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Great Britain Is Building Their Own Refugee Wall

Started by Dr. MD MD, September 10, 2016, 11:39:24 AM

K_Dubb

Land of moping glory,
Cage of the once-free,
How do we abhor thee, who escaped from thee!
Wider still and wider do our asses spread,
God, Who staged both farces, gravely shakes His head.

albrecht

Quote from: Yorkshire pud on September 12, 2016, 01:59:12 PM
Hamilton is now a UKIP member.... yep, weird.
Glad he is still around in public.
I've been meaning to ask this question of a Brit. What is with weird socks? I had a boss who would always wear weird socks. I noticed this also in a few clients. I never asked WTF? Rich, educated, successful businessmen, nice suit etc but then would always wear weird socks. Is this some British thing? Some public school fetish? Some subtle attempt at rebellion? Or maybe I just happened to work with a few oddballs. But they were normal in every other aspect of their life (as far as I know.)

Quote from: K_Dubb on September 12, 2016, 02:07:42 PM
Land of moping glory,
Cage of the once-free,
How do we abhor thee, who escaped from thee!
Wider still and wider do our asses spread,
God, Who staged both farces, gravely shakes His head.

Yikes! Take some Imodium already!

"All the stories have been told
Of kings and days of old,
But there's no England now.
All the wars that were won and lost,
Somehow don't seem to matter very much anymore.
All the lies we were told,
All the lies of the people running round,
They're castles have burned.
I see change,
But inside we're the same as we ever were."

Quote from: K_Dubb on September 11, 2016, 12:04:06 PM
Good heavens, the poor creature looks so distressed!  The baby, however, seems quite content.

Your signal efforts to draw attention to the agonies of these unfortunates (to "raise awareness" in current vulgar parlance) are truly touching.  Let us rejoice in the resplendence of modern, baby-free brass and pause, additionally, to remember the suffering of the poor tubas of the era, for whom the "spit valve" was a mere euphemism.

I did a little more "brass babies" research last night and it appears that the practice was more widespread and perhaps much more unsavory than I previously thought. From this evidence, it appears that not all brass babies were kidnapped, and that some despicable parents may have deliberately bred and raised children for what they must have known would be nightmare existences. There also is a recurring theme that seems to suggest that brass babies were a vital part of the ceremonial rituals of a no doubt evil secret society or cult. Note the similarity of the uniforms in all the pictures.  Coincidence? I think not, because as George Noory keeps reminding us, there's no such thing.

BTW, the last picture is my great-grandpa Fyodor (mistakenly labeled as "Uncle" by a careless cousin) taken right before he was rescued.

Up next is shocking proof that there is still a thriving underground network of brass baby enthusiasts. I know it's hard to believe that still goes on in this enlightened age, but the pictures tell a depressingly different story.

Okay, here are some modern examples of brass baby abuse. They should not be viewed by the overly sensitive or squeamish. I'm guessing they were taken in Indiana or Arkansas, where the practice is still legal, but the practice has been relegated to an underground network of enthusiasts because it is almost universally deplored and condemned by good, God-fearing people.

The last one is a clear indication that strong narcotics are still being used to pacify uncooperative victims. Pray for them to whatever deity you believe will listen and heed your compassionate entreaties.


K_Dubb

Quote from: Robert Ghostwolf's Ghost on September 13, 2016, 01:25:13 PM
I did a little more "brass babies" research last night and it appears that the practice was more widespread and perhaps much more unsavory than I previously thought. From this evidence, it appears that not all brass babies were kidnapped, and that some despicable parents may have deliberately bred and raised children for what they must have known would be nightmare existences. There also is a recurring theme that seems to suggest that brass babies were a vital part of the ceremonial rituals of a no doubt evil secret society or cult. Note the similarity of the uniforms in all the pictures.  Coincidence? I think not, because as George Noory keeps reminding us, there's no such thing.

BTW, the last picture is my great-grandpa Fyodor (mistakenly labeled as "Uncle" by a careless cousin) taken right before he was rescued.

Up next is shocking proof that there is still a thriving underground network of brass baby enthusiasts. I know it's hard to believe that still goes on in this enlightened age, but the pictures tell a depressingly different story.

Utterly shocking, made even more horrifying by the cultic evidence you've unearthed, and its perpetuation.  Is there no end to the appetites of the metal maws of these modern Molochs?

Here we see the fruits of desperation as wartime exigencies drove the Japanese, with their usual exuberance, to industrial-scale sacrifice.  Several full-grown adults could be shoved down the throats of these beasts.


Quote from: K_Dubb on September 13, 2016, 01:54:15 PM
Utterly shocking, made even more horrifying by the cultic evidence you've unearthed, and its perpetuation.  Is there no end to the appetites of the metal maws of these modern Molochs?

Here we see the fruits of desperation as wartime exigencies drove the Japanese, with their usual exuberance, to industrial-scale sacrifice.  Several full-grown adults could be shoved down the throats of these beasts.



I'm grateful the Japanese weren't able to produce more than a few dozen of those before the war ended. If they had been able to deploy thousands of them, they may have been invincible.

I also just discovered this picture of a youngster who bears a striking resemblance to one of the current presidential candidates. There's no proof that it is him, but perhaps it should be investigated to make sure he isn't actually a Manchurian candidate who's been brainwashed to open the door for the brass baby cultists to take control of our government. We must be eternally vigilant in order to that troubling eventuality from ever happening.


Quote from: Dr. MD MD on September 13, 2016, 01:36:38 PM
With all the tubas I thought you guys could use a little tootling  ;)


Not to sound ungrateful, but this is actually pretty serious stuff and it makes me uncomfortable when people joke about it.

Dr. MD MD

Quote from: Robert Ghostwolf's Ghost on September 13, 2016, 02:28:15 PM
Not to sound ungrateful, but this is actually pretty serious stuff and it makes me uncomfortable when people joke about it.

So, I guess asking if I can use one as a toilet is out of the question then?  ???

Quote from: Dr. MD MD on September 13, 2016, 02:35:45 PM
So, I guess asking if I can use one as a toilet is out of the question then?  ???

Only if you plan to involve a child.  Otherwise, brass instrument toilet jokes are pretty funny.

K_Dubb

Quote from: Robert Ghostwolf's Ghost on September 13, 2016, 02:23:30 PM
I'm grateful the Japanese weren't able to produce more than a few dozen of those before the war ended. If they had been able to deploy thousands of them, they may have been invincible.

I also just discovered this picture of a youngster who bears a striking resemblance to one of the current presidential candidates. There's no proof that it is him, but perhaps it should be investigated to make sure he isn't actually a Manchurian candidate who's been brainwashed to open the door for the brass baby cultists to take control of our government. We must be eternally vigilant in order to that troubling eventuality from ever happening.

Hahaha oh that is priceless!  An investigation should indeed be launched, but how?  Brass bands are no longer a stump-speech staple.  Perhaps a sousaphone could be surreptitiously smuggled into an event to gauge the candidate's reaction upon presentation.  Will he quail in fear?  Will he bow to worship?  Endeavor to lodge himself within the instrument, to great comic effect?  Conscript the player to cover for those moments when his eloquence fails, as the tuba's brassy blare alternating with fulsome farting is a comparable waste of wind?

Quote from: K_Dubb on September 13, 2016, 02:41:57 PM
Hahaha oh that is priceless!  An investigation should indeed be launched, but how?  Brass bands are no longer a stump-speech staple.  Perhaps a sousaphone could be surreptitiously smuggled into an event to gauge the candidate's reaction upon presentation.  Will he quail in fear?  Will he bow to worship?  Endeavor to lodge himself within the instrument, to great comic effect?  Conscript the player to cover for those moments when his eloquence fails, as the tuba's brassy blare alternating with fulsome farting is a comparable waste of wind?

That is a most compelling and entertaining image, K! I would even cross the street and pay $2 to see that.

"[Will he] endeavor to lodge himself within the instrument, to great comic effect?"

This doesn't do the imagery complete justice, but it gives the general idea of what it might look like.

K_Dubb

Quote from: Robert Ghostwolf's Ghost on September 13, 2016, 02:59:15 PM
"[Will he] endeavor to lodge himself within the instrument, to great comic effect?"

This doesn't do the imagery complete justice, but it gives the general idea of what it might look like.

Head first!  I hadn't thought of that.  Maybe the repeated encounters with residual Brasso account for his hair's unnatural tone.

Quote from: K_Dubb on September 13, 2016, 01:54:15 PM
Utterly shocking, made even more horrifying by the cultic evidence you've unearthed, and its perpetuation.  Is there no end to the appetites of the metal maws of these modern Molochs?

Here we see the fruits of desperation as wartime exigencies drove the Japanese, with their usual exuberance, to industrial-scale sacrifice.  Several full-grown adults could be shoved down the throats of these beasts.


It's easy to forget with all the infamy unfairly associated with them, that tubas and their trademark whimsical "oompah" sound have otherwise overwhelmingly been regarded with great fondness as stalwart purveyors of innocent amusement that never fail to delight small children who aren't stuffed inside their bells.

Here's a prime example of how tubas were meant to be played. 

https://youtu.be/8AGR--lM0dE

K_Dubb

Quote from: Robert Ghostwolf's Ghost on September 13, 2016, 10:47:28 PM
It's easy to forget with all the infamy unfairly associated with them, that tubas and their trademark whimsical "oompah" sound have otherwise overwhelmingly been regarded with great fondness as stalwart purveyors of innocent amusement that never fail to delight small children who aren't stuffed inside their bells.

Here's a prime example of how tubas were meant to be played. 


You, sir, have done yeoman's service in revealing the sinister face behind the demon instrument's blithe facade.  With that in mind I have composed an additional stanza to insert in Dryden's St. Cecilia Ode, right after The trumpet's loud clangor/Excites us to arms:

The tuba, so merry,
Conceals darker arts.
With cheerful raspberry
And low, solemn farts,
It charms and enchants, though beware its great bell:
When donned like your pants, it's a portal to hell.

Quote from: K_Dubb on September 14, 2016, 02:11:44 PM
You, sir, have done yeoman's service in revealing the sinister face behind the demon instrument's blithe facade.  With that in mind I have composed an additional stanza to insert in Dryden's St. Cecilia Ode, right after The trumpet's loud clangor/Excites us to arms:

The tuba, so merry,
Conceals darker arts.
With cheerful raspberry
And low, solemn farts,
It charms and enchants, though beware its great bell:
When donned like your pants, it's a portal to hell.

I have to admit I've forgotten what little I learned about Dryden, and know nothing about St. Cecilia because I'm too lazy to Google her tonight. However, I'm sure they were a delightful couple who loved each other with an ardent, unquenchable passion the rest of us will never experience and can only envy.

I can picture Tim Daly and Susan Lucci (or Valerie Bertinelli) playing them in a heartwarming Lifetime Christmas movie about a memorable holiday weekend in Connecticut, in which true love conquers a series of wacky and improbable misunderstandings that threaten to thwart it at every turn between commercial breaks.

I appreciate inspired doggerel though, and yours  just won Best in Show.  ;D

Give yourself s raise and take the rest of the week off. Cheers!

K_Dubb

Quote from: Robert Ghostwolf's Ghost on September 15, 2016, 12:26:20 AM
I have to admit I've forgotten what little I learned about Dryden, and know nothing about St. Cecilia because I'm too lazy to Google her tonight. However, I'm sure they were a delightful couple who loved each other with an ardent, unquenchable passion the rest of us will never experience and can only envy.

I can picture Tim Daly and Susan Lucci (or Valerie Bertinelli) playing them in a heartwarming Lifetime Christmas movie about a memorable holiday weekend in Connecticut, in which true love conquers a series of wacky and improbable misunderstandings that threaten to thwart it at every turn between commercial breaks.

I appreciate inspired doggerel though, and yours  just won Best in Show.  ;D

Give yourself s raise and take the rest of the week off. Cheers!

Would the story were as entertaining!  The details are fuzzy but I believe the lady spurned him and put out her eyes.  Or was roasted on a grill.  I forget; at any rate it was one of those tiresome tales the Italians call peplum.

I am obliged to point out that doggerel is naive verse with irregular meter and questionable rhyme, whereas mine usually runs like a clock, however iirregular and questionable the subject.  Nevertheless, I gather your leaves gratefully to patch my feeble wreath.  Cheers to you, sir!

albrecht

Quote from: Robert Ghostwolf's Ghost on September 13, 2016, 02:59:15 PM
"[Will he] endeavor to lodge himself within the instrument, to great comic effect?"

This doesn't do the imagery complete justice, but it gives the general idea of what it might look like.
A blast from the past but one of my more favorite stories. Interestingly I like how the bear tried, but then ignored, Busch. Why Rainer at this point didn't make this an advertisement bit I will never know. They could've really capitalized on it instead of being bought up and sold, sold, etc and brewed under contract by others.
http://usatoday30.usatoday.com/news/offbeat/2004-08-18-beer-bear_x.htm

Quote from: K_Dubb on September 15, 2016, 07:58:41 AM

I am obliged to point out that doggerel is naive verse with irregular meter and questionable rhyme, whereas mine usually runs like a clock, however iirregular and questionable the subject.  Nevertheless, I gather your leaves gratefully to patch my feeble wreath.  Cheers to you, sir!

I know. I was just using the powers granted by my poetic license.

Quote from: albrecht on September 15, 2016, 09:21:24 AM
A blast from the past but one of my more favorite stories. Interestingly I like how the bear tried, but then ignored, Busch. Why Rainer at this point didn't make this an advertisement bit I will never know. They could've really capitalized on it instead of being bought up and sold, sold, etc and brewed under contract by others.
http://usatoday30.usatoday.com/news/offbeat/2004-08-18-beer-bear_x.htm

Ha! That's great! I've never had Rainier Beer, but I'd take just about anything over Busch so I'm not surprised the bear preferred it.

K_Dubb

Quote from: Robert Ghostwolf's Ghost on September 15, 2016, 10:37:40 AM
I know. I was just using the powers granted by my poetic license.

A known error?  Shocking, sir!  To write off a perfect anapestic tetrameter quatrain (with iambic substitution on the first, consistent internal rhyming, and irregular line breaks in imitation of Dryden's own) as doggerel is an affront to the Muse.

Quote from: K_Dubb on September 15, 2016, 10:55:46 AM
A known error?  Shocking, sir!  To write off a perfect anapestic tetrameter quatrain (with iambic substitution on the first, consistent internal rhyming, and irregular line breaks in imitation of Dryden's own) as doggerel is an affront to the Muse.

What part of "poetic license" don't you understand, Bard Boy? Better check to make sure yours hasn't lapsed.  Sheesh, if I wanted tedious I'd go read some of Yorkie's posts.

Quote from: K_Dubb on September 15, 2016, 10:55:46 AM
A known error?  Shocking, sir!  To write off a perfect anapestic tetrameter quatrain (with iambic substitution on the first, consistent internal rhyming, and irregular line breaks in imitation of Dryden's own) as doggerel is an affront to the Muse.

The only reason I don't report you to the DMV (Dept. of Metered Verse) for flagrant literalness, is because you seem like a decent chap and I strongly disapprove of the brutal and often sadistic methods it employs to ensure full compliance with its regulations. I'll be keeping an eye on you, though, and would not be disappointed to see some soaring flights of symbolic, metaphorical fancy. Just sayin'.

K_Dubb

Quote from: Robert Ghostwolf's Ghost on September 15, 2016, 11:00:47 AM
What part of "poetic license" don't you understand, Bard Boy? Better check to make sure yours hasn't lapsed.  Sheesh, if I wanted tedious I'd go read some of Yorkie's posts.

It's so plain to see you may curse
And call me a pedant or worse,
But what you're invoking
(I hope you are joking;
I want what you're smoking)
Is license for leeway in verse.

starrmtn001

Quote from: K_Dubb on September 15, 2016, 11:14:01 PM
It's so plain to see you may curse
And call me a pedant or worse,
But what you're invoking
(I hope you are joking;
I want what you're smoking)
Is license for leeway in verse.
Did you make your Muse sign a non-compete?  Asking for a friend.

Quote from: starrmtn001 on September 15, 2016, 11:17:05 PM
Did you make your Muse sign a non-compete?  Asking for a friend.

His muse is named Borkum Riff, and she's available in a variety of pungent blends wherever tobacco products for people who don't demand the best are sold.  ;D

K_Dubb

Quote from: Robert Ghostwolf's Ghost on September 15, 2016, 09:45:15 PM
The only reason I don't report you to the DMV (Dept. of Metered Verse) for flagrant literalness, is because you seem like a decent chap and I strongly disapprove of the brutal and often sadistic methods it employs to ensure full compliance with its regulations. I'll be keeping an eye on you, though, and would not be disappointed to see some soaring flights of symbolic, metaphorical fancy. Just sayin'.

Hahaha tell them to come get me.  I'm working on my plea now -- ten stanzas of Spencerian.

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