George Noory Sucks! - The Definitive Compendium

[paladin1991]

This guy Xavient us an absolute mistake of a guest. He talks like an underdeveloped 14-year-old, very awkward and not well spoken at all. And Gary keeps throwing to him to try to get him in the conversation. What a train wreck. Now he brings up Tupac... Just go back to your couch please.

Tupac?  Maybe I should have stuck it out last night and listened in.  I've always wondered if the 'Toxic Shock Syndrome' was a gov't test run for some really evil shit.  Anybody got anything on this Tupac-Toxic Shock conspiracy?

[CornyCrow]

Noory is part of a package deal, and that is the only reason he has the number of affiliates that he has... and A caller recently brought up the fact that Art was responsible for most of the hard work getting the show to where it is to which Noory simply replied "That was a long time ago."

Yes.  George is no longer mentioning Art in the ending credits.  Let's hope that's because Art may be starting with Cumulous in a competition with George.  Premier really hurt the show, as well, because from what I read they were the ones who 'encouraged' all the right wing political brainwashing.  Art's show was unbiased, and if a guest became obvious that he was slipping a political agenda in, he would be stopped. 

[PB the Deplorable]

... According to the net, he makes about $500k and his net worth is 2 million.  You would think, with that salary, he'd have saved more, but maybe those figures are not accurate...

That may be accurate. 

He probably started out at a lower salary and worked up to the $500k, then factor in Federal and California State income taxes taking 40-50%

[Nick el Ass]

Mass Delusions are a good way of describing what is going on with those who still think Noory is doing a good job. All 10 of them.

[BattyBrooke]

We need to translate the entire GNS thread the other way, text-to-speech, and beam it out to space.  Just to freak out the aliens.

Finest idea yet!

[BattyBrooke]

Noory is on the daytime newsradio show I listen to, right now, talking about his book Someone is Hiding Something. How is he even awake at this hour?

[ShatteredGlassDome]

I tried to find a silver lining in the the shows they "have" posted for next week. I can't, I just can't.
I quite literally am shocked at how bad they are getting.

Noory's not on the air friday i'd call that a silver lining. 

[Jorch Einstein]

I haven't listened to most of the show, thank goodness, because I'm sure I would have been mentally slapping George many times!  He really, really doesn't seem to have any control of his tongue at all.

Tell me again how it is that he gets paid half a mil to be a radio host on what used to be the best radio show on the air. 

You forgot, when Jorch was on this thread a few years ago, he stated he was born with someone else's deformed tongue. It must be hard for him to keep control of someone else's deformed tongue in his mouth. The other person must control Jorch's deformed tongue with psychic powers. Maybe that explains why Jorch blurts out so many asinine comments. The other person who controls his tongue, using psychic powers, is a mean person. Maybe a mean baby. And he makes Jorch blurt out stupid things.

[Nick el Ass]

Noory is on the daytime newsradio show I listen to, right now, talking about his book Someone is Hiding Something. How is he even awake at this hour?

He didn't exert much energy last night, or ever... so he probably just needs a few hours.

[Jorch Einstein]

Tommy gave Jorch cue cards to use for whenever Jorch finally gets lucky and gets to lay Linda Moulton Howe.

For foreplay: "Something is happening here."

For when Linda gets undressed: "Could it be a portal?"

For penetration: "Unbeleeeeeeeeevable!"

For when Linda states in a monotone "Jorch...you're...setting...my...cow...udders...on...fire." Jorch: "Yes, that's true too."

For the point of orgasm: "This is beyond bleeeeef! And by the way Linda, check out my TV show beyond bleeeef too, it's like a bunch of netflix."

One can only hope that Linda, in her erotic ecstasy, doesn't reach for Jorch's hair and receive a nasty bite from the black rat on top of his head.

[GeorgieForPresident2216]

That may be accurate. 

He probably started out at a lower salary and worked up to the $500k, then factor in Federal and California State income taxes taking 40-50%

The ex-wives might take a chunk too.

[GeorgieForPresident2216]

We are finally in the Year of Our Snoorge 2015

2015 pages of suck... surely that's a record of some kind. Jorchy deserves a trophy.

We should stop the thread right here and hope, by the powers of the wireless internet, that 2015 will be the end of suck.

[Major Ed Damien]

 
In the first half, Zac Bissonnette, a personal wig specialist, talks about crowd manipulation using wigs, bad wig delusions, and wig crazes throughout history, including novelty Beatle wigs. Followed by Open Lines.

[basswood]

So I'm watching some old X-Files episodes and came across this in "The List" (S3:E5). Tell me that does not look like Dave's maggot-infested head in a bucket... Coinshudunce?

[attachimg=1]

[HorrorReporter]

So I'm watching some old X-Files episodes and came across this in "The List" (S3:E5). Tell me that does not look like Dave's maggot-infested head in a bucket... Coinshudunce?

[attachimg=1]

My God...
Maybe one of the writers heard the Nighthawk then

[Ms. C]

I just found this on the 'People who Love Art Bell' Facebook page ...

perhaps it has already been posted on here ... tried to do a search and couldn't find ... so maybe it is an original for BellGab

[Dateline]

Hot off of Facebook:  Art is going to entitle his new show "Midnight In The Desert."

To compete, Norry has changed Coast to be named "Pokey In The Rathole."

[Ms. C]

I just found this on Facebook ...

perhaps it has already been posted on here ... tried to do a search and couldn't find ... so maybe it is an original for BellGab
very funny!!!!

url=http://u7radio.org/hereyougo/borgus-noory.mp3   

[yumyumtree]

This poor woman called in to say that she's unable to read any of these books since they're not available to the visually impaired. Jorch mumbles "Yeah, I know how you feel."

How do you know how it feels, Jorch? How? How could you possibly know this, you freaking fartcake. Go to hell.

Then I think he suggested she email about it or something, and she explained that that wasn't really feasible either.  How embarrassing.

I don't know the name of this first guest, but I am really sick of this crap. Lars Larsen interviewed a guy who had written a book about (mostly presidential) assassinations and attempts and not once did the subject of Kennedy conspiracy theories come up.

Here are my thoughts about JFK Jr: (Disclaimer: I did not know him personally, these are just my best guesses)

1. Despite Democrat fantasies, I don't think he really wanted to be in politics or government.  Remember how much trouble the poor kid had passing the bar in NY?
2.  He wanted to be an actor, but his mother nixed it.
3.  He probably wanted to marry Daryl Hannah, but his mother nixed it.
4.  In typical Kennedy daredevil fashion, he did not do a pre-flight check on that last flight.  My guess is that he may have had some other bad habits as a pilot.
5.  His wife and sister-in-law also died in the crash.  I think it's possible he and wife Carolyn were quarreling.  I think the marriage may have been on the rocks.
6.  Just because he was haunted by his father's death doesn't mean he believed any of the conspiracy theories. When a person loses a parent at an early age like that, especially in a violent fashion, it is natural to be haunted by it, especially as one approaches the age the parent was when he or she died.

[albrecht]

Then I think he suggested she email about it or something, and she explained that that wasn't really feasible either.  How embarrassing.

I don't know the name of this first guest, but I am really sick of this crap. Lars Larsen interviewed a guy who had written a book about (mostly presidential) assassinations and attempts and not once did the subject of Kennedy conspiracy theories come up.

Here are my thoughts about JFK Jr: (Disclaimer: I did not know him personally, these are just my best guesses)

1. Despite Democrat fantasies, I don't think he really wanted to be in politics or government.  Remember how much trouble the poor kid had passing the bar in NY?
2.  He wanted to be an actor, but his mother nixed it.
3.  He probably wanted to marry Daryl Hannah, but his mother nixed it.
4.  In typical Kennedy daredevil fashion, he did not do a pre-flight check on that last flight.  My guess is that he may have had some other bad habits as a pilot.
5.  His wife and sister-in-law also died in the crash.  I think it's possible he and wife Carolyn were quarreling.  I think the marriage may have been on the rocks.
6.  Just because he was haunted by his father's death doesn't mean he believed any of the conspiracy theories. When a person loses a parent at an early age like that, especially in a violent fashion, it is natural to be haunted by it, especially as one approaches the age the parent was when he or she died.

It is a common theme with Norry to not listen to callers and even demean them. I recall several times fairly recently when a caller asked about how to contact a guest and explicitly said "I don't have a computer" and he proceeds to tell them to check out the C2C website for information! Likewise blind callers asked questions and he would say things like "check the website" or just "go to Amazon for the book" despite the caller saying "I'm blind." I've noticed with women callers NOrry seems to be more nasty and condescending also (where as Art would almost hit on them sometimes. Hahaha.)
-GNS

[Major Ed Damien]

An interesting scientific phenomenon about Jorch is the way laughing at his wig never grows old.

Why is that?  All kinds of jokes have a shelf life.  Yelling or writing "Not" at the end of a sentence certainly doesn't work the way it once did -- if it ever did.  I never really understood that one, to tell you the truth.  And, please, don't try to explain it.  I'm impervious to its hilarity, and just stooopit, I imagine.

And unless we've all been transported back to the 1950's, men dressing up as women just doesn't leave anyone gasping for air anymore, comedy-wise.

But there's something about a man with something else's hair on his head that never ceases to amuse.

Perhaps it's the sheer prominence of the fraud.  After all, it's right there on the head for all to point at and see -- followed by an instant need to suppress a giggle from behind the back of the hand.

Suppression may be the key to the wig riddle.  We're all back in the classroom.  Something funny happened.  Johnny farted again.  But we mustn't laugh.

So we always will laugh.  A man's wig is a fart on a head.  That's my theory, anyway.

I dunno, though.  I'm open to other explanations of the timeless, wall-to-wall funniness of male rugs in general and Jorch's, in particular.  Maybe I didn't hit it on the head.

[karios8]

but what happened to Jorchie boys mustache?

That's Jorchy's perspective as he is diving in Tommy's wormhole.

[NoMoreNoory]

Did Jorch just say "Abbey Rose" in earnest?

That's it. Fuck this. I'm done for the night.

This one had me gasping when I heard it on record this morning. As usual, no awareness, or correction, of his mistake. Doubly odd, too, because he had jumped on the guest's suggestion that The Beatles could have used the 'Paul is dead' rumours as a late marketing ploy, suggesting they did it as a joke and that their songs were littered with references to it, most of which we never got. Joorch said something like 'Yes, I would say "Go and listen to the lyrics of Number 4, that's full of it"'. I was so puzzled by this, my first reaction was he was confusing Revolution No 9 on the White Album, but then realised he meant track 4 (Oh! Darling, by the way). Not Come Together or Maxwell's Silver Hammer or whatever, just 'Number 4'. Weird on weird.

This and the rest of the Presley nonsense kept reminding me of Lennon's comment in the Playboy interview published posthumously in January 1981 that, for him, Elvis died on the day he joined the army.

We also had 'Well, you know, it's the old saying: the best of times, the worst of times', the second time I've heard him trot that out without so much as a mention of A Tale Of Two Cities.

[bound4bristol]

I dunno, though.  I'm open to other explanations of the timeless, wall-to-wall funniness of male rugs in general and Jorch's, in particular.  Maybe I didn't hit it on the head.

MAYBE IT'S BECAUSE MR NOORY'S WIG IS IN FACT QUITE WELL DONE AND LOOKS COMPLETELY NATURAL!  "NOT"

[Major Ed Damien]

This and the rest of the Presley nonsense kept reminding me of Lennon's comment in the Playboy interview published posthumously in January 1981 that, for him, Elvis died on the day he joined the army.

I believe Elvis was drafted by the military and, therefore, didn't have any choice in the matter.

[NoMoreNoory]

I believe Elvis was drafted by the military and, therefore, didn't have any choice in the matter.

Yes.
Lennon escaped National Service in the UK himself by the skin of his teeth with the announcement in 1957, the year in which he would have been called up, that it would be phased out entirely from 1960 and that, in the meantime, boys born in 1940 and later would not be eligible. Lennon claimed later that he planned to use his Irish roots to scarper to the Republic to avoid it.

[BattyBrooke]

Look, what's important here is Elvis was hot. Kapeesh?

[bateman]

Look, what's important here is Elvis was hot. Kapeesh?

Not after one too many of these bad boys

http://www.foodnetwork.com/recipes/nigella-lawson/elvis-presleys-fried-peanut-butter-and-banana-sandwich-recipe.html

[NoMoreNoory]

Welcome to the future, rat-eaters.....

[TheMan WhoFell ToEarth]

Not after one too many of these bad boys

http://www.foodnetwork.com/recipes/nigella-lawson/elvis-presleys-fried-peanut-butter-and-banana-sandwich-recipe.html

The fool's gold sandwiches are what really did him in.

http://www.food.com/recipe/elviss-fools-gold-loaf-sandwich-365717