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Messages - DigitalPigSnuggler

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Random Topics / Re: Please pray for WhiteCrow.
« on: Yesterday at 08:56:52 PM »
"Two for lunch, please"

Fuck WhiteCrow with a rake.  He's a mongoloid ogre with a toddler-like lust for attention. 

Random Topics / Re: Please pray for WhiteCrow.
« on: Yesterday at 08:54:42 PM »
Most girl pics are taken by men for men.

If the chick is naked, then you are correct.  If she has clothes on, then it's really only of interest to other chicks and fags.  Kind of like Keeping Up With The Kardashians.

Random Topics / Re: Ask Jackstar Anything
« on: Yesterday at 06:48:26 PM »
MISTER Cripple.

Marine World / Africa USA in Vallejo, CA has a hippo tank.  One wall is glass, and the kiddies can all stand with their noses plastered against it, watch a Graf Zeppelin-like creature slowly drift around the perimeter.

One day I was there, watching, when all of a sudden a big fat hippo turd comes firing out of the rear end of this beast.  Immediately, in the blink of an eye, dozens of small finger fish were upon it, engorging themselves with the tasty offering.

That, right there, is a metaphor for your posts on this site.  A Lincoln Log consisting of one part Tootsie Wootsey, one part Falkie, and two parts Bob Dole comes rocketing out of the anus of Bellgab, with "Love, Jackstar" written on the side.  The iridescent Azzerae; the plump and slow-moving StarrMountain; the sleek and muscular paladin; and many others peck away merrily.  ANOTHER JACKSTER POST OMFG NOM NOM

I'm a truculent little bitch because I can't smoke as much weed as I would like. 

You're better than this

Sometimes the jokes write themselves.

Random Topics / Re: Ask Jackstar Anything
« on: Yesterday at 07:17:04 AM »
It's hilarious that you think you're being ironic here. That actually is what they're supposed to do. Remember to drink your fluoride, that's a good patient.

Today I saw a white guy with a mullet and a Joe Dirt mustache drive by me in an old pickup truck with a giant confederate flag flying out of the back.

Was that you, or one of your siblings/spouses?

Random Topics / Re: Ask Jackstar Anything
« on: December 16, 2018, 08:17:42 PM »
It wasn't all that long ago that these retarded faggots were telling pregnant women to start smoking, that cannabis was an addictive deadly poison, opiates were totally cool and safe to use, and prison blood from Arkansas was the perfect ingredient to sell to Europe.

You're right.  They should be fixing the problems before they find them, like the rest of us retarded faggots.

I decided that if I'm going to be paralyzed, I'm going to completely trash my body before it happens. 

And thusly, GDP growth is stimulated. Huzzah!

I changed my mind.  I'm going to completely trash YOUR body before it happens.  C'mere baby [zzzzzzzzzip]

Random Topics / Re: Military History
« on: December 15, 2018, 08:22:12 AM »
From Hallowed Grounds

Valor in Gray(Expanded)
Kershaw's Brigade at Fredericksburg December 13, 1862
Artwork by Mort Kunstler

They faced the most powerful army in America. Advancing in battle lines up the hill toward them was the mighty Army of the Potomac - more than 115,000 strong - composed of courageous, well-trained combat troops under the command of General Ambrose E. Burnside. For half a year, General Robert E. Lee’s Army of Northern Virginia had been persistently hammered by this great army, led by one Northern commander after another. Back in autumn at Antietam, the men in gray had escaped destruction by this same blue-uniformed host. Now they faced them again on the field of battle at Fredericksburg.

 This time, however, they had a formidable advantage. They held an almost impregnable line of defense, which was anchored in a sunken road behind a stone wall on Marye’s Heights. The Northern troops advancing on them now in a mighty mass had to assault uphill over a long and open plain. Defending the Sunken Road were troops from Georgia, North Carolina, and Kershaw’s Brigade of South Carolinians, commanded by Brigadier General Joseph B. Kershaw. Descended from a prominent Southern family, Kershaw had been orphaned as a boy and had worked his way through life with remarkable success as a self-educated lawyer, a local militia officer, a Mexican War veteran, and a Confederate officer distinguished by a rapid rise in rank to brigadier general. Despite the numerical superiority of the men in blue at Fredericksburg, Kershaw held his brigade steady and poured forth a terrible fire from behind the stone wall.

 Kershaw demonstrated “great coolness and skill,” observed a fellow officer, and helped transform the gigantic Federal assault into one of the North’s worst defeats. While Southern forces in the road and along the ridges behind it would lose a thousand men, the assaulting Northern forces would lose almost eight thousand. Finally, after making one courageous charge after another, the men in blue would give up. The Battle of Fredericksburg would be heralded as one of Robert E. Lee’s greatest victories - due in great measure to the valiant defense made by these sons of the South. It would long be celebrated in the Southern homeland as a triumph of valor in gray.

It is said that the Union troops gave a cry directed at the Southern troops after it was clear that Pickett's Charge was a slaughter: "Fredericksburg.....FREDERICKSBURG....!!!"

I'll take this opportunity to thank you and encourage you to continue your posts in this thread.  They are appreciated.

Random Topics / Re: Ask Jackstar Anything
« on: December 14, 2018, 10:03:57 PM »
Serious question for Jackster: Should the spelling of your handle in the title be corrected, or do you prefer to operate in a culture of mediocrity?

Random Topics / Re: Ask Jackstar Anything
« on: December 14, 2018, 09:56:36 PM »
I would like to put aside the laugh time and the gamesmanship for a moment to talk about my post above, where I revealed that I am facing full or partial paralysis from the shoulders down by the time that Trump gets curb-stomped by the ticket of Alexandria Ocasio-Cortez and Beta O'Rourke in 2020.

First, a story.  Some years ago I watched a TV segment about a man with Duchenne muscular dystrophy (let's call him Donald).  It seems that Our Hero was trying to beat the light while crossing the street, only to have the lights change when he was well away from the curb (mistake #1).  A truck driver, who had been waiting patiently at the light and fiddling with his radio, saw the light change and began to roll forward.  Donald and his chair were in front of the truck's hood and not visible, because he had failed to affix a pole with one of those little flags on it to his ride (mistake #2).

As the truck lurched forward, Donald heeled his chair over to the left, attempting to outrun the truck, because yeah that's gonna work.  The truck's bumper caught one, then the other of the handles at the back of the chair, and began to push it forward.

The truck picked up speed as the road became a rural highway.  Drivers in the opposing direction were treated to the sight of Donald and his chair screaming down the highway at 60 miles per hour, affixed to the front bumper of the truck.  Donald, who was interviewed for this segment, gave his thoughts during those moments: "I've got MD and only have a few years to live anyway.  I thought that this was going to be an exciting way to die, much more exciting than wheezing out in a hospital, so I settled in and enjoyed the ride."

The segment next played audio from 911 callers, alternating between those crying hysterically (the women) or laughing so hard they could not explain themselves (the men).  Finally, a sheriff's deputy managed to pull the truck over.  The deputy waved at the driver to step down, in response to his queries about what was wrong.  They crunched through the gravel towards the front of the truck.

Sitting there, with smoke rising from the shredded tires and the pulverized transmission, sat Donald's chair, with Donald perched upon it.  His head slowly swiveled towards the two men, and then he broke out into a huge grin.

The truck driver fainted.

I have to say that I was deeply moved by the PM's I received in response to my post.  It's strengthening indeed to know that people care enough to send their thoughts and prayers.  And I want to say to the both of you: don't feel sorry for me.  The more that I throw caution to the wind; the less inhibited I behave; and the less goddamn scared that I am about everything; the more I am enjoying life.  I'm having a BALL.  I'm getting laid as much as I could want, the daily risk of injury or death is exhilarating, and -- most perilous of all -- I'm eating good food cooked with butter.  I'm wondering why I didn't do this a long time ago.  Think of all that time I spent obsessing about conspiracies when I could be eating buttered prawns and banging beaver.

If I stop posting someday, then it means that Jackster and his semi have finally located me.  Be happy.

Random Topics / Re: Ask Jackstar Anything
« on: December 14, 2018, 06:12:27 AM »
I've got a subluxated spine

I have bone spurs growing out of my vertabre and pressing on my spine.  It started with numbness along my arm and into my thumb.

The attending physician told me that I would lose all sensation below my arms, with limited movement in my arms, within 24 to 48 months.  That was three years ago.  I got a scare about six months ago when i woke up and found that i had lost most of the usecof my left arm.  That's the arm i use to beat off, so it was like a death sentence.  Fortunately, i regained 95% of the use of my arm after a few Chiropractic sessions here.  I could never afford it in the usa without the ACA.  So triple-fuck with a cactus all of you who voted for Trump.

I decided that if I'm going to be paralyzed, I'm going to completely trash my body before it happens.  Im going to fuck like a three-peckered dog at a screwing contest.  Take twice the recommended daily dose of pregabalin because its like a workingmans version of MDA.  I ride an electric scooter in traffic, which is insane here. I look for ways to die heroically.  I travel a fair amount for work, and I'm always disappointed when the plane doesn't crash.

You and I could probably be friends , if you wrote to me as tenderly as you did with Kidnostan3.

Random Topics / Re: Things That Annoy You
« on: December 14, 2018, 05:43:28 AM »
You're a little better than Aldous.

Is she better than me?  (teeing it up for you to be funny)

Random Topics / Re: Ask Jackstar Anything
« on: December 13, 2018, 08:36:23 PM »
SOS pads have been manufactured from the brains of dead Americans!  They turn grey when use use them, like grey matter.  And they are small and round, like the brains they were harvested from.

Jackster’s brain would make an excellent scouring pad.  It’s super-abrasive and avoids absorbing anything.

Random Topics / Re: Ask Jackstar Anything
« on: December 13, 2018, 07:54:34 PM »
But you're not funny like Jack, so your only talent is likely as a sub bottom.

It’s not meant to be funny when I’m ass-raping you.  It’s meant to be informative.

[EDIT] Oh, I see that you’ve edited your post to tallk about your favorite subject: cock size of other posters.

Sweetheart, you have no idea about the size of my cock, and that’s because I have standards.  Jack can speak for himself.

Random Topics / Re: Ask Jackstar Anything
« on: December 13, 2018, 07:25:40 PM »
Jackstar is dead. Digital Pig Snuggler is the new, living god.

His heart died some time ago, though the rest of him is still ambulatory.

As for me, I’m not really a god, except between the sheets.

Random Topics / Re: Ask Jackstar Anything
« on: December 12, 2018, 01:36:04 PM »

Feels bad, man.

You call yourself a man?  You get blown out of the saddle, or was it neglect?  ON YOUR FEET SOLDIER

Random Topics / Re: Educating Jackster
« on: December 12, 2018, 02:23:50 AM »
I actually don't really know what that even means. Is it important?

Not if you don't give a Shiite.

Politics / Re: Jackstar Is Single Again (was: (Re: "Hey, Ladies"))
« on: December 12, 2018, 02:18:11 AM »
I will allow this twice.

My grandfather smoked his whole life.  When I was about 8 year old, my mom said to him, "If you ever want to see your grandchildren graduate, you will stop smoking right now and never smoke again."  He got all emotional and made a scene, but he did end up stopping cold turkey.  However, three years later he died of lung cancer.  It was tragic and almost destroyed me.  My mom said to me, "Don't you ever smoke.  I don't want you to put your family what your grandfather put us through."  I swore that I would never smoke, and to this day I have never smoked a cigarette.  I have to say, though, that I feel a slight sense of regret for having done that, because reading your posts has given me cancer anyway.  Blow me

Politics / Re: Jackstar Is Single Again (was: (Re: "Hey, Ladies"))
« on: December 12, 2018, 12:00:59 AM »
This picture was, in fact, meant to imply that dating her would be an upgrade to dating any of the last 3 posters--5, as of this writing.

I would rather pass a kidney stone than pass along a genuine compliment your way.  Painful as it is, though, I have to give you credit here.  Deft.

Politics / Re: Pizzagate./ JACKSTAR is: stupid stubborn stinking stub !!!
« on: December 11, 2018, 02:05:03 AM »
None of your fucking business you stinking homo turd.

Hahaha.  That's pretty funny.  Hahahaha

Politics / Re: Pizzagate./ JACKSTAR is: stupid stubborn stinking stub !!!
« on: December 11, 2018, 01:56:32 AM »
even if they might be interesting to view them.
You are stupid stubborn stinking stub.

That's not very nice.  Why don't you take some deep breathes and then go get yourself a nice icecream cone.

Random Topics / Re: Ask Jackstar Anything
« on: December 11, 2018, 01:51:36 AM »

As a regular guy, with little way to discern the truth behind many of the conspiracies of the day on my own, how do I seek real answers?

And, is the mainstream media BS across the board?

Excuse the two-parter.

Thanks in advance.

P.S. I've been one of those folks who does the head in the sand routine from time to time in order to cope with daily life. It gets me through, but I do wonder what is really going on, often.

Are you a chick?

You have no need to know this information. Go back to sleep.

Neither does anyone else, apparently.

Isn't it about time for you to report to your handlers in Karachi, seat-sniffer?

Politics / Re: DEATHWATCH: George Herbert Walker "Poppy" Bush
« on: December 10, 2018, 08:51:48 PM »

... Jeb!

Contents of the Secret Service note, as reported by CNN: "Titans rout Jacksonville, 30 - 9"

"Please clap"


* 911iie.gif (155.41 kB)

The biggest crime in United States history.

Three thousand souls murdered on the first day,

Thousands more lives destroyed in two needless wars.

Perhaps as much as a trillion dollars in direct and consequential costs.  Untold psychological damage.

Conclusive and irrefutable proof that it was all the result of an inside job.  Proof so compelling that any who deny it must be either morons or traitors.  Truth that cannot be denied.

In light of all this, what do those enlightened beings who see past all the lies; who understand the big picture; who hold the keys to bringing the TRUTH to the fore...what do those self-anointed custodians of The Truth do about it?

They make cute little animated 911-themed cartoons.

They post cute little 911-themed cartoons on the Internet.

Here's a thought: maybe these 911 troofers are really fellow travellers of Muslim terrorists.  Maybe THEY are disinformation agents, trying to deflect blame away from terrorist organizations.  Maybe they are infiltrating America, trying to distract us from the REAL enemy.

If you consider it carefully, their titanically-idiotic ideas and hyper-dishonest style of argumentation are precisely the kind of tactics that Islamic disinformation agents would employ.  Tactics that sow doubt amongst weak minds, while never allowing for honest discussion and investigation that would lead to resolution.

I used to think that you were just confused, Jackster.  That with a little love and support you could overcome your mental illness.  Now the scales have fallen from my eyes.  I've found the sunglasses and I can finally see you for what you really are.

I know that you would never confess -- your life wouldn't be worth a plugged nickle if you owned up to your crimes.  But know this: I'm on to you, Raisin Boy.

Politics / Re: DEATHWATCH: George Herbert Walker "Poppy" Bush
« on: December 10, 2018, 04:51:57 AM »
I too examined this foray into Satan’s body language assessment. Prior to your sharing of it here.

Good on you, for reigniting the relevance of this thread.

This is sickening.  Just blow him already and get it over with. 

Random Topics / Re: Ask Jackstar Anything
« on: December 10, 2018, 04:49:37 AM »
It was just a joke, between Za Za and I, 14. :)

It didn't happen, its fiction.

I was apologizing to you. I thought you were pissed at me.

Also, sorry Jackstar...don't mean to "shit up" your thread. I'll save this place for actual questions directed at you in future.

Contrite drunk is contrite.


Is that what happened to your reading comprehension?  RIP

Lol I actually really like that one. The subtlety of the slight QWERTY keyboard intentional misspelling compliments reality nicely.

Senda often complains that he's too busy

Random Topics / Re: Ask Jackstar Anything
« on: December 09, 2018, 08:24:03 PM »
These are not even questions. DISQUALIFIED.

Helmet, or anteater?

Radio and Podcasts / Re: Tootsie’s next manic episode gearing up
« on: December 09, 2018, 08:03:43 PM »
I see you’re back as “tiny hands”.  Did you lose the password for a couple days or something?

Why don't you try ignoring her?  Is that possible, or do you insist on being an enabler?

Radio and Podcasts / Re: The BartCast
« on: December 09, 2018, 08:02:29 PM »
wow, that's unusual   :)

He is fixated on pictures of girthy penises.  Not that there's anything wrong with that.

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