Author Topic: Steven Quayle  (Read 53599 times)

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Re: Dear Steve Quayle, I AM the ILLUMINATI
« Reply #60 on: April 28, 2011, 01:08:25 PM »
Quayle is an amateur who can't handle his paranoia buzz.  He should stick to the beer and leave the mystic/manic shit to pros like me.

If you ever want to move to NC the house next to me is looking for a family.
 

Re: Dear Steve Quayle, I AM the ILLUMINATI
« Reply #61 on: May 01, 2011, 06:21:59 AM »
Gee Whiz! And some of the above people said I was verbose!

BTW: who is Steve Quayle?

What's the deal?

Another beer, sir?

Why, yes: I find in the brew the best illumination apart from simple
quiet.


Re: Dear Steve Quayle, I AM the ILLUMINATI
« Reply #62 on: May 01, 2011, 07:32:33 AM »
Gee Whiz! And some of the above people said I was verbose!

BTW: who is Steve Quayle?

What's the deal?

Another beer, sir?

Why, yes: I find in the brew the best illumination apart from simple
quiet.


Re: How Steve Quayle Pickled My Liver
« Reply #63 on: May 29, 2011, 03:39:40 AM »
When I hear Steve Quayle, my thoughts immediately drift to his little girl Stephanie (google it).  God, I want her in my ice shanty. So now every time Steve Quayle is on I get wood. 

Re: How Steve Quayle Pickled My Liver
« Reply #64 on: May 29, 2011, 09:36:10 AM »
Regarding the C2C broadcast of April 5-6, 2011:

When Q mentions a person, a book, or God of "the bible," - I take a shot of Knob Creek whiskey.
When Q quotes verbatim scripture from "the bible," - I take a shot of Knob Creek whiskey.
When Q mentions the Illuminati - I take a shot of Knob Creek whiskey.

I'm so shit-faced right now.

My liver is pickled for Steve Quayle's sins.

Izz okay.... I used kosher sea salt and float effortlessly like a Talmudic Claussen pickle beast, rising from a churning vinegar sea in Revelation, Chapter 13.

It's not even the subject matter that makes me so nauseated... (I value passionate people who believe in something.)  Rather, it is the very timbre of the screeching motor-mouthed little harpy - his Silly Putty® brain thoughts resonating through chitinous Chicken Little beak even as I reach for yet another shot of Knob Creek.

And then . . . After each drink . . . I imitate the late great Fred Gwynne as emoted in Pet Sematary:

"Ayuh."

P.S. to MV - Led Zeppelin's Physical Graffiti has been located, tested, and goes out on April 6. You have my wyrd - but you will only believe it when you see it. If you already own a copy on 8T, I can only say that you can never own too many back up copies of Physical Graffiti.

(edit: WOW! Q just mentioned Stephen King's Christine.  Not quite Pet Sematary, but borderline synchronistic to bring up King at all after my post! Alas, I must be "riding with the gods.")


'by the way' is always my trigger phrase when listening to Quayle.

Re: How Steve Quayle Pickled My Liver
« Reply #65 on: May 31, 2011, 08:46:40 AM »
Knob Creek is savage stuff

Re: How Steve Quayle Pickled My Liver
« Reply #66 on: June 03, 2011, 03:29:54 AM »
Knob Creek is savage stuff

Well said.

Also, I would be negligent if I did not mention Knob Creek can also be a bit savage on the wallet, depending on one's personal ratio of time and consumption.

Many of us are suffering in these economic times, even those of us holding the position of teaching high level language courses via the U.S. Mail with 8 Track tape infusion techniques as developed in The Village oh so long ago by Number 1 and defied by Number 6.  Or do I have that reversed?

Six of one . . .

Sorry, Mr. Quayle, but from now on, you will be relegated to shots of Canadian Mist or George Dickel with ice cold RC Cola chasers, or I might break out some obscure tequila.

Knob Creek will be reserved for top shelf guests - not that you're lower rung, Mr. Q., by any means.  You just need some vocal coaching and timing drills.

Two suggestions: 

1) Take a deep breath and back off the "giants" angle and re evaluate. 

2) Consider an intensive weekend encounter with Carrot Top and find your true voice and how to use it.

Carrot will change your life regarding your voice.

(or at least steal your wallet and laugh like a trickster jackass. 
Redheaded giant?  No. 
Redheaded jackass?  You betcha metcha.)

B.C.N.U.

Re: How Steve Quayle Pickled My Liver
« Reply #67 on: July 11, 2011, 02:40:23 AM »
Regarding Quayle's appearance on July 10/11:

My liver never had a chance.

To delay complete self-destruction, I used/am using a miniature shot glass as pictured, 1.5 inches tall and filled only half full.

I limited the shots to Quayle mentioning "Jesus."

If host John Wells said "Jesus," I had to drink two.

Ice cold Jägermeister was the fuel of choice.

Miniature shot glass obtained from a Protestant Communion Service so long ago.
 
(Cowards used grape juice instead of wine.  Talk about partaking "unworthily." Hell, given the location of said Communion Service, shots of Dr. Pepper would have been superior and more meaningful than grape juice.)

I enjoyed the bumper music choice of playing "The Vigil" by Blue Oyster Cult - the only good thing in the show.

Synchronistically, to match the origin of my glass, Blue Oyster Cult's initials possibly mean  ...

But Quayle sucks mightily.   He will be dead and in the ground for two thousand more years with no return of "Jesus Christ."

I guarantee it.

My liver goes out in a blaze of glory......  I'm seeing visions of Dean Martin playing ping-pong with Skip James.... Wendy O. Williams in a blood red satin nun's habit is the referee...  her ref whistle is a little chrome firearm that matches the one she used to ....

George Noory Sucks.  Even when he isn't the host.

Never forget that.  Always drink to that.

Steve Quayle is annoying
« Reply #68 on: August 31, 2011, 01:32:18 AM »
Build your own Steve Quayle bot:

1) Comment on the exclusive nature of some information, or what's out there being lies.
2) Utter a series of linked technobabble and made-up sentence structures that ultimately say nothing.
3) Interject the host's name now and then for effect.
4) Repeat, and just keep swinging from concept to concept, like a drunk monkey through a jungle of nonsense.

Watch:

George: "What do you have for us tonight, Steven?"

Steve :  "This is something that's passing under the popular radar George, and you won't see in discussed anywhere. What we have here is a grid of electrocouplings set at trans-equivalent distances across the country, and, from what my sources are telling me, this could be global, with Chinese, Russian, and Hindu engineering present in many of the blueprints found.  Now these blueprints show that the voltages involved in these electrocouplings aren't even being discussed in scientific circles, because many of the scientists discussing them are asleep, on vacation, or haven't been born yet. Yes, you heard that last one correctly, perhaps a topic for another night.  And that's not just a disservice George, the public is having the wool pulled over their eyes.  And let me tell you something about their eyes, Alex. I mean George.  Our eyes have been subjected to transdermal radiation over the last decade or so, for the sole purpose of making them insensitive to seeing the energy being emitted from these electrocoupling boxes, if you will.  The people doing this aren't making a short term investment.  This has been planned for a long time."

George: "You mean electric like lightning in the sky?"

Steve:  "Similar in concept, but far more dangerous, because it has more syllabes than "lightning", and we all know that the more syllables something has, it is far more dangerous.  This is called the synthetic terror hypothesis in global security circles.  Now back to these boxes, the electrocoupling static grids, emit neurostatic electricity, as opposed to the standard types.  That word may not sound familiar to the public at large, but it sends shivers down the spine of those of us in the know.  Neurostatics were a unique type of flotation device developed in Soviet Russia in the 1970's.  The ironic part about this, and what will cause many of your listeners shock, George, is that there were originally designed for good, by a well meaning researcher who was originally a potato farmer.  They were sold with backyard pools and at beaches to aid swimmers, until a design flaw showed that the -- well, this is a bit advanced for the audience, but I'll summarize by saying that the circle of the floation device resonated at a frequency called the neurostatic point, and it is the exact same point for all humans on earth."

George:  "That sounds dangerous!"

Steve:  "It certainly is, and the implications of this are stratospheric.  This isn't just an electric threat, George.  It is biological, chemical, nuclear, and it may in some cases, even involve hermaphrodites.  We've faced these in isolation, but there are mounting forces that seek to combine these effects.  To what ends remains the central question, and my sources have been quiet of late.  But it is no coincidence that at the same time people have seen these strange electroconductive boxes, most if not all flotation devices were emptied from the shelves in a small store in Wisconsin.  Now why Wisconsin you may ask, George.  Wisconsin is the home of three of the seventy-five largest latex manufacturers in the world, and at least 13% of corporations in Wisconsin have current contracts in Russia.  It is absolutely terrifying, even to experts in nautical neucleotonics, half of whom are dead."

George:  "Fascinating as usual, Steven."

Stay tuned my next installment of Fake Steve Quayle.


Re: Fake Steve Quayle
« Reply #69 on: August 31, 2011, 01:41:19 AM »
How about some other regular c2c guest bots, for Major Ed Dames, Richard Hoagland, etc?  :P

Re: Fake Steve Quayle
« Reply #70 on: August 31, 2011, 04:05:59 AM »
Bravo, Flaxen, bravo. You've got Quayle's strategy and non-content nailed to a tree.  :D

Re: Fake Steve Quayle
« Reply #71 on: August 31, 2011, 04:19:29 AM »
I want to hear more about the hermaphrodites. I'm freaky like that.

Re: Fake Steve Quayle
« Reply #72 on: August 31, 2011, 04:40:44 AM »
sheer poetry.

Re: Fake Steve Quayle
« Reply #73 on: August 31, 2011, 07:09:53 AM »
sheer poetry.

I prefer my poetry a little more opaque... And more hermaphrodites. With a few sub-radar electocouplings. Please.

Re: Fake Steve Quayle
« Reply #74 on: August 31, 2011, 08:00:38 AM »
His website is comedy gold, too. He has pictures of people with a pituitary syndrome which makes them secrete too much growth hormone, and these poor dears are supposed to be the proof for incipient 11-foot cannibal giantism. His references to all the "top-secret clearance" people that are covertly in touch with him regarding these human-eating cannibal giants are hilarious: "I had a full bird colonel in my office last week and he told me that he'd flown on many missions to take these giants out. The way he told it - you ought to see these creatures - they can gouge out and swallow your liver in one fell swoop, and I'm telling you, a full bird colonel told me this, in my office so you know it's gotta be the truth, George. I wouldn't believe it myself, but I know what the Bible says, and these things are here, eating people right and left, George, and there's lots of military people who will tell you the same. They go on these missions all the time."

Re: Fake Steve Quayle
« Reply #75 on: August 31, 2011, 08:17:24 AM »
Priceless, F.H. 

I have only one suggestion for improvement: remove all the periods from your text. Your version is entirely too coherent.

Steve Quayle never ends a sentence to begin a new idea; he simply embeds the new idea in a sentence he's started, then forgets where he was going with the first part of the sentence, which forces him to embed yet a third, fourth, fifth idea . . .   

It's enough to make your head spin. 

Re: Fake Steve Quayle
« Reply #76 on: August 31, 2011, 09:21:25 AM »
I don't want to come across as a dumbass here, and the topic of this thread is "Fake Steve Quayle", but did that conversation between Noory & Quayle actually take place or did you make that up?
It's sad a person has to ask a question like this, but that conversation actually sounds like the kind've shit that is on Coast to Coast AM today. Giants and cannibals, ufos, wtf is an electrocoupling? Hermaphrodites?
George: "You mean electric like lightning in the sky?" Noory would say something that dumbass and I honestly don't know if that post of yours is complete satire or totally real.


Re: Fake Steve Quayle
« Reply #77 on: August 31, 2011, 07:24:27 PM »
I don't want to come across as a dumbass here, and the topic of this thread is "Fake Steve Quayle", but did that conversation between Noory & Quayle actually take place or did you make that up?
It's sad a person has to ask a question like this, but that conversation actually sounds like the kind've shit that is on Coast to Coast AM today. Giants and cannibals, ufos, wtf is an electrocoupling? Hermaphrodites?
George: "You mean electric like lightning in the sky?" Noory would say something that dumbass and I honestly don't know if that post of yours is complete satire or totally real.
Between the original post and this response, this is a great thread. Good stuff. This is why I love this place.

Re: Fake Steve Quayle
« Reply #78 on: August 31, 2011, 09:54:05 PM »
Between the original post and this response, this is a great thread. Good stuff. This is why I love this place.
Agreed.  Also, I truly loathe Steve Quayle.  He's a psychotic Christian fundamentalist.  I once googled this piece of garbage and came across a blogger with sterling conservative credentials who wrote that Quayle spewed sewage which needlessly scared sincere but uneducated Christians.  That's why I can't even laugh at Quayle because I know that there are gullible folks out there who are who are buying his "books" and "videos." 

Re: Fake Steve Quayle
« Reply #79 on: August 31, 2011, 09:55:01 PM »
I don't want to come across as a dumbass here, and the topic of this thread is "Fake Steve Quayle", but did that conversation between Noory & Quayle actually take place or did you make that up?
It's sad a person has to ask a question like this, but that conversation actually sounds like the kind've shit that is on Coast to Coast AM today. Giants and cannibals, ufos, wtf is an electrocoupling? Hermaphrodites?
George: "You mean electric like lightning in the sky?" Noory would say something that dumbass and I honestly don't know if that post of yours is complete satire or totally real.
You're not alone, General, not by a longshot.

Re: Fake Steve Quayle
« Reply #80 on: September 01, 2011, 10:44:59 PM »
If you listen to Quayle with "Astronomy Domine" on in the background, it'll make you feel like you're in Syd Barrett's head.

Re: Fake Steve Quayle
« Reply #81 on: September 02, 2011, 03:57:49 AM »
I want to hear more about the hermaphrodites. I'm freaky like that.

They are fallen angels and you should stay away from them.

Re: Fake Steve Quayle
« Reply #82 on: September 02, 2011, 02:02:47 PM »
Build your own Steve Quayle bot:

1) Comment on the exclusive nature of some information, or what's out there being lies.
2) Utter a series of linked technobabble and made-up sentence structures that ultimately say nothing.
3) Interject the host's name now and then for effect.
4) Repeat, and just keep swinging from concept to concept, like a drunk monkey through a jungle of nonsense.

I think that C2C will be calling you up any minute now to schedule you in.

Re: Fake Steve Quayle
« Reply #83 on: September 04, 2011, 06:18:37 PM »
i was about to point out that squayle is bat shit crazy. then I remembered how much I hate to repeat myself

Re: Fake Steve Quayle
« Reply #84 on: September 06, 2011, 03:53:17 PM »
Thanks for the comments.

I was going more for the rhythm of Quayle's shit-stream, and not its content.  In fact, the content was made up as I went along, other than backtracking if a clause was too long and threw off the rhythm.  I have no idea what these boxes are or what they have to do with life preservers, but maybe I'll run with it.

Other C2C guests wouldn't be as easily translated into text, as they have fairly standard speaking styles.  Hoagland and LMH, for example, are reasonably skilled speakers who just say nonsense.  Quayle could read a nursery rhyme and still sound like a moonbat, because of his cadence and inflection.
 

Re: Fake Steve Quayle
« Reply #85 on: September 07, 2011, 02:00:25 AM »
Any new fake-Quayle post coming related to his latest appearance this week on c2c?

Steve Quayle is annoying
« Reply #86 on: September 07, 2011, 07:07:51 AM »
Your doom and gloom is too much even for me, a self-confessed doom-and-gloomer.  Go jump off a high bridge and make the world a better place.  Do it for the children.

Re: Fake Steve Quayle
« Reply #87 on: September 08, 2011, 05:10:45 PM »
Any new fake-Quayle post coming related to his latest appearance this week on c2c?

Ha, I think I had to talk slower for three days to recover from that channeling of our friend Stevie.  My adrenals are probably shot.

Re: EFF YOU STEVE QUAYLE!
« Reply #88 on: September 12, 2011, 10:03:50 PM »
Your doom and gloom is too much even for me, a self-confessed doom-and-gloomer.  Go jump off a high bridge and make the world a better place.  Do it for the children.
Quayle is a phoney doomer.  I'll bet you he doesn't even own a New Order album, let alone a Joy Division album.  I doubt that he's ever seen a Bergmann or Fassbinder film.  Quayle is a right-wing Christianist fear monger who makes money off of ignorant and scared people.

Re: EFF YOU STEVE QUAYLE!
« Reply #89 on: September 12, 2011, 10:20:11 PM »
Quayle is a phoney doomer.  I'll bet you he doesn't even own a New Order album, let alone a Joy Division album.  I doubt that he's ever seen a Bergmann or Fassbinder film.

    I wish Quayle would listen to "The Idiot" and watch "Stroszek". That combination seems to be fatal...

   But, maybe it's only fatal to gifted people. If that's the case, Quayle will obviously survive.

   A world where Ian Curtis dies at 23,but Steve Quayle approaches senior discount age is a shitty place to be.