Author Topic: Random stupid things on your mind. Post them.  (Read 1947320 times)

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Re: Random stupid things on your mind. Post them.
« Reply #20850 on: April 29, 2019, 07:54:18 AM »
From my local police report:

11:47 a.m. — A man from Sebastopol Road reported his neighbor attacked him as he was passing him, yelling that it was his fault that Trump was president and pounding on the hood of the vehicle. The neighbor was now lying in the road and not moving. A report was taken.

5:19 p.m. — A caller from La Barr Meadows and Dog Bar roads reported a reckless driver throwing marijuana cigarettes out the window.

9:10 p.m. — A woman from Long Point Road reported she intervened between two dogs that were attacking another animal and now she has metal sticking out of her face, a broken tooth and a broken nose. She needed medical attention, which was dispatched.

10:53 p.m. — A caller from Pine Knoll Court reported a man in her garage said he was on LSD and shoved and pushed her when she asked him to leave. He was trying to gain entry to the garage and had his shoes and two forks in his hands.

10:59 p.m. — A woman called to report she is Sam Walton of Wal-Mart, she is a property owner here and if the chief of police needs her to respond, she can. She sounded under the influence of a controlled substance.

Re: Random stupid things on your mind. Post them.
« Reply #20851 on: April 29, 2019, 09:19:42 AM »
I have not seen it remarked upon elsewhere, but it seems to me that Americans' relationship with the potato is not unlike that of certain areas of Germany with the turnip:  unadorned it is famine-fodder, and its various disguises are viewed with suspicion.  I will not eat steak fries, for example; they are rarely cooked in the fat of the steak as the name implies and are a sneaky way to get you to ingest large chunks of tuber.  Calling them "fries" does not make them a treat.

You will see people dating Germany's turnip-horror to the deprivations of the world wars, but it goes back centuries.  As Variation 30 of the Goldbergs Bach set what must have been a popular song of the time which is usually translated as "Cabbage and turnips drove me away from home/Had my mother cooked more meat/I would have stayed around" or something like that.  Though in typical American fashion, instead of using potato-eating for class warfare (see Dr. Johnson's famous entry for "oats") we come up with all kinds of preparations to market the potato as delicious:  crinkle, curly, waffle, tots...

The idea of Australians lining up for fried potato slices (though I suppose they "queue") is sort of quaint.  Protein builds the muscle, sugar (especially alcohol) propels the spirit, and fats (I think, at least) fire the brain, but I think there is something about a diet of complex carbohydrates that renders a population docile and biddable and thus un-American.  The Romans knew this (bread and circuses) and it was the potato that pacified Ireland.  Besides, your modern russet is now a monstrous brick of tasteless starch with the skin the only redeeming flavor.  You may sneer at American indulgence but I will not touch a russet unless it has been liberally anointed with the fats of at least two different beasts.

Those small, new potatoes are a different matter altogether, though; just butter and lots of salt.



Re: Random stupid things on your mind. Post them.
« Reply #20852 on: April 29, 2019, 09:27:42 AM »
Someday I’ll get my chance. And when I do and I am in The Presence of God and all Her Power and Light, given the opportunity by Her and only Her to say or ask only ONLY THING and one thing only this is what I would say - “SOCK!” and run out of Her House and sit in the wilderness for all of Eternity. 


Re: Random stupid things on your mind. Post them.
« Reply #20853 on: April 29, 2019, 10:09:09 AM »
From my local police report:

10:59 p.m. — A woman called to report she is Sam Walton of Wal-Mart, she is a property owner here and if the chief of police needs her to respond, she can. She sounded under the influence of a controlled substance.

Good news.  Sam Walton is a better friend than enemy.  Hopefully the Chief won't be shy in tapping this resource as needed.


VC

Re: Random stupid things on your mind. Post them.
« Reply #20854 on: April 29, 2019, 10:44:24 AM »
From my local police report:

11:47 a.m. — A man from Sebastopol Road reported his neighbor attacked him as he was passing him, yelling that it was his fault that Trump was president and pounding on the hood of the vehicle. The neighbor was now lying in the road and not moving. A report was taken.

5:19 p.m. — A caller from La Barr Meadows and Dog Bar roads reported a reckless driver throwing marijuana cigarettes out the window.

9:10 p.m. — A woman from Long Point Road reported she intervened between two dogs that were attacking another animal and now she has metal sticking out of her face, a broken tooth and a broken nose. She needed medical attention, which was dispatched.

10:53 p.m. — A caller from Pine Knoll Court reported a man in her garage said he was on LSD and shoved and pushed her when she asked him to leave. He was trying to gain entry to the garage and had his shoes and two forks in his hands.

10:59 p.m. — A woman called to report she is Sam Walton of Wal-Mart, she is a property owner here and if the chief of police needs her to respond, she can. She sounded under the influence of a controlled substance.

Maybe there's a bright side for your MIA friend considering it can be much worse based on these BSC reports. I truly hope so, despite my consternation. Do you know if she's ok now?

Re: Random stupid things on your mind. Post them.
« Reply #20855 on: April 30, 2019, 07:54:09 PM »
I'll leave this here  ;D ;D


Re: Random stupid things on your mind. Post them.
« Reply #20856 on: May 02, 2019, 12:50:06 PM »
kekeke

Re: Random stupid things on your mind. Post them.
« Reply #20857 on: May 05, 2019, 09:19:42 AM »
It means your dish does not meet the minimum standard of indulgence to qualify as fair food, I'm afraid -- the cheese and ranch dressing are a desperate bid for edibility.  Plus, people would line up thinking it's seafood.

It is normally sold from fish and chip shops and often goes in family packs etc alongside seafood, but calling them 'scallops' is a regional thing (they're called potato cakes in my region). What is actually served on them instead of sauces is chicken salt, which is not really a thing outside Australia and hasn't been stolen from us yet - despite being very good with a range of foods including fries.

I have not seen it remarked upon elsewhere, but it seems to me that Americans' relationship with the potato is not unlike that of certain areas of Germany with the turnip:  unadorned it is famine-fodder, and its various disguises are viewed with suspicion.  I will not eat steak fries, for example; they are rarely cooked in the fat of the steak as the name implies and are a sneaky way to get you to ingest large chunks of tuber.  Calling them "fries" does not make them a treat.

You will see people dating Germany's turnip-horror to the deprivations of the world wars, but it goes back centuries.  As Variation 30 of the Goldbergs Bach set what must have been a popular song of the time which is usually translated as "Cabbage and turnips drove me away from home/Had my mother cooked more meat/I would have stayed around" or something like that.  Though in typical American fashion, instead of using potato-eating for class warfare (see Dr. Johnson's famous entry for "oats") we come up with all kinds of preparations to market the potato as delicious:  crinkle, curly, waffle, tots...

The idea of Australians lining up for fried potato slices (though I suppose they "queue") is sort of quaint.  Protein builds the muscle, sugar (especially alcohol) propels the spirit, and fats (I think, at least) fire the brain, but I think there is something about a diet of complex carbohydrates that renders a population docile and biddable and thus un-American.  The Romans knew this (bread and circuses) and it was the potato that pacified Ireland.  Besides, your modern russet is now a monstrous brick of tasteless starch with the skin the only redeeming flavor.  You may sneer at American indulgence but I will not touch a russet unless it has been liberally anointed with the fats of at least two different beasts.

Those small, new potatoes are a different matter altogether, though; just butter and lots of salt.

potato philosophy and theory

Re: Random stupid things on your mind. Post them.
« Reply #20858 on: May 05, 2019, 12:13:16 PM »
I have not seen it remarked upon elsewhere, but it seems to me that Americans' relationship with the potato is not unlike that of certain areas of Germany with the turnip:  unadorned it is famine-fodder, and its various disguises are viewed with suspicion.  I will not eat steak fries, for example; they are rarely cooked in the fat of the steak as the name implies and are a sneaky way to get you to ingest large chunks of tuber.  Calling them "fries" does not make them a treat.

You will see people dating Germany's turnip-horror to the deprivations of the world wars, but it goes back centuries.  As Variation 30 of the Goldbergs Bach set what must have been a popular song of the time which is usually translated as "Cabbage and turnips drove me away from home/Had my mother cooked more meat/I would have stayed around" or something like that.  Though in typical American fashion, instead of using potato-eating for class warfare (see Dr. Johnson's famous entry for "oats") we come up with all kinds of preparations to market the potato as delicious:  crinkle, curly, waffle, tots...

The idea of Australians lining up for fried potato slices (though I suppose they "queue") is sort of quaint.  Protein builds the muscle, sugar (especially alcohol) propels the spirit, and fats (I think, at least) fire the brain, but I think there is something about a diet of complex carbohydrates that renders a population docile and biddable and thus un-American.  The Romans knew this (bread and circuses) and it was the potato that pacified Ireland.  Besides, your modern russet is now a monstrous brick of tasteless starch with the skin the only redeeming flavor.  You may sneer at American indulgence but I will not touch a russet unless it has been liberally anointed with the fats of at least two different beasts.

Those small, new potatoes are a different matter altogether, though; just butter and lots of salt.
I like the theory and would like to subscribe to your newsletter. 

The UK calls a turnip a "Swede."  Though sometimes also the rutabaga is called such. There seems to be some weird variances, which is interesting. Also

Re: Random stupid things on your mind. Post them.
« Reply #20859 on: May 05, 2019, 04:02:27 PM »
The UK calls a turnip a "Swede."
I always thought those were the tourists from Sweden they ate.  Do you have a citation for your hypothesis?

Re: Random stupid things on your mind. Post them.
« Reply #20860 on: May 05, 2019, 04:11:35 PM »
I like the theory and would like to subscribe to your newsletter. 

The UK calls a turnip a "Swede."  Though sometimes also the rutabaga is called such. There seems to be some weird variances, which is interesting. Also

No, that's the Scots who call them 'neeps'. A turnip is a turnip in England and a Swede is a Swede (your rutabaga).

Re: Random stupid things on your mind. Post them.
« Reply #20861 on: May 05, 2019, 04:14:57 PM »
It is normally sold from fish and chip shops and often goes in family packs etc alongside seafood, but calling them 'scallops' is a regional thing (they're called potato cakes in my region). What is actually served on them instead of sauces is chicken salt, which is not really a thing outside Australia and hasn't been stolen from us yet - despite being very good with a range of foods including fries.

I am guessing it is salt mixed with whatever makes chicken-in-a-biscuit crackers taste like chicken soup.  That would be really good; I always wondered what wizardry was responsible.

Quote
potato philosophy and theory

Oh they go together!  Look at your various East Asian cultures that serve that Confucian nonsense about respecting authority in one hand and a rice bowl in the other.

Re: Random stupid things on your mind. Post them.
« Reply #20862 on: May 05, 2019, 04:20:26 PM »
No, that's the Scots who call them 'neeps'. A turnip is a turnip in England and a Swede is a Swede (your rutabaga).

Norwegians (and I'm guessing Swedes too, but don't know for sure) call it kaalrabi, which in English is something else entirely.

Re: Random stupid things on your mind. Post them.
« Reply #20863 on: May 05, 2019, 04:23:08 PM »
potato philosophy and theory

Upon mastering this incredibly tough subject and obtaining the rare and highly prized 33rd Degree, you are
presented with your own Temple to reflect upon the mysteries of the Yukon Gold.


Re: Random stupid things on your mind. Post them.
« Reply #20864 on: May 05, 2019, 04:27:28 PM »
 :-\
Norwegians (and I'm guessing Swedes too, but don't know for sure) call it kaalrabi, which in English is something else entirely.

https://www.bbcgoodfood.com/glossary/kohlrabi

I was going to grow it once but didn't get round to it. You lot also insist on calling beans different names like lima, fava, garbanzo etc. I don't know why you don't just accept the English way of doing things which is, by definition, always correct.

Re: Random stupid things on your mind. Post them.
« Reply #20865 on: May 05, 2019, 04:31:16 PM »
:-\
https://www.bbcgoodfood.com/glossary/kohlrabi

I was going to grow it once but didn't get round to it. You lot also insist on calling beans different names like lima, fava, garbanzo etc. I don't know why you don't just accept the English way of doing things which is, by definition, always correct.

Which is that there is only one bean and it comes in a Heinz can?  What do you call them all -- large beans, medium-sized beans, small beans, lumpy bean (garbanzos)?

Re: Random stupid things on your mind. Post them.
« Reply #20866 on: May 05, 2019, 04:34:32 PM »
Which is that there is only one bean and it comes in a Heinz can?  What do you call them all -- large beans, medium-sized beans, small beans, lumpy bean (garbanzos)?

I assume you are referring to baked beans, which are an essential dietary component for every upstanding Englishman, along with Marmite and Bird's custard. Often taken all at the same time.

Re: Random stupid things on your mind. Post them.
« Reply #20867 on: May 05, 2019, 04:39:49 PM »
I like the theory and would like to subscribe to your newsletter. 

Haha I have a whole theory about how lactose and gluten intolerance is a plot to undermine the genetic advantages that allowed western civilization to prosper -- you can see where this is going.  But it doesn't have that conspiratorial zing yet; I have to find someone to blame.

Re: Random stupid things on your mind. Post them.
« Reply #20868 on: May 05, 2019, 04:42:49 PM »
I assume you are referring to baked beans, which are an essential dietary component for every upstanding Englishman, along with Marmite and Bird's custard. Often taken all at the same time.

Ugh they are a chore to eat.  And Birds is like hot melted ice cream on your dessert -- why would you want that?  When the French speak of creme anglaise I am sure it is intended as a pejorative.  The less said about Marmite, the better.

Re: Random stupid things on your mind. Post them.
« Reply #20869 on: May 05, 2019, 04:42:52 PM »
Haha I have a whole theory about how lactose and gluten intolerance is a plot to undermine the genetic advantages that allowed western civilization to prosper -- you can see where this is going.  But it doesn't have that conspiratorial zing yet; I have to find someone to blame.

Blame Big John - why do you think Con Agra stopped "officially" producing them? 




Look to the Fixin's K_Dubb.  Look to the Fixin's.

Re: Random stupid things on your mind. Post them.
« Reply #20870 on: May 05, 2019, 04:52:41 PM »
Blame Big John - why do you think Con Agra stopped "officially" producing them? 




Look to the Fixin's K_Dubb.  Look to the Fixin's.

I don't believe British baked beans come with fixin's.  Therein lies the problem.

Re: Random stupid things on your mind. Post them.
« Reply #20871 on: May 05, 2019, 04:59:52 PM »
I don't believe British baked beans come with fixin's.  Therein lies the problem.

You begin to understand. 





Advantage:   New World.

Re: Random stupid things on your mind. Post them.
« Reply #20872 on: May 05, 2019, 05:05:47 PM »
You begin to understand. 





Advantage:   New World.

Well I don't know -- for baked beans it's hard to beat cassoulet.  It varies, but usually French fixin's include at minimum the fatty parts of at least two fowl and sometimes a sheep in addition to two succulent pork preparations.  Leave it to the frogs.

Re: Random stupid things on your mind. Post them.
« Reply #20873 on: May 05, 2019, 05:10:20 PM »
Well I don't know -- for baked beans it's hard to beat cassoulet.  It varies, but usually French fixin's include at minimum the fatty parts of at least two fowl and sometimes a sheep in addition to two succulent pork preparations.  Leave it to the frogs.

Didn't realize that the Frenchies even ate baked beans.  Of course my biggest exposure to Frenchness was via the Habs and I guess
that doesn't count for much.


Re: Random stupid things on your mind. Post them.
« Reply #20874 on: May 05, 2019, 05:14:33 PM »
Didn't realize that the Frenchies even ate baked beans.  Of course my biggest exposure to Frenchness was via the Habs and I guess
that doesn't count for much.



Oh and a nice, crunchy crumb top!  Meanwhile across the channel they open cans of slop, oblivious as usual.

Re: Random stupid things on your mind. Post them.
« Reply #20875 on: May 05, 2019, 05:20:49 PM »
Man it feels good to beat up on ol' Shreddy again.  I should ease up a bit, though; it's been a long time and I'm loaded for bear.

Re: Random stupid things on your mind. Post them.
« Reply #20876 on: May 05, 2019, 05:21:39 PM »
Oh and a nice, crunchy crumb top!  Meanwhile across the channel they open cans of slop, oblivious as usual.

Hey! Don't your people bury fish in the ground like bloody animals and then dig it up when it's rotted to bits?

And what about this abomination: a whole chicken in a can!

http://davescupboard.blogspot.com/2012/06/sweet-sue-canned-whole-chicken.html

Re: Random stupid things on your mind. Post them.
« Reply #20877 on: May 05, 2019, 05:24:31 PM »
Man it feels good to beat up on ol' Shreddy again.  I should ease up a bit, though; it's been a long time and I'm loaded for bear.


Indeed it does.  He hasn't lost anything off his fastball either.   He definitely pinked you a bit with the buried fish blast.


Re: Random stupid things on your mind. Post them.
« Reply #20878 on: May 05, 2019, 05:25:06 PM »
Hey! Don't your people bury fish in the ground like bloody animals and then dig it up when it's rotted to bits?

And what about this abomination: a whole chicken in a can!

http://davescupboard.blogspot.com/2012/06/sweet-sue-canned-whole-chicken.html

Oh the canned chicken, our secret shame.  But, as done now, gravlax is just a salt cure and is delicious.  You have to go to Iceland to get the rotten stuff, and I think they use shark.  I've never tried it.

Re: Random stupid things on your mind. Post them.
« Reply #20879 on: May 05, 2019, 05:25:10 PM »
I don't believe British baked beans come with fixin's.  Therein lies the problem.


I believe the British "fixins" for beans is some toast, some warm left-over half-empty (ideally a European export) can of lager, and a relighting an old fag butt.