The Long Reach of Noory the Moron

[chinadarkness]

The Coast to Coast programme has been beloved by many of us here in the People's Republic of China.  As a Professor of Language Arts at a small university I am privileged to teach China's brightest young minds.  Day after day we converse in English, Spanish, French, German, Russian, Japanese.  My department concentrates on English and Spanish.

We use Coast to Coast as a teaching tool and it had long been a staple for my students.  Then one day it happened ... Art Bell (beloved and revered talk show host, icon) went into a semi-retirement state and appointed his successor (Dear God say it isn't true) George Noory.

At first we thought, 'okay, give this bloke a shot, a chance, and see what happens.  After all, nobody lives forever (may Art live forever) and we bore that characteristically open mind of the Chinese people.

No way in Hell!  George Noory has succeeded in making a mockery of the entire programme.  He has introduced his cute little characters such as this mad professor, someone claiming to be Jesus, and a host of 'scripted' characters and bits.

Art never screened or orchestrated calls, he sat there like a trooper and did the 'dangerous, spontaneous, and imaginative' thing by taking calls directly to the air.  Art could take even a bad call and make it worthy of listening to.  George Noory can't even read from the paper.

George Noory, please, do us all a favour and retire now!  Your grammar is in sad need of reconstruction.  Your speech is not clear and you seem to slip in and out of your midwest accent.  Where are you really from?  You make a mockery of some callers and treat subjects and guests with a snide almost sarcastic attitude which keeps the best of the best from wanting to have anything to do with you.  You are NOT Art Bell.  You will NEVER BE Art Bell.  You will never even stand in the Shadow of Art Bell.  You are a poorly educated, ill spoken, conceited moron!  How you got this spot can only be explained by a conspiracy to torpedo the life work of Art Bell.

For your work in carefully dismantling and smashing the flaming remains of the Coast to Coast programme we curse you.  The Chinese are difficult to anger or disappoint.  It is in our nature to forgive again and again and again.  For you this forgiveness has had to happen day after day, night after night, week after week.  Well, as you Americans say, "All good things must come to an end."  In your case we pray that your 'good thing' will soon do so.

[EvB]

Chinadarkness,

WELCOME!  And thank you for your wonderful post.

My son spent the summer of 2001 working as a teacher's aide at a total immersion English language school in Zhuhai, and used film to help teach North American conversation style and idioms.  It sounds as if you used Coast to Coast in a similar way. Have you found something to replace Coast to Coast?  There must be something!

Please post often.

[Nighthawkmyass]

My thought in reading this is that mr. Noory will single handly make the Chinese army take over this once great land. They will only gain a deep hatred and distrust of the American people based on their exposure to the utterly moronic JISM SATCHEL

[chinadarkness]

In China we have discovered "Art Bell 24/7" and we are using it to great effect.  I only recently discovered this page and have similar sentiments.  This George Noory fellow makes me so angry I could almost (almost) forgive Bill Gates in order that I might better utilise my short-coming of hatred and disrespect.  This man, Noory, has single handedly assassinated and buried a once great programme.  There can be no doubt that the venerable Art Bell has got to be unhappy about this but, being the gentleman that he is, will probably never publicly decry this moronic sycophant cum axe-murderer of what was once the greatest evening radio talk show in the world.

I wax verbose, and as far as your child having taught in China, this is excellent as we are always in need of qualified foreigners (native English speakers, ala: US, UK, Canada, or Australia) to help our people grow in the international language of English.

People here love America, and Americans (politics not withstanding) and American foreigners especially are given 'red carpet' treatment.  My hat off to a once great nation ... a still great people.  Your country may well have fallen into the abyss, led astray by the lies and deceit of an evil and deceitful government, but the people of the United States of America remain a fine, noble, and generous people ... if not ignorant of their own circumstance.

Do the world a favour: Deport George Noory.   

[EvB]

People here love America, and Americans (politics not withstanding) and American foreigners especially are given 'red carpet' treatment.  My hat off to a once great nation ... a still great people.  Your country may well have fallen into the abyss, led astray by the lies and deceit of an evil and deceitful government, but the people of the United States of America remain a fine, noble, and generous people ... if not ignorant of their own circumstance.

Great comment - and right on the mark.   Jared had a wonderful time, and yes - we Americans are dealing with our changing place in the world.

BTW - I'm glad you like the avatar I was using.  I didn't intend to use it long here and am switching back.  So, now YOU are the blood-soaked head-banger!   

[EvB]

I've been thinking about this comment:

Do the world a favour: Deport George Noory.   

The trouble is - the world is a smaller and smaller place.  He got to you in China; where could we send him that was safe?

How about to live in that "head" on Mars that Hoagland is always gong on about?

[MV/Liberace!]

chinadarkness... thank you for that brilliant post.  you are an excellent example of the type of people this message board tends to attract.

i hope you'll post regularly.  it would surely be a pleasure to read.

[Pirate King Atomsk]

Welcome to our growing community, chinadarkness! My ex-girlfriend is currently in China as well. She is learning Chinese and teaching English simultaneously, and she is having a very good time. I'm very glad to see that people everywhere realize the disgrace that Noory has brought to Coast to Coast AM.

That being said, I hope you will enjoy it here on the forums! 

[Boomer]

People here love America, and Americans (politics not withstanding) and American foreigners especially are given 'red carpet' treatment.  My hat off to a once great nation ... a still great people.  Your country may well have fallen into the abyss, led astray by the lies and deceit of an evil and deceitful government, but the people of the United States of America remain a fine, noble, and generous people ... if not ignorant of their own circumstance.

Well said! If the Truth were known the people all over this Planet have great respect for one another. It's the damn governments, the leaders and the news media that create the problems for all of us.

Do the world a favour: Deport George Noory.   

Thats a Tall Order. We know where his family origens lie but they won't take him back, something about his corrupted gene pool. The only alternatives at this point is to put him on a rocket to the Planet Nibiru when it enters the solar system, or to put him into one of these interdimensional portals with a one way ticket. He's like a virus, you can cover up the symptoms but you can't rid of it.

[chinadarkness]

Yes, I really like the avatar and thank you so much for allowing its use.  If this is an issue please let me know and it will be changed immediately.  Now, about George Noory: One of my students proposed that he might be a government 'disinformation' agent placed in the ideal place to destroy the only credible media outlet for sensitive information.

However, on reflection, it might not be so.  George Noory is far too iliterate, ignorant, and self-centred to be of any use to the government ... unless the government is even more stupid than he is.  (This might explain a lot of what is going on over there right now ... hmmm)

Well, I have assigned teams to debate the efficacy of George Noory as a disinformation agent and will post the results on this forum.  Here lay the question:  That George Noory is an agent for disinformation.  The team in the affirmative must prove this to at least reasonable suspicion.  The team in the negative must prove to at least reasonable suspicion that George Noory is not.

One topic that cannot be debated:  The guy is a colossal moron!

[EvB]

Yes, I really like the avatar and thank you so much for allowing its use.  If this is an issue please let me know and it will be changed immediately.

Not at all!  I got it at a some free avatar site myself.  It's public domain. 

We're  still just small enough that we've never had more than one person using the same avatar before.  I look for people by image, not name.

You just reminded me to go back the the avatar I had intended to use anyway.

[EvB]

One topic that cannot be debated:  The guy is a colossal moron!

Well, it CAN be     but one would be hard-pressed to convince most people here.

[11angeleyes11]

Yes, I really like the avatar and thank you so much for allowing its use.  If this is an issue please let me know and it will be changed immediately.  Now, about George Noory: One of my students proposed that he might be a government 'disinformation' agent placed in the ideal place to destroy the only credible media outlet for sensitive information.

However, on reflection, it might not be so.  George Noory is far too iliterate, ignorant, and self-centred to be of any use to the government ... unless the government is even more stupid than he is.  (This might explain a lot of what is going on over there right now ... hmmm)

Well, I have assigned teams to debate the efficacy of George Noory as a disinformation agent and will post the results on this forum.  Here lay the question:  That George Noory is an agent for disinformation.  The team in the affirmative must prove this to at least reasonable suspicion.  The team in the negative must prove to at least reasonable suspicion that George Noory is not.

One topic that cannot be debated:  The guy is a colossal moron!

A point well spoken.  He himself, the  Great Smoron has admitted it on the air that he is a moron.  The side that can obtain that clip should win the debate in my opinoin.  A truthful confession should be very powerful. 

[chinadarkness]

Hi, it's me again.  Well, we have officially broken all ties with that horrible little programme called "Coast to Coast AM" because of a multitude of 'sins' comitted on a regular and flagrant basis.  It has also caused us to cast a sideways glance at some of the guests who appear on his programme.  Call this 'guilt by association' if you will, but the fact is that he is such a flagrant moron and disinformer that anyone who presented a reputable source of information would steer clear of this programme now.

We are forced to primarily rely on the repeat broadcasts of Art Bell on the Art Bell 24/7 source and from a large library of his interviews which have been recorded over the years.  We have recently begun to explore other programmes but must realise that there may be good programmes available, but to compare them to Art Bell is just mad.

When Art Bell does an interview, it's poetry in motion.  This man posesses a talent which is quite uncommon and allows him to bring out the very best in anyone.  He coould interview a wooden chair and make it interesting.  Our group (a club in the university) has disavowed:

Linda Moulton Howe.  Just listen to some of this fluff she spews on the air.  She is like a high school student trying to get that assigned essay up to the required number of words.  The stories take forever to tell you absolutely nothing.  Sad, at least she appeared reputable in the skilful hands of Art Bell.  I guess it took a moron like Noory to make us look more closely at the attributes of the guest.

Doctor Hoagland.  Again, sad is the only word that fits this poor man.  His information is all old news.  He serves only to repeat what was said a long time ago in some distant and barely memorable interview with the great Art Bell.

Summary: Were the Coast to Coast AM programme billed as 'a fantastic and farcical romp through the realms of fiction and imagination' it would still fall short of the mark as a source of entertainment.  Okay, I feel better now. 

[PhantasticSanShiSan]

For Moulton-Howe,  I just can't really deal with, or get into, the whole "canned interview" thing.  Hoagland has, for the most part to me at least, always come across as an off-kilter huckster.

Art used to make it seem like (aside from any "open lines" segments) he and his guest were the only two people on earth - it was mood or a vibe.  2 people, 1 pack of smokes, one bottle of JD, sitting at a cosmic picnic bench, talkin' about "shit".  "Weird shit", a lot of times.  It was cool.  Back when I'd listen live every night, if it wasn't for his classic bumper music, commercial breaks would have become totally unbearable eternities.

[Centurion73]

Doctor Hoagland

If he were a Dr. he would be sure to be a Proctologist as he is such an asshole & full of shit.

[EvB]

For Moulton-Howe,  I just can't really deal with, or get into, the whole "canned interview" thing.

Isn't she the one were were calling "Mouldy-Cow" not so long ago?  I don't care for her either.  She has a way of presenting questions and not answering them (which is fine) but it's the WAY she does it.  She coud make toilet paper sound parnormal.

[PhantasticSanShiSan]

Isn't she the one were were calling "Mouldy-Cow" not so long ago?  I don't care for her either.  She has a way of presenting questions and not answering them (which is fine) but it's the WAY she does it.  She coud make toilet paper sound parnormal.

Yeah. Like Zhōng gu? hēi ?n says, she used to have a certain type of integrity on the show when her interview style was showcased by Art.  However, I don't enjoy the format they are presented in currently, and too much of that voice in long spurts can make the paint start to curl off the walls.

[Pirate King Atomsk]

Isn't she the one were were calling "Mouldy-Cow" not so long ago?  I don't care for her either.  She has a way of presenting questions and not answering them (which is fine) but it's the WAY she does it.  She coud make toilet paper sound parnormal.

This is her with some guy named Jerry Pippin.



And this is what I see when I see her:

[EvB]

Yeah. Like Zhōng gu? hēi ?n says

There goes Phan again - showing off what a cunning linguist he is.

[chinadarkness]

I have a solution here.  What we need is either someone to replace this imbicile before he completely and eternally buggers what remains of a once great talk show, or we need a new show.

There are a number of good people out there to choose from and they DON'T include this self righteous 'seminarian' Ian Punnet.  I can't really tell which is worse, Ian or George.

I've got it.  Let's Keanu Reeves to reprise his 'Bill & Ted' role and do the show.  It would be far more entertaining and infinitely more credible.  Then we can get this Doctor Greer (of The Disclosure Project infamy) to be the producer and possibly co-host the programme as well.  Their legal consultant and truth filter could be William Jefferson Clinton, a paragon of truth and dignity.  We need a technical expert, except he was shot to death a couple weeks ago after a biting incident in Connecticut in the United States.  Let's not forget to get 'General A' online and he can be the military/scientific intelligence correspondent.  Let's keep Linda Moulton Howe in our 'Fantastic if it only contained even a gram of fact' segment to be aired in the closing few seconds of each show.

Well, I'm out of ideas.

[PhantasticSanShiSan]

Marv Albert died? 

[Boomer]

truth filter could be William Jefferson Clinton, a paragon of truth and dignity.

Yeah! The only man to waltz around the Oval Office with his pants down around his ankles lookin for his next BJ...lol

[PhantasticSanShiSan]

Yeah! The only man to waltz around the Oval Office with his pants down around his ankles lookin for his next BJ...lol

You mean the only one to do it with a real dumper he couldn't have whacked later with the CIAs help.

[chinadarkness]

Hello again all,

Well, we held our 'Great Debate' among our Sophomore Class and the results were fantastic!  My students took this subject to heart and their research went far deeper and covered a wider scope than I could have anticipated.

The debate went for 90 minutes in classic Oxford Format with Audience Question and Answer at the finish.  In this debate our two teams squared off with fierce resolution and loaded with fact, fact, and more fact.

There were several times during the debate when either team would garner a standing ovation from the crowd of nearly 400 who came to see the debate.  At the end it was as follows:

Pro: Those who believe that George Noory is a complete moron and absolutely unfit for the current post, having caused irreparable damage to the reputation of the Coast to Coast programme.

Con: Those who challenge this belief and simply state that George Noory has not done as accused.

Result:  Pro: 97 Points
             Con: 29 Points

The reasons were myriad and the Pro side used a mixture of powerpoint, video replay, and audio clips to secure their argument.  They dipped back to the days when Noory was but a speck on the wall of the Coast to Coast programme and was 'getting his chance' and being tested by the Great Art Bell.  They carried the timeline all the way to today.

Needless to say, I was completely blown away and didn't know what to think other than to say that the Pro side successfully indicted, convicted, and recommended sentence in a flawless debate armed with enough ammunition to beat the entire middle east in a week!

Our Con team did their level best and managed to demonstrate that George Noory is not a bad man, and is probably not a part of any greater conspiracy to destroy the show.  Our conclusion is that he is simply a very stupid man and simply incapable of conducting an intelligent interview.

There you have it.

[EvB]

Oh - chinadarkness - that is the most WONDERFUL post EVER!

I hope George gets a chance to read it, or more importantly, the suits that back him up.

Ev

[PhantasticSanShiSan]

That is so crazy and very cool that an actual official debate happened concerning this.  ChinaDarkness......

[Centurion73]

I hope George gets a chance to read it,
Ev

Ev, you in that Vodka frosting again? George and read in the same sentence what were you thinking  .

[EvB]

Ev, you in that Vodka frosting again? George and read in the same sentence what were you thinking  .

lord only knows.

[PhantasticSanShiSan]

Ev, you in that Vodka frosting again? George and read in the same sentence what were you thinking  .

vodka frosting. hehehe.