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Messages - AZRAA

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Archive of Old Threads / Re: Azraa's Thread
« on: Today at 01:33:46 AM »
I had the same thought.  Azzra seems too conversant in American culture and jargon to be non-U.S.  Of course he might have spent his life watching American TV and surfing our internet but I think he has adopted a South African identity to set himself apart as someone exotic.  (Not that there's anything wrong with that.)

While I don't endeavour to impede your opinions in any way, I haven't adopted a South African identity to "set myself apart" or make myself any more exotic than I am.

I did in fact grow up in South Africa - hence my British spelling, as that's what we were schooled with. As I wrote to VC, most of the stuff on TV is American there, and I admire America in many ways, and long held the opinion it was not only the greatest country on earth, but especially blessed by God.

Believe me, don't believe me: Your prerogative. As an aside, I guess I do owe you an apology for all the times I was so nasty to you on the board. I know its the spirit of BellGab to do so, but I went in on you many a time, undeservedly so. When you offered support around me toying with suicide, it touched me deeply. And also, the thread you made around the topic of me torturing pets was a riot. Of course I don't engage in such acts ... nonetheless, I found the thread amusing.

Are you vegetarian or vegan?

Not currently. I was a vegetarian for a good few years at one time in my life though.

Archive of Old Threads / Re: Azraa's Thread
« on: Today at 01:15:13 AM »
Why would you be interested in any of this American BS, seriously, if you're from South Africa now living in Indonesia? This is not adding-up to a real identity from those parts of the world but from somewhere else. Likely, you're an American LARP'ing this forum.

More than 50% of South African TV is exported from Hollywood. I was also a huge fan of Rush Limbaugh for a few years, before I had my most severe mental breakdown (I believe he contributed to my psychosis, but don't place the blame fully on him, because I chose to indulge that material). America is considered the land of milk and honey, and I took that to heart for many years. Its since fallen from grace a little, but, other entertainers such as Marilyn Manson for instance, I'm still greatly inspired by - and he incorporates a lot of American history into his music and performances - so you could say I picked up this information as a by-product of that. I'm also an avid reader, and America is a focal point of a lot articles in magazines, books and online publications. I used to be Americana obsessed, and had the classic dream of wanting to make a life for myself there. That goal has since evaporated from my life.

I'm surprised that you'd refer to key moments in American culture as BS though. Are you not American yourself? Or are you one of those people that hate your own country, despite its many merits and status as a superpower in the world?

More dismissive remarks by you toward me, huh! And I'm always so nice and accommodating of your probing questions. I don't know what LARPING means, by the way. You seem to use lots of obscure abbreviations and forum lingo, while BellGab is the only forum I've ever used( aside from me attempting to "make do" with EllGab when it went down.

Archive of Old Threads / Re: My Descent Into Psychosis
« on: Today at 12:56:12 AM »
You (Azz) have posted often referring to yourself as a male identity (heterosexual), even having GF's and seemingly intimate relationships with females, but, then again, you also post often as if you are speaking in a female persona from a female perspective and are writing here as if you're a female attracted to males too.

Is this just part of some "role play" or mental game you're playing here, or are you somehow a "blended gender" identifying as both male and/or female as you so determine is "as needed" when posting here?

My boyfriend and I share this account.

You went personal after K_Dubb and called him Gay, but you really do like/love him, so this whole situation with your psychosis has gotten the better of me with my curiosity to understand what is really going on "in here" with your mind and gender identities. This place is insane to begin with, but maybe you'll give a sane and honest response if possible.

I'm fond of K. Dubb, and don't remember calling him gay!

Archive of Old Threads / Re: My Descent Into Psychosis
« on: Today at 12:43:47 AM »
Is that why you moved to Indonesia?


Archive of Old Threads / Re: Azraa's Thread
« on: Yesterday at 03:38:27 PM »
If you call me Jephthah, my lord, I have a daughter that I love passing well. Syllogism the Fourth: Six: probability is a factor which operates within natural forces. Nine, probability is not operating as a factor. Twelve, we are now within un-, sub-, or supernatural forces.

Politics / Re: President Donald J. Trump
« on: Yesterday at 03:26:15 PM »
he certainly has the experience to bankrupt the country.


Radio and Podcasts / Re: Kingdom of Nye With Heather Wade
« on: August 22, 2019, 04:22:50 PM »
Only losers, virgins, incels or men who have never so much as touched a woman's breast know shit about Star Wars.

K. Dubb

Sredni Vashtar


Random Topics / Re: Bikini / swimwear thread
« on: August 22, 2019, 04:25:45 AM »

Random Topics / Re: Bikini / swimwear thread
« on: August 21, 2019, 02:16:31 PM »
Tangerine is not gonna like this.

Random Topics / Re: Music
« on: August 21, 2019, 11:51:12 AM »

Archive of Old Threads / Re: My Descent Into Psychosis
« on: August 21, 2019, 11:39:39 AM »
Paranoia IV

I should've discontinued, I should have stopped myself. But I didn't. Whoever knows me knows I never can.

Reaching out for help when you're knee deep in life-wrecking, the position is dire. I couldn't sit straight. I couldn't move. I couldn't look at her ... least of all in the God damn mirror.

I held the pen knife my grandfather had given me, between that flesh and mine, and ripped, began tearing them apart. They were siamese no more, ex-circus freaks and blood. Earlier that day doctor hadn't even been in town and I'd delivered a newborn piglet. But, I thought something was a little off when I looked down in the pond and the Koi were gone.

I ran out into the street. Motherfuckers were sending smoke signals, somewhere, or trying to at least. But I couldn't see them, and they were in another country and had hidden my rocks and trees.

Losing ones nerve never a good look I played it cool. No one had less than me, I strolled streets proud and looking calm.

When the blood started to gush out of the tenth story windows I began to panic, or rather to look unsettled- that I couldn't help. My friends all worked continuously, night and day... shifts did not exist. I never saw them and began to wonder if I still had the right to call 'em friends.

Then the finger came out the sky, and the little surrounding me glanced and ran around in panic, trampling some I shrugged.

These days seemed more one long night, and never before an evening I had participated in. I sat on park benches and a faceless mass approached.

Wherever these faces went I felt drawn to and giggled uncontrollably ... not aware of the control they had over me. I mirrored the lack of face and off I peeled mine.

They all brought logs and pins and razors and we stacked them in a pile. An hour prior I'd drifted off to sleep to the awful scent of my fathers alcoholic breath.

I realised none of me were going anywhere, and gave up.

Archive of Old Threads / Re: My Descent Into Psychosis
« on: August 21, 2019, 11:14:52 AM »
Nice avatar. Love your cartoons.

That's very nice of you to say. From the bottom of my heart, I thank you for the kind words.

Politics / Re: President Donald J. Trump
« on: August 21, 2019, 03:15:12 AM »
She died a whore then.

Now, now Miguel.

Random Topics / Re: Sredni Vashtar (Missing in Action)
« on: August 20, 2019, 02:50:35 PM »
srednu vastir is back?

Word on the street is he's slobbering on multi-coloured doders through glory holes with scabbed knees at bus stops.

Politics / Re: President Donald J. Trump
« on: August 20, 2019, 02:41:26 PM »
Is your mom still a whore?

My mom's dead.

Archive of Old Threads / Re: My Descent Into Psychosis
« on: August 20, 2019, 01:51:52 PM »
If you really cut yourself, then people shouldn't be showing you the knife ignorantly.

You have a brilliant mind that seems to function well at times.

Mutilation is the most sincere form of flattery.

Random Topics / Re: Bart Ell's thread
« on: August 20, 2019, 01:23:20 PM »
nigger babies -> black babies -> licorice babies.  I have to assume that these followed the same progression and are now licorice balls?

Yeah. Way to politicize a sweet.

Random Topics / Re: Bart Ell's thread
« on: August 20, 2019, 01:12:59 PM »
'Ode to an Expiring Frog'.

Donít you talk about Richard like that ...

- 1

Random Topics / Re: Bart Ell's thread
« on: August 20, 2019, 01:06:41 PM »
The Dutch store where I purchase my salted licorice has a ton of those on the wall at cheap prices.

On the topic of liquorice: ever heard of niggerballs?

Random Topics / Re: Bart Ell's thread
« on: August 20, 2019, 12:28:44 PM »
I wouldn't be listening to Heater while wearing them.

Random Topics / Re: Bart Ell's thread
« on: August 20, 2019, 10:53:32 AM »
those shoes

Can you light them on fire?

How To Use BellGab / Re: How To Access Bellgab
« on: August 20, 2019, 10:50:50 AM »
the devil's telegrams

Can you put me in touch?

Random Topics / Re: Bart Ell's thread
« on: August 20, 2019, 08:48:29 AM »
-1 to all the bug men pretending not to be bug men.

Radio and Podcasts / Re: George Noory Sucks! - The Definitive Compendium
« on: August 20, 2019, 04:19:03 AM »
Topic too "Heaven's Gate" for any semblance of comfort.

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