then Howard Bloom starts out painting a rosier picture of the world.

Luckily for Snorge, Bloom ended with some paranoia about ISIS and Iran, so his bubble wasn't completely busted.

[aldousburbank]

Not a banker talking about witchcraft? Or a witch talking about banking?

Which is on first?

[NoMoreNoory]

Which is on first?

No, no. Everyone knows Who's on first.

[Nick el Ass]

Not a banker talking about witchcraft? Or a witch talking about banking?

99.9 percent of the guests on C2C are unqualified for the topics they discuss already... so it wouldn't surprise me one bit. I'm going to laugh my ass off the day George mixes up his guests, but sure as hell won't be listening.

[GeorgieForPresident2216]

Is it just me, or did Craig Smith's voice just get a lot higher?

[GeorgieForPresident2216]

I guess it was just me.  CKNW seems to have started running an older program after the first hour break.

[nextgen.fm]

Wow

George's Potter impersonation from It's a wonderful life

[SnapT]

That was the worst Mr. Potter impression I've ever heard.

Noory isn't fit to lick Jon Lovitz's feet.

http://insidethegate.com/gatehouse/2013/12/video-of-the-week-december-21-2013/

[zeebo]

Craig Smith is ok but he's plugged his new book like 12 times so far.  Give it a rest dude.

[Juan Cena]

Craig Smith is ok but he's plugged his new book like 12 times so far.  Give it a rest dude.

Pimpin' ain't easy.

[Nick el Ass]

Pimpin' ain't easy.

[Juan Cena]

"Are you a witch"

"Do you go to witch parties?"

This interview has already crashed and burned.

[Immy]

"It's a Wonderful Life" is apparently Jorch's favorite film. We know that because he quoted "Lyle" Barrymore. 

[bateman]

"Are you a witch"

"Do you go to witch parties?"

This interview has already crashed and burned.

Please tell me there's audio of this. We desperately need another George Noory Rambling compilation.

[Étouffée]

Judika sounds like a nice witch.

[Immy]

OK, got out of bed to write this. I think I've figured out something about our Jorchie.

This is about the fifth or sixth different witch he's had on this year, and every interview it's the same basic, Witchcraft 101 questions. "Witch parties??" Are you kidding me?? Here's a woman who's written an encyclodedia on the topic and she's been genuinely taken aback by Jorch's 2nd grade level questions. She actually perked up at a caller's knowledgable question about Salem.

I think he sincerely believes witches are kooky, misguided women that he begrudgingly tolerates for the show. If he gave them any credence, he'd have latched on to some of their lore over the years and be able to formulate a half-decent question based on replies he's gotten in the past. Of all the topics he deals with, witches receive the tiniest bit of his limited intellect. It's the only reason for his chauventistic condescension.

[PB the Deplorable]

... She actually perked up at a caller's knowledgable question...

First time guests must be stunned at his suckiness.

It never seems to occur to them to listen to a show before agreeing to come on with him

... he'd have latched on to some of their lore over the years and be able to formulate a half-decent question based on replies he's gotten in the past...

The last thing anyone should listen to is a show with a guest or topic they are particularly interested in

[washere]

About ninety percent of the shows in recent months are utter shit. Are George and Tom on regular large doses of L.A. cocaine 24/7 & lost what remained of their defectiVe minds?

Someone does a proper paranormal show like old Art did & they'll make a killiNg in these modern times.

[136 or 142]

I guess it was just me.  CKNW seems to have started running an older program after the first hour break.

Yes, my guess (and this is just a guess) is that CKNW is going to cancel Coast and is only paying to air repeats.

[pyewacket]

OK, got out of bed to write this. I think I've figured out something about our Jorchie.

This is about the fifth or sixth different witch he's had on this year, and every interview it's the same basic, Witchcraft 101 questions. "Witch parties??" Are you kidding me?? Here's a woman who's written an encyclodedia on the topic and she's been genuinely taken aback by Jorch's 2nd grade level questions. She actually perked up at a caller's knowledgable question about Salem.

I think he sincerely believes witches are kooky, misguided women that he begrudgingly tolerates for the show. If he gave them any credence, he'd have latched on to some of their lore over the years and be able to formulate a half-decent question based on replies he's gotten in the past. Of all the topics he deals with, witches receive the tiniest bit of his limited intellect. It's the only reason for his chauventistic condescension.

^^^^ THIS!!!

I have Judika's E of W and it is a well researched book full of historical accounts, time lines, lore, cultural sources- too much to list. She was articulate and knew her subject well. She gave thoughtful answers despite the condescension and rude man talking over her and interrupting her.

George only seemed to like Evelyn. I think she portrayed witches/witchcraft in a way that fit into George's comfort zone- Judika did not. That's the impression I got from the show. It would have been much better if she was interviewed by someone other than George. He tends to personalize these "interviews" way too much.  :

[albrecht]

First time guests must be stunned at his suckiness.

It never seems to occur to them to listen to a show before agreeing to come on with him


The last thing anyone should listen to is a show with a guest or topic they are particularly interested in

It is always funny when, somehow (bad agents and publicists I suspect,) a legitimate person with credentials gets on the show. They sound stunned by George's questions and gobsmacked when the callers get into the mix. I imagine they are on their phone texting their agent "wtf have you gotten me into." The older ones almost seem amazed, and saddened, like they have just discovered that the country is in such shambles of mis-education and strange beliefs.
-GNS

[SnapT]

So cringeworthy when George kept repeating "You're in love with ME?" to the poor witch. 

And did anybody notice when the witch said she's not part of a coven and likes to be alone and solitary, George let out an "UGH" noise like he had just heard a baby was eaten by a giant bird?