Jesus spoke of feeding the poor.....He fed his followers. He lived off the kindness of others who offered their food and home, among other very "socialist" ideals. No, Jesus would not be a capitalist. Nope. Should someone read John B. Un-Wells the words of Jesus from the New Testament? Half these right wing wackos don't read the Bible. All for show.
I don't know what Gospel you're reading, but there are clear pro-Capitalist statements from Jesus.
I won't bore you with the shitty King James translation. Let's go right to the original Latin which Jesus Rex himself spoke, shall we?:
Veniat dilectus meus in hortum suum,
et comedat fructum pomorum suorum.
Veni in hortum meum, soror mea, sponsa;
messui myrrham meam cum aromatibus meis;
comedi favum cum melle meo;
bibi vinum meum cum lacte meo;
comedite, amici, et bibite,
et inebriamini, carissimi. - Gospel of Matthew, 19:5
Of course, if you read the English translation it will come off sounding like Jesus is advocating tree-murder, but in the Latin it clearly makes a profound argument for free markets and this is why Adam Smith used the passage to preface the Latin edition of
Das Kapital. Whether you agree with Capitalism or not as an economic system, it is clear that the Jesus was an ardent Capitalist and there is utterly
zero contradiction between his pataphysics and orthodox, Austrian-style Libertarian free marketism espoused by Ron Paul, David Lynch and Quentin Tarantino.