Author Topic: Where was your worst public bathroom experience?  (Read 1671 times)

0 Members and 1 Guest are viewing this topic.

Re: Where was your worst public bathroom experience?
« Reply #30 on: February 25, 2018, 06:40:56 AM »
Where was your worst public bathroom experience?

It was when I worked at a Texaco Gas Station in the 70's. A female taxi driver begged me to open the ladies room. I said no because the station was closed (it was). I relented though after more begging. After she left, I went inside to check before I locked it up, and there, strewn on the floor, was a bloody pad.

I had to clean it up. I couldn't leave it for the morning shift to do.

But that hardened me. I resigned to never again open the restroom after hours for the public.

Re: Where was your worst public bathroom experience?
« Reply #31 on: February 25, 2018, 07:01:23 AM »
Where was your worst public bathroom experience?

It was when I worked at a Texaco Gas Station in the 70's. A female taxi driver begged me to open the ladies room. I said no because the station was closed (it was). I relented though after more begging. After she left, I went inside to check before I locked it up, and there, strewn on the floor, was a bloody pad.

I had to clean it up. I couldn't leave it for the morning shift to do.

But that hardened me. I resigned to never again open the restroom after hours for the public.

worst?

they found the camera.  ;)

Re: Where was your worst public bathroom experience?
« Reply #32 on: February 25, 2018, 10:08:46 AM »
More comical that bad, but....

In the late 90s/early 2000s when cell phones were not yet common, I was in a stall at O'Hare  Airport.  A guy came into the stall next to mine and within several seconds said, "Hi, how you doing."  I thought that was a bit odd, but since I didn't want to appear to be a jerk,  I said, "Doing Ok, how about you?"  He then said, "I hate these late week trips, throws off my schedule."  So I said something like "Yeah, I'm on my way home at least." He then asked "What you doing this weekend?" I replied, ""God knows what the wife has planned."  He then said, "Hey, I gotta go, this guy in the next stall keeps talking to me."

I waited for at least five minutes after he left before I destalled and headed to my gate.

Re: Where was your worst public bathroom experience?
« Reply #33 on: February 25, 2018, 10:09:54 AM »
More comical that bad, but....

In the late 90s/early 2000s when cell phones were not yet common, I was in a stall at O'Hare  Airport.  A guy came into the stall next to mine and within several seconds said, "Hi, how you doing."  I thought that was a bit odd, but since I didn't want to appear to be a jerk,  I said, "Doing Ok, how about you?"  He then said, "I hate these late week trips, throws off my schedule."  So I said something like "Yeah, I'm on my way home at least." He then asked "What you doing this weekend?" I replied, ""God knows what the wife has planned."  He then said, "Hey, I gotta go, this guy in the next stall keeps talking to me."

I waited for at least five minutes after he left before I destalled and headed to my gate.

I have been on Bellgab too long.

Re: Where was your worst public bathroom experience?
« Reply #34 on: February 25, 2018, 10:25:07 AM »
I have been on Bellgab too long.

You say that after a number of us lobbied MV to let you back here over the years?  That's gratitude for you.

Re: Where was your worst public bathroom experience?
« Reply #35 on: February 25, 2018, 10:56:21 AM »
More comical that bad, but....

In the late 90s/early 2000s when cell phones were not yet common, I was in a stall at O'Hare  Airport.  A guy came into the stall next to mine and within several seconds said, "Hi, how you doing."  I thought that was a bit odd, but since I didn't want to appear to be a jerk,  I said, "Doing Ok, how about you?"  He then said, "I hate these late week trips, throws off my schedule."  So I said something like "Yeah, I'm on my way home at least." He then asked "What you doing this weekend?" I replied, ""God knows what the wife has planned."  He then said, "Hey, I gotta go, this guy in the next stall keeps talking to me."

I waited for at least five minutes after he left before I destalled and headed to my gate.

There outta be a law Duke.  There outta be a law.

Just this past week, I was in the Men's Room at work taking care of some business in Stall #2.  Things were going great,
all systems were nominal when suddenly some dude enters Stall #1 [which right there tells you that he's an outsider-
we are all convinced that Stall #1 is a Portal to Hell but that's a different tale].  Mr. Stall #1 guy has his cell and he's
participating on some high powered call via speaker.  I'm hearing him, I'm hearing the others on the call, the others
on the call are hearing him speak.  Which means.......  They'll hear me.     

Hence the dilemma - I'm done and ready to move on with life.   So - do I flush and expose the guy for talking
to others from the Head,  do I bolt without flushing or do I wait?  I decide I can't just bolt and leave a bowl full of ick
for the next guy [there is enough of that going on as it is] so that's out.   I wait for a few but there's no sign of any progress
from next door, so in the end i decide "You made your bed buddy - you gotta lie in it now"  and flush.   As I am washing up
I can hear the audience on the call laughing at the guy in Stall #1. 



Re: Where was your worst public bathroom experience?
« Reply #36 on: February 25, 2018, 11:07:11 AM »

No question. Overnight train from Beijing (we dubbed it "the rock n squat").  By the morning, the Horror ... the Horror ...  I'm still traumatized

Re: Where was your worst public bathroom experience?
« Reply #37 on: February 25, 2018, 03:45:43 PM »
My job was to carry trays of food up and down stairs.  One day, it was unexpectedly busy.  After five hours, I still could not take a break without getting in trouble.  I should have thought of hiding in the basement bathroom for a break before my situation was so dire.  Anyhow, things got dire so I hid in the basement bathroom for ten minutes and layed down on the yucky floor and put my feet up on the wall. 

Re: Where was your worst public bathroom experience?
« Reply #38 on: February 25, 2018, 04:16:13 PM »
Let's hear it, members and moderators.
A couple of diarrhea tours of mine are about tied for my worst.

I just realized they both started in the vicinity of, or on, Roosevelt Is.

Re: Where was your worst public bathroom experience?
« Reply #39 on: February 26, 2018, 05:00:13 AM »

Re: Where was your worst public bathroom experience?
« Reply #40 on: February 26, 2018, 01:20:41 PM »
While walking some remote trails along the Trinity River in July, I suddenly had to do #2.

I came upon this Port-a-Poddy there for trail users.

The stench of that pretty full Port-a-poddy on that hot July day was gross.

All those other people's #2s putting up that smell that was probably a bio-hazard!!

Re: Where was your worst public bathroom experience?
« Reply #41 on: February 26, 2018, 01:29:29 PM »
The public bathroom near the Old Plaza in Albuquerque was the nastiest I've seen. Upon opening door I gagged and my green chili enchiladas were tasted another time. Whatever homeless, drunk Native Americans eat results in nastiness. The outhouse in Boquillas, Mexico (the small town across the river in Big Bend) was also "interesting" but not as smelly because it is perched on a hillside and the crap just piles up several feet below which results in an impressive pile of shit. It might be better now as I hear they have electricity (via solar power panels) and even a single telephone line now.

Re: Where was your worst public bathroom experience?
« Reply #42 on: February 26, 2018, 01:45:08 PM »
Does semi-public aka the workplace count or is just limited to rest stops and the like?

The Big Chicken has some tales from his gig that exceed the boundaries of belief and are considered crimes against nature.

Re: Where was your worst public bathroom experience?
« Reply #43 on: February 26, 2018, 01:46:00 PM »
Did they involve a wide stance?  And more than two hands?

Re: Where was your worst public bathroom experience?
« Reply #44 on: February 26, 2018, 01:48:04 PM »
Ibby, it is a game of twenty questions?

...

This simply awful English diplomat had "corn[i]walled[/i]holed" me at a table in a beer gas=garten, what luck!

Whould/shall I continue with the fable?

...

Re: Where was your worst public bathroom experience?
« Reply #45 on: February 27, 2018, 12:14:53 PM »
This is a long one, but I enjoyed remembering some of the events that our family had together. If Dad was with us, most of them involved roadtrips, some of them very long. This one involves a very strange public washroom.

I was probably 14-15 years old with Mom, Dad, and my Brother travelling from the Northland down to Texas in the family 1989 Buick Estate Wagon with a carbed 307 Olds 307 under the hood.  This the last of the big squarebodies station wagons, and the last Carbed engine GM put out.  She had a lot of window acreage, all of it had a deeep dark window tint, including the rear door/tailgate, that either opened like a car door from the passenger side and is hinged at the Drivers  side of the rear door, or if you had the rear window "rolled down" using the driver controlled Rear Window switch, you could open it like the tailgate of a pickup truck, top to bottom. 
All closed

Open like a tailgate(noticehowth "bed/floor" an be crated by folding all teh seats down. Instant HURSE!

OPEN, like car door, snipers nest seat ready for 2 people.




It had the 2 power seats in the front with the place you could sit a 3rd in the front, if you had to, the next row where you could, sit 3 wide, and then the very back-back seat that faced backwards where 2 could sit facing backwards towards the traffic behind you.  Perfect for covert snip attacks on rearward targets, or perfect for Amy Bell your Grade 5 girlfriend to let you look down her pants.  Like a gentleman, I had to reciprocate, and No, she wouldnt go for the "SpitHug".  All of this occurring as my Mom and Mrs Bell gab(casting) away to each other WAY up front.  As you can tell, I hope< I wasnt 14 or 15 years old in Grade 5, my grade 5 fumblings in the snipers seat, were in the same style wagon that was replaced by the 1989 Buick Estate Wagon.  It was far more mundane, but did seat 8 as well, like the newer and fully loaded 1989 Buick Estate Wagon.
Here is the "snipers Nest" wrong interior though



the 1989 Buick was a fully loaded beast, it was dark blue with the fake wood side panels, limo tint windows and stock OEM aluminum Buick wheels. My Dad was proud of that car as he made out like a bandit on that car. Dad was a mechanic who straightened car/truck frames in the garage he built with his own hands, on the acre lot he and Mom bought and built their simple 1600 sq foot bungalow back in 1971 for $17,500.  The property is worth 25 times that nowadays, my Dad was always taking a small investment, thinking about the long term, and making it work for him and our family. His forte was automobiles. He got the 1989 Buick Estate wagon for $2000 with about 15,000kms on it. It was in a collision where it left the road, hit a tree and there was a small fire. Dad brought the car in his garage onto his frame rack, stripped off the injured body panels, heated the frame, pulled the frame straight using his numerous hydraulics and replaced the injured body panels with new GM sheetmetal.  Though he was licensed to do body work, he hated it, so he got his buddies to to the bodywork and paint. From the outside, the car looked brand new, but inside there was some remnants from the fire. He was able to locally source most of the interior components, but a complete headliner for this car was almost as much as he paid for the car in the first place. This was the perfect opportunity for Dad to schedule a "family trip" in search of a new headliner for the Buick. After a few phone calls a place called "White Auto Wreckers" in Texas had brought in a Buick Estate Wagon with the dark blue interior that Dad was seeking.   A road trip for the S-alphabet-horn family was scheduled and off to Texas we went. We left after Mom was done work and we hit the border at about 11pm.  My Mom and Brother were sleeping in the back on a large foam mattress that fit perfectly in the back when the 2nd and 3rd row of seating was folded down.  The border guard asked for my and Dads citizenship, Dad said "Canadian" I was leaned over looking at the guard and he asked "And what country are you from?"  I said "Canada", then he asked, "How many people in the car?" Dad answered "4, my Wife and Son are sleeping in the back>"  The guard told my Dad to wake up Mom and Allen, so he did so. Then the guard told my Dad to roll down the back window, so he did. The guard shifted so he could see in the back and my Mom said "Canadian" and my Brother said, "Canadian".  The guard shifted back to the front window asked "What is the purpose of your visit to the USA?" Dad replied "Vacation to Texas, I'm taking the family to Dallas." The guard asked "How long will you be staying?"  Dad said "No more than a week."  The guard said "Enjoy your stay in the US," and he waved us forward. And away we went. Needless to say, crossing the border is a LOT different nowadays.

Here is a 1986 "Electra". look how the woodgrain and stock alloy rims set the car off.
WITH-Window Tint


NON-Tinted


The tint made the car.
Then GM went to the "round bodies", where GM pussied out and became worried about things like efficiency and fuel economy and aerodynamics(sarc).  But the newer roundbody B-bodies didnt look nice IMO.


The only thing that was nice about the new GM round body B-bodies was the 1994-1996 Impala SS

Simply beautiful, looks like there is some steamrollers on the back of this one. In 1994, you could get an Impalla SS in ANY colour, so long as it was BLACK.

Any who, we are down in the South, Tennessee, and we stop for supper at a buffet restaurant on the side of the road. The sign said "all you can eat Catfish and Roast Beef". We walk in and are greeted and the woman walks us by the buffet.  On the left there is catfish piled like cordwood, mouths towards us, with not a whisker missing.  Then to the right this guy brings out this big assed roast with nary a slice off of it.  I could tell that my Dad was getting gastrointestinally(sexually)  aroused as he couldnt stop staring at the freaking roast.  You see my Dad passed away at the age of 69, I'm pretty sure that during each of those 69 years, that at any time, if he fell down and broke a bone, beef gravy would be staining the sidewalk and not blood.  I'll put my Dads love of thermally denatured beef protein another way, I once saw the results from his every 3 month blood report for our family doctor.  His cholesterol numbers came back as "Prime Rib-medium rare".

OK, I think you get the idea here, it wasn't an accident that we just happened upon this place.  I'm pretty sure that Dad had timed this entire leg of the trip to Tehas, so that we would roll into this place exactly at supper time.
We are seated and the guy that brought out the roast reappeared, he was wearing a white chefs outfit with the tall white hat. He lifted the roast up out of the its place under the heating lamps and placed it on the cutting board under another set of heating lamps. He puts down the big fork and picks up his big knife and the steel and he begins to sharpen the knife, but is doing so directly over the roast.  I guess he figured that we needed some extra iron with our roast beef.  He noticed that my Dad and I were watching and he began to show off a bit and he started to sharpen his knife with an impressive rapidity. The entire time, his steel and his knife are directly above the roast.  Then "BANG"  the guy hits the big assed heat lamp with his knife and the shards of glass and other heatlamp internals join the steel filings atop this big assed chunk of roast beef.  Obviously embarrassed, he looks up at Dad and to see if we were still watching, which of course we were.  I could literally HEAR the disappointment exuding from my Father.  The guy in the chef's hat muttered "thank goodness we have a backup" as he wields the big roast fork again and stabs the as yet uncut, but now well "seasoned" roast beef, picks it up, puts it back into its pan, dons some oven mitts and grabs the pan and roast beef and disappears back into the kitchen.  A woman then appears and changes the bulb and begins to clean up the heatbulb shrapnel.
I took this opportunity to go to the bathroom as I had to "drop a Deuce". 

I walk over to the bathroom and open the door, what I was greeted with, was the strangest bathroom layout I had EVER seen. Standing in the door way, on the wall to my immediate left was bare, the other wall to my left had a row of urinals, the back wall was bare, the wall opposite the wall with the urinals had another row of urinals, and the wall behind the door had 2 sinks with soap and towels dispensers.
 About 10 feet directly in front of me, in the complete center of the bathroom, was a white porcelain toilet, white a roll of toilet paper on top of the bowl.  I immediately went back to our table and got my Dad and brought him to the restroom.  He went in and smiled, "let me guess, you need to use that toilet?"  I said "yes." He said "Be quick and I'll guard the door for you."
Dad left, and I went and dropped trow in front of the toilet with no privacy, it was like having a bare toilet in the middle of a parking lot, very strange.  I pinched a loaf, wiped up. Washed my hands and got outta there.  I open the door and my Dad is no where to be found.  I thought, nice one Dad, thanks for looking out for me. As I walked down the hallway, my Dad was standing there waiting for me.  I think he wanted to keep his eye on the buffet.
 After I get to my seat, the chef brings out a roast in a pan, it was a smaller roast, but it appeared to me that it was the old roast that had been cut in half, to make it appear as a "backup" roast.
Anyway, we ate our supper, my Dad got his roast beef and we continued on our way. No one died, or shit blood, so all was good.

When we arrived  at the auto wreckers in Texas, we drove the Buick back in the yard and Dad got his tools out. As my Brother and I explored the yard, my Mom read a book while my Dad swapped out the headliner and one seat in a few hours.  The interior now appeared brand new.  Dad paid the owner and away we went for Dallas.  I remember that in downtown Dallas, the buildings were so tall, that some of the streetlights were on in the middle of the day.  My family were big fans of the TV series "Dallas" and I remember the building with the glass windows and its top that looked like it was cut-off at an angle from the opening scene of the TV show.

peace
Hog

Re: Where was your worst public bathroom experience?
« Reply #46 on: February 27, 2018, 12:39:51 PM »
My dad had that car or one like it with that seat in the back facing out. Me and my brother would sit back there but i always found it awkward when we were stopped and the people in the car behind us were staring right at us!

I believe its 30 mins outside of Dallas, have you visited the real South Fork Ranch? I would love to visit it someday myself! Bathroom wise, just anytime i have to #2 and there are other people in there im always nervous that im makeing some horrible grose sound or they can here my plops...im not good with public restrooms in general, inless im alone and its damn clean!

Re: Where was your worst public bathroom experience?
« Reply #47 on: February 27, 2018, 12:46:40 PM »
This is a long one, but I enjoyed remembering some of the events that our family had together. If Dad was with us, most of them involved roadtrips, some of them very long. This one involves a very strange public washroom.

I was probably 14-15 years old with Mom, Dad, and my Brother travelling from the Northland down to Texas in the family 1989 Buick Estate Wagon with a carbed 307 Olds 307 under the hood.  This the last of the big squarebodies station wagons, and the last Carbed engine GM put out.  She had a lot of window acreage, all of it had a deeep dark window tint, including the rear door/tailgate, that either opened like a car door from the passenger side and is hinged at the Drivers  side of the rear door, or if you had the rear window "rolled down" using the driver controlled Rear Window switch, you could open it like the tailgate of a pickup truck, top to bottom. 
All closed

Open like a tailgate(noticehowth "bed/floor" an be crated by folding all teh seats down. Instant HURSE!

OPEN, like car door, snipers nest seat ready for 2 people.




It had the 2 power seats in the front with the place you could sit a 3rd in the front, if you had to, the next row where you could, sit 3 wide, and then the very back-back seat that faced backwards where 2 could sit facing backwards towards the traffic behind you.  Perfect for covert snip attacks on rearward targets, or perfect for Amy Bell your Grade 5 girlfriend to let you look down her pants.  Like a gentleman, I had to reciprocate, and No, she wouldnt go for the "SpitHug".  All of this occurring as my Mom and Mrs Bell gab(casting) away to each other WAY up front.  As you can tell, I hope< I wasnt 14 or 15 years old in Grade 5, my grade 5 fumblings in the snipers seat, were in the same style wagon that was replaced by the 1989 Buick Estate Wagon.  It was far more mundane, but did seat 8 as well, like the newer and fully loaded 1989 Buick Estate Wagon.
Here is the "snipers Nest" wrong interior though



the 1989 Buick was a fully loaded beast, it was dark blue with the fake wood side panels, limo tint windows and stock OEM aluminum Buick wheels. My Dad was proud of that car as he made out like a bandit on that car. Dad was a mechanic who straightened car/truck frames in the garage he built with his own hands, on the acre lot he and Mom bought and built their simple 1600 sq foot bungalow back in 1971 for $17,500.  The property is worth 25 times that nowadays, my Dad was always taking a small investment, thinking about the long term, and making it work for him and our family. His forte was automobiles. He got the 1989 Buick Estate wagon for $2000 with about 15,000kms on it. It was in a collision where it left the road, hit a tree and there was a small fire. Dad brought the car in his garage onto his frame rack, stripped off the injured body panels, heated the frame, pulled the frame straight using his numerous hydraulics and replaced the injured body panels with new GM sheetmetal.  Though he was licensed to do body work, he hated it, so he got his buddies to to the bodywork and paint. From the outside, the car looked brand new, but inside there was some remnants from the fire. He was able to locally source most of the interior components, but a complete headliner for this car was almost as much as he paid for the car in the first place. This was the perfect opportunity for Dad to schedule a "family trip" in search of a new headliner for the Buick. After a few phone calls a place called "White Auto Wreckers" in Texas had brought in a Buick Estate Wagon with the dark blue interior that Dad was seeking.   A road trip for the S-alphabet-horn family was scheduled and off to Texas we went. We left after Mom was done work and we hit the border at about 11pm.  My Mom and Brother were sleeping in the back on a large foam mattress that fit perfectly in the back when the 2nd and 3rd row of seating was folded down.  The border guard asked for my and Dads citizenship, Dad said "Canadian" I was leaned over looking at the guard and he asked "And what country are you from?"  I said "Canada", then he asked, "How many people in the car?" Dad answered "4, my Wife and Son are sleeping in the back>"  The guard told my Dad to wake up Mom and Allen, so he did so. Then the guard told my Dad to roll down the back window, so he did. The guard shifted so he could see in the back and my Mom said "Canadian" and my Brother said, "Canadian".  The guard shifted back to the front window asked "What is the purpose of your visit to the USA?" Dad replied "Vacation to Texas, I'm taking the family to Dallas." The guard asked "How long will you be staying?"  Dad said "No more than a week."  The guard said "Enjoy your stay in the US," and he waved us forward. And away we went. Needless to say, crossing the border is a LOT different nowadays.

Here is a 1986 "Electra". look how the woodgrain and stock alloy rims set the car off.
WITH-Window Tint


NON-Tinted


The tint made the car.
Then GM went to the "round bodies", where GM pussied out and became worried about things like efficiency and fuel economy and aerodynamics(sarc).  But the newer roundbody B-bodies didnt look nice IMO.


The only thing that was nice about the new GM round body B-bodies was the 1994-1996 Impala SS

Simply beautiful, looks like there is some steamrollers on the back of this one. In 1994, you could get an Impalla SS in ANY colour, so long as it was BLACK.

Any who, we are down in the South, Tennessee, and we stop for supper at a buffet restaurant on the side of the road. The sign said "all you can eat Catfish and Roast Beef". We walk in and are greeted and the woman walks us by the buffet.  On the left there is catfish piled like cordwood, mouths towards us, with not a whisker missing.  Then to the right this guy brings out this big assed roast with nary a slice off of it.  I could tell that my Dad was getting gastrointestinally(sexually)  aroused as he couldnt stop staring at the freaking roast.  You see my Dad passed away at the age of 69, I'm pretty sure that during each of those 69 years, that at any time, if he fell down and broke a bone, beef gravy would be staining the sidewalk and not blood.  I'll put my Dads love of thermally denatured beef protein another way, I once saw the results from his every 3 month blood report for our family doctor.  His cholesterol numbers came back as "Prime Rib-medium rare".

OK, I think you get the idea here, it wasn't an accident that we just happened upon this place.  I'm pretty sure that Dad had timed this entire leg of the trip to Tehas, so that we would roll into this place exactly at supper time.
We are seated and the guy that brought out the roast reappeared, he was wearing a white chefs outfit with the tall white hat. He lifted the roast up out of the its place under the heating lamps and placed it on the cutting board under another set of heating lamps. He puts down the big fork and picks up his big knife and the steel and he begins to sharpen the knife, but is doing so directly over the roast.  I guess he figured that we needed some extra iron with our roast beef.  He noticed that my Dad and I were watching and he began to show off a bit and he started to sharpen his knife with an impressive rapidity. The entire time, his steel and his knife are directly above the roast.  Then "BANG"  the guy hits the big assed heat lamp with his knife and the shards of glass and other heatlamp internals join the steel filings atop this big assed chunk of roast beef.  Obviously embarrassed, he looks up at Dad and to see if we were still watching, which of course we were.  I could literally HEAR the disappointment exuding from my Father.  The guy in the chef's hat muttered "thank goodness we have a backup" as he wields the big roast fork again and stabs the as yet uncut, but now well "seasoned" roast beef, picks it up, puts it back into its pan, dons some oven mitts and grabs the pan and roast beef and disappears back into the kitchen.  A woman then appears and changes the bulb and begins to clean up the heatbulb shrapnel.
I took this opportunity to go to the bathroom as I had to "drop a Deuce". 

I walk over to the bathroom and open the door, what I was greeted with, was the strangest bathroom layout I had EVER seen. Standing in the door way, on the wall to my immediate left was bare, the other wall to my left had a row of urinals, the back wall was bare, the wall opposite the wall with the urinals had another row of urinals, and the wall behind the door had 2 sinks with soap and towels dispensers.
 About 10 feet directly in front of me, in the complete center of the bathroom, was a white porcelain toilet, white a roll of toilet paper on top of the bowl.  I immediately went back to our table and got my Dad and brought him to the restroom.  He went in and smiled, "let me guess, you need to use that toilet?"  I said "yes." He said "Be quick and I'll guard the door for you."
Dad left, and I went and dropped trow in front of the toilet with no privacy, it was like having a bare toilet in the middle of a parking lot, very strange.  I pinched a loaf, wiped up. Washed my hands and got outta there.  I open the door and my Dad is no where to be found.  I thought, nice one Dad, thanks for looking out for me. As I walked down the hallway, my Dad was standing there waiting for me.  I think he wanted to keep his eye on the buffet.
 After I get to my seat, the chef brings out a roast in a pan, it was a smaller roast, but it appeared to me that it was the old roast that had been cut in half, to make it appear as a "backup" roast.
Anyway, we ate our supper, my Dad got his roast beef and we continued on our way. No one died, or shit blood, so all was good.

When we arrived  at the auto wreckers in Texas, we drove the Buick back in the yard and Dad got his tools out. As my Brother and I explored the yard, my Mom read a book while my Dad swapped out the headliner and one seat in a few hours.  The interior now appeared brand new.  Dad paid the owner and away we went for Dallas.  I remember that in downtown Dallas, the buildings were so tall, that some of the streetlights were on in the middle of the day.  My family were big fans of the TV series "Dallas" and I remember the building with the glass windows and its top that looked like it was cut-off at an angle from the opening scene of the TV show.

peace
Hog
Right in the middle??? With no stall?? That is very strange who would want to use that inless they have someone doin what your dad did and stand guard! I think it was prob a resturant trick so people wont poop there. Less clean up maybe? Lol i cant think of any other reason it would be layed out like that. Its very strange! Great story!

Re: Where was your worst public bathroom experience?
« Reply #48 on: February 27, 2018, 12:56:39 PM »
My dad had that car or one like it with that seat in the back facing out. Me and my brother would sit back there but i always found it awkward when we were stopped and the people in the car behind us were staring right at us!

I believe its 30 mins outside of Dallas, have you visited the real South Fork Ranch? I would love to visit it someday myself! Bathroom wise, just anytime i have to #2 and there are other people in there im always nervous that im makeing some horrible grose sound or they can here my plops...im not good with public restrooms in general, inless im alone and its damn clean!
The suburbs have encroached a lot but still a really cool place. Now mainly a wedding venue. I did not crap there so cannot provide a good story. I did get a photo of me in front of the big portrait of Jock though!

Re: Where was your worst public bathroom experience?
« Reply #49 on: February 27, 2018, 01:05:33 PM »
This is a long one, but I enjoyed remembering some of the events that our family had together. If Dad was with us, most of them involved roadtrips, some of them very long. This one involves a very strange public washroom.

I was probably 14-15 years old with Mom, Dad, and my Brother travelling from the Northland down to Texas in the family 1989 Buick Estate Wagon with a carbed 307 Olds 307 under the hood.  This the last of the big squarebodies station wagons, and the last Carbed engine GM put out.  She had a lot of window acreage, all of it had a deeep dark window tint, including the rear door/tailgate, that either opened like a car door from the passenger side and is hinged at the Drivers  side of the rear door, or if you had the rear window "rolled down" using the driver controlled Rear Window switch, you could open it like the tailgate of a pickup truck, top to bottom. 
All closed

Open like a tailgate(noticehowth "bed/floor" an be crated by folding all teh seats down. Instant HURSE!

OPEN, like car door, snipers nest seat ready for 2 people.




It had the 2 power seats in the front with the place you could sit a 3rd in the front, if you had to, the next row where you could, sit 3 wide, and then the very back-back seat that faced backwards where 2 could sit facing backwards towards the traffic behind you.  Perfect for covert snip attacks on rearward targets, or perfect for Amy Bell your Grade 5 girlfriend to let you look down her pants.  Like a gentleman, I had to reciprocate, and No, she wouldnt go for the "SpitHug".  All of this occurring as my Mom and Mrs Bell gab(casting) away to each other WAY up front.  As you can tell, I hope< I wasnt 14 or 15 years old in Grade 5, my grade 5 fumblings in the snipers seat, were in the same style wagon that was replaced by the 1989 Buick Estate Wagon.  It was far more mundane, but did seat 8 as well, like the newer and fully loaded 1989 Buick Estate Wagon.
Here is the "snipers Nest" wrong interior though



the 1989 Buick was a fully loaded beast, it was dark blue with the fake wood side panels, limo tint windows and stock OEM aluminum Buick wheels. My Dad was proud of that car as he made out like a bandit on that car. Dad was a mechanic who straightened car/truck frames in the garage he built with his own hands, on the acre lot he and Mom bought and built their simple 1600 sq foot bungalow back in 1971 for $17,500.  The property is worth 25 times that nowadays, my Dad was always taking a small investment, thinking about the long term, and making it work for him and our family. His forte was automobiles. He got the 1989 Buick Estate wagon for $2000 with about 15,000kms on it. It was in a collision where it left the road, hit a tree and there was a small fire. Dad brought the car in his garage onto his frame rack, stripped off the injured body panels, heated the frame, pulled the frame straight using his numerous hydraulics and replaced the injured body panels with new GM sheetmetal.  Though he was licensed to do body work, he hated it, so he got his buddies to to the bodywork and paint. From the outside, the car looked brand new, but inside there was some remnants from the fire. He was able to locally source most of the interior components, but a complete headliner for this car was almost as much as he paid for the car in the first place. This was the perfect opportunity for Dad to schedule a "family trip" in search of a new headliner for the Buick. After a few phone calls a place called "White Auto Wreckers" in Texas had brought in a Buick Estate Wagon with the dark blue interior that Dad was seeking.   A road trip for the S-alphabet-horn family was scheduled and off to Texas we went. We left after Mom was done work and we hit the border at about 11pm.  My Mom and Brother were sleeping in the back on a large foam mattress that fit perfectly in the back when the 2nd and 3rd row of seating was folded down.  The border guard asked for my and Dads citizenship, Dad said "Canadian" I was leaned over looking at the guard and he asked "And what country are you from?"  I said "Canada", then he asked, "How many people in the car?" Dad answered "4, my Wife and Son are sleeping in the back>"  The guard told my Dad to wake up Mom and Allen, so he did so. Then the guard told my Dad to roll down the back window, so he did. The guard shifted so he could see in the back and my Mom said "Canadian" and my Brother said, "Canadian".  The guard shifted back to the front window asked "What is the purpose of your visit to the USA?" Dad replied "Vacation to Texas, I'm taking the family to Dallas." The guard asked "How long will you be staying?"  Dad said "No more than a week."  The guard said "Enjoy your stay in the US," and he waved us forward. And away we went. Needless to say, crossing the border is a LOT different nowadays.

Here is a 1986 "Electra". look how the woodgrain and stock alloy rims set the car off.
WITH-Window Tint


NON-Tinted


The tint made the car.
Then GM went to the "round bodies", where GM pussied out and became worried about things like efficiency and fuel economy and aerodynamics(sarc).  But the newer roundbody B-bodies didnt look nice IMO.


The only thing that was nice about the new GM round body B-bodies was the 1994-1996 Impala SS

Simply beautiful, looks like there is some steamrollers on the back of this one. In 1994, you could get an Impalla SS in ANY colour, so long as it was BLACK.

Any who, we are down in the South, Tennessee, and we stop for supper at a buffet restaurant on the side of the road. The sign said "all you can eat Catfish and Roast Beef". We walk in and are greeted and the woman walks us by the buffet.  On the left there is catfish piled like cordwood, mouths towards us, with not a whisker missing.  Then to the right this guy brings out this big assed roast with nary a slice off of it.  I could tell that my Dad was getting gastrointestinally(sexually)  aroused as he couldnt stop staring at the freaking roast.  You see my Dad passed away at the age of 69, I'm pretty sure that during each of those 69 years, that at any time, if he fell down and broke a bone, beef gravy would be staining the sidewalk and not blood.  I'll put my Dads love of thermally denatured beef protein another way, I once saw the results from his every 3 month blood report for our family doctor.  His cholesterol numbers came back as "Prime Rib-medium rare".

OK, I think you get the idea here, it wasn't an accident that we just happened upon this place.  I'm pretty sure that Dad had timed this entire leg of the trip to Tehas, so that we would roll into this place exactly at supper time.
We are seated and the guy that brought out the roast reappeared, he was wearing a white chefs outfit with the tall white hat. He lifted the roast up out of the its place under the heating lamps and placed it on the cutting board under another set of heating lamps. He puts down the big fork and picks up his big knife and the steel and he begins to sharpen the knife, but is doing so directly over the roast.  I guess he figured that we needed some extra iron with our roast beef.  He noticed that my Dad and I were watching and he began to show off a bit and he started to sharpen his knife with an impressive rapidity. The entire time, his steel and his knife are directly above the roast.  Then "BANG"  the guy hits the big assed heat lamp with his knife and the shards of glass and other heatlamp internals join the steel filings atop this big assed chunk of roast beef.  Obviously embarrassed, he looks up at Dad and to see if we were still watching, which of course we were.  I could literally HEAR the disappointment exuding from my Father.  The guy in the chef's hat muttered "thank goodness we have a backup" as he wields the big roast fork again and stabs the as yet uncut, but now well "seasoned" roast beef, picks it up, puts it back into its pan, dons some oven mitts and grabs the pan and roast beef and disappears back into the kitchen.  A woman then appears and changes the bulb and begins to clean up the heatbulb shrapnel.
I took this opportunity to go to the bathroom as I had to "drop a Deuce". 

I walk over to the bathroom and open the door, what I was greeted with, was the strangest bathroom layout I had EVER seen. Standing in the door way, on the wall to my immediate left was bare, the other wall to my left had a row of urinals, the back wall was bare, the wall opposite the wall with the urinals had another row of urinals, and the wall behind the door had 2 sinks with soap and towels dispensers.
 About 10 feet directly in front of me, in the complete center of the bathroom, was a white porcelain toilet, white a roll of toilet paper on top of the bowl.  I immediately went back to our table and got my Dad and brought him to the restroom.  He went in and smiled, "let me guess, you need to use that toilet?"  I said "yes." He said "Be quick and I'll guard the door for you."
Dad left, and I went and dropped trow in front of the toilet with no privacy, it was like having a bare toilet in the middle of a parking lot, very strange.  I pinched a loaf, wiped up. Washed my hands and got outta there.  I open the door and my Dad is no where to be found.  I thought, nice one Dad, thanks for looking out for me. As I walked down the hallway, my Dad was standing there waiting for me.  I think he wanted to keep his eye on the buffet.
 After I get to my seat, the chef brings out a roast in a pan, it was a smaller roast, but it appeared to me that it was the old roast that had been cut in half, to make it appear as a "backup" roast.
Anyway, we ate our supper, my Dad got his roast beef and we continued on our way. No one died, or shit blood, so all was good.

When we arrived  at the auto wreckers in Texas, we drove the Buick back in the yard and Dad got his tools out. As my Brother and I explored the yard, my Mom read a book while my Dad swapped out the headliner and one seat in a few hours.  The interior now appeared brand new.  Dad paid the owner and away we went for Dallas.  I remember that in downtown Dallas, the buildings were so tall, that some of the streetlights were on in the middle of the day.  My family were big fans of the TV series "Dallas" and I remember the building with the glass windows and its top that looked like it was cut-off at an angle from the opening scene of the TV show.

peace
Hog
Ha, funny story, and detailed, and your dad travelin that far for a headliner! Classic. I miss station wagons. Somehow SUV's and Suburbans have taken over that market. That is an odd toilet arrangement. Possibly under some kind of remodel not completed? I recall a place in which the doors/walls etc were taken out for a remodel before the new ones arrived so essentially a row of crappers with no walls around them for a time. Also, there was one bathroom at UT where the shitters had no doors. I also don't like places where you aren't supposed to flush paper- usually rural places on old septic systems or environmentally sensitive areas. Nothing like a trashcan of used toilet paper and "sanitary napkins."

Re: Where was your worst public bathroom experience?
« Reply #50 on: February 27, 2018, 01:06:42 PM »
The suburbs have encroached a lot but still a really cool place. Now mainly a wedding venue. I did not crap there so cannot provide a good story. I did get a photo of me in front of the big portrait of Jock though!

Thats cool you still got to see it tho! Just weddings? I thought maybe I could learn to ride a horse there or some sort of activity. Maybe they have a nice gift shop. Sue Ellen is my favorite btw.

Re: Where was your worst public bathroom experience?
« Reply #51 on: February 27, 2018, 01:09:20 PM »
Thats cool you still got to see it tho! Just weddings? I thought maybe I could learn to ride a horse there or some sort of activity. Maybe they have a nice gift shop. Sue Ellen is my favorite btw.
I guess it does any events but popular for weddings. But you can do trail rides and classes:
http://www.southforkranch.com/southfork-ranch-trail-rides

Re: Where was your worst public bathroom experience?
« Reply #52 on: February 27, 2018, 01:11:15 PM »
I guess it does any events but popular for weddings. But you can do trail rides and classes:
http://www.southforkranch.com/southfork-ranch-trail-rides

Oh thanks! Im gonna check that out!

Re: Where was your worst public bathroom experience?
« Reply #53 on: February 27, 2018, 02:00:46 PM »
Hog's story reminded me of public men's rooms in old football stadiums.  No individual urinals, just a series of connected troughs where you pissed standing shoulder-to-shoulder with the guys next to you. Similarly, the toilet bowls were free standing, cantilevered units on a wall all in a row with no stall walls/doors.  The toilet paper was on a huge roll that hung between the toilet bowls, you shared it with the guy next to you.  It didn't pay to be shy in those facilities.

Re: Where was your worst public bathroom experience?
« Reply #54 on: February 27, 2018, 02:05:19 PM »
More comical that bad, but....

In the late 90s/early 2000s when cell phones were not yet common, I was in a stall at O'Hare  Airport.  A guy came into the stall next to mine and within several seconds said, "Hi, how you doing."  I thought that was a bit odd, but since I didn't want to appear to be a jerk,  I said, "Doing Ok, how about you?"  He then said, "I hate these late week trips, throws off my schedule."  So I said something like "Yeah, I'm on my way home at least." He then asked "What you doing this weekend?" I replied, ""God knows what the wife has planned."  He then said, "Hey, I gotta go, this guy in the next stall keeps talking to me."

I waited for at least five minutes after he left before I destalled and headed to my gate.

I would have been so embarrassed lol

Re: Where was your worst public bathroom experience?
« Reply #55 on: February 27, 2018, 02:11:20 PM »
Hog's story reminded me of public men's rooms in old football stadiums.  No individual urinals, just a series of connected troughs where you pissed standing shoulder-to-shoulder with the guys next to you. Similarly, the toilet bowls were free standing, cantilevered units on a wall all in a row with no stall walls/doors.  The toilet paper was on a huge roll that hung between the toilet bowls, you shared it with the guy next to you.  It didn't pay to be shy in those facilities.

Humm sounds like a good alternative to THE GAY BAR! Ill def check it out.

Re: Where was your worst public bathroom experience?
« Reply #56 on: February 27, 2018, 02:11:29 PM »
My dad had that car or one like it with that seat in the back facing out. Me and my brother would sit back there but i always found it awkward when we were stopped and the people in the car behind us were staring right at us!

I believe its 30 mins outside of Dallas, have you visited the real South Fork Ranch? I would love to visit it someday myself! Bathroom wise, just anytime i have to #2 and there are other people in there im always nervous that im makeing some horrible grose sound or they can here my plops...im not good with public restrooms in general, inless im alone and its damn clean!

Gotta change your mindset.  You are sharing this live action experience.  You should pass a hat around the very small crowd in that men's room.  You probably won't be able to repeat that exact experience again.  The crowd should respond generously.

Re: Where was your worst public bathroom experience?
« Reply #57 on: February 27, 2018, 02:19:13 PM »
Gotta change your mindset.  You are sharing this live action experience.  You should pass a hat around the very small crowd in that men's room.  You probably won't be able to repeat that exact experience again.  The crowd should respond generously.

That is true! People pay good money for entertainment of any sort! People are still paying to be a cost insider ive heard. Heather Wade Rocks!!! Sorry i tryed to hold that in but it was bound to come out sooner or later!

Re: Where was your worst public bathroom experience?
« Reply #58 on: February 27, 2018, 03:18:28 PM »
That is true! People pay good money for entertainment of any sort! People are still paying to be a cost insider ive heard. Heather Wade Rocks!!! Sorry i tryed to hold that in but it was bound to come out sooner or later!

Thatís not how this works.

First you announce you are vegan.

Then you announce you are gay, but might be bi-curious.

Only then are you allowed to fawn over Ms Heather Wade.

But you have to mud wrestle with Bear and Mike from Montana before you get an autographed hoodie.

Re: Where was your worst public bathroom experience?
« Reply #59 on: February 27, 2018, 05:07:33 PM »
Thatís not how this works.

First you announce you are vegan.

Then you announce you are gay, but might be bi-curious.

Only then are you allowed to fawn over Ms Heather Wade.

But you have to mud wrestle with Bear and Mike from Montana before you get an autographed hoodie.

 How dare you accuse me of being a vegan!