George Noory Sucks! - The Definitive Compendium

[GeorgieForPresident2216]

I love it when George feeds this astronomer(?) -- (I think he might just be a science writer) all the wacked out 'theories' that C2C constantly flogs as canon and he doesn't know wtf George is talking about.  It just shows how far separated this program is from anything resembling facts and truth.

[Morgus]

Is this the same "underwater rock formation" that a more intellectually honest host and guest dismissed not more than half a month ago on a Sunday edition of a Coast show?  The one where the guest said he looked closely, contacted scientists, found historical mentions by something like the US geological survey (or other body) and that it is just a natural formation.

Please tell me they are one in the same...

yep thats the same area.
Noory doesn't listen to the weekend shows so its all new to him.
Of course Jimmy Church has been reporting on it every week on his Fade To Black show for months...

[Mind Flayer Monk]

Some wacko callers tonight. I wonder where these people are in everyday life. I never meet anyone that believes in this stuff.

[wr250]

yep thats the same area.
Noory doesn't listen to the weekend shows so its all new to him.
Of course Jimmy Church has been reporting on it every week on his Fade To Black show for months...

and reported it to be some 2000 ft under the surface. in fact (according to navy and NOAA depth maps) the top of it is 45-50 meters (~150')  under the surface.

[onan]

and reported it to be some 2000 ft under the surface. in fact (according to navy and NOAA depth maps) the top of it is 45-50 meters (~150')  under the surface.

Ahh!! It's an elevator.

[Marc.Knight]

I was imagining the other day that there must be a religious cult somewhere that worships the eternal suckage of said George Noory.  In this imaginary realm, the "Church" of Noory is replete with stained-glass windows depicting his many sucking adventures and stories, as well as the best sucking quotes, such as "asteroids have brains" and "Bigfoot may well be an extraterrestrial, because - remember Chewbacca?”.  An upside-down, gothic portrait of Art Bell adorns a dank side wall.

Shadow rodents scurry between the pews as the congregation begins to dutifully chant from a music book written by UFO Phil.  Suddenly, a huge, cheap, plastic-like bust of George begins to creak and unsteadily lower from the ceiling. The bust begins to rapid-fire burning-hot pizza rolls from his putrid mouth hole at the dazed Congregants.  People are screaming with elation as they get splattered with steaming pizza juice and pizza parts  - and all the while a mechanized laugh of George Noory reaches a maniacal crescendo as it echos irretrievably beyond the confines of the Church of Suckage......

[expat]

David Darling (not verbatim): "Somebody sent me e-mail about the Black Knight satellite a few days ago. I knew nothing about it, had to google it to find out about it."

[Discussion about the numerous astronomers who have died mysteriously. Darling didn't know about that either. Surely the story was about microbiologists, anyway? THEN...]

GN: "What about the Black Knight satellite?"

[Beyond Bleef]

Yes, unfortunately,Steve  Quayle's name came up too. I so don't want this to become branded a nut issue, but am afraid it will be. Maybe they could use part of the billion to pay Jones and Quayle to stay away.

George probably has this Walter Mitty fantasy of being called to testify before Congress about fortifying the grid.  He's grilled for hours by the disbelieving members of Congress.  All the major networks suspend their regular programming to cover George's three-day testimony.  No matter what the disbelieving members throw at him, George has the facts.  Finally, in a Mr. Smith Goes to Washington moment, Congress agrees and tearfully thanks George for bringing them to their senses.  They approve the  funding and name the new bill after George.  The day after the work is completed on the grid, the sun unleashes a CME 100 times greater than the Carrington event.  Thanks to George, the US of A is safe.  No one's power goes out.  Ticker tape parades are held in George's honor in New York, Chicago, Los Angeles and other cities across America.  His image replaces George Washington on the dollar bill.

[wr250]

George probably has this Walter Mitty fantasy of being called to testify before Congress about fortifying the grid.  He's grilled for hours by the disbelieving members of Congress.  All the major networks suspend their regular programming to cover George's three-day testimony.  No matter what the disbelieving members throw at him, George has the facts.  Finally, in a Mr. Smith Goes to Washington moment, Congress agrees and tearfully thanks George for bringing them to their senses.  They approve the  funding and name the new bill after George.  The day after the work is completed on the grid, the sun unleashes a CME 100 times greater than the Carrington event.  Thanks to George, the US of A is safe.  No one's power goes out.  Ticker tape parades are held in George's honor in New York, Chicago, Los Angeles and other cities across America.  His image replaces George Washington on the dollar bill.

and he gets to drive around, yet again
[attach=1]

[ItsOver]

ah man I just listened to the show from i think the 18th? or 19th whatever... it was a friday and boy was jorch on fire!!  I'm sure it was mentioned here but HOOOOOOLEEEEEE shyat!  How about that "jorch saw tommy's brother's ghost" story?

I had the train wreck on in the background as I was fiddling around with something.  Jorch was doing his usual mumbling around.  I'd forgotten about Jorch bloviating about seeing seeing Tommy's brother's ghost.  Of course, my first thought was Bravo Sierra and then I put it out of mind.  I'm getting better at subconsciously ignoring anything Noory says.  Jorch, the white noise of radio.

[ItsOver]

Ahh!! It's an elevator.

... to Jorch's secret underwater cave, somewhere deep below the Pacific...or off the coast of the Pacific or kind of near the Pacific.  It has a tunnel to his Magnum B.S. studio in Hawaii.

[HorrorRetro]

I was imagining the other day that there must be a religious cult somewhere that worships the eternal suckage of said George Noory.  In this imaginary realm, the "Church" of Noory is replete with stained-glass windows depicting his many sucking adventures and stories, as well as the best sucking quotes, such as "asteroids have brains" and "Bigfoot may well be an extraterrestrial, because - remember Chewbacca?”.  An upside-down, gothic portrait of Art Bell adorns a dank side wall.

Shadow rodents scurry between the pews as the congregation begins to dutifully chant from a music book written by UFO Phil.  Suddenly, a huge, cheap, plastic-like bust of George begins to creak and unsteadily lower from the ceiling. The bust begins to rapid-fire burning-hot pizza rolls from his putrid mouth hole at the dazed Congregants.  People are screaming with elation as they get splattered with steaming pizza juice and pizza parts  - and all the while a mechanized laugh of George Noory reaches a maniacal crescendo as it echos irretrievably beyond the confines of the Church of Suckage......

That's some terrifying imagery right there. I think it can be adapted to a Devil's Rain remake.


The Devil's Rain (trailer) 1975

[ItsOver]

I was imagining the other day that there must be a religious cult somewhere that worships the eternal suckage of said George Noory.  In this imaginary realm, the "Church" of Noory is replete with stained-glass windows depicting his many sucking adventures and stories, as well as the best sucking quotes, such as "asteroids have brains" and "Bigfoot may well be an extraterrestrial, because - remember Chewbacca?”.  An upside-down, gothic portrait of Art Bell adorns a dank side wall.

Shadow rodents scurry between the pews as the congregation begins to dutifully chant from a music book written by UFO Phil.  Suddenly, a huge, cheap, plastic-like bust of George begins to creak and unsteadily lower from the ceiling. The bust begins to rapid-fire burning-hot pizza rolls from his putrid mouth hole at the dazed Congregants.  People are screaming with elation as they get splattered with steaming pizza juice and pizza parts  - and all the while a mechanized laugh of George Noory reaches a maniacal crescendo as it echos irretrievably beyond the confines of the Church of Suckage......

Disturbing but brilliant.

Nooronics at The Jorch Church of Suckage

[zeebo]

I think Tommy chooses the music. He seems to be a romantically desperate man ...

Can't believe ItsOver didn't post the infamous George / Tommette pic.   

[ItsOver]

Can't believe ItsOver didn't post the infamous George / Tommette pic.   

) "Welcome to Jeopardy!  This pic is worse than listening to a Dinovite commercial."

[ShayP]

That's some terrifying imagery right there. I think it can be adapted to a Devil's Rain remake.


The Devil's Rain (trailer) 1975

Wow.     That takes me back.  I saw that film in a drive-in when I was young.  That movie opened for another called Dark Star (John Carpenter).

[zeebo]

) "Welcome to Jeopardy!  This pic is worse than listening to a Dinovite commercial."

Last nite, after drifting off for a change before midnite, I had restless half-dream of voices outside my window, and when I awakened startled I realized it was the friggin Dinovite dingbats blasting thru my neighbor's radio.  True story.

[ItsOver]

Last nite, after drifting off for a change before midnite, I had restless half-dream of voices outside my window, and when I awakened startled I realized it was the friggin Dinovite dingbats blasting thru my neighbor's radio.  True story.

Nothing like waking to "stinking, oozing canines."  You woke-up to a nightmare, Zeebo. 

[PB the Deplorable]

... Jorch bloviating about seeing seeing Tommy's brother's ghost...

This sounds more asinine than usual, what was the story?

[ItsOver]

This sounds more asinine than usual, what was the story?

I wasn't paying much attention, P*B.  My conditioned response to Jorch.  Tommy and Jorch were doing a boring exchange and I just remember Jorch making-up another stupid claim about seeing Tommy's brother's ghost.  I doubt Tommy even beeleeved it.  Maybe Ziznak remembers more.

[GeorgieForPresident2216]

This sounds more asinine than usual, what was the story?

...ahem... cough cough... How are you?.. cough ahem.. How arrr yeewww?... okay her I go...

George:  I saw.. well let me tell you something.. I saw it was something.. and I'm going to bring this up if it's okay.  I need your permission.  Because it.   Has to do with a personal thing with, a family member.

Tommy:  I know what you're going to say.  You can.

George:  Uhm, years ago when you were in...  We... we've got a set up here in Los Angeles where Tom is in his own sound proof booth where he answers the calls, puts them on hold, he can send me messages.  Things like that.  And then I... I'm in the studio with our engineer and operations director Dan Gallante.  We're in there.  And we're going to be that way when the new one's finished too.  The new one is the old one being remodelled.  Haven't touched it in thirteen years so you know we're getting brand new state of the art equipment and everything else.  The stuff that Marconi gave me, we're not going to use anymore. 

But Tom was in his little sound proof room, and this was several years ago, and I could swear behind him, and I described what the boy looked like, was Tom's brother who died of cancer...

[Tom's comments ommited]

...and I was pretty right in that description wasn't I? 

Tommy:  [agrees]

George:  And I've never seen pictures or anything like that.  Uh, so that.. that was a weird one.  That's probably the closest I've come to something like that.

I didn't really omit much... no actual description but I still felt a little uneasy about posting Tommy's comments about his brother.  I figure George just saw a reflection of Tom in the glass.

[WOTR]

yep thats the same area.
Noory doesn't listen to the weekend shows so its all new to him.
Of course Jimmy Church has been reporting on it every week on his Fade To Black show for months...

Thanks... It is good to see that George is still on the cutting edge.

I was imagining the other day that there must be a religious cult somewhere that worships the eternal suckage of said George Noory.

I believe that I have seen this church.  The steeple has a clock that always says "11:11."

[GeorgieForPresident2216]

Mike Bara calling himself an engineer is travesty and an insult to the profession.  He's about as much an engineer as Dick Hoagland is a scientist.  Even a graduate of a university program can't call himself an engineer until he's spent several years working under a professional, and from what I can tell Bara has no B.Eng. degree.  He certainly doesn't show any sign of having trained as one.

[NoMoreNoory]

Mike Bara. Pray for Ex Pat's radio.....

[yumyumtree]

Now I understand why a lot of people don't like Mike Bara. What nauseating fawning.

[Dateline]

Want to chuckle like Noory?  Google Rational Wiki, Mike Bara, and enjoy the background info.

[zeebo]

Now I understand why a lot of people don't like Mike Bara. What nauseating fawning.

He also is guilty of slight overstatements, such as this one a few minutes in ... "I could literally talk about these things forever."

[WOTR]

Want to chuckle like Noory?  Google Rational Wiki, Mike Bara, and enjoy the background info.

That was fun.  I had to google images of him after reading that to see what a complete jackass looks like.  (Not my image.)

[Scully]

...ahem... cough cough... How are you?.. cough ahem.. How arrr yeewww?... okay her I go...

George:  I saw.. well let me tell you something.. I saw it was something.. and I'm going to bring this up if it's okay.  I need your permission.  Because it.   Has to do with a personal thing with, a family member.

Tommy:  I know what you're going to say.  You can.

George:  Uhm, years ago when you were in...  We... we've got a set up here in Los Angeles where Tom is in his own sound proof booth where he answers the calls, puts them on hold, he can send me messages.  Things like that.  And then I... I'm in the studio with our engineer and operations director Dan Gallante.  We're in there.  And we're going to be that way when the new one's finished too.  The new one is the old one being remodelled.  Haven't touched it in thirteen years so you know we're getting brand new state of the art equipment and everything else.  The stuff that Marconi gave me, we're not going to use anymore. 

But Tom was in his little sound proof room, and this was several years ago, and I could swear behind him, and I described what the boy looked like, was Tom's brother who died of cancer...

[Tom's comments ommited]

...and I was pretty right in that description wasn't I? 

Tommy:  [agrees]

George:  And I've never seen pictures or anything like that.  Uh, so that.. that was a weird one.  That's probably the closest I've come to something like that.

I didn't really omit much... no actual description but I still felt a little uneasy about posting Tommy's comments about his brother.  I figure George just saw a reflection of Tom in the glass.

Thanks for this recall, GFP.  I heard the incident, and pricked up my ears because I love a good ghost sighting.  Unfortunately when Jorch digressed into another of his "new studio" moments, my brain went into momentary sleep mode.

Rebounding quickly, though, I came to in time to hear what seemed to me Tommy's extreme reluctance to verify that George came close to identifying the "ghost."  I had the impression that all he was corroborating was that George saw "something."

Tag another one up for for Noory's stories that just don't quite cut the mustard.  :

[George Drooly]

I wonder if George takes Tommy home with him when he visits dear old Mom?