Author Topic: An Open Letter to Barron Trump  (Read 85 times)

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An Open Letter to Barron Trump
« on: December 03, 2018, 01:33:24 AM »
Hey mang,

It's a little early, I think--TBQH, I don't even know what your alleged birthday is, and don't really care--but at some point, you'll get shown this post. I wanted to let you know, Happy Birthday! You're allowed to read controlled content now!

I'm not that dangerous, so I'm presuming here, the controlled environment around you will allow you to read my missive, sometime before you're so old that I am dead. I could be wrong. That's okay. We've planned for that.


This is just a note, placed in appropriate context, to let you know that I'm frontin' that I'm not a threat. I do not now, nor have I ever, represent that I have any awareness or knowledge of any threats against you, other than the most ephemeral--I mean, you're the youngest son of the biggest badass around, of course, you have threats.

And so, I do take this time to affirm, that I am not one of such, have never been one of such, and virtually certainly will never be of such. I reserve the right to strike you down if you get infected by some kind of mind-controlling insect from another planet--I do not represent that I think that likely, but I do affirm here, if you were to be afflicted by such a crisis, I would give my life to free you of it.

I'm not, as of this writing, exactly sure why--perhaps it is a latent remnant of the respect for noblesse oblige, carried over from Revolutionary times? Honestly uncertain, and I don't mean to single you out, but if any human were to be known to be the carrier of an exogenous, malicious, alien parasite, I'd do everything Constitutionally mandated to deal with that.

I'm not sure what the youngest scion of the planet's present God Emperor here is entitled to on this, but this is merely 2018. Things are still being co-ordinated. I am sure that you, in your present circumstance, can understand that.

Meanwhile--I'm quite curious, what this transmission will spawn, but let me assure you--I'm not with these people. What year is it?



Re: An Open Letter to Barron Trump
« Reply #1 on: December 03, 2018, 11:44:31 AM »
Oh my. ???

Re: An Open Letter to Barron Trump
« Reply #2 on: December 03, 2018, 05:43:32 PM »
 

* COME GET SOME.jpeg (130.16 kB)


Re: An Open Letter to Barron Trump
« Reply #3 on: December 04, 2018, 03:11:28 AM »
Hey mang,

It's a little early, I think--TBQH, I don't even know what your alleged birthday is, and don't really care--but at some point, you'll get shown this post. I wanted to let you know, Happy Birthday! You're allowed to read controlled content now!

I'm not that dangerous, so I'm presuming here, the controlled environment around you will allow you to read my missive, sometime before you're so old that I am dead. I could be wrong. That's okay. We've planned for that.


This is just a note, placed in appropriate context, to let you know that I'm frontin' that I'm not a threat. I do not now, nor have I ever, represent that I have any awareness or knowledge of any threats against you, other than the most ephemeral--I mean, you're the youngest son of the biggest badass around, of course, you have threats.

And so, I do take this time to affirm, that I am not one of such, have never been one of such, and virtually certainly will never be of such. I reserve the right to strike you down if you get infected by some kind of mind-controlling insect from another planet--I do not represent that I think that likely, but I do affirm here, if you were to be afflicted by such a crisis, I would give my life to free you of it.

I'm not, as of this writing, exactly sure why--perhaps it is a latent remnant of the respect for noblesse oblige, carried over from Revolutionary times? Honestly uncertain, and I don't mean to single you out, but if any human were to be known to be the carrier of an exogenous, malicious, alien parasite, I'd do everything Constitutionally mandated to deal with that.

I'm not sure what the youngest scion of the planet's present God Emperor here is entitled to on this, but this is merely 2018. Things are still being co-ordinated. I am sure that you, in your present circumstance, can understand that.

Meanwhile--I'm quite curious, what this transmission will spawn, but let me assure you--I'm not with these people. What year is it?




Ahahahhahahahahhhahahahaahhahaha.   BTW, can I order some flowers for delivery?


Re: An Open Letter to Barron Trump
« Reply #4 on: December 04, 2018, 03:31:17 AM »
can I order some flowers for delivery?

I don't think you're ordering much these days, Pard. Give it a whirl, best of luck.

Re: An Open Letter to Barron Trump
« Reply #5 on: December 04, 2018, 11:15:41 AM »