George Noory Sucks! - The Definitive Compendium

[paladin1991]

That portal under George's mustache sure does make me laugh my ass off.

Portal?  I thought that was the New and Improved Auto-Spew, fm Taintco.

[Rico999]

".....Airplanes have been grounded from landing at Lambert St. Louis airport...."  (Great ad lib George!  Made perfect sense!)

"....I'm kinda on pins and needles, too, Loren, about my daughter who's not answering her cellphone she's right in the middle of the sh-sh-sh Shaw area here in St, Louis...." (He wanted to say she's in the middle of the SHIT)

"...a little earthquake shook the Dallas-Fort Worth area north of Texas....a lot of people say it could be the potential of the area's oil and gas fracking industry which might be generating this seismic activity..."  (George, did YOU write that copy??)

".....talking about oil things are plummeting..." 

That whole "news" segment was off the hook comic.  I wonder how many takes it took George to file a story when he was in the TV news bidness?  And they made him an "editor."  The Peter Principle at work, folks...

[ComeBackArt]

That whole "news" segment was off the hook comic.  I wonder how many takes it took George to file a story when he was in the TV news bidness?  And they made him an "editor."  The Peter Principle at work, folks...

Yeah, news last night was an epic fail. I didn't make it through much of the first guest either. UFOs always pique my interest, but there's too much ancient aliens $#!T these days that's completely bonkers. And, for good measure, let's bring religion into it. Total suck. Not upset it put me to sleep.

[Major Ed Damien]

George:  "I'm sure when Michael Brown woke up that morning he had no idea he would be dead."

George, you goddamned dumbass.

I'm also sure that if the Numbers Lady or James von Fraud had appeared in one of his fucking dreams then things could have worked out differently.

"Michael, this is James von Fraud . . . stay in bed today.  I see interactions between you and a man wearing a uniform.  I see a gun. Then I see Swiss cheese.  Lotsa lotsa holes.  It doesn't look good for you."

"Michael, this is the Numbers Lady, one of George Noory's favorite guests.  I see some bad numbers for you.  Bad, bad, bad.  Let's just say you're not going to win the lottery today.  In fact, I ran your birthday through my numerology program and it kept coming back goose eggs.  Maybe your number's up.  Don't forget to buy my book."

[albrecht]

What is so amazing that it is "beyoond bleef" is how disinterested Norry is in the guests and subjects.  Listening to last night's show about autism and telepathy was amazingly frustrating. Any interesting bits or subjects were quickly cut off with a stupid, basic question or cut to break to come back on another subject or stupid question. And, "of course" we got the usual "how/why do you do what you do" question.
-GNS

[Major Ed Damien]

".....Airplanes have been grounded from landing at Lambert St. Louis airport...."  (Great ad lib George!  Made perfect sense!)

I wonder if the airplanes have been taking off for flying today.

Or if the grounded from landing planes have finally been cleared for ungrounding and taking off for flying in the altitude of the sky.

"Have a great trip, and thanks for flying Nooron Airlines.  We get you there on time by the clock on your arm."

[Major Ed Damien]

I always enjoy the crude vernacular in a lot of George's pertinent questions addressed to medical professionals or scientists.

Last night, for example, he asked the psychiatrist who was trying to talk about autistic children:

"Do you ever get somebody so whacked-out that you just have to give up . . . they're just too whacked-out?"

I wish she could have given him a decent answer like:

"Yep, that's right, George.  We just give up on the ones as nutty as squirrel shit. 

"Some of 'em are crazier than shit-eating mongooses. 

"They're scrambled, Jack -- like a methed-up monkey trying to fuck a football. 

"When that happens we just stick 'em in a Chinese tuxedo and pray to Jesus they can't ever get loose.  Sometimes the Bible makes them even loonier, though, so we have to be careful with the whacked-out Jesus jumpers and goofy holy rollers.

"Shit goddammit, some of these nuts are cracked."

[zeebo]

".....Airplanes have been grounded from landing at Lambert St. Louis airport...."  (Great ad lib George!  Made perfect sense!)

Haha this one is just perfect, thanks for posting.  lol

[PB the Deplorable]

".....Airplanes have been grounded from landing at Lambert St. Louis airport...

Last time George was discussing aeronautics, he informed us that birds don't fly at night.

[zeebo]

Last time George was discussing aeronautics, he informed us that birds don't fly at night.

Damn I knew it, those geese I hear fly overhead at night are friggin drone geese!

[albrecht]

Last time George was discussing aeronautics, he informed us that birds don't fly at night.

But isn't he the self-proclaimed "night hawk?"

[Major Ed Damien]

What is so amazing that it is "beyoond bleef" is how disinterested Norry is in the guests and subjects.  Listening to last night's show about autism and telepathy was amazingly frustrating. Any interesting bits or subjects were quickly cut off with a stupid, basic question or cut to break to come back on another subject or stupid question. And, "of course" we got the usual "how/why do you do what you do" question.
-GNS

I have heard George sounding a little listless lately.  A little down in his psychic dumps. 

Without tooting our own horns . . .  ah, what the hell, let's go ahead and toot the horn on George's clown car.

See, he's egotistical enough to check this page every day, hoping to find even one semi-intelligent defender -- like the "nice" ones on the phones each night who kiss his ass until they nearly suffer concussions -- but it isn't happening.  It isn't going to happen.

Meanwhile, you "Coast-to-Coast AM" listeners at "George Noory Sucks -- The Definitive Compendium" have been posting some funny as hell stuff . . . really first-rate comedy.

It's not amusing at all, though, to George, the object of all the daily satire.  Here it's a nightmare circus for the clown-fearing clown -- a wild carnival of laughing pointers doubled-over and nearly losing their corn dogs and funnel cakes from the non-stop observational hilarity.

And there's no escape portal for him. 

But I want to thank you, George, for blocking my emails after encouraging them on the air every night.  I don't think I would have otherwise found this page nor -- er, Noory -- the auxiliary entertainment provided by you fine folks posting here during the show each night.

So here's to many more laughs.  He's got an H.P. Lovecraft scholar on tonight so Christmas is coming a little early. 

George wouldn't know Lovecraft from an Anunnaki alien craft.  He probably questioned Tommy carefully to make sure this wasn't "some kinda 'Heinz 57 Shades of Gray' type materials."

[WOTR]

What is so amazing that it is "beyoond bleef" is how disinterested Norry is in the guests and subjects.  Listening to last night's show about autism and telepathy was amazingly frustrating.

I have to ask if you are serious.  Was last night's show really to do with autism?  If they linked autism with telepathy I can tell you that I am about as telepathic as I am empathetic.

[albrecht]

I have to ask if you are serious.  Was last night's show really to do with autism?  If they linked autism with telepathy I can tell you that I am about as telepathic as I am empathetic.

I did not kid:
"In the latter half, Dr. Diane Hennacy Powell talked about her recent work researching potential telepathic abilities displayed by autistic children. She explained that her research originated with the hypothesis that, since one of the symptoms of autism is severely delayed language skills, the motivation to communicate would be so strong in an autistic child that they would tap into an innate psychic ability."
-GNS

[WOTR]

Thanks... I was thinking I might listen.  I just do not think I want to waste my time.  The idea is interesting, but listening to Jorch interview anybody just is not on my list of things to do this evening.  Instead, I think I will try to finish a wall in a bathroom reno.

[Major Ed Damien]

I did not kid:
"In the latter half, Dr. Diane Hennacy Powell talked about her recent work researching potential telepathic abilities displayed by autistic children. She explained that her research originated with the hypothesis that, since one of the symptoms of autism is severely delayed language skills, the motivation to communicate would be so strong in an autistic child that they would tap into an innate psychic ability."
-GNS

Did she say that there are autistic savants who have never heard Mozart in their lives but can play Mozart perfectly?

I thought I heard her say that, but I was emptying the dishwasher, and couldn't be certain.  It just seemed too crazy. 

But I can't imagine what else she was saying if it involved savants, Mozart and telepathy.

And George did say, "Unbelievable" after whatever she said about these autistic musicians.

[paladin1991]

Did she say that there are autistic savants who have never heard Mozart in their lives but can play Mozart perfectly?

I thought I heard her say that, but I was emptying the dishwasher, and couldn't be certain.  It just seemed too crazy. 

But I can't imagine what else she was saying if it involved savants, Mozart and telepathy.

And George did say, "Unbelievable" after whatever she said about these autistic musicians.

What?  Are you new to The World of Snooron?  Too crazy?

[Nebraska888]

Noory has seemed more "disengaged" than usual these past few programs (end of last week and last night).......it's NOT GOOD.....it's never good, but it is worse than ever!   

[Major Ed Damien]

What?  Are you new to The World of Snooron?  Too crazy?

Well, with the guest being an authentic medical doctor and all, I guess I couldn't imagine her venturing out of mere ESP experiments and camping her kooky ass square in the middle of James von Fraud, "We speak to dead people" territory -- but I stand dejected.

[albrecht]

Did she say that there are autistic savants who have never heard Mozart in their lives but can play Mozart perfectly?

I thought I heard her say that, but I was emptying the dishwasher, and couldn't be certain.  It just seemed too crazy. 

But I can't imagine what else she was saying if it involved savants, Mozart and telepathy.

And George did say, "Unbelievable" after whatever she said about these autistic musicians.

Idiot Savants are really an amazing thing. Documented cases and maybe will help us learn about the brain. Even more interesting, to me, are those people who have suffered a stroke or other traumatic brain injury and gain some new ability, start talking with a foreign accent, etc.
http://www.sciencechannel.com/video-topics/brain-intelligence/ingenious-minds-derek-amato.htm
http://abcnews.go.com/Health/teenager-credits-musical-talent-head-injury/story?id=20980180
C2C should do a show on these phenomena. Unfortunately, a host needs to have a brain to have a decent show about it.
-GNS
ps: the guest mentioned, but explained very poorly, the experiment about feeling (or not feeling) limbs (a way to "trick" your brain into feeling, or not, a touch to your arm.) Actually a very interesting experiment and possibly useful for those people (soldiers, farm workers, etc) who have "phantom limb" syndrome.

[PB the Deplorable]

But isn't he the self-proclaimed "night hawk?"

Indeed he is.

In fact his lesson on birds flying at night is from a caller asking about that very thing.  George said 'Thuh Nighthawk' nickname is from the airplane.  He expressed puzzlement that so many people have told him they thought he meant a bird.

[NoMoreNoory]

George Noory and HP Lovecraft. I might well have put this combination together in my dreams. I eagerly anticipate the possibility of the Nooron attempting to wrap the someone deformed tongue around Cthulhu, Yog Sothoth, R'lyeh and Abdul Alhazred, the author of the Necronomicon.
It would be altogether too much to hope that he'd have a crack at
'Ph'nglui mglw'nafh Cthulhu R'lyeh wgah'nagl fhtagn' (In his house at R'lyeh, dead Cthulhu waits dreaming.'). Then again, Joorch finds normal English such an alien language, he might be fluent in HP's eldritch tongue.
Stand by for this one!

[GeorgieForPresident2216]

George Noory and HP Lovecraft. I might well have put this combination together in my dreams. I eagerly anticipate the possibility of the Nooron attempting to wrap the someone deformed tongue around Cthulhu, Yog Sothoth, R'lyeh and Abdul Alhazred, the author of the Necronomicon.
It would be altogether too much to hope that he'd have a crack at
'Ph'nglui mglw'nafh Cthulhu R'lyeh wgah'nagl fhtagn' (In his house at R'lyeh, dead Cthulhu waits dreaming.'). Then again, Joorch finds normal English such an alien language, he might be fluent in HP's eldritch tongue.
Stand by for this one!

No problem for George. His guest is "one of the foremost experts on Sherlock Holmes and Dracula."  Not really a surprise since you don't hear those two names together all that often.

"What got you into this?"
"What is your favourite thing about Dracula?"
"Do you think Dracula was a psychic vampire or a real vampire?"
"Why are people fascinated with vampires?"
etc.

Also, he'll be all aglow after his first hour talking to Jesse Ventura about running for President and everything that's 'goin' on' in Ferguson.

[Major Ed Damien]

No problem for George. His guest is "one of the foremost experts on Sherlock Holmes and Dracula."  Not really a surprise since you don't hear those two names together all that often.

"What got you into this?"
"What is your favourite thing about Dracula?"
"Do you think Dracula was a psychic vampire or a real vampire?"
"Why are people fascinated with vampires?"
etc.

Also, he'll be all aglow after his first hour talking to Jesse Ventura about running for President and everything that's 'goin' on' in Ferguson.

I wonder if Jesse was listening to the recent show where the SEAL guest called him a coward while George remained cowardly silent and didn't lift a tongue to defend his "dear" friend.

I don't look for George to bring it up.

[GeorgieForPresident2216]

I wonder if Jesse was listening to the recent show where the SEAL guest called him a coward while George remained cowardly silent and didn't lift a tongue to defend his "dear" friend.

I don't look for George to bring it up.

I heard you all talking about that but missed it myself.  What was he saying.. that Ventura was cowardly for suing the widow of that other SEAL?

[Major Ed Damien]

No problem for George. His guest is "one of the foremost experts on Sherlock Holmes and Dracula."  Not really a surprise since you don't hear those two names together all that often.

"What got you into this?"
"What is your favourite thing about Dracula?"
"Do you think Dracula was a psychic vampire or a real vampire?"
"Why are people fascinated with vampires?"
etc.

"Did Sherlock Holmes and Dracula ever have a big-time confrontation with each other?"

"This Lovecraft -- was he into arts and crafts?  He sounds kinda . . . artsy."

"Did Sherlock Holmes and Dr. Watson like to go out for a late-night bite to eat like me and Tommy?  Tommy is over there grinning . . . he's thinkin' about a cheeseburger.  I tell ya.  He can suck them down like a vampire."

"What's your passion?"

[Major Ed Damien]

I heard you all talking about that but missed it myself.  What was he saying.. that Ventura was cowardly for suing the widow of that other SEAL?

Ventura didn't sue the widow.  He ended up suing the SEAL's estate in the defamation case, and it appears that an insurance policy the book publisher has covered the money damages found by the jury. 

Of course, none of that placated the SEAL who trashed Jesse Ventura on the air for being a coward and not being in combat during Vietnam.  Jesse never got closer to that particular disaster than the Philippines.  The SEAL claimed plenty of other SEALS won't speak to Jesse, and that they have, in effect, rejected him as a SEAL.  It all sounded like a middle school snit between adolescent girls at a dance in the gym, to tell you the truth.

[GeorgieForPresident2216]

Ventura didn't sue the widow.  He ended up suing the SEAL's estate in the defamation case, and it appears that an insurance policy the book publisher has covered the money damages found by the jury. 

Of course, none of that placated the SEAL who trashed Jesse Ventura on the air for being a coward and not being in combat during Vietnam.  Jesse never got closer to that particular disaster than the Philippines.  The SEAL claimed plenty of other SEALS won't speak to Jesse, and that they have, in effect, disowned him.  It all sounded like a middle school snit between adolescent girls at a dance in the gym, to tell you the truth.

Ignoring the insurance policy for a second, isn't suing his estate the same as suing the widow?  Doesn't she stand to inherit his estate?

[NoMoreNoory]

Idiot declares Lovecraft is the greatest ever horror writer. I wonder if he's ever heard of a little-known author by the name of Edgar Allan Poe?

[Major Ed Damien]

Ignoring the insurance policy for a second, isn't suing his estate the same as suing the widow?  Doesn't she stand to inherit his estate?

According to Ventura, in his earlier appearance on George's show, the insurance policy held by the man's publisher covered the judgment so her portion of his estate was not affected in the least.

In fact, I believe he said she stood to make even more money from the book's sales due to the free publicity surrounding his issue with the dead SEAL.