Author Topic: Gender v. Age Identity  (Read 590 times)

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Re: Gender v. Age Identity
« Reply #30 on: June 22, 2019, 03:04:32 PM »
I remain neutral on this point. While a playful theory, I suspect the truth is far stranger.

My other theory is that it is Star who can't stay away, in which case gosh I'm sorry honey.

Re: Gender v. Age Identity
« Reply #31 on: June 22, 2019, 03:08:37 PM »
My other theory is that it is Star who can't stay away, in which case gosh I'm sorry honey.

SisStarr is nowhere near as insipid as Sicksteen.

Re: Gender v. Age Identity
« Reply #32 on: June 22, 2019, 03:29:01 PM »
SisStarr is nowhere near as insipid as Sicksteen.

I am relieved that you should say so, pate.


Re: Gender v. Age Identity
« Reply #33 on: June 22, 2019, 05:57:53 PM »

Generally, women and men perceive needs and prioritize chores differently.  Men tend to batch ones like dishes for efficiency's sake, and the sense of accomplishment at completing one large task rather than many small ones.  In a modern household, there is no reason this method should be deprecated in favor of womanish hovering because they both work just as well and the house is no longer an exclusively female province.

True! One partner tending to the large, more critical jobs while the other takes care of the smaller, but still necessary, tasks makes for an ideal household partnership.



In practice, though, the woman, irked by chores left till later, makes an issue of it, forgetting that she married a man who can be expected to act like a man and not like one of her girlfriends playing house.

I've seen quite a few relationships founder on this rock and, as you might expect, it is really a proxy for a much larger issue:  women marry men but don't actually like them.  They would probably be happier as lesbians.

I blame feminism.

When you love someone, every little service you can anticipate is no chore, but an utter joy. If you are prepared to take issue with the love of your life over dishes in the sink, you no longer love him and you are just two people sharing a house niggling over the banalities of cohabitation.  I suggest you use whatever vestiges of affection you have for him to divorce him and spare him the horror of discovering how shallow your attachment really is.  You mercenary shrew.

K_Dubb, you have confirmed what I have long suspected about you being a truly romantic soul.

I cannot imagine not wanting to make my husband feel loved and appreciated when he arrives home after being away or just from working a long day. He returns the sentiments by not messing the house up too much.  ;)


 




Re: Gender v. Age Identity
« Reply #34 on: June 22, 2019, 07:41:55 PM »
K_Dubb, you have confirmed what I have long suspected about you being a truly romantic soul.

I cannot imagine not wanting to make my husband feel loved and appreciated when he arrives home after being away or just from working a long day. He returns the sentiments by not messing the house up too much.  ;)

Haha yeah painfully so, I'm afraid; I got the scars to prove it  :P

I don't know what it is about modern society that goes to eyerolling lengths to honor public service to giant faceless entities but tells us that within our homes, with those we love and trust, we must guard our prerogatives jealously lest they take advantage.  That seems to me to be a fundamental inversion of the natural order.

Re: Gender v. Age Identity
« Reply #35 on: June 23, 2019, 01:13:46 AM »
I will address these remarks generally because I think Shreddie is right and you are a man playing a well-developed character that is probably named "everything I hate about women" in your mind, as you seem determined to bring all of these qualities to the fore.

...

How I feel about women is evidenced in how I treat them in this forum.  Granted, I can't tell the gender of half of the avatars, but you can get the idea.  I'm not a man.  I was born female.  Can't you tell I'm short?  Ask me anything.

Re: Gender v. Age Identity
« Reply #36 on: June 23, 2019, 01:40:15 AM »
...

...

When you love someone, every little service you can anticipate is no chore, but an utter joy.  If you are prepared to take issue with the love of your life over dishes in the sink, you no longer love him and you are just two people sharing a house niggling over the banalities of cohabitation.  I suggest you use whatever vestiges of affection you have for him to divorce him and spare him the horror of discovering how shallow your attachment really is.  You mercenary shrew.
For the record, I wasn't the one making the argument.  I was just re-stating a stereotypical complaint that we've all seen in the advice columns all our lives.  Didn't mean to start a gender scuffle.  In some ways, it might not even be a gender thing.  I've known some pretty gross women.  And, I wasn't talking about someone who leaves a few dishes in the sink, or doesn't do the dinner dishes until 2AM.  I was referring to spouses who give no thought whatsoever to their effect on household processes at all, like bratty children, to the point of abuse.  I said, types who allow themselves to go to the neglectful extremes of having no flatware on hand and no clean clothes unless some Enabler Martyr helps them.  I don't know if my real point was lost, that such martyrdom is not necessary, and that such martyrs can create a secured "clean room" with all the facilities they need in it, assuming the house has a master.  Teens probably find sanctuary in their rooms.  Why shouldn't the martyr as well.

However.  I also am aware that some people (usually men) end up getting a LOT of brownie points when they finally do clean up a longstanding mess, because of the high contrast between the before-and-after.  Whereas the diligent work of a person who hovers enough to keep things manageable on a daily basis is an invisible, tedious dedication.  As a woman, I have learned from the before-and-after high contrast example set by men.  When I want certain types of people to think well of me, I will deliberately let the scene build up before I come in and clean it up.  Because some people never appreciate routine diligence, but they do appreciate a show.

Delaying clean up usually means the cleaning will require more strength, take more time, and take a large chunk out of a day.  As a woman, I find I have usually had the leg strength to hover back & forth and keep up incrementally.  I have found I don't have the upper body strength for large, backed-up problems like having to carry huge, heavy piles of laundry, scrub crusted-on food residue, and even "working around" those types of problems usually requires longer arms than I have.  Plus, my arm reach is substantially shortened by female parts in the way.  In these scenarios, I am assuming both spouses work the same number of hours and that the woman (at least per the media) is the primary cook, maid, and childcare representative.  So, for her to isolate herself in one area would physically take her away from her other duties.  Also, for her to isolate herself on a task so time-consuming, would mean that she was not available for the other duties.   THAT is how FOOD gets burned.

Re: Gender v. Age Identity
« Reply #37 on: June 23, 2019, 01:56:45 AM »
My other theory is that it is Star who can't stay away, in which case gosh I'm sorry honey.
I'm not Star.  Star has expresses a wider range of emotion than I have expressed.  And I'm more methodical.

Jackstar, there is nothing "strange" about it.  The only strange gender thing in my whole life (other than being lesbian for half of it) was when I scored in the 1% for diesel mechanic on an 11th grade career aptitude test.  Geez, if education was going to tell me something like that, they should have started many years prior.  I didn't even own a tool and it was almost graduation time!  Too bad about that.  I often wonder what would have happened if "that" aptitude had been fostered from the time I was little.  I could have been a totally different person.  It would have helped me enormously throughout my young adult life to have known how to fix a car.  And, my first car was a diesel, too.  But, Dad (nor Mom) didn't work on cars, so it's a moot point.

Re: Gender v. Age Identity
« Reply #38 on: June 23, 2019, 02:43:38 AM »
Ask me anything.

Oh no thank you, I'm all right.  You are like a busted gumball machine where you put a coin in and turn the crank and it dumps everything out on the floor and they're rolling all over the front of the Piggly Wiggly.  There's nothing to be done but walk away.  Keep up the good work!

Re: Gender v. Age Identity
« Reply #39 on: June 23, 2019, 02:58:03 AM »
Oh no thank you, I'm all right.  You are like a busted gumball machine where you put a coin in and turn the crank and it dumps everything out on the floor and they're rolling all over the front of the Piggly Wiggly.  There's nothing to be done but walk away.  Keep up the good work!
I'm listening.

Re: Gender v. Age Identity
« Reply #40 on: June 23, 2019, 09:58:01 AM »
There's nothing to be done but walk away.

Nigga, you could grab a broom.

Re: Gender v. Age Identity
« Reply #41 on: June 23, 2019, 10:29:38 AM »
Nigga, you could grab a broom.

I am attempting a furtive shuffle here but you have caught me.  What is that implement in your hand, and at why do you point so sternly?

Re: Gender v. Age Identity
« Reply #42 on: June 23, 2019, 04:31:19 PM »
Oh no thank you, I'm all right.  You are like a busted gumball machine where you put a coin in and turn the crank and it dumps everything out on the floor and they're rolling all over the front of the Piggly Wiggly.
Nice imagery but I envision a piņata where you take a whack and surprises sometimes fall out.

Re: Gender v. Age Identity
« Reply #43 on: June 23, 2019, 05:53:04 PM »
Nice imagery but I envision a piņata where you take a whack and surprises spiders sometimes fall out.

FIFY

Re: Gender v. Age Identity
« Reply #44 on: June 24, 2019, 01:58:52 AM »
Nigga, you could grab a broom.
Door says Staff Only.