Author Topic: Bart Ell's thread  (Read 4152 times)

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Bart Ell's thread
« Reply #360 on: August 20, 2019, 06:12:56 PM »
It's funny Grandpa didn't have any cannibal stories -- it would be the classic missionary-in-a-pot.  Plenty of headhunter stories, though; he was supposedly one of the first white men up certain rivers in the interior among the people collectively called Dayaks but who aren't really all that related.

I've come to view the missionary stories with a certain degree of skepticism -- there's one crocodile-wrestling one (not him but a convert) that, even as a kid, raised an eyebrow -- but he was undoubtedly courageous, pious fervor notwithstanding.
Did he know who ate Michael Rockefeller?

Bart Ell's thread
« Reply #361 on: August 20, 2019, 06:40:46 PM »
Did he know who ate Michael Rockefeller?

I think you mean "did he know who was ordered to eat Michael Rockereller?"


Lodge orders is lodge orders, mang.  ;)

Bart Ell's thread
« Reply #362 on: August 20, 2019, 07:00:18 PM »
Helping a relative move, who had to conveniently go out of town before final move-out of their place, and I had to carefully take down a python skin (wrapped almost wall and 1/2 of his home office) that was given to him by his granddad who was a missionary over there and killed it. He didn't trust his wife (or she refused, depending on version) to do so carefully enough for shipping. Key is take down first, lay in hallway, then roll carefully (I used an old paper-towel tube to start.)

I had a history teacher who had a shrunken-head, her husband got in Ecuador or somewhere down south working for the "company" US AID, I think. I used "company" as a purposeful allusion, btw. She said most are fake and you really need to be careful.  I don't recall why this would've been brought up in class. I guess to get our attention.

Ha that is funny -- I wouldn't be at all surprised if it was from some missionary show 'n' tell boutique just off the dock which was either the first or the last stop on the tour.  Komodo dragon skin, angklung, carved heads, batik, various samples of basketry for the ladies to oooh at, all for the low, low price of 29 guilders.  Pose with Henry the headhunter for just a few florins more.


Bart Ell's thread
« Reply #363 on: August 20, 2019, 09:30:15 PM »
I may have mentioned this before but, under their French name "sabot", they are also at the root of industrial sabotage.

As good Christians (and dirt poor) my grandparents would not have eaten pure meat on a stick -- it has to be offset with at least 10x the volume in cheap starch.  Hence the aforementioned bahmi goreng, which Grandma used to approximate with spaghetti noodles, plain old white cabbage, and a few strips of bacon when they did their missionary shows:  blowpipe and tomtom, python skin, poison darts with the little gourd, glass slides of Grandpa in a dugout in Borneo, playing his accordion in the jungle, posing in a headhunter's hut with skulls hanging from the rafters.

I've since learned to make it the right way from a real Indonesian lady and her 104-year-old father who spent decades as a political prisoner (of a nationalist cast) under Suharto -- coincidentally they were both at my aunt's for dinner last night.

Haha, K.  The ad placement is getting pretty clever around here.  For a second I thought that you had worked in a graphic to show how your grandparent's diet was beneficial to healthy vision.



Bart Ell's thread
« Reply #364 on: August 20, 2019, 09:35:38 PM »
Haha, K.  The ad placement is getting pretty clever around here.  For a second I thought that you had worked in a graphic to show how your grandparent's diet was beneficial to healthy vision.



Hi Rix Gins.  So nice to see you!

+1

Bart Ell's thread
« Reply #365 on: August 20, 2019, 09:41:50 PM »
Hi Rix Gins.  So nice to see you!

+1

Hi Brig!  Always nice to see you, too.  +1

Bart Ell's thread
« Reply #366 on: August 20, 2019, 09:42:28 PM »
Hi Brig!  Always nice to see you, too.  +1

Great post! +1

Bart Ell's thread
« Reply #367 on: August 20, 2019, 09:59:36 PM »
I read about this in the papers. Things were going fine until k_dubb started to read his 'Ode to an Expiring Frog'. He was only halfway through the third verse before that poor centenarian started banging his head on the table. He's still under sedation, and this is a man well used to electricity and being beaten with hammers.



+/- 19.5 N.S.

-p

Bart Ell's thread
« Reply #368 on: August 20, 2019, 10:01:34 PM »
Haha, K.  The ad placement is getting pretty clever around here.  For a second I thought that you had worked in a graphic to show how your grandparent's diet was beneficial to healthy vision.



Hahaha they are too clever!  For a minute earlier, no doubt inspired by the new bikini thread, I thought Shreddie was showing me pictures of women's swimwear.

Bart Ell's thread
« Reply #369 on: August 20, 2019, 10:50:38 PM »

Bart Ell's thread
« Reply #370 on: August 31, 2019, 09:40:35 PM »


+/- 19.5 N.S.

-p
Age progression of Groyp.

Bart Ell's thread
« Reply #371 on: September 04, 2019, 09:16:08 PM »
Puhleeeze! All of you assholes would be back posting at Ellgab within the hour of Bellgab shutting down again. Stop trying to come off like you're so above it. Proof is you waited until Bellgab came back online before stopping posting there.

I left of my own free will months before Bellgab came back. I think SaucyRossy mentioned Ellgab was weird and stopped posting there too.

Bart Ell's thread
« Reply #372 on: September 04, 2019, 09:50:34 PM »
Puhleeeze! All of you assholes would be back posting at Ellgab within the hour of Bellgab shutting down again. Stop trying to come off like you're so above it. Proof is you waited until Bellgab came back online before stopping posting there.

I left of my own free will months before Bellgab came back. I think SaucyRossy mentioned Ellgab was weird and stopped posting there too.

-1 Judgy McJudgypants

Bart Ell's thread
« Reply #373 on: September 04, 2019, 09:52:05 PM »

Bart Ell's thread
« Reply #374 on: September 04, 2019, 09:54:04 PM »
-1 Judgy McJudgypants

Goddamn right. Five pages of "I'm better than Ellgab (but would go back in a second if Bellgab went down)". Someone needed to say it.

P.S. I took out the off-topic posts making it five, no one ever does that.

Bart Ell's thread
« Reply #375 on: September 04, 2019, 10:00:15 PM »

Bart Ell's thread
« Reply #376 on: September 04, 2019, 11:14:42 PM »
Puhleeeze! All of you assholes would be back posting at Ellgab within the hour of Bellgab shutting down again. Stop trying to come off like you're so above it. Proof is you waited until Bellgab came back online before stopping posting there.

I left of my own free will months before Bellgab came back. I think SaucyRossy mentioned Ellgab was weird and stopped posting there too.

Not me. I wouldn’t be allowed. Now that is pure faggorty. ;)